I'm shocked. I mean I knew Ski liked me but I'm still shocked. I don't even know if I like him! I mean I guess I do a bit. But what?!?! I feel a force push Ski away from me and I instantly know it's Jahseh. God fuck.
"What the fuck are you doing?!" Ski shouts, getting up close to him. Jahsehs nose flares as he breathes heavily. He pushes his chest out and pushes Ski again. He's angry angry.
"What are you doing nigga!?" He shouts. "Get the fuck off her."
"Why the fuck you act like I'm raping her chill out damn." Ski shakes his head and backs up a bit.
"Cause she ain't yours nigga!"
"Jahseh calm down." I grab onto his arm but he mean mugs me and pushes me off.
"Why the FUCK are you kissing him?!" He yells at me. I back up a bit and look away.
"Yo Jah calm down dude." Isiah says, walking over. All the boys come over and the girls just sit back kinda watching.
"Fucking answer!" He turns his attention to me and gets up in my face.
"Uh what the fuck?" I panic. What the fuck have I done wrong? I give Isiah a look signalling for help. He grabs onto Jahsehs shoulder but Jahseh moves away.
"Don't touch me Isiah I don't wanna hurt you." He mutters. In a quick and swift motion, Jahseh grabs me and throws me over his shoulder, walking away.
"Jahseh put me down!" I yell, kicking and punching his back. He ignores my yells and continues until we're in some random bedroom. He throws me onto the bed roughly then starts to pace.
"What the fuck was that?" He asks, still pacing.
"I don't know!"
"Why the fuck are you kissing him?"
"Oh my god!" I shout, angrily. "Why do you care?"
"Because I can!" He shouts back. He finally stops pacing and looks at me. His eyes look dark. They always do when he's mad.
"Then stop." I say simply. He looks away and shakes his head.
"That's my best friend out there." He mumbles. I stay quiet so he continues. "Out of all the fucking guys you could've chosen. You picked my best friend."
I don't know what to say. Because he's right.
"I'm sorry." I say quietly. I look down and soon hear the door slam. He left. I rush out of the room and out to the driveway but he's already pulling out. I run back inside and head to the backyard quickly. "London! Give me your keys!" I ask as I run up to her.
"Why?" She asks hesitantly.
"Please!" I whine. She senses the urgency in my voice and grabs her purse, digging around. "I'm so so sorry guys." I say to everyone.
"It's cool." They all chuckle.
"I'm sorry Ski. I'll text you, okay?" He nods at me and London finally hands me her keys. "Thank you." I kiss her cheek and run back out to her car.
Once I get to jahsehs I see his car in the driveway. I knew he'd be here. I run inside and up to his room, barging in. He looks at me from his bed with a confused face.
"What are you doing?" He asks.
"You." I point at him and he gives me a weird look. "You're fucked up... it's not about Ski is it. Seventy-five percent of why you're pissed has nothing to do with Ski. Am I right?"
"What are you talking about Kenna?" He shakes his head like he's tired.
"Why?" I ask seriously.
"Why what?"
"Why did you leave me and then come back into my life and act like nothing happened? Why do you act like I'm still yours. Like your property? Why do you get to get mad when I move on even though you're the one that left me?" I ask. My body is hot as hell but I'm pale. I feel sick.
"I don't kno-" Jahseh starts but I cut him.
"Tell me fucking why?!" I yell. He doesn't answer. "Now Jahseh."
"Because I still fucking love you and I never stopped." Jahseh says quietly. Tears form in my eyes and I feel that familiar lump in the back of my throat. I nod my head slowly, not really knowing what to say.
Instead of answering, I turn around and leave. Tears blur my eyes as I'm driving but I don't care, I just want to be alone. If Jahseh loved me why would he leave me?
Flashback
I nod my head and smile as Jahseh plays one of his new songs. He smiles at me and shakes his head.
"You like it?" He asks.
"Of course." I smile. He smiles back and looks to his computer, pausing the music.
"I wanna ask you something." He comes back over to his bed and sits against the headboard, staring at me.
"What's up?" I squint at him curiously.
"You and pipe. What's up there?"
"Oh god." I chuckle. "I don't know. He asked me to be his girlfriend but I don't know if I really want to." I fiddle with the rings on my fingers and look down. Of course I'm unsure if I wanna be pipes. Why? Because I have feelings for Jahseh. Still? Yeah.
"Why not?" Jahseh scoots a bit closer and pulls my hand into his, examining my rings.
"I don't know." I shrug. Yeah I'm most definitely not going to tell him why. I'm not about to make a fool of myself.
"Don't."
"Don't What?" I ask.
"Don't be his girlfriend." Jahseh answers simply.
"Why not?"
"Just Don't Kenna. Please?" He searches my eyes but I don't show any emotions.
"Jahseh you can't jut ask that without a valid reason." I sigh. He looks away, towards the window for a few seconds before he speaks.
"You can't be his... because I'll lose you."
"You won't lose me. I promise."
"It's not like that. McKenna?" Jahseh shakes his head and locks eyes with me.
"Yeah?" I ask, giving him a weird look. He groans and hides his face in his hands for a few seconds then, looks back at me.
"I'm in lov-"
"Jahseh fucking Onfroy!" Some girl screeches, cutting him off. She bursts through the door and walks right over to Jahseh, mean mugging him. "Your dumb ass was supposed to meet me TWO HOURS AGO!"
"Aight I'm out." I chuckle. I quickly get up and slip out the door while the girl continues yelling. I make my way out of jahsehs house and start walking down the street.
"Hey Kenna!" A familiar voice yells behind me. I turn around to see Pipe jogging towards me. I stop and smile. He pulls me into a small hug once he reaches me.
"Hi." I chuckle.
"What's up?" He smiles as we continue walking.
"Just walking. How bout you?"
"Just got done helping my ma." Pipe answers.
"Aw that's sweet." I tease.
"Whatever." He laughs. "So..."
"Sooo."
"Have you thought about it?" He stares at me for a second before looking back to the sidewalk.
"Yeah actually." I chuckle.
"And?" He smiles hopefully at me.
"Yeah. I'll be your girlfriend." Something at the back of my head tells me I'm making a mistake but, I ignore it. I guess I like Pipe. So why not?
"Ah shit!" He laughs, stopping and pulling me into a hug. "Thank you."
I've always wondered what would've happened if I had just told Jahseh about my feelings. From that moment on, in my head I always compared Pipe to Jahseh. I expected Pipe to do certain things because Jahseh had done them. After a while I guess I just learnt to live with it. If I couldn't have Jahseh, Pipe would be fine.
And eventually my feelings for Jahseh vanished. They vanished from my head but, never from my heart.