We don't need validation in love. We set our own choices. Choices from getting hurt and choices of getting bind and trap to its own spell.
Gin's POV
I locked myself in my room for a couple of days. I stay away from any information outside. I stop using my phone and have the television set removed from my room. I don't want distraction.. I need space.
If you think I'll be swayed by your comforting words, Lorenzo.. Hah! Think again.
I even put "Isolated place. Do not disturb" board hanging in my room's door.
Our home is in chaos when our family started to make issues of me being dump or something? Ugh.. I plunge myself to the cat shape cushion and settled on a can of beer and a pack of cigarettes. My cousins were calling me through the door saying, "We'll kill that bastard, Z. Just come outside please."
Pansamantala lang naman. Feeling ko kasi ang pangit pangit ko na sa kakaiyak. And I hate being ugly at times like this. I need to be beautiful again. No more ex. No more guys. They'll just rot in hell!
When Enrique and I broke up, hindi ganito.. Nagpakalasing lang ako then the next day I found myself losing my virginity to someone I barely know. Ngayon, brokenhearted ulit ako.. What should I do then? A smile plastered to my face.
I started browsing for a great tattoo on the desktop that I forgot to throw. For a better me.
I need to get this ink to my body..
Where will be the better replacement? On my nape? Yeah... I'll get it done tomorrow morning. That soon.. Kailangan ko ng may paglilibangan.. Kailangan ko ng may bago akong nakikita.
In the next morning, I called one of our maids to clean up my room, I already am suffocated from smoking and smoking. I put on a very loose sando paired with ripped jeans and just a slip-on as my footwear. I didn't bring with me my phone too. It was stuck somewhere.
"Whoah! The monk's already getting out of her shell. How's the isolated place, Dada? Did you enjoy it there?" Mitch trying to joke the isolation process
"Oh.. Im good." i answered mockingly.. "Come with me.. I need some support," sabay hila sa kamay nya. Wala na syang nagawa kundi magpahila sa akin.
"Da, before I forget. There's this certain Ashton guy who keeps on bugging us in the telephone, he can't reach you in your mobile number daw eh. He even sends flowers, it's in the dirty kitchen though. Kawawang mga bulaklak nagkalanta lanta na...." nang biglang may nag doorbell.. Pinasok ang kalaki laking bulaklak.. "Then, there's another one. Tadaaaa!" Mitch spread her arms like it's a surprise..
"Is it a wreath? I'm not dead yet, kuya. Can you please return it to the owner? Kindly put a note.. Fuck you... Got that?" and I dismissed the delivery man. Mitch was bickering all over our trip.
"OMG! You're getting a tattoo, Da? Did you ask Nanay or Tatay?" I just didn't entertain her bubbly mouth. I put on my headset and stop Mitch from entering the room. "Just stay there.."
I know my parents will really get mad with me getting a tattoo but I'm already old enough to explore some shit.
I wanted to scream with that little tingling thing that's piercing on my skin. It's like a sorcerer invading every thin flesh in me. I endured the pain for 2 hours.. I got one in my nape - a lotus, I fell in love with it the first time.. It symbolizes purity.. Purity of my soul people, we all know i'm not pure anymore; in my arm - a proverbs which symbolizes a woman's beauty - a favorite verse of mine; in my left shoulder blade - a dove which symbolizes peace and calmness. Already had three.. For the first timer? I endured a lot.! I love it though.
Mitch was so curious but amazed at the same time with my tats. She even posted it in IG with the caption: Our Dada got her tats! ❤️ Guess it's not that bad being brokenhearted... Im'a try this one too.. Lol.. Binatukan ko nga..
We stopped by at the restaurant to get some food. Inubos ng tattoo yung lakas ko. Ang sabi ng tattoo artist iwasan ko lang na mabasa lagi yung tats dahil nadedeform yung ink. Mitch and I were eating when someone too familiar got my attention. Was it Rex? Why the hell is he here? I have my intuition that someone's tracing our whereabouts. Am I being followed? But why? I get rid of the thoughts and instead take a bite of hamburger.
We went home as soon as we're done eating.
"What's with the tattoo Izygn?" uh-oh.. I face Nanay slowly..
"Ahm.. For a change Nay.." i said biting my lower lip
"What do you think your tatay would say? You know he hates that. Tattoos are for goons.!" she said in her most irritating voice
"Nay! My God.. Im not a kid anymore. And wearing tattoos aren't bad at all. Just because I wore one made me a bad person. It's an art." i reason out
"Hay nakung bata ka. Ikaw na bahalang magpaliwanag sa tatay mo pagdating nya. You had your own mind that I cannot argue with." and she walks out.. You're really a bad girl, ZZ.. I poked myself mimicking Pat's words.
I go to my room to rest. The phone's i've been using in Manila already in the bedside table. I didn't bother turning it on. Instead, I called Jenny from my other phone.
" Hey babeee... I miss you!" i can hear her screechy voice on the other line.
"Oh.. Geez.. Can you lower your tone please? My eardrums' can't handle it.."
"Hmp...! You don't miss me?" i can imagine Jenny pouting her lips now that i smirk..
"Of course.. I miss you! I really do.. When are you coming here?"
"I'm already downstairs.. And Tita's been commenting incessantly about your tats. And she's hitting me right now hahaha.. Come down now!" she shouted before she hangs up. Hayy si Nanay talaga.. I know okay na sya from the fact that Jenny can act childish even with our mother's mood.
My family or rather the whole cast been there eyeing on me like a villain. I still keep mum about my relationship with Ashton.. They'll kick me in the ass if the'll find out I was doing kinky sex with a guy that only sees me as a sex object. Shit! This really hurts...
"Z, Ricky's been trying to contact you.. We're you two okay? Did you fight?" Ralph curiously asked
"Yeah.. We're good as friends, Ralph.. I just don't want to see him right now." they're all quiet trying to blend in my mood swings..
"But why did you get a tats, Z?"
"Already told you people. My goodness! It's just a tattoo.. Don't make it a big deal.. Duh.." i rolled my eyes as I head towards the kitchen, i suddenly crave for something. And I don't know why..
I've spent my whole day lying in bed. What the fuck is really happening to me?? My mood swings are weird. I even shake a cucumber which I hate the most.
My eyes settled to the phone that's been in my desk for days now.
With my curiousity, i turned it on.
"Hey baby. How was your flight? Did you reach home safe"
"Good morning sleepy head. Don't just stay inside your room. You need some sunlight"
"I'm missing you already. Damn. This negotiations are taking too long I can't be there for you. Nevada's too far.. "
"I'll come get you as soon as I get back baby"
"And why are you getting tattoos?? I hate it"
"I got your message from the delivery. Baby, don't be too harsh on me. I love you.
And so on and so forth. I texted back..
" Tsk. Too bad.. I don't love you anymore. So fuck off! And stop sending flowers! Goodbye!"
Then the phone ring. I answered it..
"Thank God.. You're safe sweetheart. I've been worried sick of you" - Ashton. Is he even?
"Oh, please Lorenzo. Cut the crap! No one's filling your bed?" im damned affected alright?
"What?" he chuckles.. "Babe, who will if it's not you? And besides, I'm still here in Nevada and it frustrates me that I can't be with you. And those tattoos, fuck. Get rid of it or else... " damn this guy!
"Whatever, Lorenzo. Bye!" and i hurriedly turned off a phone furiously.
So he was in Nevada for so long. That's why he only use courier to deliver the flowers. Come on Gin, as if you care! Yeah.. Of course no!
You're still in denial Izygn. Imagine the mighty Ashton Lorenzo fall into your trap. Good heavens I've been blessed! What???
Weeks have been passed and no Enrique's coming and I feel relieved too. Well except for the mob of guys who comes and go.. - our cousins. They're really a wild one. They never leaved me alone.
And the overflowing flowers everyday...