I drove to the airport and quickly bought a one-way ticket to the closest airport to Newcastle upon Tyne. When the plane touched down and we were told that we could depart, I grabbed my stuff and got off as quick as possible.
I opened my phone and checked the last text that Ryan had sent me: the address of Haven's maternal grandparent's house where she was staying.
When I got there, I knocked on the front door and her grandmother opened the door. She looked at me for a few seconds before pulling me into a tight hug that was filled with the exact support I needed right now. I let a few tears slip from my eyes and she whispered, "It's going to be okay. Everything will work itself out between you two."
I pulled back and whispered, "Thank you."
Her grandmother, whose name I remembered is Elizabeth, let me in. She led me through the house until we got to the hallway that led to the guesthouse. She turned to me and said, "Haven is staying alone in the guesthouse. She's not home right now, but you can wait for her."
Before she walked away, I asked, "Do you hate me?"
She looked at me and with the same raw honesty Haven got, said, "I couldn't never hate you, honey. You are the perfect man for my granddaughter, and you will treat her right for the rest of her life."
Entering the guesthouse, I remembered when we were here: the sweet memories of our love and the feeling of making love to her. I looked over on the mantle of the fireplace and saw a picture we had taken of us when we were here the original time: our smiles were so wide, and we were staring at each other with pure love in our eyes.
I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard someone behind me. I turned to see Haven and I could see the hurt that clouded her eyes. She was hurting badly. It crushed me and I needed to make her feel better. I stepped forward slightly and whispered, "Haven."
Her head snapped up and trying but failing to hide the wobble in her voice, she asked, "What are you doing here Cason?"
"You left me," I made it a statement with pure hurt and heartbreak lacing the words.
She didn't reply, and I said, "You just left me. All you gave me was that note."
She didn't reply again, and I choked out, "Was it really that hard? What did I do now?"
"You didn't do anything," She whispered. "I did it."
"Haven," I whispered.
"I did it," She repeated louder. "If anyone is truly a fuck up, it's me Cason."
"You are not the fuck up."
"Yes, I am."
"How could you be?"
"Every break in our relationship is my fault."
"I engineered those break ups."
"But, I walked away."
"Every time, I made you walk away."
"But I didn't have to walk away! I could have stayed!" She raised her voice.
I knew I wasn't going to get through to her on that, so I shot off, "What about Andrew? Were you going to tell me about him coming back? Were you going to tell me about what he tried to do?"
"No because I want it to go away."
"It can't just go away. He tried to hurt you, Haven. He tried to rape you!" My voice began to raise.
"Just let it go!"
"It's not going away!"
"Yes, it will! You have got to let it die!"
"I can't just let it die, Haven! What he did and tried to do are fucking horrible things!"
"This is why I didn't tell you!"
"I wish you would have told me."
"I didn't want you to know."
"Why didn't you want me to know?"
"Because you're pissed now, and you want to hurt him! I can't let you hurt him and go to jail no matter how much he deserves it!"
"Even though he hurt you?!" We were close to full-on yelling.
"That's not an excuse to go to jail!"
"It is a perfect reason to go to jail!"
Her eyes blazed with the fire that I loved so unbelievably much, and she snapped, "I don't want you to go to jail. I couldn't stand it if you went to jail."
"I would go to jail if it meant dragging that asshole with me."
She stayed silent and I dropped my voice into a soft tone as I said, "Getting revenge for him murdering an innocent fetus is a good reason to go to jail. Two fetuses is an even better reason to go to jail."
She didn't say anything, her face going pale. I walked forward slightly until I was standing in front of her. I placed my right hand on her lower torso and whispered, "Were you going to tell me?"
I heard her take a deep breath and when she tried to respond, it was only a sob that passed her lips.
I looked up at her and placed my left hand on the side of her face while keeping my right hand on her torso. When she tried to speak again, it only came out as another sob.
I gathered her gently in my arms and she began to cry hard. I felt her whole entire body shake underneath me as she fell to pieces in my arms. I bit my bottom lip as I tried not to break down myself. I felt her legs start to buckle so I reached down and picked her up bridal style.
I sat down on her couch and she continued to sob. She gripped my shirt tightly and began to let it all out, the tears wet on my neck and soaking into my shirt. I didn't care though, and she could cry as much as she needed right now.
A few minutes later, as her sobs began to die, I breathed out. As her tears faded into sniffles, I asked softly, "They were mine, weren't they?"
"Yes," She whispered.
"Fuck," I cursed, making her jump.
I cradled her neck quickly and whispered, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."
"It's fine," She sniffled. "It's just you were the only one I had been with in the time frame that I got pregnant and you always wanted a child. I could have given you that, but I failed. I lost the only thing you ever wanted and god, I hate myself."
I was about to argue, but two knocks sounded at the door. I smoothed her hair and said, "I'll get it."
Opening the door, I found a man and a woman, both in suits. I cleared my throat and asked, "How can I help you?"
The woman held up a badge and said, "Agent Reece."
The man held up a similar badge and said, "Agent Rikers."
"How can I help you two?"
"We are from the Los Angles Police Department, here looking for Haven Night," Agent Rikers said.
"She's here. What can she do for you?"
"We have questions about Andrew Bring," It was Agent Reece who replied this time.
Haven appeared at my side and said, "I'll answer any questions you need to know."
"We were hoping you would be willing to join us down at the station to answer our questions," Agent Rikers said.
She nodded and said, "Let me get my jacket."
I let them step into the house while she did. She waved me over and when I was next to her, she whispered, "You'll come with me, right?"
I kissed her softly and said, "Of course, I will."
Three hours later, we both entered the house. It was a long process full of every question in the book, but Haven answered every damn one with every detail as possible.
I was so fucking proud of her.
As she stood at the bathroom sink, I stepped up behind her and wrapped my arms around her loosely before nuzzling her neck. She laughed softly before turning around to face me. She gave me a small smile and I kissed her lips.
I couldn't help but then place my hands softly on where the fetuses would have grown.
I placed my hands where our children would have grown.
I got on my knees softly and pushing up her shirt, placed a kiss against that spot. I stood back up and whispered, "One day, we will have a chance. One day, we will have a kid. I promise you that."
She pushed up on her tiptoes and kissed me.
I cupped her face softly and slid my tongue past her lips to crash with hers. I stroked her tongue softly, gaining a soft moan from her. I clutched her thighs and lifted her up before pressing her against the wall behind her. She wrapped her legs around my waist tightly to hold herself up while her arms wound around my neck and her fingers slid into my hair.
I pressed myself against her tightly as I continued kissing her. I needed her to feel what I felt for her.
She broke the kiss and giggled before saying, "I need to take a shower. If I keep kissing you, I am not going to end up in the shower."
I started the shower for her on hot while she got undressed. My eyes trained on the spot where the babies would have grown and before she could take off her bra or underwear, I couldn't help myself but to kneel down and kiss the area again.
"You would have been an amazing mother, Haven."
She sniffled and I stood up. I brushed my lips across her forehead and whispered, "I should let you get showered."
While she was showering, I got ready for bed. I didn't bother finding a hotel or anything because I wasn't going to be able to leave her side. I took off my shoes and socks and dropped them near the hamper. I threw my shirt and jeans on top of them before closing my eyes and breathing out.
I could have had children.
I was so deep in thought that I didn't realize Haven was done until I felt her fingers brush my back softly. I felt my muscles tense before I turned to face her. Like always, she took my breath away, but this time it was more because she was wearing a shirt of mine.
"Stealing shirts, are we?" I asked.
She bit her bottom lip and with a blush on her face, admitted, "I actually think I stole this one when we were in high school and never gave it back."
I angled her head up and softly pressed my lips to hers. I leaned my forehead against hers and whispered, "What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking about how much I love you and how nice it would have been to have at least a kid with you," She whispered.
I pulled her tightly against my body and ran my fingers on her bare thighs. Her breath hitched and I couldn't help but carry her to the bed. I laid her down softly with her head on the pillow and leaned over her, resting my weight on my forearms.
She ran her knuckles along my neck, and I shivered. She did it again, leaving a trail of goosebumps in her wake.
It was then that she lifted herself up onto her elbows and kissed me. Everything changed as a fever-like feeling swept through me. We quickly became naked skin against naked skin, and I whispered, "If you want, I will stop. If you don't want this, I promise I will stop."
"I don't want you to stop," She whispered, out of breath.
"Are you sure? I don't have protection," I was completely honest with her.
"I don't want you to stop," She whispered again.
I took my time, making sure she felt how much I loved her. When I got down to her lower torso again, I paused. I pressed a soft kiss there before running my fingers over the area. She gasped softly and I kissed the area again.
I moved back up to lean over her and whispered, "I want to have a child with you. I couldn't with anyone else. You are the only person I would want to have a child with."
With those words, I pushed myself inside of her. She tipped her head back and moaned deeply as I began to move, keeping it slow and steady. She held my back tightly, digging her fingers into my shoulder muscles and I panted as I kept moving.
Soon enough, I felt the familiar pressure building inside of me and then the warmth that followed as I let go.
I buried my head in her neck and tried to catch my breath, still buried inside of her. I could hear her panting as well and feel her hands as they softly trailed my back. Her fingers dipped low on my back and she whispered, "Can we go again?"
Her eyes filled with raw honesty as she said, "Being with you this way is making it better and I need to be with you this way."
I leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Just remember that this is me making love to you, not sex."
"I remember that," She whispered.
"I will always make love to you if you want it. I will do it as much as you like," I whispered before I began to move again.
That night was filled with pure pleasure as we made love to each other several times. Sometimes, I would pull out of her and show love to the place where our child would have grown. Other times, I massage her body until she was completely relaxed.
The one thing I always did was prove to her that I loved her.
REALLY long chapter, guys! Being as it is 8 pages and 2,334 words long on Word, I would definitely say that.
GUYS! THERE'S FIVE MORE PARTS LEFT IN THE STORY: 3 ACTUAL CHAPTERS AND THEN THE TWO-PART EPILOGUE!!!