A/n: Guys I Wiki-Ed most of the stuff I'm about to throw at you😂
Group chat: It's asinine to give this group chat a name
Revali: Urbosa?
Urbosa: Uh... present...
Revali: ?
Urbosa: T-totally
Mipha: For fuck's sake get a hold of yourself Urbossie
Link: ...
Sidon: HELP
Mipha: Shut up brother
Urbosa: um, shouldn't you be more n -nice?
Revali: What the fuck is going on here?!
Link: ...
Daruk: Speak little guy!
Link: ...
Zelda: Oh Hylia What is going on?!
Mipha: Nothing a Princess should dirty her hands with
Zelda: Mipha?!
Mipha: In the flesh
Revali: What the hell?! Imposter imposter!
Urbosa! Do something!
Urbosa: I-I don't know if I can...
Daruk: Lighting blast this imposter!
Urbosa: But What if I hurt her?! What happens if this is actually Mipha and then I kill her? Oh Nabooru! The king would have my head and the citizens would look down upon me. They would scorn me for eternity! I would go down in history as the Gerudo who murdered the Zora Princess. A champion no less! I wouldn't be chief anymore too! I would be thrown into the prison and I would pay dearly for my crimes! Oh what would I do? I would be forever shamed and dishonored. I wouldn't be a Chief I would be a monster! A monster who couldn't live up to the great Nabooru! Maybe it's in my DNA to fail? I mean the Gerudo have a legend that Ganon was born a Gerudo. He took on a male form of a Gerudo. That only happens every century! For a male to be born! He brought ruin to everything we held dear. He waged wars against the Hylians and we Gerudo followed him without question! Maybe I would be brought into the same fate if I were to go down that path! I love being a Gerudo. I don't think I was given this power to harm but it's clear that I may resemble Ganon himself! Oh, Nabooru!
Daruk: Sorry I asked
Revali: that's the most I have seen Urbosa Text
Link: ...
Zelda: Well, this is the least I have seen Link Text
Revali: Can't we do something fun?
Daruk: Like What?
Revali: Name all the gods we have
Zelda: 😂 ha, elementary bitch
Mipha: fine be more specific. We have many deities Bird Brain
Revali: Major Gods
Mipha: Pfft, Nayru, Din, Farore, Hylia, and Ganon
Zelda: Bravo 👏👏 but do you know what they stand for?🙌
Mipha: Nayru, the Goddess of Wisdom, is one of the three most important deities in the mythos. She came down from the heaven and created the world and Hyrule along with Din and Farore. She is credited with the creation of the laws of the universe and magic. Like the two other Goddesses, her power is represented in the Triforce. Her Triforce is the left one and her choosen hero is usually Princess Zelda who receive near endless wisdom from her Triforce. Nayru is also often affiliated with water and the Zoras.
Zelda: Wait, I'm usually chosen for what?
Link: ...!
Mipha: Shall I keep going? Or is your precious triforce weighing you down? Hmmm?
Zelda: keep going. Of course a Zora knows what Nayru is. Doubt you know the rest
Mipha: Din, the Goddess of Power is one of the three most important deities in the mythos. She came down from the heaven and created the world and Hyrule along with Nayru and Farore. She is credited with the creation of the land. Like the two other Goddesses, her power is represented in the Triforce. Her Triforce is the top one of the three and her choosen hero is usually Ganondorf, the Gerudo King, who receives near absolute immortality and power from his Triforce. Din is often affiliated with fire and the Gorons.
Farore, the Goddess of Courage is one of the three most important deities in the mythos. She came down from the heaven and created the world and Hyrule along with Nayru and Din. She is credited with the creation of all life. Like the two other Goddesses, her power is represented in the Triforce. Her Triforce is the right one of the three and her choosen hero is usually Link who receives limitless courage from his Triforce. Explains why Link is so reckless..
Hylia, is the Goddess who was entrusted with the Triforce by the three Golden Goddesses, Farore, Din, and Nayru. She is heavily worshiped by the Hylians and the Skeikah were her servants. During one of Ganon's rampages she was killed and was later reincarnated as the first Princess Zelda and started the Royal family. Nowadays she is back to her original state.
Ganon, Now Ganon's story starts with demise. Demise is an extremely powerful entity who consider itself as the ruler of the Demon Tribe. Demise is said to be eternal and to have conquered time itself as well as being the source of all monsters in existence. Its appearance is mearly an illusion that changes depending on who lays eyes on it. It is strong enough to kill Hylia's physical form during their first fight and forced her to become a human for some times. He was originally sealed at the end of the war between Hylia and itself. His physical form was eventually defeated by Link with the Master Sword but as a being that conquered time itself, Demise found a way to retain his influence over the world by having its hatred for Link and Zelda become Ganon. Demise is also the reason why Link, Zelda, and Ganondorf are forced to be reincarnated across the ages.
Ganon is the manifestation of Demise's undying hatred. Ganon generally manifests itself as Ganondorf's most powerful form or by itself when a humanoid vessel is not needed. Like Demise, Ganon is worshiped by the Demon Tribe as a god and has the power of one. Also,the Yiga Clan are Sheikah who abandoned Hylia for Ganon.
Beat that princess
Revali: Well, hello Yu-Gi-Oh
Zelda: Fine, you want to challenge me? Bring it on!
Next category!
Daruk: um... Minor gods?
Zelda: Malanya is the Horse God. Like his name suggest, he can take care of anything related to horses in the universe and even has the power to bring them back to life if your horse met an unfortunate end. Malanya looks like a giant humanoid made of wood with a horse head and disembodied hands.
Cycles and Zephos are two brothers who serve the wind god. According to legend, Cyclos had the ability to create giant cyclones. They seem to be revered by the Ritos as their shrines are on Dragon Roost Island. They appear as giant frogs sitting on clouds.
The Fierce Deity is an extremely destructive Deity sealed inside the Fierce Deity's Mask called Majora's Mask. Almost nothing is known about the Fierce Diety except that it is an extremely violent deity that is refered as the "True Bad Guy" by the spirit sealed inside the Majora's Mask, which can either mean that the two were enemies or that even a world ending threat like Majora believes that the Fierce Diety is worse than him.
Take that, Mipha!
Link: ...😰 my brain hurts
Mipha: Oh, I'm not finished Princess!
Guardian deities!
Lord Jabu-Jabu is a large whale like creature that serves as the guardian spirit of the Zora tribe during Ocarina of Time and Oracle of Ages era. He is a very benevolent guardian deity and the Zoras usually encourage outsiders to encounter the spirit even if they are not Zora themselves.
Zelda: The Great Deku Tree is a giant tree-like spirit that serves as the guardian deity of the Kokiris even when they eventually became the Koroks. He is usually found at the center of a huge forest where he lives alongside the Kokiri/Koroks and act as the protector of the forest. During the Great Flood, the Great Deku Tree was mainly known for his attempt to reclaim some land from the depths of the Great Sea overtime using seeds to great new trees that would eventually consolidate the ground near the coasts of most islands. He is also the protector of the Master Sword, a divine weapon created by the Goddess Hylia.
Mipha: hmph. Valoo is a dragon-like spirit that serves as the guardian deity of the Rito. During The Wind Waker era, the Ritos are not able to grow their wings by themselves so they must ask Valoo for one of his scales, which contains the power of the guardian spirit and makes their wings grow. He is also seen actively combating Ganondorf during The Wind Waker era, which may indicate that Valoo may sometimes leave his island to fight evil himself.
Zelda:
The Wind Fish is a deity said to control the wind itself. Within his dreams lies an entire world known as the Koholint Island. During most of The Legendary Hero's Awakening era, the Wind Fish is trapped in an eternal sleep by the Shadow Nightmares and their underlings who realise that the existence of their world would be brought to an end if the deity would ever wake up. While trapped in his eternal nightmare, the Wind Fish is creating enormous storms around himself in the real world, the Hero gets caught up in one of these storms and is transported to the dream after being struck by lightning. The Hero then goes on a quest to awaken the Wind Fish in order to be freed from the dream, defeating the Shadow Nightmares and their underlings in the process, which brings the dream and everyone in it to an end and frees the Wind Fish from his eternal slumber.
Mipha: Ugh, fine. You know win
Zelda: No one is a match for me
Link: Hylia help ussss
Mipha: So naive Princess.
The Spirits of Light are a group of four spirits named Ordona, Faron, Eldin and Lanayru. They were sent in Hyrule by the Golden Goddesses to overcome the power of the Fused Shadow and ultimately defeat the Interlopers during the Interloper War. They are tasked with preserving the light of the realm in their body.
Zelda: Dammit I forgot about them😓😓
Mipha: Not as smart as you say you are, Princess.
Sidon: At least I don't have to go to class today🤗
Mipha:😒 think again
Sidon: heh, heh. Yeah, I'm going to go to class now.
(Sidon has left the chat)
Zelda: This isn't over! Nobody bests me and gets away with it!!
Mipha: Sure Princess, whenever you're ready. Hmm?😉😉
Zelda: 😡
(Mipha has left the chat)
(Zelda has left the chat)
Daruk: Oh, god, this is..
Revali: I don't even know what's going on here!
Urbosa: What did w-we just witness?!
(Urbosa has left the chat)
Link: Cat fights are fun😂😂👏👏
Daruk: 🤦♂️
Link: Next week we should
Revali: No, Link, no