Ｂｒｕｎｏ'ｓ Ｐ．Ｏ．V
After Kalani left, I had a literal mental breakdown, right there in the kitchen. What he said was right, I wasn't opening up to him. Or to anyone for that matter.
I ordered Chinese for the kids and set it on the table, calling them to come eat. Kalani still avoided eye contact with me and because of that, the table was completely silent. Kalea wasn't in the mood to talk either. I excused myself from the table, got up, and went upstairs to change into a t-shirt and some gray sweatpants, as usual. I didn't feel like going back downstairs so instead, I went to the place that I haven't stepped in since last December.
The attic. I pull the ladder down and climb up the little hole that appeared in the roof, using the flashlight on my phone so I could see where I was going.
It smelled like skin cells and stale air. I took a deep breath a hauled myself up into the dark room.
It was filled with boxes, mostly old things stored away, probably never to be seen again. The only time I ever came up here was around Christmas because this was where the decorations were stored away. I was the only one who came up here. I never used let Kallie climb up here by herself because she fell once and sprained her wrist.
The floor creaked underneath me as I made my way over to the little bookshelf in the corner. A big wrinkled box sat on the bottom shelf that had "Bruno Mars" written in big bold letters with a permanent marker. I instantly knew what was in the box, and my hands shook a little as i took it up. I set my phone down so my phone's flashlight could illuminate the darkness. I opened the box and my hands touch some kind of cool metal. I pick the object up and examine it.
It was one of my Grammy Awards.
I let out a big breath while I turned it around in my hands, my eyes blurring a little bit.
It's funny, so many memories blurred my thoughts right then and there, it made me feel like I just won this Grammy yesterday. I place the trophy back into the box and freeze when I feel something sharp scrape my hand. I picked it up and realized that it's a book. Putting the box back on the shelf, I grab my phone and start climbing down the ladder again, the corners of the book poking my hand because I held it awkwardly. I put the ladder back up and climb quietly downstairs, careful not to alarm the kids, who were still eating.
I tip-toed to my guest room and sat on the bed, examining the book in my hands. On the front, "Bruno's Song Book" was messily scribbled. I wiped off the thing layer of dust on it and opened it. On the front page was Kallie and Kalani, who was about 4 in that picture. I took a breath and closed the book, then opened the little drawer in the nightstand and gently placed the book inside.
That would have to wait, I thought.
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3rd Person P.O.V
A week later.
The day of the funeral approached quickly and Bruno and Genesis were both loathing it. Bruno was almost late waking up, Kalani didn't want to wake up at all. He knew what was happening. After a few sharp words from Bruno, he finally rolled out of bed and pulled himself to the bathroom.
Kalea on the other hand was easy to wake up. She was young, she had no clue what was going on. She even got excited when Bruno pulled out her black little dress with pink flowers on it. Bruno thought it fitted the occasion. She was a smart little girl, and she knew something was amiss. She sat on the bed quietly while Bruno pulled on her cute little white stockings with gold butterflies.
"Are we going somewhere, daddy?" She asked as he strapped on her fancy black shoes.
"Yes."
She paused and frowned, not satisfied with his short answer. "Are we going to church?"
"Yes, we are, sweetheart." He ruffled her hair playfully. "Now what are we gonna do with that hair?"
She shrugged and grinned a little. "Do what mommy usually does." Bruno's face fell a little and she noticed. "Why are you sad, Daddy?"
Bruno kneeled so he could be at the same height as her. "Why do you think that?" He asked softly.
"Because you don't smile anymore." She cocked her head to the side and studied him. "Is it because Mommy's gone?"
Bruno slowly nodded. There was no use hiding it anymore, Kalea was a smart girl and he knew that. She could read her father like a book, a skill she might've learned from her mother.
"Kalani and me are still here." She said.
"Kalani and I, Lea." He corrected.
She scrunched up her nose and gave him a look. "Ok."
Bruno checked his watched and let out a sigh. "Go downstairs and wait for me. I gotta go check up on Kalani." She nodded and proceeded to walk past him and carefully climb down the stairs. "And don't try to reach anything in the cupboards, please!" He yelled after her.
"I won't, daddy!"
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Genesis had to put on extra makeup that day. She was exhausted. She barely got any sleep, and she ran out of sleeping pills. It was late and the pharmacy had closed. Not only that, but she didn't want to go anywhere when it was dark. Every since she found her ring on the sidewalk, she developed a new found paranoia that she'd never experienced before. It came with fear that threatened to swallow her whole. She hated it.
She didn't want to dress up. She didn't feel like dressing up to go to her friend's funeral. Any normal person wouldn't. But she put on a simple black dress anyways. She was quiet, Sarah noticed it too.
The drive to the church was fast. She could remember the last time she stepped foot into a church, and she furrowed her eyebrows and tried to force away the memories.
She was suddenly seated inside the church. Everything seemed surreal to her, she felt like she was floating. She felt like all of this was a dream that she wished she could wake up from, but she couldn't.
The casket was a simple wooden brown, the top of it was open. Genesis couldn't see anything inside of it but she forced herself to look away anyways. Time passed. She didn't know how long she sat there for, staring into space. Maybe it was a few minutes. A few seconds. An hour?
She looked around as the church suddenly became silent. Everyone seemed to be steering behind her, towards the door. With a raised eyebrow, she slowly turned around and frowned. Standing there was the Hernandez family. Bruno held a small Kalea in his arms, her head rested on his shoulder. He felt the looks of everyone on him and he grew wary and directed his eyes down, silently nodding at Kalani who seemed to be frozen in place.
They walked to the casket.
Bruno gently put his daughter down and studied the body lying in the casket.
Who is she? He asked himself. Certainly not his wife. She was thin. She was pale.
He felt sick to his stomach.
They smeared red lipstick messily unto her lips. She used to hate red lipstick. Her brown hair seemed dull. Her eyes were closed.
Bruno used to love her eyes. He always said he "saw a million stars" inside of them, and she would always laugh and hide her face, her cheeks turning red. But now, they were probably blank. Cold.
Lifeless.
He felt a tear drip down from his eyes and down his cheeks. It settled under his chin. He couldn't seem to move. He felt another tear.
Kalea went on her tip-toes so she could see the inside of the casket. She frowned, slowly reaching over and using her fingertips to touch the hand of her mother. She was confused. She didn't know why her mother was asleep in this wooden tube. 'Is this where she was this entire time?' She thought.
She drew back a little, her heart jumping from how cold her mother's hands felt. She touched her again. "Daddy," She said slowly. She felt fear clawing at her insides, making her little hands shake a little. "Why won't she wake up?"
That did it for Bruno. He let out a sob, then covered his mouth with his hand. Kalea was scared. She was puzzled. She didn't know what was happening but she knew something was terribly wrong. Abysmally wrong. She felt a tear drip down her cheek. Then another.
"Why isn't she waking up?" She tugged his black blazer. "Daddy," She was clearly upset now. She clung to her father. The 3 of them stood by the coffin, and cried.
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The service had been going on for about 30 minutes now. The viewing was over and the coffin was now shut. Bruno felt numb.
There was a choir onstage singing classic hymns, each one tugging at Genesis' heart. She wanted to cry, she wanted to curl up into to ball. She wanted to leave.
But she sat quietly and watched the choir on stage. About an hour in the service, the choir cleared the stage and she saw Bruno stride up the stairs slowly. He stood behind the pulpit and cleared his throat into the microphone. His eyes were red and puffy, his hair disheveled from pulling on it too much. He looked a mess. Genesis glanced to where he just got up from and saw Kalani sitting with his head buried in his hands, his sister seated in the lap of a lady that Genesis did not recognize.
He said something into the mic. "Good morning everyone." His voice cracked and he took a deep breath. A man that look a little similar to him climbed unto the stage and stood behind Bruno, gently patting his back. "For those of you who don't know, my name is Peter. Called Bruno by my friends and family. I am..." He hung his head low and the strange man behind him patted his back again. "I was the husband of Kallie. I.." His voice trailed off again and he breathed out a sad sigh. "I don't have a paper to read off, so I'll just say whatever comes to mind." He cleared his throat again.
"Kallie Rose Hernandez. Where do I start?" He let out a sad, humorless laugh. "I met her in high school. Back in Hawaii. She was new, she was shy. Nobody was really making the effort to talk to her, you know? I saw her one day at lunch, reading a book by herself." He paused and smiled a little, looking out of space. "She was a nerd."
The congregation chuckled a bit.
"I'd like to say that I talked to her as soon as she arrived at school, but I didn't. I ignored her just like everybody else. But it was just that particular day, something was eating at me. So I walked over to her. I said hi."
"I didn't know back then that, you know, behind all that shyness there'd be something that I'd.. eventually fall in love with. Neither of us knew it, but we'd welcome a son 3 or 4 years later. It was a rocky journey but.. it changed us for the better." He seemed to gain confidence with every word that he spoke. He looked at the congregation. "Each one of you knew Kallie as a different person. To some of you, she was a shy, quiet person. To others she was loud and joyful. To me, she was my best friend, the love of my life, and my wife. To my kids, she was a great mother and excellent listener. But to all of us here, she was a remarkable person."
"Kallie and I were... very different. Where I was loud and obnoxious she was silent and timid. But we both loved one thing that brought us closer together. She was a shower singer, she was shy to even sing around me. Most of you know that I am anything but a shy singer." He shrugged but continued. "But we connected through R&B music. And I'm talkin' about real 80's and 90's R&B. She loved Jodeci, Whitney Houston,Jagged Edge, Silk, 112, Shai, Mint Condition, Jon B. ,Aaliyah, New Edition, Keith Sweat, Boyz II Men and a whole bunch of other R&B artists." The congregation cheered with each artist that Bruno mentioned. He smiled a little. "Her favorite songs were 'I Have Nothing' by Whitney Houston and 'End Of The Road' by Boyz II Men. Those songs had some kind of effect on her. Whenever she was mad, sad, angry, uncomfortable or any other kind of negative emotion, I would sing 'End Of The Road' to her and she'd calm down. I sang it to her when she was in labor with Kalani and later when she was giving birth to Kalea. I sang it to her when she was nervous on our wedding day. I sang it to her whenever I did something stupid that would hurt her." His eyes watered.
"I'd like to sing it right now, just one last time." He silently got up and walked over to the black grand piano that was on the left side of the stage. The choir slowly started making their way back to their stands in their red robes, and two other gentlemen climbed up the stairs and took their spots behind Bruno. The man who was patting Bruno's back during his speech sat behind the drums. With the nod of his head, Bruno gently starting playing the melody for the song. He shut his eyes. He pretended that Kallie was sitting on the stool beside him, swaying along to his voice. He opened his eyes.
She wasn't there.
He cleared his throat and let out a sigh, then sang.
We belong together
And you know that I am right
Why do you play with my heart?
Why do you play with my mind?
Said we'd be forever
Said it'd never die
How could you love me and leave me and never
Say goodbye?
His voice shook with emotion.
When I can't sleep at night
Without holding you tight
Girl, each time I try I just break down and cry
Pain in my head
Oh, I'd rather be dead
Spinning around and around
That verse broke him. He stopped playing the piano and hung his head low, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. The audience clapped, urging him on. Phil patted his back and continued singing for him. Bruno finally composed himself and continued, his fingers gracefully moving across the piano keys.
Although we've come
To the end of the road
Still I can't let go
It's unnatural
You belong to me
I belong to you
Although we've come
To the end of the road
Still I can't let go
It's unnatural
You belong to me
I belong to you
The choir joined in. Bruno was surprised. He had mentioned to Phil about singing this song, so he figured Phil told them something.
Girl, I know you really love me
You just don't realize
You've never been there before
It's only
Your first time
Maybe I'll forgive you
Maybe you'll try
We should be happy together forever
You and I
Will you love me again
Like you loved me before
This time I want you to love me much more
This time instead
Just come to my bed
And baby just don't let me go
Bruno stopped singing and let Phil and the choir continue for him. He closed his eyes again, because this was the spoken part of the song. Bruno would make his voice really deep and it would send Kallie into a fit of giggles, making her forget whatever she was mad at. He gulped.
"We're all here for a beautiful woman who was taken from us way too soon." He said over the music. "She was gentle, and the kindest person I've ever met, you know? She taught me how to put stuff aside and focus on my family. She taught me how to think before I speak. She taught me how to cook, and Lord knows I needed that lesson." The audience chuckled. "And in return, I taught her how to love. And she was doing that perfectly for the past 18 years, which I am so damn thankful for. She loved to dance, she loved to write poems, she loved to smile. Gosh, her smile was beautiful. I saw my future in her smile, I saw a million suns in her smile, I could endure any pain when I saw her smile. She stood by me and never left my side, despite the many mistakes that I've made. She taught my kids the same values. She's raised them effortlessly and I don't even know how I'ma fill her shoes." He looked down at his hands as the choir quieted down a bit, humming the song. "I've lost my the mother of my children, the love of my life, my supporting wife, and my best friend all in the same day. I just wanna end this with the fact that she changed me. Shaped me into the man I am today, and I am forever thankful."
He re-continued his singing.
Although we've come
To the end of the road
Still I can't let go
It's unnatural
You belong to me
I belong to you
Although we've come
To the end of the road
Still I can't let go
It's unnatural
You belong to me
I belong to you
Bruno stopped playing the piano and let the choir sing A Capella. He closed his eyes again and smiled a little, a few tears escaping down his cheeks.
It was beautiful.
It was what Kallie would've wanted.
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It had been an hour. Other family members and friends of Kallie gave their Eulogies, sharing the things she did when she was alive. Kalea had climbed out of Jaime's lap and into Bruno's lap, her legs sprawled across his thighs, sniffling quietly until she fell asleep. Kalani leaned his head on his father's shoulder and looked into space, and Bruno rested his free hand around his son's shoulders. When the singing was over and Bruno said a few more words to the crowd, he got a standing ovation. Whether that was allowed in a funeral or not, he wasn't sure. But it warmed his heart and temporarily took away from the aching he felt. Temporarily.
Jaime rubbed his back comfortingly, being the big sister she was. He looked over at her and gave her a small smile, his heart warming a little more. He knew his sisters and Eric were there for him no matter what, and it took a little of the burden off his shoulders.
He spotted Genesis on the other side of the church, looking miserable. He felt a pang of embarrassment from the Parent Teacher's night when he cried in front of her, but he pushed it back and focused on whatever the pastor was saying.
Kallie's parents were very religious.
Bruno pulled on the tie around his neck a little to loosen it, and looked down at his daughter. He frowned at her sad face and leaned down to press a loving kiss to her chubby cheek. She shifted a little in her sleep.
Bruno really loved his children to death, and he promised himself never to neglect them or take his anger out on them because of the gaping hole that Kallie left behind. He didn't want them to grow up damaged and hurt, because that certainly wasn't how he was raised.
He was selected to be one of the pallbearers. It was pretty much expected of him, the husband of the deceased woman to be the one to carry the casket out of the church and into the hearse. He didn't feel like doing it. The crying had made him weak and to top it off, he hadn't eaten anything in 2 and a half days. He knew it was unhealthy, but he didn't feel hungry. However, he vowed to eat something after the funeral was finished when he was putting on his pants that morning and noticed that he had to buckle his belt farther than usual. He also noticed how loosely his blazer fitted him now.
He was also very tired. He had only gotten a few hours of sleep that night, when it was about 5:00 am, and the sun was just beginning to rise. The image of Kallie's wrecked minivan cemented itself into Bruno's brain, and so every time he closed his eyes to try and get some sleep, the same image would appear over and over again until he gave up on sleeping and cried until his stomach ached and his head throbbed. He'd learn to bury his head into his pillow and clutch his pillowcase in agony,something he had never done before. He didn't want anyone hearing his pathetic sobs or his heavy breathing. He didn't want anyone to hear his grief and despair.
He tried to steer clear of his bedroom and was unsuccessful with it. Sometimes he had to go up there for an extra pair of underwear, or for his razor that was in the bathroom connected to the bedroom he used to share with Kallie. Each time he opened the bedroom door, he'd hold his breath and grab whatever he needed quickly, as if there was a wild animal on his tail. That bedroom haunted him. It was basically untouched, the same things in the same spot since Kallie died.
Bruno's unmade bed. He didn't have the chance to tidy it up, because as soon as Kallie left to go see her friend, he went straight to the kitchen to start breakfast for the kids. He didn't get the chance to clean up himself a little before he got the phone call that wrecked his life.
His eyes watered again for the 57th time that day.
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The service was coming to an end. Bruno slowly eased Kalea into his sister Tiara's arms and quietly made his way up to the front of the church to sit in the seat where the other pallbearers were. Seated beside him was a cousin of Kallie that he had only met once, some other family friend of Kallie, and Kallie's father. Kallie's father nodded towards Bruno with a sad smile and patted his back reassuringly. Phil and Eric made their way up the aisle in sat beside Bruno. He shifted a little so they could squeeze beside him.
Kallie didn't have any other close male relative except for her father. Bruno was sure that the cousin and the strange family friend hadn't talked to Kallie in years. Eric had known Kallie as long as Bruno did, and Kallie was the one who introduced Bruno to Phil.
When William, Kallie's father, asked if Bruno had anyone in mind to be a pallbearer, they were the first people to pop up in his head. It was only right, she loved them as much as he did. And they were honored for the position.
"You ok, Bru?" Phil whispered. He noticed how pale and disheveled his friend had looked, and he was worried.
Bruno's looked up from his slumped position, his forehead wrinkled and his eyes glossy and pink. He gave his friend an unreadable look and without a word, lowered his head again. Phil frowned. He didn't know how to help Bruno, mainly because Bruno hated pity. And that seemed like the only way Phil could treat him; with pity. He couldn't help it, he really just wanted to help. He had noticed the bags under Bruno's eyes and the way his clothes hung off of him now. He wanted to say something about it, but he couldn't bring himself to. Bruno was grieving and Phil didn't want his best friend to lash out on him.
The fact that Kallie was dead was unreal. It didn't make any sense. She was here one day and gone the next.
The whole ordeal made Phil nervous. He was scared for his own wife. He saw how one accident ripped the Hernandez family apart. He couldn't imagine what Bruno was going through, and he didn't want to. He glanced behind him and looked across the church to spot his wife and kids seated, Urbana watching the pastor intently. She looked sad. He felt sad.
He turned around and listened to the pastor.
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The service was now finished. The church was quiet for a while, then was quickly filled with the sound of rustling and murmurs as people got ready to leave.
That was the longest 2 hours of Bruno's life.
One by one, the group of men in the front row got up and marched towards the casket. Bruno felt nauseous again. He ran his finger along the smooth exterior of the casket, his hands shaking slightly. Then he started helping the group of men pick the casket up. With a few grunts from William, the casket was carefully held by the six men. People quickly cleared out of the aisle and watched the men carry the casket towards the exit, their faces grim and sorrowful. Someone was playing some sad song on the piano, and it brought more tears to Bruno's eyes. He forced himself not to cry, his nose was burning and his throat was aching.
They finally made it outside.
The casket was carefully placed inside of the hearse. And then, it drove off.
People were now filing in their own vehicles, getting ready to drive behind the hearse and to the cemetery. Bruno was happy to carpool with his sisters for once.
And so, they were off to the cemetery.
A.N
Hey guys. i'm not really sure about how i feel about this chapter. mainly because :
a) it was kinda short
b) i hate funerals with a burning passion. i had to do a lot of research about funerals and eulogies and all that stuff and it was just a bit too much for me, so if the ending of this chapter seems off then that's the reason. i just really hate funerals. i think you can understand why.
c) i don't like adding song lyrics to my stories anymore because i think it throws the whole chapter off but the lyrics were so deep i just had to put them here
d) back to the research of funerals. i'm not american and so i wasn't sure if my own cultural traditions for funerals were the same as american funerals. sorry if this chapter doesn't make sense. i tried my hardest lol
anyways if you made it this far then ily and please share this story, tell yo aunty, yo aunty's aunty, yo uncle, yo uncle's uncle, and so on lmao