Me : *abandoned books for 3 years due to life crisis leading up to forget Wattpad's password and depression that my psychiatrist doesn't know what to do with*
One funny Wattpad comment :
Me :
A potato flew around the room
Before you came in
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WW girl
(I lived, bitch)
Sometimes I wonder what's going on in the future. If I could fast forward time to see what's going on in my universe, if anything wild like... I don't know, World war 3 going on there that leads up to effect marvel cinematic universe at all.
Or if anything so fucked up effecting me in the first real world or not...
Probably just nothing. Meh, I'm such a paranoid bitch.
Previously on, I'm trapped here in the wrong world where I can't age, in love with dusted Peter Parker, Thor is a god of Fortnite, and Thanos died leaving us with depression.
"Thor... oh dear... Are you alright?" I grab his arm softly.
"Yes! I'm fine, why? Don't I look all right?"
"You look like Chris Hemsworth cosplaying Santa..." I whisper sadly. Even gods can become alcoholics.
"You look like melted ice cream." Rocket says. Now I can't unsee it.
Thor just laughs, what a body positivity King.
"So what's up? You just here for a hang, or what?"
"We need your help." Bruce says, "There might be a way to fix everything."
"What, like the cable? 'Cause, that's been driving me bananas for weeks." Thor burbs.
"Like Thanos."
Thor freezes as am I when that purple whore comes back to the discussion. I can sense the tension so I jump into the conversation.
"Thor, Thor? C'mere. Look at me." I sit him down before he can say anything to Bruce and things get ugly. I steal the bottle from his hand when he's tearing up.
"Don't take my beer..." He cries.
"Oh right, okay." I hand in back, oh Thor, what am I going to do with Thor.
I grab both of his hands tight. "Korg texted me saying that name is not allowed in here, so I'm sorry that Bruce said it."
"I chopped his head off." He sniffs.
"Yes! You did amazing sweetie, but you see, we need you, we're forming a team."
"To play Fortnite?"
"I am so going to steal your Xbox. No, we're forming the Avengers again, Tony built a time machine."
"Stark what now?"
"He pulled it off. What can I say?"
Bruce walks a step closer. "I think we could bring them back."
"Stop," Thor lets go of my hand, "Stop, okay? I know you think I'm down here wallowing in my own self-pity, waiting to be rescued and— and saved, but I'm fine, okay? We're fine aren't we?"
Korg says. "We good here mate."
"No, I have been a depressed potato for 5 years now and it is 5 years too long. So, this is what I'm going to do!"
"What are you doing?" Rocket asks me.
"Calling my dad-in-law."
"She's still calling him that, they never even married and Peter is not Stark's son and she's still calling him that." Rocket says to Bruce.
"Wait Peter is not Stark's son?" Thor asks.
[Yeah, kid?] Tony picks up.
"I need beers."
[Woah what have we been saying about drinking, your body is 19 even if you're 21, and booze can never really—]
"What's that? Thor, Tony says he stored us like 1000 beers on the ship!"
Thor seems interested.
[What? Why would I do that?]
"Thor if you hop on the ship right now we're gonna share them and be so drunk that we'd pass out!" I say excitedly and end the call, sorry Tony I had to make an excuse.
Thor leaves me with silence for a bit, then eyes teary like a kid, he asks.
"What kind?"
Thanks, Thor.
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Thor and I walk side by side, with his arm on my shoulder and my arm around his fluffy belly. We're wasted buddies wearing sunglasses walking into Stark facility, gotta look cute so they don't know you have crippling depression.
"You're drifting left!" Tony shows up behind us, "One side there, Lebowski."
He turns to look at us dancing, then panics and drops everything.
"What are you doing?!" He tries to slap beer out of my hand.
"I brought you Thor!" I say.
"I told you that you have to be a good role model for Morgan. Being a depressed potato? Totally fine because honestly me too, but being an alcoholic potato? It's a no-no." He takes my beer from me and gives it to Thor.
"Oh c'mon he can drink it and I can't?"
"He's thousand years old! Go stand in the corner and sober up."
Thor laughs at me and drinks my beer. I walk away to the other room and see Bruce, Scott, and Nebula doing stuff too advanced for my small brain.
I can't find a seat so I just kind of melt myself down and sit on the floor watching them.
"Jesus, did someone swim in beer?" Rhode walks in.
"Me." I say.
"You drank beer? I will tell Cassie." Scott joins the dad-wanting-a-sister-figure team.
I sigh and lie down on the floor. Started from the bottom, I'm at earth's core.
I listen to them but couldn't really pick up much, something about time-traveling suit... now that I'm sure Marvel is going the time travel way, what can I make out from a stan's perspective?
Movies are usually composed of three acts. The first one being the build-up, it is right now. The second one is usually the action then ending with a problem to be solved. The last act is lost and that problem is solved or at least settled.
If I am in act one of End Game, then what's to come is that they will go get the stones, but what about the last act? The problem, there isn't any right now.
The end credit of infinity war flashes before my drunken eyes.
Thanos will return.
"But Thor chopped Thanos's head off!" I shout.
Rhode who was talking about him going back in time to snap baby Thanos' neck turn to look at me.
"Say what?"
"Okay, here me out. When I was in another world, it was confirmed Thanos will return again."
"Well, he did. And Thor killed him." Bruce says.
"But Marvel won't hire Josh Brolin for a scene with him being a purple giant farmer and being killed easily for just a single film."
"Who's Josh Brolin?"
"Gotta talk with dad in law, you guys keep up with the time thing, you're doing amazing sweeties! Why do I keep saying that...?" I get up and walk somberly to find Tony.
"I don't think she's sane." Nebula says with a dead face.
"Be trapped in a movie franchise at their darkest plot written like me and you'll be insane too." I dance away from them.
Tony is working with Rocket and I join them.
"What did I say about you standing in the corner?" Tony asks.
"I will go back to the corner! Can you hear me out?"
"Yeah, sure if you promise never to touch beer again."
"I promise." I'm stealing your whiskey next.
"Okay, all ear."
"You still remember me dying right?" I ask. "I'm not supposed to be in this world so I kind of died."
"Yeah, I do. I spent a fortune on your funeral." He says sarcastically.
"So thankful for that. Anyway, when I was sent back to my world I get to see the whole thing, and I was unable to change anything, unfortunately. But at the end credit, it said Thanos will return."
Unlike the others, Tony listened and learned a lot from me whining about marvel cinematic universe. He knows what it is.
He walks us away from Rocket and sits down next to me.
"You see what I'm seeing?"
"Yeah..." He says concernedly, "We're going back to the past. And Thanos lived in the past."
"Exactly."
"What's your guess?"
"I'm sure we'll be able to pull off the time travel. So once we do it, some of us might meet him in the past, or something." I sigh. "God I wish I know some spoilers."
"Maybe it's better you're guessing."
"Why? I already have a small brain, if I want to change the outcome of the movie I'll need information."
"But last time (Y/n), you knew everything, but shit still happened, yes? So, maybe it's better you're figuring it out along the way."
"If I fail again I'll commit not feeling so good."
"Your sense of humor scares me." He smiles and taps my shoulder.
"'aight I'm going back to my corner."
"Nah, take a break. Go to my room and get a nap or something."
"Thanks... I'll try to be a better role model for Morgan."
"Just be you. I only don't want you to be wasted when we get Peter back that's all. He'll want to see you sober and happy." He smiles, and it comforts my exhausted little heart.
I walk my way to his room, then throw myself onto the bed. I groan out and start tearing up. I hate my eyeballs sometimes, these little shit decides to cry without my permission all the time.
"There there." Someone pats my back.
"Tony?" I look up, and then I'm blinded.
Everything turns white, the walls are gone and I am on a white bed in the middle of the sun. Where the hell am I?
I see dead pool cross legged in front of me.
I see dead pool.
"Oh holy mother of god," I say.
"Howdy. Nice to see you again, it's impressive you're still alive!"
"Pool pool. What are you doing here?"
What is going on? Did Disney made the contract with Fox and this is the scene in it or is he here just because he feels like it?!
Wade grabs out a paper, clears his throat, and starts speaking. "I am here from the wrong world managing department. To let you know a couple of things."
"Wrong world managing department?"
"This department is created for you and you only for being such a loyal Marvel fan. My sweet little bunny goofball." He says excitedly.
"There's nothing on the paper is it?" I ask.
"Yeah, it's just a blank paper." He throws it away, I do a pfff.
"So what are you doing here? I haven't seen you in so long!"
"I'm sad to inform you this, but I will be your guide instead of Stan from now on. And I know I can't compare myself to him at all but I'm here to help."
"Why...? What happened to stan in the other world?"
Deadpool stares back at me and looks away slowly. That silence tells me everything.
"Oh..." That's all I can say, and tear speaks for itself long enough. I try to hold it back, but at the moment where everything is lost, and you still manage you lose. I'm just speechless.
One sentence slips my lips. "Life takes a life of a hero from my world too, huh? Things can't get any worse."
"Wait until 2020."
"Why?"
"Even I don't know how to crack jokes about that. There's been an ongoing pandemic, called Covid, fucking, 19."
"The what now?"
"It's like Thanos germs that carry through coughs and it's... fucked up."
"I bet." I say.
"Anyway, want to save lives?" He cheers up and slaps his hand.
"Sure."
"What if the cost of doing it, is your life?" He asks.
"Yeah, sure."
"Holy hell, that was quick. I suggest you book a therapy session or something girly."
"My life is... not what I expected when I was younger. If I can save lives in exchange for my own, then there's nothing to hesitate about."
He looks at me impressively, I can tell that even with his mask on. "Now I understand why that book chose you to wish."
"...I don't though. I barely understand what you said about the pandemic and stuff."
"Mysteries! Okay, I gotta go now. People are fucking up the timelines left and right! Like me fixing my own timeline wasn't hard enough. I gotta go now sweet pea. Gotta finish all the Loki episodes on Disney plus."
"Wait, can't we talk a little more? Loki's alive? Can you spoil me End game please? What's a Disney plus? I know nothing!!!"
"The one and only thing you need to keep in mind is." He squeezes my face.
"That I am an idiot sandwich?"
"I was going to say that Ramsey joke!"
"Oopsie."
"And it is not that. Okay, listen. Snap out of it."
"What?"
He says it more time. "Snap. Out. Of. It."
Pool pool backs away and claps his hands. "Gotta go now, tight schedule! Zombies everywhere in what ifs. You got this, and I will be seeing you again!"
"I got nothing!"
"Babye wrong world baby."
"Pool pool!!"
The lights fade away and I find myself sitting alone in Tony's resting room. Tony is at the door.
"You wanna go swimming or something? You kept yelling pool-pool."
I sit there in confusion, yet...
I feel like when the time comes, I'll know exactly what to do.
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Neko : i'm sorry i stopped writing guys, here's me making up for it
Not finishing a book?
Life was rough with me, I'm so sorry.