Gratsubingo 2019
Prompt: Trust
Chapter 12
There was smoke everywhere, making it hard to see or make out any smell outside of sulfur. Natsu noticed a wall of hellfire to the left, which could only belong to Atlas.
His uncle roared, desperately trying to get at something just outside of Natsu's view. There were bursts of spells in the air as different magics clashed in a cacophony of sound and light that drowned out every other noise.
Natsu's attention was soon drawn to the ground, where blood was splattered everywhere, making it seem like the earth itself was bleeding out.
He felt a massive surge of magical power and searched for its source with alarm. It seemed to come from a man who stood alone on the field, eyes glued to the battle in the sky. Natsu studied him, sensing his importance.
The man had long blue hair, his arms riddled with markings of the same color. Natsu could feel the aura of malevolence that surrounded him as he laughed in a way that made his skin crawl.
It was at that moment Natsu saw his father. Igneel looked tired and bruised. There were scars on his body where there had been none before. He challenged the man on the field with a thunderous roar, but it sounded less confident than Natsu remembered. It lacked Igneel's usual spirit.
Everything slowed down, and Natsu could only watch with a growing sense of dread as the man transformed into a dragon. A black dragon, covered in the blue markings of the man's skin.
There was someone else like him? But how could that be? Natsu had always been told he was the only one.
The black dragon zoomed towards his father, and Natsu could do nothing but observe with a growing sense of helplessness.
"IGNEEL! IGNEEL, NO!"
Natsu could hear the desperate plea in Atlas' roar, and he forced himself to check on his uncle.
The wall of hellfire had disappeared, revealing the rest of his family. Metalicana, Grandine, Weisslogia, and Skiadrum looked exhausted, barely able to keep themselves in the air.
Atlas left them behind as he made a desperate charge towards his brother, his hellfire blazing around him, Natsu had never seen him act with such recklessness, and it only fueled his despair ...
Gray startled awake, his magic flaring as it fought against the oppressive heat Natsu was exuding. He thrashed about on the bed, moaning and muttering unintelligibly.
"IGNEEL, NO!" Natsu shrieked in his sleep, tears streaming down his face. "Atlas, please hurry!"
"Natsu?" Gray tried shaking the dragon slayer, hissing as his fingers were burned instantly.
Covering himself in a layer of frost, he continued to rouse his friend. "Natsu, wake up!"
Gray scampered away as Natsu's body covered itself in flames hotter than any he'd ever felt before. The bed and all its coverings disintegrated into a small cloud of ash.
Wendy and Sting ran into the room with a groggy looking Gajeel and Rogue lagging behind.
"What's going on?"
"He's having some kind of nightmare!" Gray yelled in alarm, not knowing what else to do. He'd never seen Natsu like this, and his desperate screams were tearing at him.
The dragon slayers all tried to get close enough to Natsu to wake him, but his infernal flames made it impossible. He continued to thrash and scream out Igneel's name, getting louder and louder as desperation took over.
All the dragon slayers looked spooked. None of them knew what to do either.
"Use your bond," Wendy suggested, sounding unsure.
"My bond?" Gray peered at Wendy, "What?!"
He had no clue what she was talking about.
"You told Gajeel you heard Natsu calling you in your mind," Wendy reminded him. "We all saw you have some sort of conversation with him when Happy brought him back. He was unconscious, Gray. You could only talk to him because the two of you are bonded. Use that bond to break through to him."
Gray shook his head in confusion, Natsu was always the one who started whatever that was, from the very first time it had happened. The few times he'd managed it had all been flukes. He'd thought Natsu was awake when he'd tried, and he'd even tried again later and gotten no response.
"Just try, Gray," Wendy pleaded, "Look at him, he's hurting."
Gray closed his eyes and thought as hard as he could, pouring all of his concern into it.
Natsu? Natsu, you need to wake up.
Natsu remained silent, but Gray was bombarded with a slew of feelings he couldn't interpret. There were far too many, and they were all muddled together.
Still, he kept trying, so desperate to get through to Natsu he didn't even notice his own tears.
NATSU!
Gray grunted in frustration. This wasn't getting them anywhere. He was about to turn to Wendy when he felt a sort of pull in his mind, and then he heard Natsu, his voice faint but there.
Gray?
Yeah, it's me. You need to wake up.
Our dragons are in trouble! Igneel, he's... he's...
It's not real, Natsu. Whatever you're seeing, it's not real. It's just a nightmare. You need to wake up.
But he needs me...
Gray put as much command as he was able into his thought.
NATSU DRAGNEEL, WAKE UP NOW!
Gray could feel their connection ebbing away, but he saw results. Natsu stopped yelling, and the flames that surrounded him wavered until they disappeared. A few minutes later, his eyes blinked open, and he sat up, his breath coming in rapid gasps.
Natsu covered his eyes with his arm and dissolved into sobs.
The dragon slayers all stood paralyzed. They'd never seen Natsu cry. Not when they were younger, not when Igneel left. They all looked at each other, not quite knowing what to do.
Gray was the only one to move. Right before everything had gone to hell, Natsu had woken him out of a horrible nightmare. He'd sat behind Gray and held him tightly. Even when Gray had tried to fight him off, Natsu had held on stubbornly, and that had been exactly what Gray had needed.
He sat behind Natsu now and pulled him into a tight embrace, ignoring the charred remains of the bed they had been sharing, some of which had gotten into the still healing burns on Natsu's back. Natsu didn't struggle. He just howled louder. Gray tried to comfort him, shushing him and making soothing noises, but he mostly just let him cry.
He lost track of the other people in the room as he focused on Natsu. What Gray had felt when they were connected was a pain so raw it had overwhelmed him. He might not have understood all the layers, but he didn't have to.
It quashed all of his earlier anger and made him realize for the first time that Natsu was barely holding it together. He'd been putting on a show for them for months, maybe even longer.
When Natsu stopped crying, Gray let go of him, taking a better look at his back. He winced and looked for Wendy, who was sitting in a corner. All the other dragon slayers had left the room. Wendy looked shaken by Natsu's outburst, but she came over.
"We need to get him cleaned up before I can heal him," Wendy explained, reaching out to Natsu and shaking his shoulder gently, "Natsu, can you go in the bath?"
Natsu nodded but did not try to move, so Gray stood up and pulled the dragon slayer along with him, following Wendy through the maze-like cave until they reached a hot spring. She left them alone and waited outside.
"You guys have your own hot spring?" Gray looked around him in amazement.
Natsu nodded listlessly. Gray found some bathing supplies and urged him into the water gently.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Gray asked.
Natsu shook his head, looking almost like a child as the tears once again welled in his eyes. Gray grabbed a washcloth and used it to wash Natsu's back, getting all the char out of his wounds in as gentle a manner as possible. Natsu gave no sign he even felt it.
"It's okay, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Gray assured him, "You gave us quite a scare, though."
"I'm sorry," Natsu bowed his head, refusing to meet Gray's eyes.
"Don't worry about it. Do you mind if I join you?" Gray waited for Natsu to respond in the affirmative before wading in to remove all the dirt from his own skin. The water was much warmer than he liked, so he got out quickly and Natsu followed behind him.
Wendy led them back to Natsu's room, observing the lack of response with concern. She let Natsu enter by himself, giving him privacy to get dressed.
Wendy handed Gray a change of clothes that he recognized with dismay as belonging to Sting. He put them on without comment, knowing they'd be off soon enough.
"Did he say anything to you?" Wendy asked once he'd gotten dressed.
"Just that he was sorry for worrying us."
Wendy and Gray shared a concerned glance before entering the room. The sight of Natsu dressed in pajama pants and cuddling up to Happy greeted them. The whelp had wrapped his wings around Natsu and was making purring noises that seemed to relax the dragon slayer.
Happy tensed the moment he saw Gray, fixing his eyes on the ice mage, and seeming ready to fly away. Gray fought off his initial instincts, his concern for Natsu overriding his hatred for the moment.
He put his hands up in front of his body and backed out of the room slowly, understanding that Happy was doing a better job of comforting Natsu than he'd been able to.
It made sense. The dream seemed to have something to do with their dragons, and Happy was the closest Natsu had to his two missing red dragons.
It was for the best, and it gave him time to think about how he wanted to handle the situation. There were so many answers he wanted, but not at the price of spooking Natsu. He was stressed enough as it was.
Gray made his way to the cave's entrance, enjoying some cool air for the first time in hours. The more he thought about it, the more he thought Erza was right in her assumptions.
Natsu was searching for any hostile dragons close enough to be a threat to the village, taking care of them before they could cause any damage. It was the only thing that made any sense to Gray, and it terrified him.
He'd watched as a dragon had destroyed his entire village in mere minutes. It was true that Natsu had a particular type of magic that let him fight dragons, but he still remembered how big Deliora had been and he just couldn't believe that Natsu could defeat something like that on his own. Even with his magic.
Gray didn't want to lose another person he loved to those beasts.
He knew he could continue to pressure Natsu, demand answers the dragon slayer was not willing to give. But all it would accomplish would be to create a wedge between them. One from which they might never recover.
As much as he hated it, Gray had to accept that Natsu needed to put his life in danger to protect the town until the war was over, or their dragons returned.
Nothing Gray felt for Natsu would change that. Nor should it. He was being selfish, and he knew it. There were bigger things at stake here than his feelings. The attack already proved that what Natsu was doing was important. It had likely saved countless lives.
Gray groaned in defeat. There was only one choice. He had to put his trust in Natsu and support him. Anything else would just push him away, and that possibility was not one he was ready for.
Wendy came looking for him. "I healed him completely this time. His burns are gone."
She gazed at him with pride, "What you did back there, I know that was hard for you, but it was what he needed. He's doing better. You can go see him now."
"Wendy, that bond, what does it mean?"
"I think that's a question you should ask Natsu, the two of you have a lot to discuss." Wendy patted him on the shoulder before leading him back to Natsu's room.
She bid Natsu good night, taking Happy with her, and leaving a very nervous-looking Natsu alone with Gray.
Natsu took one look at Gray's outfit and snickered.
"Oh, shut up. It's not like I picked it." Gray grumbled in annoyance.
"Can you please take off the crop top at least? I can't take you seriously when you look like that." Natsu tried to contain his laughter but failed miserably.
Gray had to admit he would wear the outfit for a week if it could get Natsu to laugh like that. It had been too long since Gray had heard it.
"I suppose you weren't expecting any of this when you stayed over, huh?" Natsu chuckled nervously.
"A lot of things have happened that I wasn't expecting," Gray agreed, "But that's not important now. Are you feeling better?"
"Yeah, it was just a very vivid dream..." Natsu ran his fingers through his hair, "Thanks for leading me out of it."
"How did I do that, Natsu?" Gray looked into Natsu's eyes, expecting to see them closed off, but they had never seemed more earnest. "What is this bond that Wendy was talking about?"
"I was going to tell you, it's just always so complicated between us," Natsu sighed, unsure of how much to explain.
"We've had a connection to each other, a soul bond, since we first met in the woods all those years ago. It's how I could send you that message, and how you could reach out to me," Natsu smiled timidly at Gray.
"It's also how I knew you would turn up here someday, and despite how I screwed up on that first day, I am glad you're here."
"I'm so sorry for all the trouble I caused you today," Natsu said, "I never should've gotten hurt. I got careless cause I was near home."
"Can you tell me what attacked you?" Gray tried very hard not to make it sound like a demand. "Those were pretty nasty ice burns."
Natsu gazed at Gray for a few minutes, his thoughts a jumble of wants and needs and fears.
"I want to tell you, but I know how you're going to react."
"It was a dragon, wasn't it?" Gray felt the fear flood his system to where he shook as he realized that his worst nightmare had almost become a reality.
"Natsu, please tell me the truth, I want you to trust me."
"Don't you think I want to trust you? This dragon thing with you, it's the only thing keeping me from...," Natsu stopped himself as he realized what he'd almost said.
"From what?" Gray pushed this time. He was tired of all the hiding. All he wanted was for them to be together. With the ever-present threat of the war reaching Talos, Gray didn't want to waste any more time.
"From telling me how you feel about me? Do you really think I don't already know? Don't you think I feel the same way?"
"Did you know you call me every time you fall asleep in the field?" Gray caught Natsu's gaze and refused to let go of it, wanting Natsu to see him, to hear what he had to say and for once to take him seriously.
"You call me and then when you wake up, you don't even know why I'm there. How do you think that makes me feel? What should I think when everything you say or do when you're awake pushes me away?"
"I thought that might be happening," Natsu closed his eyes in frustration, and to give himself some time to think.
Their conversation had taken a different turn from what he'd intended. He counted to five and opened his eyes again, only to find Gray's midnight blue eyes still boring into him.
"It's the bond. It knows what I want. I can't seem to keep control over it when I'm asleep."
"What am I supposed to say to that?" Gray demanded. "Why are you trying to control it at all?"
All this time he'd thought Natsu hadn't been aware of his feelings. To find out that he not only knew about them but was holding them back pissed Gray off.
He was letting his anger take over, and that was dangerous. He needed to get himself under control before he said something he'd regret.
"If you want me, Natsu, I'm right here. I always have been." Gray softened his tone as much as he could, but he knew he still sounded angry.
"Of course I want you, you jackass. I always have," Natsu yelled, seeming angrier than Gray had ever seen him, "But what the hell am I supposed to do when you hate everything I am?"
"What are you talking about, Natsu?"
"I was raised by dragons, Gray. Those same creatures that you would destroy. They're all I know."
"Natsu, I—"
"Don't even bother to deny it, we both know it would be a lie." Natsu's anger had somehow evaporated, leaving a deep sorrow in its wake.
"Don't you see how futile this is?" Natsu entreated Gray to understand.
"It's not that easy for me, Natsu. It's not a switch I can just turn off. A dragon destroyed everything I knew and loved. It was brutal and cruel, and I was there. I saw it, and I can never forget it. I still have nightmares about it."
Gray tried his best to explain, and in baring his despair, he spoke the most honest words he'd ever uttered to Natsu or anyone else. "Ever since that day, I've lived in dread of when it will happen again."
"But I'm also seeing that there are some differences. I hear the dragon slayers talking about their dragons with love and affection. I've seen they can also care for humans like Happy just did for you."
"I'm trying, Natsu," Gray pleaded, "Doesn't that count for anything?"
They stared at each other in silence, trying to figure out where to go from there. Things had been said that could not be forgotten. Truths had been confessed, and feelings had been hurt.
"A renegade dragon slayer coming after Igneel, and Atlas not being able to get to him in time." Natsu shared, shattering the silence.
"What?"
Gray didn't know what Natsu was talking about. He would have been annoyed at what he felt was a blatant change of subject if it wasn't for the haunted look in Natsu's eyes. This was important to him.
"That's my biggest fear, it's what my nightmare was about. You told me yours, I thought it only fair you knew mine," Natsu attempted to smile at Gray, but it was too much to ask.
This seemingly endless night had been too much, and Natsu's every nerve was frayed. He sat down in the place where his bed used to be, thinking of how he'd have to replace it tomorrow.
If Atlas were here, he'd just conjure him a new one, and Igneel would make fun of him for incinerating yet another bed. Natsu could almost hear his father's deep rumbling laugh echoing in his room, and it hurt so much.
He tried to focus on how annoying it would be to lug a mattress up the mountain and any other number of mundane things. Trying to get back to some sense of normalcy, but it didn't work. He could still hear the laughter, but all he felt was a vast loneliness. And Natsu was so tired of feeling lonely.
Why was he doing this to himself? His love, his one desire, was there with him. Gray wanted him, and Natsu was hurting him by denying him, denying them.
His resolve weakened. He was so tired of feeling empty, of fighting the inevitable. What was even the point? They were meant to be together. Fate had already decreed it.
Gray must have gone to the main room while Natsu sat thinking, for he returned carrying pillows and blankets. He set about making them a nest of sorts as Natsu watched. Gray looked calmer as he organized the space, walking over to Natsu and offering him his hand as soon as he'd finished.
Natsu let himself be led to bed. He lay down, facing Gray.
"Thank you for trusting me with your fear," Gray reached out with his thumb, caressing Natsu's cheek, "I know that wasn't easy for you."
He looked at Gray gratefully. It felt so nice to be loved like this. He wanted nothing more than to love Gray, to share with him everything he was, but he still couldn't do that.
Gray was right, he was trying to get past his prejudice. Maybe someday he could even come to accept the fact that Natsu was as much dragon as he was human. Until then, Natsu would just share all his humanity with the man he loved.
Natsu reached out with his own thumb, imitating Gray's movements. He was rewarded with a smile that tore away any last doubt Natsu might have had.
"What you said earlier, it does count. It counts for a lot, Princess."
He removed his thumb from Gray's cheek and placed his hand behind Gray's neck, tugging him forward gently. Natsu searched for the lips he'd wanted to kiss for so long.
He wanted nothing more than to press them against his own. To claim the ice mage as his. Gray met him eagerly, and they shared their first kiss. It was awkward as neither of them was sure what to do, but Natsu still loved it. And he smiled as he felt a jolt of shared pleasure flood their bond.
"I'm sorry I made you wait so long," Natsu whispered as he shifted to lie on his back, something he hadn't been able to do since the attack.
Gray made himself comfortable, laying his head on Natsu's chest, and wrapping his body around the fire mage while Natsu ran his fingers through his hair.
They shared no more words that night, neither wanting to ruin the moment. They were both drained and content to just lay in each other's arms. Tomorrow would come soon enough.
A/N: I hope you like this chapter. It may or may not be what you've been waiting for.