6:29 p.m.
Messaging: ONETEEZ
mommySHw
Y'ALL ARE GOING TO A SLEEPOVER
I FEEL LIKE SUCH A PROUD MOM
Y'ALL ARE SO MATURE NOW
applebreaker
Aw, mom, you're so sweet 😊
TeddyBearYunho
Love ya, mom 😊
mommySHw
I HAVE THE SWEETEST KIDS EVER
princessmingki
I hate this so much
UWUyoungS
And then there's just that one rude kid
mommySHw
Mingi, son, be nice
princessmingki
I AM NOT YOUR SON SHEESH
mountainSAN
MINGI JUST STAHP
WE LOST
ACCEPT THAT
WE'RE GOING TO HELL
princessmingki
>:(
applebreaker
Don't say that
Legends say that if you keep saying that you're going to Hell, you will eventually go to Hell.
UWUyoungS
WAIT WHAT
princessmingki
I WAS JUST KIDDING—
mountainSAN
ID IDN'TM EANI T —
applebreaker
LOL Y'ALL FELL FOR IT
SKSKSKSKSKSKKS
I WAS JUST JOKING
UWUyoungS
JONGHO
princessmingki
WHAT THE HEC—
mountainSAN
I HATE YOU JONGHO
applebreaker
princessmingki
SEONGHWA HYUNG WHY DON'T YOU SAVE US FROM JONGHO
mommySHw
Jongho did nothing wrong, as far as I could tell
applebreaker
🤘🤪
princessmingki
I HATE YOU ALL
babyxion
Have you all left yet?
applebreaker
Nah
We're still waiting for Mingi's big fat butt to come out here
princessmingki
STOP BEING MEAN TO MY BUTT
IT DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG
applebreaker
Other than being yours, of course it didn't
princessmingki
...
StrongToedOlaf
Whatcha all riding on?
TeddyBearYunho
Hongjoong's van
mystiqueRAVN
Hongjoong can drive??
leaderhong
Do you seriously think I couldn't-
mommySHo
Okay, we'll all be waiting for you until you arrive!
applebreaker
Okay!
TeddyBearYunho
Bye y'all, we're leaving!
babyxion
Byeee
StrongToedOlaf
Be safe
leeduck
I want to say "go crash your van down into a ditch—"
mommySHo
GEONHAK
leeduck
Okay bye
☺
Meanwhile...
Messaging: Jung Wooyoung
elfinlia1661
JUNG WOOYOUNG
JUNG WOOYOUNG
JUNG FRICKING YOUNG
Jung Wooyoung
Sup fish-hater
elfinlia1661
You're really making me want to shoot a harpoon thru you, then cook you over a fire, eat you for dinner
But then ATINYs (especially Wooyoung-biased ATINYs) will kill me for doing so, so—
Jung Wooyoung
OMGEE THAT'S VERY GORY AND VIOLENT
oH AND THANK YOU ATINYS FOR SAVING ME FROM THIS MONSTROUS CREATURE HERE YOU CAN HAVE ALL MY UWUS 💞💞💞
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU
UWU—
elfinlia1661
WOOYOUNG STAHP IT UR KILLING THE ATINYS
Jung Wooyoung
ooPS
SORRYYY
Will you forgive me? 🥺
elfinlia1661
Wooyoung please just stop—
Ugh how did you become my first ever ATEEZ bias-wrecker you're a moron—
Jung Wooyoung
I waS YOUR WHAT
elfinlia1661
AND I OOP-
I JUST SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT MYSELF
elfinlia1661 deleted a message!
elfinlia1661
OKY BAI WOOYOUNG YOU'RE MESSING UP MY BRAIN
Jung Wooyoung
Wait lemme fix it then-
elfinlia1661
NO
elfinlia1661 left the chat immediately. As in left the chat she left the book and the country and the continent she's living in and the Earth and the Solar System altogether, and is now currently trying to get out of the Universe to escape from the one and only crazy Jung Wooyoung
Jung Wooyoung
Oh, okay...
WAIT YOU LEFT WITHOUT TELLING ME WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO TELL ME I'M SAD :(
ATINYs please call her back I need to know what she wanted to say
☺
12:34 p.m.
Messaging: ONETEEZ
mommySHo
Where are y'all
babyxion
It's been six hours
StrongToedOlaf
Yeah
leeduck
Did y'all actually drive into a ditch?
mommySHo
GEONHAK—
leeduck
I'M JUST SAYING—
leaderhong
FINALLY WE GOT SIGNAL
AND LEEDO YOU ANNOYIN BATH
BECAUS OF YOU WE ACTUALL DROVE INT A DITH
leeduck
Wait my prediction was correct?
leaderhong
You bath—
leeduck
AND WHY DID YOU CALL ME A BATH???
leaderhong
I—what?
Oops I meant batch
babyxion
YOU'RE CUSSING NOW HONGJOONG
leaderhong
BATCH ISN'T A CURSE WORD Y'ALL—
babyxion
Are you kidding me right now—
TeddyBearYunho
Hey
Can someone call for help?
We're sinking in the ditch...
mystiqueRAVN
Wait how do you sink in a ditch—
mountainSAN
Apparently
There's a quicksand pool at the bottom of the ditch
mommySHw
THERE'S A WHAT
HONGJOONG WHAT R U DOING TO THE KIDS—
leaderhong
BLAME MINGI FOR CONTINUOUSLY ELBOWING MY FACE WHILE TRYING TO BREAK AN APPLE
princessmingki
FOR THE RECORD JONGHO WAS CALLING ME A WEAK BACTH—
applebreaker
BECAUSE YOU ARE
AND IT'S BATCH YOU IDIOT
princessmingki
BLAME THE AUTOCORRECT FOR SLACKING OFF AND NOT DOING IT'S WORK
KANGYEOSANG
How did y'all drive into a ditch and sink in quicksand?
UWUyoungS
Wait what's happening—
leaderhong
So, full story
We were driving peacefully like a normal, loving family
Then Jongho out of nowhere summoned fifty apples
applebreaker
They were in my bag the entire time—
leaderhong
And he decided to break them in half
Yunho and San tried to join in and of course failed
Mingi tried
And won't stop elbowing me on the face
Which caused me to take the wrong direction
And drive all of us
Straight
Into
A
Ditch
Which
Apparently
Had
Quicksand
At the
Bottom.
mommySHw
OH NO R U ALL OKAY????
mountainSAN
Yeah I'm okay
mommySHw
I wasn't asking you
mountainSAN
You're so mean
But
I'm
UWUyoungS
hoW DID YOU—
mountainSAN
Magic
mommySHo
DO Y'ALL NEED HELP
TeddyBearYunho
Yes we do
princessmingki
WE'RE IN A DITCH OF COURSE WE NEED HELP
mommySHo
OKAY THEN
RAVN LET'S GO
mystiqueRAVN
wait WHY ME
CAN WE JUST LEAVE THEM THERE PLEASE
babyxion
RAVN HYUNG
StrongToedOlaf
YOUNGJO HYUNG—
mommySHo
NO THEY'RE THE KIDS' FRIENDS
YOU HAVE TO SAVE THEM
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE AMONG US WHO COULD DRIVE A CAR
mystiqueRAVN
OKAY FINE
BUT YOU ARE COMING WITH ME
mommySHo
FINE THEN
TeddyBearYunho
Now all we have to do is wait for another 6 hours
☺
Messaging: Jung Wooyoung
elfinlia1661
I have returned from Outer Space batch
Jung Wooyoung
Hey, that's my saying!
elfinlia1661
ThAt's YOUR SAYING???
YOU IDIOT
I MADE YOU SAY IT
Jung Wooyoung
Oh right
STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL
elfinlia1661
YOU'RE BREAKING THE FIFTH
Jung Wooyoung
THERE IS NO FIFTH WALL
Or is there??
elfinlia1661
IN MY DREAMS YOU DUMBO
Jung Wooyoung
DUMBO
I AM NOT AN ELEPHANT
elfinlia1661
TO ME YOU ARE
Jung Wooyoung
WELL THAT'S JUST MEAN
elfinlia1661
WELL IDC
Jung Wooyoung
WHERE'S THIS CONVERSATION GOING
elfinlia1661
DO YOU THINK I HAVE ANY IDEA
GO BACK TO THE GROUP CHAT
ADD HWANWOONG BACK
THE READERS ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT HIM IN THE LAST CHAPTER
AND SO DID I
Jung Wooyoung
OKAY FINE
Jung Wooyoung is offline!
elfinlia1661
I am so done with this batch
☺
4:18 p.m.
Messaging: ONETEEZ
TeddyBearYunho
We have returned from the ditch and arrived at the ONEUS house safe and sound
leeduck
Nobody cares
TeddyBearYunho
mommySHw
Oh, that's great Yunho!
TeddyBearYunho
But mom—
applebreaker
THEIR HOUSE IS LITERALLY A MANSION
mountainSAN
IT'S SO COOL THO MAYBE I'LL ACTUALLY ENJOY THIS SLEEPOVER
UWUyoungS
Show me show me show me
applebreaker
Nah my phone's camera broken
UWUyoungS
Are you sure?
You were taking selfies yesterday
applebreaker
WITH THE CAMERA THAT'S ON THE SAME SIDE WITH THE SCREEN
THE OTHER SIDE IS BROKEN
UWUyoungS
THEN TAKE A PICTURE FROM THAT SIDE
applebreaker
AND HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THAT
UWUyoungS
FLIP THE PHONE OVER
applebreaker
THAT IS THE MOST AWKWARD WAY TO TAKE A PICTURE
ALSO
APPARENTLY I BROKE THAT CAMERA TOO
UWUyoungS
WHAT THE HECK JUNGHOO—
princessmingki
THIS VERY STRANGE AND NONSENSICAL CONVERSATION IS THE MOST ENTERTAINING THING I HAVE SEEN FOR THE WHOLE DAY
mommySHo
HEY PUT YOUR PHONES DOWN AND DRAW
KANGYEOSANG
Draw???
mountainSAN
Seoho is making us and the rest of ONEUS do some drawings
mystiqueRAVN
For the record I didn't ask for this
leaderhong
IT'S LIKE I'M BACK IN KINDERGARTEN
KANGYEOSANG
Well you do have the IQ of a dumb baby child
leaderhong
Oh yeah?
Ask me a question
KANGYEOSANG
Okay what is the diameter of a circle if the height is 200 centimeters and it's width is 15 meters, but the said circle is also a cylinder in hiding and also has a base area of 539 square meters, as well as a cube and a triangle sticking out from it's buttholes that are both the size of elephants and weigh 283718 kilograms each, who both have two goggly eyes the size of 50 grams stuck on their faces?
leaderhong
...
Yeosang that's not even a legit Math question
KANGYEOSANG
So why did it appear on my Math test?
leaderhong
Wait what—
TeddyBearYunho
Yeosang is right it did show up
princessmingki
On all of our tests
mountainSAN
yeah
UWUyoungS
Yup
leaderhong
I am suing your Math teacher
mountainSAN
yes please Mr Kim Namjoon sings like a parrot...
mommySHw
Ei SAN BE NICE
mountainSAN
SORRY HYUNG
mommySHo
Okay we are officially going to start story time!
applebreaker
woohoo!
babyxion
yay
StrongToedOlaf
Yesss story time is fun!
princessmingki
This place is turning into a real kindergarten...
UWUyoungS
Y'all this sounds so fun I should've come...
princessmingki
YOU SHOULD'VE TAKEN MY PLACE
mommySHo
Now now stop complaining
I shall tell you the tale
Of the White Banshee Witch
princessmingki
waiT A SECOND THIS ISN'T A HORROR STORY IS IT???!?!!!
applebreaker
Ooo this sounds interesting!
UWUyoungS
Oof can you please tell us too
KANGYEOSANG
I hate to agree with Wooyoung, but yes, tell us too
leeduck
Maybe this might be the only interesting thing that happens today...
mommySHo
Okay y'all get ready
Once upon a time
leaderhong
Only boring stories start with Once Upon A Time
applebreaker
SHUT UP HONGJOONG
babyxion
SHUT UP HONGJOONG
AYYY
applebreaker
AYYYY
leaderhong
UGHH
mommySHo
LEMME CONTINUE
OnCe uPOn A tiMe—
UWUyoungS
WAIT
mommySHo
WHAT NOW
UWUyoungS
I FORGOT
I WAS SUPPOSED TO ADD HWANWOONG BACK
StrongToedOlaf
I forgot about Woong—
leeduck
DON'T YOU DARE ADD HIM BACK
UWUyoungS added tallwoong
leeduck
I hate you
UWUyoungS
The feelings mutual
tallwoong
Why am I back
Last time I checked
I was wanted for 1 million dollars
UWUyoungS
elfinlia1661 wants you to come back
tallwoong
Who the
KANGYEOSANG
his girlfriend
UWUyoungS
HA AS IF
mommySHo
SHUT UP YOU ALL
ONCE UPON A TIME
THERE WAS A WHITE GIRL
mountainSAN
So racist
mommySHo
The next person who interrupts me is going to get his head impaled
mountainSAN
ouch
Okay please continue
mommySHo
THANK YOU
So this white girl was named Ban
TeddyBearYunho
And she is named Ban because she loves banning people
More importantly
Banning people from singing
mommySHo
I AM GOING TO IMPALE YOUR HEAD—
Wait
HOW DO YOU KNOW THE STORY???
TeddyBearYunho
I heard the legend somewhere
mommySHo
Wow
Okay
Continuing the legend
So Ban hated singing
And she bans people from singing in her village
applebreaker
That's so sad 😢
babyxion
Yeah, I'm crying 😭😭😭
tallwoong
I thought this was going to be a horror story
mommySHo
Y'ALL SHUT UP RIGHT NOW OR I WILL IMPALE YOUR HEADS
Restarting story
Once upon the time
In the village of Melody
There was once a white girl
With bright white skin
And white hair
And white lips
And white eyes
Her name
Is Ban
The reason for this name
Is because she bans people to sing
In Melody
People love singing
But every time Ban appears
She puts a magic spell on the people of Ban
And stops them from singing
Permanently
For the rest of their lives
princessmingki
I'm freaking out right now...
StrongToedOlaf
Same, Mingi
mommySHo
Tired of unable to sing anymore
They went to the Great Wizard My Melody
And asked them to restore their singing voices
And give Ban a punishment
babyxion
I though My Melody was that girly pink bunny character from Sanrio
How is she a wizard??
mommySHo
Ask the legend
Okay
So the Great Wizard My Melody returned their singing voices
And cursed Ban
Ban is unable to talk anymore
And is only able to sing notes
So when she talks,
It's like she's singing a ghostly song
Like the cold wind passing thru the night
applebreaker
*shivers with intense fear*
mommySHo
Filled with anger
She tried to battle the Great Wizard My Melody
And ended up being banished into the Forest Of No Return
Legend says
That if you sing her song
The song she sings every time she is feeling lonely
You will end up summoning her
And she will haunt you
FOR THE REST OF YOUR CURSED LIVES
princessmingki
AHHHHHH
applebreaker
MINGI YOU SCREAMED RIGHT INTO MY EAR—
babyxion
Why say Ah in the group chat if you already screamed irl...
princessmingki
For drama
BUT SEOHO HYUNG
I WON'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP TONIGHT
mommySHo
That's your punishment for disowning your mother 😏
princessmingki
UGH
mommySHw
You gotta teach me how to threaten my kids
mommySHo
I will 👌🏻
applebreaker
*yawns* I feel sleepy, can we go to bed now
KANGYEOSANG
The 'yawn' was unnecessary
applebreaker
OH SHUT UP
mommySHo
Yes you can all go to bed now
UWUyoungS
Wait just a question about the legend
Why is she called the White Banshee Witch
mommySHo
She's white
She's a she
And her name is Ban
And she's a witch
So
White
Ban
She
Witch
UWUyoungS
...
princessmingki
AHHHRGG I WON'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP TONIGHT
leeduck
Sleep outside on the streets then
It really helps
StrongToedOlaf
GEONHAK WHAT THE
leeduck
i WAs jOkIng SHEesH—
mommySHo
OKAY GO TO BED ALL OF YOU
RIGHT NOW
applebreaker
I'll sleep in Dongju's room!
TeddyBearYunho
I'll sleep in Keonhee's!
mountainSAN
I'll take Hwanwoong's!
tallwoong
GET OUT OF HERE YOU BATCHDJDJJ—
princessmingki
And I guess I'll be sleeping in the streets
leaderhong
That's good cuz I'm taking over Geonhak's room
leeduck
HEY GET OUT OF HERE
mommySHw
Okay
Have a good night's sleep kiddos
applebreaker
Night mom
mountainSAN
Night~~~
StrongToedOlaf
Sweet dreams~~~
princessmingki
And I'm going to have nightmares tonight
mommySHw
SHUT UP AND SLEEP
princessmingki
I HATE YOU ALL
I wasted most of my phone battery writing this oops