Warning: SMUT, language, body image
Most high schoolers can't wait for summer. Me? I dreaded it.
Summer consisted of campouts, lake trips, and pool parties. Speaking of pool parties, I was currently procrastinating getting ready for the biggest one. It was Abigail Hanson's Summer Kickoff party. She had it every year to "start the summer off right" as she so humbly puts it every time she invites someone.
I looked in the mirror at the two-piece swimsuit I was wearing. It was kind of like a bikini, but has a little more fabric, covering more skin. When I saw the way I looked, I hated it.
I know. How cliché. A girl not liking what she saw when she looked in the mirror. But when you're constantly around athletic guys and model ready girls, you tend to see every little imperfection.
Although I was on the cheerleading team, I wasn't the skinniest girl. I mainly made the team because I was good at tumbling. The only reason I really fit in with the other cheerleaders is because of my relationship with the football team's kicker, Noah Centineo.
Noah and I have been friends since we were little. I was in gymnastics and he was in football. Once we got to middle school, he made the football team and convinced me to try out for the cheerleading squad so I could go to all his games.
I didn't have this problem in middle school. I felt comfortable on the team. It wasn't until I made the team in high school that I started to feel self-conscious around the girls.
Noah tried to tell me it was all in my head, but I saw the way they looked at me. I was just the team's tumbler. I was the only one on the team that could do more than a back handspring or a simple flip.
I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard my phone ringing. "Hello?"
"Hey, babe." Noah greeted. It's normal for him to call me that. It was just something we called each other. There was never anything behind it.
At least to him. Every time he called me babe it made my heart beat faster. I loved it when he called me babe or any of the other nicknames he has for me.
"Y/N? Hello? You there?"
"Yeah, sorry." I laughed awkwardly. "Just zoned out. What's up?"
"I asked if you were going to Abigail's party?"
"I guess," I sighed. "I don't really have a choice. She's on the team and it's kind of expected that we all go."
"Y/N," he sighed, cutting me off. "You do have a choice. I keep trying to tell you. Just because the other cheerleaders are going somewhere, doesn't mean you have to go too."
"Yeah, well," I shrugged even though he couldn't see me. "At least you'll be there with me. Right?"
"Yep," he said, popping the "p". "I was calling to make sure you were coming so I wasn't left alone with my team."
"You love the guys."
"Yeah," he sighed. "It's just, sometimes they go too far with their jokes. Especially at this party. They look at all the cheerleaders and rate them."
"Really?" I asked, my voice getting caught in my throat. My eyes instantly shifted back to my reflection.
"Don't worry, Y/N." He said, gently. "I have threatened them so many times the second they say your name, they know not to rate you. The first and only time a guy did that, I kicked his ass. I got your back."
"Thanks, Noah."
That should've made me feel better, but it didn't. The guys may not say things about me or rate me in front of Noah, but they most likely still do when he isn't around.
"I'll see you at the party, okay?"
"Yeah, see you there." I sighed.
* * * * *
I walked into the house and saw that everyone was outside. I hesitated before deciding to stay inside. While everyone swam outside and had fun, I stayed inside mingling with people when they walked into the kitchen.
"Hey, there you are." I turned around to see Noah walking inside. "Where have you been? I thought we were going to stick together during the party, but you never came outside."
"Yeah," I stuttered. "I mean. . . I was outside for a bit but started to get a little lightheaded. So, I came inside to cool off." I stopped talking when I noticed the way he was looking at me. It was like he could see right through my act.
He was my best friend so that shouldn't surprise me.
I watched him sigh as he walked over, grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the kitchen. We passed a few people we knew, but Noah didn't even stop to say hi as he led me upstairs.
"Noah, everyone is outside. I don't think we're supposed to be up here." I said as we finally stopped in the middle of the hallway.
"I don't care," he said turning around. "Why didn't you come outside when you got here?"
"I told you, I went outside but got. . ."
"Lightheaded so you went back inside," he interrupted, finishing my lie for me. "Cut the bullshit, Y/N. I know you're lying. I have been watching the back door since I got here. Jack and Oliver even made jokes about it. No more lies. Why didn't you come outside with everyone?"
"I was talking to a few people inside," I shrugged off. He sent me a look, knowing I was still not telling him the truth. Suddenly, his eyes softened and his lips dropped into a frown.
"Y/N," he sighed, sounding slightly disappointed with me. "You weren't ever planning on coming outside, were you?"
I looked away, shaking my head no. I heard him sigh again as he stepped closer to me. I looked at him when I felt him grab my hands.
"Why not?" He asked gently.
"I just," I started to explain, my voice shaky. Angry tears built up as I couldn't take the weight of all my insecurities anymore. "I was putting off the stares, the whispers, the judging. I was trying to avoid everyone looking at me and being as disgusted as I am every time I look in the mirror."
"Okay, stop," Noah said harshly, cutting me off. "It makes me so mad when I hear you talk down about yourself. I just want you to see yourself the way I see you."
"And how do you see me?"
Noah smiled, not hesitating to respond as he took a step closer to me. "I see my amazing best friend. She's smart. She's funny. She's talented. She's beautiful. She's the nicest girl you will ever meet. She makes my life better. I don't know what I would do without her."
He stopped, his smile dropping when he saw the look on my face. "You don't believe me," he said slowly.
"How can I?" I shrugged, my voice breaking. "I am constantly around girls ten times prettier than me and guys who see right through me. I'm too ugly for the girls I'm around and too unlovable for the guys we're both around."
"If you were ugly and unlovable, would I do this?" He asked harshly. I gasped as he grabbed my face and roughly pressed his lips to mine. Our lips moved in sync as he pushed me against the wall.
He reached down and grabbed my hands, our lips still moving in sync as he made me wrap my arms around his neck. I gasped into the kiss as his hands gripped my hips, pulling them closer to his.
When neither one of us could breathe, we slowly pulled apart and looked into each other's eyes. "What was that?" I whispered.
"It was me trying to show you the truth about yourself."
"What truth?" I stuttered.
"The truth that you are beautiful. The truth that you mean more to me than you could ever know. The truth about how my team rated you the first and only time I let them."
My heart dropped at his words. "What. . ." I said slowly, not able to finish my thought.
Noah sighed before explaining, "I tell you I beat the guy up, but the truth is I didn't need to. I did threaten them with what I would do if they ever did it again. The thing the guy said about you and all the other guys agreed with was you were the only girl on the team who was real."
"What do you mean?" I asked slowly.
"You're the only one who isn't the stereotypical cheerleader. You're smart, you're nice to everyone, you're generous. We all agreed that the girls on your team could sometimes be fake. Not you. You were real. They talked about how you didn't try too hard with your clothes or your makeup, but you didn't have to. The guys on my team say you are the only girl who has true beauty and doesn't flaunt it."
"Stop!" I said louder than I meant to. I walked passed him and ran my fingers through my hair. "None of that is true. You're only saying that because you're my best friend and you have to. I know that you're team rates me when you're not around. Sure, I may not be fake like other girls on the team, but I'm definitely not beautiful."
"I'm not just saying it because I have to," he cut me off, my back still to him.
"Why else would you be saying it?" I scoffed.
"Because I'm in love with you!"
I froze. I slowly turned around, my eyes meeting his soft ones. He had a smile on his face and the way he was looking at me immediately made me blush.
He stepped closer to me and reached up, cupping my cheek in his hand. "I've been in love with you since you fell off your bike when we were little. You hugged me and cried into my chest. That day, I promised that I would always protect you. Somewhere along the way, that turned into love. I am completely head over heels in love with you, Y/F/N Y/L/N. The only reason the guys on my team stay away from you is because they know how I feel about you. But if I didn't threaten them to stay away from you? Trust me, they'd be tripping over each other to get to you. They always tease me for not manning up and telling you the truth. Saying that if I didn't tell you how I feel, one of them would take you away from me. So, I am now. I love you, Y/N."
I was in shock from his confession, I couldn't speak. Even if I could, I'm not sure I would know what to say. So, I did the next best thing.
I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his. He instantly started kissing me back as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer.
I pulled away and leaned my forehead against his as I caught my breath. I smiled when he titled his head, making our noses rub together. I took a shaky breath, still trying to wrap my head around Noah's confession.
I pulled away and looked up at a nervous Noah. "For the love of. . . Please say something," he laughed.
I covered his mouth with my hand and smiled. "I love you too, you idiot."
I felt him smile under my hand. He reached up and pulled my hand away from his mouth. Still holding my hand, he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he backed us up.
I gasped into the kiss when my back hit the wall. Our lips moved in sync as his hands got lower and lower on my back. Suddenly, he pulled away, both of us breathing hard.
I bit my bottom lip as he smirked at me, grabbed my hand and started leading me down the hallway. My breath got caught in my throat when I realized he was leading me to one of the guest bedrooms.
Noah opened a bedroom door and stepped inside, pulling me with him. He closed the door and leaned against it with a smirk that made my cheeks burn. "What?" I asked, my voice getting stuck in my throat.
"Take it off."
I opened and closed my mouth, completely speechless. "Take what off?" I asked slowly.
His eyes glanced down at my cover-up before looking back up at me. "Everything."
"What?" I gasped, laughing awkwardly. I turned around, nervously running my fingers through my hair. My eyes watered as I remembered the ugly girl in the mirror this morning.
I gasped when I felt Noah walking up behind me. "You still don't believe me," he whispered, his fingers dancing up and down my bare arms. He gently grabbed my shoulders and slowly turned me around. He reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
My eyes were watering as he cupped my cheeks with both of his hands, stepping closer to me. He smiled before leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. I instantly started moving my lips against his, not able to get enough.
I wrapped my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my waist. Noah pulled me even closer to him, our lips moving in sync. He slid his tongue across my bottom lip, asking for permission. The second I gave it to him, he instantly pushed his tongue into my mouth. Our tongues fought for dominance as his hands slid down my back. I gasped into the kiss as he cupped my ass in his hands and squeezed.
I was the first to pull away, struggling to breathe. I looked up at him, my cheeks burning. I held my breath as he reached behind himself and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side.
"I went first," he said softly. "You're not going to let me be the only one here shirtless are you?"
I reached for the hem of my dress but froze. "Y/N," he whispered, making me look up at him. "You should never be ashamed of how you look. Especially with me. I don't want you to be embarrassed around me. I will never judge you. I will never think you aren't attractive. Because you are. You are the most beautiful girl in every room you walk into. Every time I see you, you take my breath away. Literally," he laughed as tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
I took a tiny step back causing his hands to fall back to his sides. I hesitated before slowly sliding the straps of my dress off my shoulders, letting the fabric pool at my feet. My cheeks burned as he smiled at me. I was still wearing my swimsuit so I wasn't completely on display, but just enough to still be embarrassed in front of him.
I sucked in a breath when he took a step closer. He reached up and tucked that same piece of hair behind my ear. "Y/N," he whispered. "I want to show you how beautiful you are, but I don't want to pressure you."
I looked into his eyes, my heart beating against my chest. I knew what he meant and I knew why he was hesitant. He was letting me decide whether or not we pushed our friendship over a line that we could never uncross.
"I need you to answer one question for me first," I said, my voice coming out softer than I thought it would.
"Anything," he said quickly, a look of relief in his eyes.
"How long have you wanted to show me how you see me?"
He smiled, instantly understanding what I was really asking him. "For as long as I can remember."
I stood on my toes, pressing my lips to his. He wrapped his arms around my waist, our lips quickly moving in sync. I could feel my cheeks burning as my hands were pressed to his bare chest and his hands were holding my bare hips.
The longer we kissed, the more heated it got. I shivered as I felt his hands play with the waistband of my swimsuit bottoms. He was the first to pull away, both of us struggling to catch our breaths.
He looked into my eyes before reaching down and picking me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, not breaking eye contact. I pressed my lips back to his as he started walking us across the room.
I gasped as he carefully put me on the bed, climbing over me. He leaned back, scanning my face as if he was trying to take it all in. "Do you want to do this?" He asked so softly I almost missed it. "With me?" He added.
"Yes," I said without having to hesitate. The second the word left my mouth, Noah leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I ran my fingers through his hair as our lips moved in sync. It didn't take long for the kiss to get heated.
I gasped as he pulled away and started leaving wet kisses up and down my neck. I bit my lip as he softly bit my skin. When he was satisfied with the number of bruises he left on my neck, he quickly went back to kissing my lips. As our lips moved in sync, Noah's hand slid up my stomach. I moaned into the kiss as he slid his hand under the fabric of my swimsuit and wrapped it around my breast. I moaned louder as he squeezed.
He slowly slid his hand back down my stomach until it rested right above my bottoms. He shoved his tongue into my mouth, moving it against mine. As he explored every inch of my mouth, his hand made its way to my thigh. He squeezed it before lifting my leg so my foot was pressed against the bed, my knee bent towards the ceiling.
He lowered himself so he was between my legs, his hips hovering over mine. He pulled away from my lips and started kissing the other side of my neck as his hand got higher and higher up my thigh. I gasped as he slipped his fingers under the fabric, making me instantly wet.
"Noah," I moaned as he slipped his fingers into me, slowly swirling them around. I arched my back, lifting my hips closer to him.
"How does this feel?" He moaned into my ear as he began moving his fingers faster and harder.
I answered him by letting out a loud moan. I felt him smirk against my skin. He slipped his fingers out causing me to let out a disappointed groan. "Don't worry, babe." He whispered, giving me chills. "We're just getting started."
He pressed his lips back to mine, moving them hungrily against my own. "Noah," I gasped, pulling out of the kiss. I started to sit up, making him have to do the same.
He looked at me, his eyes filled with worry. I smirked as I ran my fingers through his hair and leaned towards him to whisper in his ear. "Switch places with me."
He leaned back and smirked. I gasped as he quickly moved us so I was now sitting on his lap. His hands were on my hips as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. I moaned into the kiss as I felt him growing hard underneath me.
I pulled away, breathing heavily. I grabbed his hand and made him reach behind me, putting his hand on the tie that kept my swimsuit up.
"Are you sure?" He asked. I bit my lip nodding. He leaned forward and started kissing me as he pulled on the string. I felt the cold air hit me as the fabric fell between us. I grabbed it and tossed it to the side.
As our lips were still pressed to each other, Noah flipped us back over so he was hovering over me again. He didn't pull away as he pressed his bare chest to mine. I heard him moan as he slowly rubbed his chest against mine.
He pulled away, still pressed to me as he looked at my eyes. Slowly, he pushed himself up so he was hovering over me and looked down at my bare chest. When he looked back at me, my cheeks red as I struggled to look at him.
He cupped my cheek in his hand and made me look back at him. "Just as beautiful as I knew you would be," he said gently.
He leaned back down and instantly started kissing me again. As our lips moved in sync, our moans and sighs echoing off the walls, I reached up and played with the waistband of his swim trunks.
"Do it," he mumbled against my lips. I didn't hesitate to pull his trunks down, him instantly kicking them off. Once they were off, he reached down and slid mine off.
"Let me know if I'm being too rough, okay? If you need to stop, just say so."
I nodded before he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. As our lips moved hungrily against each other, I felt him position himself between my legs. I bit down on his bottom lip as I felt him slip into me.
I moaned loudly against his lips as my walls adjusted to his size. He pulled out of the kiss as he slowly started pushing in and out of me. I took shaky breaths as I closed my eyes, the pleasure instantly building.
"Just relax, baby." He said in a deep voice I've never heard him use before. "Let me do all the work. All I need you to do is enjoy yourself."
I closed my eyes and nodded as he pushed deeper into me. He leaned down and started kissing my neck, still moving hips against mine. The moans escaped my lips louder and faster as he continued to push into me.
He wasn't gentle but he wasn't rough. His movements made me feel things I've never felt before.
"Holy shit, Noah." He cut me off by pressing his lips roughly back to mine. I moaned as he reached up and started massaging my breast as he continued to push in and out of me. I felt him grow harder in me as I continued to moan his name in between kisses.
I gripped the blanket we were on top of as he pushed into me harder. I took a shaky breath as he started sucking on my chest, getting lower and lower.
When his lips moved to my breast, I sucked in a deep breath and reached up, grabbing his back. I dug my nails into his back as he moved his lips faster, his tongue quickly finding my nipple.
"Noah," I moaned. "If you keep. . . I'm gonna. . ."
He pulled away, a loud pop sound filling the room. He quickly pressed his lips to mine, his tongue instantly entering my mouth.
"Maybe I want you to," he moaned against my lips.
"Are you sure?" I stuttered.
"I'm sure, baby. Let's do it together." He whispered, his breath hitting my face. He soon pulled out of me. He looked down at me, a smirk on his lips as he quickly and roughly pushed back into me.
He leaned his forehead against mine as his hips still smoothly rocked in and out of mine, moans and grunts escaping our lips.
"Fuck, Noah!" I yelled his name as we released into each other. We both took a few deep breaths as we came down off our highs. My eyes watered slightly as he pulled out of me and laid next to me.
"Holy shit," I gasped, making him laugh. "I have never felt like that before. Ever. I mean. . . It wasn't just pleasure. It was. . . It was hot as fuck."
Noah laughed as he shifted so he was on his side, facing me. "Good," he chuckled. "That's how I wanted to make you feel."
He reached up and cupped my cheek with his hand. He leaned in and pressed a soft, short kiss to my swollen lips. He pulled out of the kiss and grabbed me, pulling me into his chest. My arm wrapped around his waist as my bare chest pressed to him. I let out a satisfied sigh as he started rubbing my back, his hand continually getting lower.
"Whenever you have negative thoughts about yourself, I want you to call me. That way I can show you you're wrong."
I looked up at him to see him studying the ceiling. I leaned up and kissed his jaw. "I will," I promised.
"I mean it, Y/N." He said as he sat up. I grabbed the blanket and clutched it to my chest as I sat up. "I have sat back since middle school and listened to you talk down about yourself, saying you weren't pretty enough to be on the cheerleading team. I'm not going to do it anymore, babe. I'm gonna make sure you know how beautiful you are every day."
He looked back at me, his eyes more determined than I have ever seen them. "You are the most beautiful girl on the team. I don't want you to ever think overwise. When you're at one of my games, I lose focus because I can't stop staring at you. I have to stop myself from running off the field and kissing you every time I see you looking at the other girls, embarrassed."
He shifted towards me and grabbed my hands in his. "I love you, Y/N. I love everything about you. You're humor, you're kindness, your bravery, everything. Nothing will ever make me stop loving you. I want to be with you forever. I want to spend the rest of my life showing you, proving to you how beautiful you are. I want to have people look at us and think "she is way too hot to be with that guy" because you are. You are beautiful, attractive, sexy, hot as fuck. However, you want to say it. You are the most beautiful girl in the world. In my world."
By the time he was done with his speech, I had tears streaming down my face. I nodded as I grabbed his face and pressed my lips to his. I pulled away and pressed my forehead to his.
"I love you too, Noah."
We laid down, my head on his chest and his arm wrapped around my bare waist. I'm not sure how long we laid like that. After a little while, I laughed, suddenly remembering the pool party happening outside.
"What?" He asked as he looked down at me.
"Do you realize what we just did and where we did it?" I chuckled, my cheeks burning. It took him a second but he eventually laughed.
"Out of all the times I've thought about finally being with you, never thought it would be at Abigail Hanson's summer party."
"All the times?" I sat up, clutching the blanket to my chest. His cheeks suddenly turned pink as he sat up on his elbows.
"Yeah," he said slowly as he reached up and scratched the back of his neck. "I'd be lying if I said I never thought about you and me. I've thought about it all the time."
I leaned down and pressed my lips to his. I felt him smile into the kiss as our lips moved in sync. I pulled away before it could go too far.
"We should probably head downstairs," I said, catching my breath.
"After you answer one question for me."
"Okay," I shrugged.
"Will you be my girlfriend? Officially?" I smiled at the slightly nervous look on his face. I leaned down and pressed my lips to his again. He reached up and cupped my cheek as he moved his lips against mine. He was the first to pull away.
"Yes," I whispered, our foreheads pressed together. I let out a surprised giggle as he quickly rolled over, hovering over me.
He smiled down at me before pressing his lips to mine, instantly moving them against my own. I moaned as he grabbed my hand and placed it above my head, squeezing slightly.
He moved from my lips and started kissing up and down my neck. I gasped as he reached my sweet spot, stopping to spend extra time there. He pressed his lips back to mine, instantly slipping his tongue into my mouth. Our lips moved in sync a little longer until we pulled away, gasping for breath.
He leaned his forehead against mine, his breath hitting my face. "I love you, Y/N." He whispered.
"I love you too, Noah."