The early morning sun shone across April's face and she awoke with a start. She looked around her room confused, as if she expected to be somewhere else. Visions of the wedding flooded her memory, then Jae holding her outside. And just as they were about to kiss...Kenny! He was in her living room. She grabbed her black and red Kimono robe and rushed out into the main room of her apartment. Kenny was nowhere to be found. There was no trace of him anywhere. No clothes, no lingering scent of expensive cologne. The blanket she remembered covering him with was folded neatly on the back of the chair from which she had taken it.
Had it all been a dream? Was she so exhausted after the wedding that she fell asleep as soon as she got home, dreaming everything she thought happened afterwards? That must be it, she thought. She couldn't imagine Kenny actually acting in such a way. But did dreaming it so vividly mean she wanted it to happen, like she wanted Jae to hold her close and call her beautiful? That part of the dream she liked, the rest was a nightmare. Thankfully it was over.
April sighed in relief and laughed at herself for thinking her dream was real. Even though it felt so real. Jae's hand in hers, his arm around her, the look in his eyes. How could she have imagined all that? But she had. It was the only explanation.
She shrugged and began making herself a cup of coffee. The goal was to get her pictures edited and all the proofs sent to her clients as soon as possible. After pouring a cup she turned to the refrigerator for the cream. She made her coffee more like dessert than anything, with cream, sugar and even cinnamon if she was feeling extra fancy. Today, though, all she wanted was sugar and cream and enough caffeine to keep her awake for the next six hours.
She turned, bottle of cream in hand, only to drop it when she found herself face to face with Kenny.
"Good morning," he said, smiling
He had a towel wrapped around his waist and was drying his hair with another. April picked up the cream without a word because the only words she wanted to say weren't befitting of a lady. He looked so at home and at ease it was as if he never left. But he had left and his comfort was making her blood boil. She poured the cream into the coffee and stirred it so violently she nearly chipped the cup.
"You're angry," Kenny said, dropping his arms to his sides
"What an astute observation."
"April, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, I know Kenny. That's all you ever are."
"I just wanted to talk to you. Explain things. There was no good time during the wedding. I may have had too much to drink but I was nervous. I want things to be good between us again. I've missed you."
April sighed loudly. She was so tired. Not physically, but emotionally. Between Jae and Kenny, the past 24 hours had taken so much out of her she almost missed being alone. Her life had been simple just two days before. Work, eat, sleep, repeat. Throwing apologizing exes and sexy neighbors into the mix was a recipe for heartbreak, something she had had enough of for ten lifetimes.
"Kenny," April began, her voice softer, "you don't have to explain anything, really."
"I do," he said, coming around the kitchen island that separated them. The closer he got the more aware she became that he was basically naked. He stood so close to her that she could feel the heat emanating from him. She remembered that heat. It was the heat she longed for at night for months, as she lay cold and alone in the bed they once shared.
"My leaving had nothing to do with you."
"But John said..."
"I know what he said. He told you what I told him to tell you."
"Why?"
Kenny closed his eyes, obviously pained by having to recount the cause of his actions. He insisted on starting, however, so April was going to let him finish. She watched him as he tried to figure out a way to say what he had to say without hurting her all over again.
Finally, he looked deep into her eyes as if the next thing he said would change her life, and it did.
"My father."
Kenny's father, Lawrence Mitchell, was a wealthy investment banker and partner in the firm where Kenny worked. Lawrence hated April and he had no qualms with letting her know that fact. She wasn't rich enough, cultured enough, or white enough for his liking. He was convinced and had almost convinced April, that Kenny's dating her was simply an act of rebellion and that when the right "woman of quality" came along he would come to his senses. But he didn't. No matter how many single darlings of society Lawrence hurled at Kenny when April wasn't around, or even when she was, he turned them all down, choosing April over everyone and everything. Until he didn't
"So, what? He threatened you. Your job?"
Kenny nodded, unable to look April in the eye.
"It wasn't just that. He technically owned everything I had at the time. If I didn't do what he asked, I wouldn't have anything."
"You would have had me, us. We could have figured it out together" April said before she could think. "Wasn't I enough?"
"Oh my God, April," Kenny said, grabbing her hands, "you were more than I deserved. What kind of man would I be, living off my girlfriend."
"I wouldn't have cared, Kenny."
"But I would. I wanted to take care of you. All the places I took you to, the things I bought you. I didn't do it to show off or just because I could. You deserved it all and you didn't even know it. I just wanted you to have the best. I wasn't the best."
"So, then why did you tell John to tell me you cheated. That's so much worse."
"Because April, I needed you to hate me as much as I hated myself. I didn't deserve your forgiveness or understanding."
"Until now. What changed?"
"John's wedding. I quit the firm six months after, well, everything happened. John and I opened a gym."
"That explains it. I barely recognized him"
Kenny nodded, laughing. April missed his laugh but pushed those feelings aside as soon as they arose. Not today, April, she reprimanded herself. Never again.
"Yeah, he's gained around 35 pounds of muscle. Anyway, when he started planning his wedding I started thinking about you. I never told you but I always imagined we'd get married someday."
April fought to keep from swooning as all her girl parts screamed. She didn't trust herself not to squeal so she pursed her lips and let Kenny continue.
"I was hoping a year had been enough time that you could somehow forgive me but I understand if you don't."
If someone had said to her 24 hours before that in 24 hours Kenny would be wrapped in a towel in her kitchen asking for forgiveness she would have laughed in their faces, then punched them for mentioning his name in her presence. But here he was. Beads of water dripping down his defined chest, his dark eyes smoldering, eyebrows lifted in expectation. He was waiting for an answer but April had none. Now that she knew what really happened, why he really left, were they supposed to pick up where they left off? Did he expect her to step seamlessly back into that role?
"Let me take you to dinner," Kenny offered excitedly before April could decide what to make of the situation.
"I don't know, Kenny..."
"Come on. No obligation, no pressure. Just two people, eating food...near each other."
"Wow, how can I say no to that?"
"You can't. I'll pick you up at eight."
Before she could protest, Kenny turned and rushed back into the bathroom. Watching him walk through her apartment again was so strange. She felt like she was stuck in the worst Twilight Zone episode ever.
Imagine if you will, a crazy woman accepting a date with her ex. Will either of them make it out alive?
When Kenny was finally dressed and after an awkward hug, he left. April stood in the hallway for a moment considering trying to find Jae's apartment. When she realized that the night before hadn't been a dream she also realized that Kenny may have done irreparable damage to their budding relationship. She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to see him. She wanted to almost kiss him again.
Just as she was about to go back inside to make herself presentable, a door down the hall opened and she heard Jae. He was speaking Korean but he wasn't yelling. She was about to go towards his voice when a female voice answered him. April's heart sunk to the basement. Jae had found comfort in another woman. They spoke in the hushed tones of lovers and April had to get out of earshot before she made a complete fool of herself. But before she could get to her door, as she had inched halfway down the hall to hear them better, the girl came around the corner. April turned and tried to pretend she was tying her shoe before realizing she was wearing slippers.
"Good morning," the girl said in a thick Korean accent.
April looked up briefly and smiled at the gorgeous woman walking past her. She had a look of perpetual pity like she felt sorry for everyone for not being as pretty as she was. She was wearing a man's dress shirt, Jae's shirt no doubt, and a skirt.
April watched out of the corner of her eye until the girl was gone, still kneeling in her robe and slippers.
"April?"
She looked up enough to see a pair of men's feet in front of her.
"You HAVE to be kidding," she said aloud.