Lydia White
I am very angry at Harry Styles.
Harry Styles is messing with my head. Harry Styles is making me feel things that I've never felt before. Harry Styles is a jerk.
But he's a beautiful jerk. A jerk with perfect hair, captivating green eyes, and the world's most charming smile.
I was falling for this jerk and there was no way around it.
But right now, as I let the hot water run down me in the shower, I want to be as far away from Harry as possible. He really hurt me when he raised his voice at me tonight. He's been moody with me before, but he's never gotten angry with me. All I was trying to do was make sure that he was okay, then he went and got all upset.
Suffer in silence then, asshole. I don't care.
It was night and day with Harry. One moment, he's kissing me sweetly. The next, he's telling me to forget about it. Or another moment, he's showing me around his house and making jokes. The next, he's yelling at me for being concerned.
I finish my shower and turn off the water. I then dry off with a towel and throw on some pajama shorts and a black t-shirt. I wrap my hair in the towel and brush my teeth. When I finish, I open the door to the bathroom and head to the room I was staying in.
My shift ended at 11, so it was probably around 12:30 am now. I walked in the dark hall, passing all of the boys rooms. The doors were shut and it was dead quiet. They were most likely asleep.
I reach my bedroom door and gasp in shock when I open it. I saw Harry sitting on the edge of my bed, head hung low looking at his feet. His head shot up when I opened the door, causing his curls to bounce on his head. I proceeded to enter the room, closing the door behind me. I ignored Harry's presence as I walked over to the dresser, grabbing a hairbrush and throwing the towel off of my head. I then walk over to the mirror, feeling Harry watch my every move. I really didn't want to deal with what he had to say right now. I knew that me ignoring him was driving him crazy, and it felt good. I stand in front of the mirror and brush my hair. I can see Harry in the reflection, sitting behind me.
His legs hung over the edge of the bed, and his hands were in his lap. He was fiddling with the rings on his fingers and occasionally running his hands through his hair. Eventually, he lets out a huff and speaks...
"Lydia-" he starts.
"What are you doing in here?" I say annoyed as I look at him through the reflection in the mirror.
"I get that you're upset about what happened." He says quietly. I scoff and turn around to face him.
"Forget about it, Harry." I say as I walk over to my bed. I crawl inside the covers and lay down with my head against the pillows. Harry remains on the end of the bed. He looks over his shoulder at me.
"Lydia, I don't want to end the night on a bad note." He says. "Because we're both going to wake up tomorrow feeling like shit and I can't deal with that right now." he continues.
I roll my eyes and sit up. "So, are you trying to apologize here?" I say.
He runs his hands through his curls. "I'm trying to make it right." He says.
I sigh and tuck my hair behind my ears. "Harry, I was only wondering if you were okay, and you snapped at me. It hurt." I tell him. His eyes shift from me to the floor as he slowly nods his head.
He turns his head away so he isn't facing me anymore and sighs. "I shouldn't have done it." he says with his voice just above a whisper. He stands up from the bed and turns to face me with his whole body. "There's just a lot going on." he says.
Of course I wanted to know what these 'goings-on' were, but I knew that I wasn't going to be able to pry it out of him. Not tonight. Besides, even if I tried it might just end up in another fight.
But Harry did seem regretful about yelling at me. I could see it in his face and hear it in his voice.
"It's okay." I whisper, looking up at him. His lips form into a line as he nods.
"Goodnight, Lydia" he says quietly.
"Goodnight, Harry." I reply as he walks through the door.
-
I woke up abruptly when I felt my body being shaken. I groaned and blinked slowly until I came to my senses. I turned my body around to be met with none other than Harry Styles himself.
"Harry? What are you-"
"Shh." he says, putting his finger to his lips. I stare at him in confusion, waiting for him to explain what was going on. He takes his finger away and smiles at me. "Get up. I want to show you something." he smirks.
I tilt my head in confusion. "What time is it?" I mutter.
"6 in the morning." he whispers. I groan and he grabs my wrist lightly, pulling me out of bed. I rub my eyes as he leads me out of the room and now down the stairs.
Where the hell could this man be taking me at 6 am?
Harry stops at the patio door which opens to the backyard. The door is covered by curtains, hiding the outside. He lets go of me and turns to face me, still with a smirk plastered over his face.
"What are we doing?" I ask him.
"Remember last night when we were driving...you were talking about how the sky looked?"
Harry Styles
Lydia furrows her brown in confusion and rubs her tired eyes. "Yeah?" she says, waiting for me to reveal what I was doing.
I smirk at her. "Well, I thought you might want to see this." I say, drawing back the curtains to reveal the early morning sky.
Her features soften as she looks through the screen and up at the surrounding sky. It was a vibrant orange color mixed with pink and yellow accents. It cast an orange tint to everything below it, as well as the clouds.
"Oh my god." she mutters. Her lips were parted and her arms were at her sides. She was in complete awe of the sunrise unfolding before her. In the next moment, she turns to me and looks up into my eyes. "Can we go outside?" she says very softly. I nod and unlock the sliding door, causing a burst of fresh morning air to hit both of us. I watched as she stepped onto the patio, tucking her hair behind her ear and then crossing her arms over stomach. I follow behind her and watch her movements as I stand with my hands folded behind my back.
She looks up at the bright orange heaven above her. "Why did you bring me out here?" she asks quietly, still looking up.
"Why not? I was awake and I saw this and...I don't know I guess I thought of you." I say, walking up to her so that I was now standing beside her. She turns her head to me and smiles softly.
"Thank you." she whispers. I nod while giving her a small, soft smile. She looks back upwards and sucks in a deep breath, followed by slowly exhaling and closing her eyes as she does so. "I haven't seen the sunrise in forever. I forgot how beautiful it was." she says.
As we stood there, time was frozen. I felt like I could stand out here with her forever and never want to do anything ever again.
Lydia White had become so much more than a hot girl that I drove home one night. She was now this person who I was falling for so rapidly that it terrified me. I wasn't in love with her, but I liked her... a lot.
For fucks sake, I'm an elite member of the Kings. I'm a member of a ruthless gang who has killed more people than I can count and for some fucked up reason...this fucking girl was making me weak.
But in moments like these, I didn't care. I just wanted to be around her. I wanted to see her smile. I wanted to see her big blue eyes look into mine. I wanted to crash my lips onto hers so hard that we both lose our breath. Everything else...the gangs, the murder, the Phantoms...they didn't matter.
She looks up into the sky so innocently. She doesn't know anything. She doesn't know what I do. She doesn't know my past. She doesn't know me.
And I knew that if I told her who the real Harry Styles was, this would all be ruined.
And it's these thoughts that always stop these special moments. I get paranoid and lash out, not knowing how else to react. I let it get to my head that because of who I am...I can't be with Lydia.
And while this might be true, I wasn't going to ruin this moment. Because in this moment, she looks so free. She looks so calm and in such a state of tranquility that nothing in the world could change it. She stands there, her mouth saying nothing but the light that radiates from her says everything.
It's funny how you can stand in complete silence with someone but still feel so close to them.
"Do you ever watch the sunrise, Harry?" her voice says from beside me.
Without looking at her, I take a deep breath. "I come out here every morning." I tell her. I was being serious. It was like an escape to be alone. However, I really only started appreciating the beauty of it when Lydia came into my life. The colors seemed brighter. I normally liked to enjoy it alone, but I didn't mind sharing my escape with her. She needed one too.
"I wish it was like this all day." she says, smiling.
Me too.
"Yeah." I nod from beside her. I look ahead of me, taking my bottom lip between my thumb and forefinger, absorbing every last second of this moment until I feel Lydia's eyes watching me. I turn my head to look down at her to see that she was, in fact, staring at me.
"What?" I chuckle. She simply smiles brighter, causing her eyes to crinkle.
Fuck I wish she smiled like that more often.
She shakes her head, her eyes still looking into mine. "You do that a lot." she says. I tilt my head in confusion.
"Do what?" I ask. She points to my mouth with her finger.
"Your lip. You play with your lip." She giggles. I immediately remove my hand from my lip and put it to my side. How does she notice this stuff?
"Force of habit, I guess." I say in response. She laughs and tucks her blonde hair behind her ear, looking back in front of her.
"Well you do that a lot." I say. Her head turns back to me as she furrows her brows. I slowly put my hand up to her hair. I tuck another lose strand behind her ear. "You do that all of the time." I continue. Her lips part and her eyes blink more than usual. My hand remains near her ear, inching closer to the back of her head.
She steps closer to me. I feel my body getting hot and my breath quicken. My hand moves to the back of her head, intertwined in her long hair. I look into her eyes which are flicking back and forth between mine and my lips.
All I wanted to do was connect my lips to hers.
But I was a bad guy. She'd be kissing a bad guy.
But like I said, nothing mattered when I was with her. And now that our bodies were so dangerously close, I didn't care.
"Don't run from me." I whisper, looking down at her.
She looks up at me softly and says, "Why would I?"
Slowly, our heads come closer together. The space between us grows smaller until there's nothing left. In the next moment I connect my lips with her soft plump ones.
We both slowly pull away, making a puckering sound as we disconnect. I needed more. So this time I leaned back in for another kiss as she did the same. One of my hands was at the back of her head, the other came up to hold her cheek. Her hands traveled up my body until they stopped at the back of my neck.
Our lips glided together in a sweet harmony. She pulled away for a moment, trying to catch her breath before kissing me again. I bite her bottom lip softly and she lets out a small moan which made me melt.
Everything stood still as we shared this moment with each other. Eventually, she pulled away from my lips. Our foreheads were touching and all that could be heard was our breathing. I took my head away from hers and looked at her.
Her smile was so big.
"We need to watch the sunrise together more often." she says, making me chuckle.
She had no idea who she was falling for. She had no fucking clue.
But I didn't care.
"I'd love to watch the sunrise with you again, Lydia White."
-
aw fuck my heart