All the good girls go to hell, 'cause even God herself has enemies. And once the water starts to rise and heaven is out of sight, she'll want the devil on her team.
flashback to 2 years ago
{A/N: Cursive parts are little flashbacks with dialogue to even earlier ago.}
"Dear Lord." I hopelessly looked up to the dark sky. "If you're out there, please help me."
Currently sitting on a bench near the woods, I was waiting for the time to pass by.
Okay, I know it sounds insane but sitting here, in the dark, with no one knowing where I was, was somehow comforting me. It felt like an escape from everything else while in reality I was far from it, everything around me was shattering in pieces and I couldn't do anything about it.
I couldn't but try to figure out where it all went wrong.
*.•*
It all had started years ago, when I was 2 years old. My family had moved in town and we got to live a few houses down Ryders home.
Throughout the years our families had bonded so good they were practically always hanging out with each other. This resulted in the fact that Ryder and I became inseparable too, even better: we became best friends.
Once we got in school our friendship seemed to only get stronger. Ryder and I were one and a half year apart so he was in a higher grade than me but we didn't think that mattered. Ryder always let everyone know that one day we'd marry, so all the boys better backed off. I had always wanted us to, I think I've always liked him in a different way than he did.
We befriended another pair of best-friends: Zarah and Cameron, Zarah was in my year and Cameron in Ryders. We got along really well and so it turned out we hung out almost every free minute we got.
Then one time when I was fifteen, Ryder came up to me asking me to catch up after school, to 'talk'.
*
It was a breezy summer afternoon as we walked along the tracks in 'our' woods.
The atmosphere between us had changed and it made me feel anxious, was he going to 'break off' our friendship or even worse: tell me he was getting a girlfriend?
Then Ryder finally started talking.
"Everly?" His voice sounded like he was nervous.
I looked at him. "Yeah?"
"I- I uh got to tell you something." He stopped walking and now looked right into my eyes.
"I figured." I calmly stated, inwardly freaking out.
He sighed and ran his fingers through his dark hair, his eyes flickering over my face, searching for something as he stepped closer.
"Ever, I like you." He spat out, now backing away.
What? He definitely can't be meaning he like-likes me, can he?
"Uh- you mean you-?"
"Yeah Ever, I've been hiding this for too long now. I had to tell you and I know we're both young and you're even younger than me. You always told me you didn't want to get into relationships early but I just wanted to ask you this. Please be my girlfriend?" Grabbing my shoulders he looked at me, his eyes pleading me to say it.
I backed away from his grasp, overwhelmed.
He's gotta be joking right now. He's pranking me, isn't he? I heard what boys in his year do.
"No- eh I-" I stuttered. "Ryder- I-I can't."
A shadow of hurt fell over his face. His eyes pained and his lips were tugged downwards.
*
And that is where it all went wrong.
He cut off our friendship because he was mad and hurt, he had expected me to either like him back or even wanting to continue still being friends. But I didn't want to. I broke his trust in me by almost laughing it off.
But I had ended our friendship because I was scared, I was too freaking scared of telling him how I felt. I couldn't get up the courage to tell him how I really thought about him.
It ended with a broken friendship in which we almost never spoke again. And it was my fault, as it could've been so much more.
Our parents wanted to know why we didn't hang out anymore, but we both kept our mouth shut so they could only speculate.
*.•*
All that happened two years ago now and all that is why I can't tell Ryder the things happening right now.
After we had broken off our friendship I had Zarah to fall back on, while Ryder had Cameron.
Zarah and I got close, but never as close as I had been with him.
Earlier this year, out of nowhere Ryder and Zarah had started dating. Zarah had kind of left me for him and I know for sure I had been seeing him throw smug looks at me whenever he picked her up after school and left me to walk. It was as if he wanted to say "See, now you're really on your own."
So it came that when I started getting weird messages, my first thought was to tell Ryder, only to be reminded of the fact we didn't talk anymore.
At first the messages were meaningless, talking about how I had been good at school or how I had good grades. That made me think that it was just someone texting the wrong number.
Later on, I felt that they knew me. The real me. They started asking me questions about how I liked the relationship between former best-friend and best friend now. It was getting kind of scary but I didn't know what to think of it, for all I knew it could've been someone fooling me.
Just a week ago the messages had been starting to threaten me, they wanted to make sure I didn't tell anyone about the texts (As if I had anyone to talk to.) but then suddenly they had been pointing towards Zarah. They found a sin in her and I was going to find out which one.
A few days ago I got this message: the last one I ever got.
unknown: The punishing will find place in a day or three, the question is, are you ready? You'll find out who I am soon enough. Don't try to tell anyone because it'll be too late.
Throwing my head back I sighed deeply.
I was stuck, if anything happened to Zarah, I was the one who knew all along. But I couldn't get a grip on her anymore, but I didn't really want to. She knew I liked Ryder for so long, even if it was long ago. I felt nothing but hurt.
But on the other side, the one behind the messages knows me, so I'll get punished for telling. Would I risk that?
*.•*
Today was the night of day three. I'd struggled with the question the guy had given me for every single one of those days. And finally I knew: I wasn't ready to find out, I needed to get someone to help, even if it had me at risk.
Knowing he would've known a solution I tried to call Ryder twice today but the calls didn't go through.
When I finally found Ryder—after half a day of searching—he was out of his mind because Zarah didn't show up for their date, I screamed. Suddenly I fell on my knees while I sobbed.
I had realized she probably was in real danger so I hastily told him all I knew, about the messages and the guy threatening me.
After my story he sat there for a moment. A deep frown between his brows as he started speaking.
He told me she had a meeting with her father today, after that she'd come to their date.
It wasn't until I realized her father had just been released from jail for abusing his kids, that his date of release perfectly added up with the date I started getting those messages.
*
And now I was sitting here, feeling horrible. If I had said anything, finding the hung up bodies of Zarah and her father, would've been avoided.
But I didn't say anything and now I'm running away from my responsibilities. I'm so insanely tired, I want to close my eyes and never open then again.
It definitely had been too late.
It's all my fault.
end of flashback.