Giovanni and I don't speak on the way to my house. I unlock the door and invite him in for a glass of water because I can see him sweating in this July heat.
"Gio would you continue to pursue me even if your parents were like Lace's?"
He swallows a sip, "I would love you even if this world was trying to convince me to hate you".
He presses a kiss to the corner of my mouth just as I turn my head and our lips meet. He pulls back shocked then gives my lips another kiss. I open my mouth giving him more access and he slips his tongue inside me dominating the action.
I pull away, "We need to stop".
He nods, kisses my forehead and leaves.
***
I'm to angry and horny to fall asleep. It was now three am and I haven't even changed out of my dress and shoes. I find myself calling Giovanni.
"Where are you?"
"Sophia? Are you alright?"
"Um yeah but I...Where are you?"
"I'm at the Plaza".
"OK".
I hang up the phone, call a Uber and head down to the Plaza hotel.
"Hi I'm here for Giovanni Genovese".
I wait as she calls Gio's room then she nods giving me his room number.
Gio opens the door dressed in black boxers his hair messy and those stormy grey eyes held a fire I hadn't seen before.
"Sophia Ubers are not safe, I could have came to you or sent someone to come get you-"
I kiss him-no I attack his mouth. I didn't come here for him to lecture me on safety I came here because he left me crazy after the kiss. And because I was scared... that he left to get what I didn't give him from another girl.
He deepens the kiss as I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me to the bed. With both legs on either side of me he carefully lifts my body up and zips down my dress.
I cringe, "What are you doing Gio, you don't have to remove my dress, I was just gonna take out my underwear."
He removes his eyes from my breast and up to my eyes scanning them back and forth, searching for something. Beginning to feel uncomfortable, I flick my eyes away from his.
He shakes his head, "I want to unwrap the whole present sweet stuff".
Seconds later my dress was laying on the floor and he now had a full view of my body as the moon shines on me with all its might. I close my eyes tightly, my face growing hot with embarrassment.
"Gio", I whisper.
He clicks his tongue, "My goodness gracious Sophia."
One tear slips. "Gio", this time I was louder.
His hands roam my body like a traveler would the Earth. I can feel the tingles his fingers leave as he grazes my stretchmarks.
Now the tears were falling like hail. "Gio!"
He stops and looks at me, his fingers that were on my rib cage slowly move down as his dark eyes continue to scan mine. Then they stop and his fingers rest on the stretchmarks. He found what he was looking for.
I put both my hands on his chest and push him all the way off me. With blurry vision, I get on my knees searching for my dress. Behind me Gio has gotten of the bed as well and has turned on the light.
I scowl, "Turn of the lights".
He chuckles lightly, "And how exactly are you supposed to find your dress amore?"
I cover myself as best as I can and shake my head violently, "I said turn them off Giovanni". My voice was quiet because I still felt humiliated but it was strong.
He squats down and lifts my face, "Aye(a-yee), Sofia what is it?"
I shake my head, "I need to go Giovanni, I shouldn't have came here tonight."
He sighs and sets a kiss on my nose then hands me my dress. "I know I'm not yours and your not mine yet but for what It's worth, I think your the most beautiful women I've ever met Sophia."
I slip my dress on finally being able to comfortably breath, "You don't have to say that, or anything at all. I'm sorry."
He grabs my hand as I turn to leave, "Sorry for what darling?"
I yank my hand back and ball up my fists, "Sorry for coming here, sorry for all of that, sorry for not being the girl you want!".
He raises an eyebrow, "And what exactly is the girl that I want? Huh Sophia"
Heat rushes to my face, "A girl who isn't as dark as me! A girl who can easily have sex with a guy and is experienced! A girl who doesn't have stretch marks on her body!" I put a hand to my heart surprised at my outburst and to slow my heavy breathing.
Gio slowly walks up to me and takes my balled up fist in his hand. Slowly he unravels my fingers, placing a kiss on each fingertip. When he finishes he brings his hand to his chest where I can feel the rhythm of his heart beating.
"Oh Sophia, Sophia." He pauses and strokes my cheek, "Your wrong, I want a girl who treasures herself and has high standards because she knows how great she's worth. I want a girl with stretch marks on her body, a freckle on the right side of her face and heck! sometimes she even has pimples. I want a girl that reminds me of an exotic flower-"
I roll my eyes, "Describing a black women as an exotic flower is not a compliment, It's as if my blackness does not reach the 'normal' standard of beauty."
Gio shakes his head a small smile resting on his lips, "Even if you were white I would want you, or disabled and maybe had no front teeth."
The smile on his lips grows as he see's the corners of my mouth lift, "Mi amore, I'm talking about your personality, your laugh....your heart." He pulls me close to his chest my ears right on his heartbeat.
He breathes in deeply, "Sophia, Sophia. Veramente(truly), what materials did God make you with?"
I wrap my arms around his neck and he gracefully lifts me off the ground. We get in bed together and he pulls me close to him. With his heartbeat creating a melody to drift me off to sleep, I imagine how I could stay like this forever.
***
I wake up to the smell of syrup and sausages. Laying next to me was a shirtless Giovanni who was playing with my hair. I roll over to look at the clock, 9:45am.
I turn back to him in confusion, "Shouldn't you be at work? You could have left, I know my way back home".
He kisses my forehead and gets up to get a plate of breakfast from room service. "Work can wait and what man would leave a lady in a hotel room especially knowing she was upset? Here, you need to eat mamas"
I take the plate and bite into a sausage. "Oh come on, you mean to tell me you haven't left a girl in a hotel room before? Not even a stripper or prostitute?"
He shakes his head, "My mother raised me with class and the aspects of a gentleman. I have never slept with a stripper nor sex worker and if I did, a woman is a women. She deserves the same respect I give my mother and sister."
I smile, kiss his cheek and brush his dark hair back from his face so I can look into those ice grey eyes that only melt for me, "I know you'll make an amazing father someday".
He smiles back and kisses the back of my hand, "And you a mother bella".
I look away from his eyes and sigh, "Look Gio, Just two months ago-before you came into my life I was glowing, I wasn't stressed about anything, and I was confident. I never would have agreed to go that far last night or questioned my beauty or worth. I'm most definitely not putting the blame on you, I'd be foolish to do so. All I'm saying is that I need a break, from us so I can find me again."
He nods his head slowly, "And then what? What happens after you find 'me'?"
I smile with hope on my lips, "Then we take it slow and find 'us'. By not rushing anything but moving to the rhythm of our own beat."
He smiles too, a sad but hopeful smile, "OK...I'll be sure to send prayers to heaven asking God to help you find yourself fast because I'm useless without you."
I intertwine my fingers with his, "No baby, your not and for that I'll be sure to send my prayers to heaven and ask God to give you strength as you stand apart from me."
I let go reluctant and turn around so he can zip my dress up. I sit on the bed as he slips my high heels on my feet and straps them on for me. I pick up my bag and turn to leave, then stop.
As if we were two minds working as one he raises his palm to his lips, makes a fist then puts his fist where my heart beats and uncurls my fingers so his palm is flat on my chest.
At the same time I have raised my palm to my lips, made a fist and put it where his heart pounds and uncurl my fingers, my palm flat on his chest.
That was our goodbye.
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