*Author's Note: Any time you see a title that looks like this one ^^, it indicates that it's from Ari's P.O.V.
As an extra way to tell, if it has a coffee mug and a cellphone, it's Ari.
Sometimes there may be some repeated material from a previous chapter but not all the time.
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Thanks!
Ari's P.O.V
The Day of the Game
I can't believe what's happening right now. Those fucking douche bags really tackled me. Me! I was so close! There is no way on God's green earth that those two are regular human beings.
Shit, my leg, ankle, and back hurt like hell. Can I just lie here on the ground to bask in the earthy smell of grass and my failure?
"Son, are you alright? You went down pretty hard. Do I need to get the stretcher?" One of the refs asks when he runs up to me on the field.
"Nah, I'm ok," I say getting up with the help of a couple of my teammates.
Except standing up and seeing those two dbags sniggling makes my blood boil.
I ignore the pain shooting from my ankle to my leg and and into my lower back, and get up to make my way over to the two freaks.
"Man, what the hell was that?!" I yell at them both after shoving one.
I'm ready to fight! Who cares about the fact that I just got hurt and about scouts watching, I'm about to hurt them and my team will back me up.
However, I don't get my fist reared back very far before getting stopped by the ref and my coach telling me I'm benched for the rest of the game.
This is fuckin' ridiculous. There are scouts here tonight watching me play! I can't be benched for the rest of the game! How does Coach expect them to see my potential if I'm not even playing?!
Man, fuck that. I'm going to the locker room.
After making my way to the locker room and punching a few lockers like they were the ones who upset me, I sit down to stew in my pain and frustration.
A few minutes later I feel the presence of someone and feel a hand on my shoulder along with hearing a familiar comforting voice.
"You ok dude?"
Charlie, my best friend. My "A1 since day 1". Charlie really has been my shoulder to lean on whenever I needed one. I've known him since elementary school and we've always been good friends but we became even closer last year.
He's a good person. He's understanding and doesn't tell me I'm being ridiculous when I get mad about stuff like this.
"Man, we all know those two have got to be pumped up on some kind of steroids but because their parents are rich, they pay the coach to stay quiet about it. You're lucky you got away with just a limp," Charlie says to me after I mention those freaks of nature.
He's right. I can be hotheaded, stubborn, and act without thinking. I shouldn't have tried to fight them. I probably embarrassed myself in front of those scouts and made my team look even worse. They aren't going to want someone who fights on the field when he gets knocked down.
Charlie takes a seat next to me on the bench and pats my leg knowingly, a gesture of understanding the way I'm currently feeling.
"How's it feeling? You want me to get you an icy-hot pack for the pain?" He asks me.
I nod my head and wait as my friend finds and brings the medicated pack for me.
"Charlie, you just don't understand how disappointed I am. There are scouts here today! This game was supposed to be my ticket to a full ride scholarship to UCLA! I mean, it's not like my parents couldn't pay for my college, but I didn't want to have to burden them with my student loans. Plus, they always taught my siblings and me to do things for ourselves and not expect a handout from everyone," I say starting to panic, sweat forming on my brow, my hands becoming hot, and my heart beginning to race wildly.
"Ari, I doubt the scouts were going to give you a scholarship solely based on you making that touchdown. Calm down. Don't panic," Charlie says looking me in the face, "And if they were then those aren't the teams you want to play for or the coaches you want.
Besides, you're good at a lot of other things! You're a great guy and really smart too. You'll have no problem getting other scholarships for college. We're tenth graders so we still have time. Don't stress out about it and just focus on trying to relax your body."
"I am a great guy aren't I," I say jokingly.
"The greatest," he smiles softly.
Is it starting to get warm in here or that just me? Fuck, my head is starting to spin.
When did the atmosphere of the room become like this? I can't even describe what it's like, but it feels charged? Like little bolts of electricity are zooming around the locker room charging everything in their path. It was weird.
And why did I not mind when Charlie put his hand on my leg and left it there?? Wait, when did he do that??
Stop it Ari, this is your best friend. Don't think like that about him. He's just comforting you and trying to cheer you up, you idiot. Nothing more. This is just what best friends do.
Maybe it's excitement from the game?
Is he leaning in towards me? Why is he doing that? Is it something on my face? He's getting awfully close. Why am I suddenly waiting with anticipation? Why am I not moving away from him?! Charlie, what are you...
Charlie places his lips on mine and it completely throws me off. I jerk back at the sudden contact of my friend's lips on me.
Did, did that just happen?
Did Charlie really just kiss me?! I can't help but stare at him wide eyed like I just watched someone crash their car on the interstate in front of me.
"Ari, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have done that. I, I don't know what came over me man," Charlie says stuttering.
Even though he's sitting here saying nothing more, I can tell he's contemplating whether or not he should tell me the truth.
Charlie has been my friend for years. I can tell when he's thinking hard on a decision and when he's about to lie or not. His left eye usually twitches slightly.
Is he about to try and play this off like a joke? Like he really didn't mean to kiss me?
"Charlie, uh, is there something I should know?" I ask.
Since when was Charlie into dudes?! Why has he never told me?! Since when was Charlie into me?! Maybe this was one of those weird 'in the moment' things like you see in movies.
However....
For some odd reason, I don't think I minded him kissing me. Is that weird? His lips were rough from being slightly chapped, which is to be expected. Even though his lips weren't perfect, kissing him was definitely better than kissing Blaire.
What the hell is happening right now?!?!
Why am I thinking like this and why is my heart running out of control?? Am I becoming asthmatic? Because I'm totally losing my breath.
What is the meaning of this excitement and euphoria that I'm feeling and why do I suddenly want him to kiss me again??
AHHHH!!!
*2009:
(9th grade year)*
So there's this diner in the city.
Callahan's. It's basically THE spot for all of the teens in Sun City, or at least in this part of the city.
It's this 80s themed place where the decor looks like it barfed up Saved By The Bell or something. They mostly serve your "all American" menu items like burgers, pizzas, and decked out hot dogs, cokes, slushies, and an abundant array of milkshakes to choose from.
Anyway.
I was there after our first game win of the season hanging out with some of my other football teammates, some cheerleaders, Blaire (my fake girlfriend that no one knows is not actually my girlfriend), and Charlie.
The vibe was good and the mood was even better. My friends and I were having a great time eating, reminiscing about the highlights of the game, and just laughing over lame jokes.
"SPEECH, SPEECH, SPEECH, SPEECH!" My friends prompted me while banging their fists on the diner table causing the plates and silverware to come alive and jump.
I laugh, shaking my head in protest. Speeches were not my strong suit.
"Oh come on man! You scored that winning touchdown we needed! You're the first ninth grader Coach has put on the field. Most of us get benched until we're more "seasoned" as he says," Charlie commends.
"He's right babe! You totally saved the team's ass tonight! You should be proud of that," Blaire says kissing my cheek lightly.
I playfully roll my eyes but concede, "Fine, fine, if the people want it."
My friends cheer and whistle in excitement.
"Um," I start out nervously. I hang my arm around Blaire's petite shoulders and she scoots in closer, "We definitely couldn't have won that game without each other. It was a combined effort.
Sure, I may have been the last one with the ball in their hands, but we all touched it at some point and contributed to our win. We also couldn't have won the game without the support of the cheerleaders and the guys on the sideline and the fans, so cheers to us all on a great win! We're gonna have a great season!"
The group of us clinked our cups and high fived each other, the excited chatter rising again.
Blaire tugged on the front of my letterman jacket to pull the side of my face closer to her so she could kiss my cheek again.
"KISS, KISS, KISS, KISS!!" The group started once more.
I could feel my face turning red from embarrassment.
I glanced over at Charlie who was sitting across the table from me not joining in on the jeering. Instead he seemed slightly annoyed.
Before I knew it, Blaire turned my face towards her and planted an involved kiss on my lips. My eyes widened at the sudden contact and I involuntarily glanced at Charlie again, this time his face appeared sad with a longing expression that seemed to disappear as quickly as it was there.
I don't know why but a pang of foreign upset dropped into the pit of my stomach like a rock at the bottom of a mountain. Like I had somehow disappointed my best friend.
But at the same time a strange warmth arose in my cheeks and a flutter in my chest.
I'm not really sure why I felt this way or why he looked at me like that but I know it suddenly made me not want to have Blaire on me.
I pulled back from her embrace and feigned a smile at her which she seemed to buy.
I don't know what just happened within those last few seconds or what it means, but I know for now I'm going to ignore it.
*Present times 2010:
In the locker room*
"I. Uh, I kinda have feelings for you man. I've never told you, but I'm gay. Only a few of the other guys know, but I never had the courage to tell you even though we're best friends and I know you're dating Blaire," Charlie started saying.
I suddenly felt an Olympic gymnastics worthy flip in my stomach that seemed to spread throughout my entire body; jogging my memory of the time I caught Charlie appearing upset when Blaire kissed me and my own chest fluttering at the thought of his jealousy.
I suddenly have this overwhelming feeling of wanting to be kissed by him again, and after hearing him confess his feelings towards me that feeling only grew.
In fact, can he just shut up?
Instead of allowing Charlie to finish what he was saying, I take the initiative and kiss him back. His lips mold to mine and my want for him only grew from there.
I suddenly feel his tongue on my bottom lip and I hesitantly part them granting him access.
Well, I'm currently French-kissing my male best friend. This is a bit odd, but kind of enjoyable.
Fuck. I'm enjoying this. Does this mean I'm gay???
After a few more seconds, I pull away feeling the need to say something to fill the silence and cease the ringing in my ears.
"Wow, uh, that was...uh," I stumble, flushed.
"Yeah. Considering I'm the one with a crush on you I think it was one of the greatest moments of my life," Charlie laughs.
My ears and cheeks are currently burning like the lasagna my dad tried to cook last week. Crap, am I blushing?!
Charlie has a crush on me???
Is it weird that hearing that kind of makes me excited? A bit aroused and happy even?
I can't believe my best friend has a crush on me. I feel like a giddy school girl.
"Hey man, if you regret it, it's ok. We were kinda having a moment. You know I won't tell anyone though. The secret will die with me if you want," he says suddenly nervous while uncomfortably rubbing his arm; mistaking my silence for upset.
"That's the thing Charlie. I—I don't think I regret it. I think I kind of liked it. And wouldn't mind doing it again."
I surprise myself by leaning forward again to steal another kiss. I don't believe I regret kissing him. I think I kind of like this and I think I'm gradually going to begin craving it.
We both pull away from each other after hearing the gleeful screams and cheers coming from outside of the locker room signaling the end of the game.
I'm beginning to miss the warmth that the two of us shared between us already.
"Sounds like the game is over," I say coming back to reality.
"Yeah, we'd better get back out there and see who won. It was already a close game when you came storming in here."
Charlie helps me up from where we had been sitting and allows me to lean on him while we make our way towards the field.
Somehow, I had forgotten that I was injured in the first place.
We make our way outside to see people wildly jumping around in the bleachers, screaming, hugging each other, and waving school flags around; our team colors streamers falling from the sky like debris.
I notice Blaire running towards me and Charlie. Her jet-black perfectly sleek hair bouncing behind her in a high ponytail with a ribbon in our school colors attached to it. She looks like the perfect cheerleader that any athlete would want to date. We're practically the Gabriella Montez and Troy Bolton of our school, football edition.
Maybe we should spontaneously break out in song and dance?
"Babe we won! Davion scored the winning touchdown! And guess what else??" Blaire says excitedly, still bouncing.
"What?" I smile.
I'm proud that my brothers won the game without me. I'm not saying that it wouldn't have been possible, but I'm a strong player. Vital even. But the entire team is strong. Like I said, we're like brothers and we're stronger together. Our school has some of the best football players in the entire state. Guys get recruited for college teams from our school all the time.
"Coach Bradley says those scouts want to talk to you!" Blaire says hugging and kissing me on the lips.
In the excitement, I wrap her in my arms and kiss her back like second nature.
After just kissing Charlie, kissing her is strange, it's almost foreign to kiss her again. But I have to keep up appearances. If I'm seen not kissing my "girlfriend" after great news and a winning game, people will start to suspect.
Blaire starts to excitedly drag me by the forearm over to Coach, leaving Charlie behind. I look back and see him smiling a crooked, slightly sad smile. I wanted to stay with him to celebrate our combined effort win, but I also wanted to go talk to my coach.
I don't know what any of this means for me. Am I gay now? Am I straight? Am I simply curious, or was me kissing Charlie just my getting caught up in the moment?
The whirlwind of thoughts quickly ran through my mind as I was walking away from what was one of the biggest things to happen in my life so far.
Where I go from here, I have no fuckin' clue.