A sea has been born in me. I do not know how.
One thing I know: living water.
— Solveig von Schoultz
"Cayden Jacob Atkinson, would you calm down a little?!"
It was a hopeless attempt to rais her voice in an act of being heard through the crowd.King's Cross station in the morning of the first day of September was nothing but chaos for itself. The train station, the part that wasn't hidden to the un-magical world, was normally crowded with muggles on their way to their destination.
She had always tried on dawdle their way through the there, to enjoy her so un-magic surrounding. It was always a failed try, but at least she could say she tried. Even if it was with a disappointed frown. But now, when August came to an end and September appeared in the picture, so did a certain group of people from all over the U.K. .
Wizards and witches, ranking from all ages, guided their way through the station, most of which would board the Hogwarts train. Each face showing different emotions, the sorrow of those who were starting their final year, aware of it being their last. Or from parents, blue to already say their goodbye to their children. Yet, most of them were happy. The bright happy kind - seeing their friends again, returning to Hogwarts, starting a new adventure.
They built a crowd of people, and in the middle of it all, a frustrated Victoria. No matter how loud the words would come out of her mouth, the boy's ears would stay obvious them. She faintly heard the houselve mutter complaints from time to time. It would have brought a smile to her face at any other occasion, how a creature could act just like the creatures he called masters. Now, her worry prevented her from anything other than the worried expression her brother seemed to enjoy on her face. Otherwise, she saw no other reason why he always seemed to cause it.
Some people found themselves mimicking the anger of the houselves, while others smiled amused at the boy, rushing his way through the people. Wherever there was the smallest piece of free space, the boy didn't hesitate to squeeze his way through, leaving his sister in rush to keep up. The first time that they weren't super early and Victoria regret it to its fullest. Usually, it was a handful of people, now it was just a mass of people. And to her advantage, in the middle of it was a giggly, and way to careless Cayden - the carelessness soon coming to his disadvantage for the boy in form of the body he ran right into, which caused him to fall right on his back. She would have laughed, probably, but the fall seemed pretty serious. Even though it only lasted for a couple of seconds as he soon began to laugh.
"Oh, I'm sorry-"
"Cayden, I told you so!"
Marlene had to laugh at her friend's motherly behavior, endless days of receiving exactly that treatment passed her mind. But just as she laughed at the act in front of her, she continued with the bubbly laugh and stunning bright smile once she found herself in the arms of her best friend.
"Oh, I missed you. , "Victoria whined out, burying her face in the darkness of her face.
"I missed you too. , "the pureblood whispered back into her friend's ear, probably just as happy to see her back. There had been a sudden relieve filling the dark-haired beauty once she saw her friend again, without any visible harm. She wouldn't say it out loud, but Marlene somewhat didn't like it when Victoria was with her family. It would sound strange, even wrong, to most, but Marlene had met the family often enough, due to her family dining in the same circle of "friends", and she didn't like them one bit. Not the way the appeared in the family, how they treated her whenever they were around - Sure, she found occasional adoration towards Alodie Atkinson, but the rest, and especially the grandparents were the cause of her repeated asking the girl to stay at hers over the holidays. She didn't know as much as Lily about her life, but growing up similar people allowed her to build a close picture. No matter what letters Victoria was sending, how much smiled in the pictures, she didn't believe the letters the slightest.
Before she could have voiced anything of that, Victoria had already start plastering with question over question, regarding every second the girl had spent with her family in Mexico. She allowed herself to push those worries to the back of her head. Rather, she smiled, answered each one of them while strolling towards the scarlet train. Marlene would throw her arm over her shoulder, being the confidence she needed when there were people pointing at Victoria, starting to whisper. Only seconds after they basically handed Cayden over to Oscar, the signature whistle already cut through the air, and they entered the vehicle.
Even now, when they saw it for the dozens of times, Marlene and Victoria still looked at it as if it was their first time seeing it. Students were rushing on getting their luggage in, some have already entered, and the rest were already seated in one of the compartments, maybe waving their final goodbye or reuniting with friends. After they put Marlenes trunk in the train, a house-elve already having done that job for Victoria, the girls walked up the little steps and entered the set of compartments that was mostly occupied by Gryffindors. Both were greeted by many of their fellow students, and even when it didn't bother her the slightest, there were definitely more greeting the blond than the brunette. Some seemed to be genuinely on seeing the girl back, while others seemed to hide some intention behind it. Besides those, other students spread more and more joy as they ran around, their laughter filling their ear when magical toys flew around, in various bright colors.
"Honestly, "Victoria started with her arm hocked around Marlene's, a smile on her face, "I think this is one of my favorite tim-" A high-pitched scream was heard, and before they could have done anything, a compartment door burst open, and a cloud of red smoke emerging from it along with 4 coughing boys.
"Ah, Prongs!"
"Damn it!"
"MOONY, HELP ME!"
"Whyyyyy?"
Marlene and Victoria watched with raised eyebrows the boys run out of the. While Remus ran out, with Sirius having jumped on his back, and Peter crawled out of it, James ran out full speed, and directly into Victoria. Barely making it without falling, Victoria held onto James, the boy managing through the shock, to prevent her from falling.
Marlene watched closely with raised eyebrows the two students, the boys furious blush and the girl's glare, which came way too late to be a real one.
Victoria pulled her hands away from James, moving them towards the wand in her hair. A swift movement and the window of the compartment burst open, and with a twirl of her hand, and a much-needed huff, a jet of strong, spiraling wind emerged from the tip of her wand, fully vanishing the cloud of red out of their compartment.
The boys breathed heavily as they watched their chaos going away again, relieve boldly written all over their face. The wind had taken most of the red from their clothes too. While Sirius was the first one to regain himself, with the infamous smirk decorating his face, James wasn't slow to follow.
"Well, don't you girls look lovely, " albeit saying "girls," it was mostly intended for a certain blond. Dusting off the last bit of red from the green shirt that seemed to make his eyes even brighter, James offered them the charming smile of his, that had worked on many for so many years, yet never on the one, it was intended for.
"Potter, " Victoria pressed out, annoyed as the school year hadn't even started yet, yet the boys didn't hesitate on causing more distribution than they should.
For a moment his eyes wandered up and down, " You - YOU - You- ," he pressed out, swallowing harshly, as he focused on the stripe of skin visible between the yellow ruffled crop top and navy skirt she was wearing.
He tried on saying 'you look beautiful' or at least 'you should start wearing yellow more often. It makes you seem even brighter'. You was the only thing that left his mouth, causing her to look at him bewildered. Stuffing his hands deeper into his pockets, while looking extremely stiff, the people around him watched the unlike moment in which he lost all easiness and coolness he mostly appeared to be around her. Even when it was mostly just a method to mask his insecurity, but this act had fallen for a moment it returned just as fast as it had vanished.
Marlene, dressed in a red t-shirt that kept the burgundy patent leather hat, jacket and matching mini skirt paired with a black patent leather boot from looking overdone, didn't bother to brush off the powder that was left in the tips of her hair, somewhat even making it look fashionable.
James cleared his throat, "The lads and I found a free compartment if you girls would like to join us." He motioned his hand towards the compartment that had previously been the victim of stupid thought from the marauders themselves.
She was about to say no when Marlene suddenly turned towards her. "We haven't found any of the girls. We can look for them later, my feet hurt in these heels." And with that, she walked inside the compartment, sitting down on the spot nearest to the door, already taking off one of her shoes.
Victoria, fully bewildered, looked at the girl, before Sirius jumped in front of her vision, and rushed down towards the seat next to Marlene. In his mind, and through his euphoria, Marlene came to this thought because she wanted to spend time near him. Truthfully, the looks James and Victoria were exchanging, were interesting enough to endure Sirius Black for a little longer.
The blond, glaring up at him for a moment, as if it was all his fault, walked inside, voicing her perplexity from under her breath. With crossed arms, she plopped down on the seat next to Peter, directly in front of an amused Sirius. Concentrating on not letting her grumpy, yet confused expression leave her face, Victoria watched Sirius as inconspicuous as possible.
He was still as handsome as ever, the black hair freshly cut as his gray eyes sparkled mischievously as always. His toned body - really, do these boys even go through puberty - was very well outlined in black jeans and a grey t-shirt, which perfectly matched his eyes. But he looked a little tired. Not the kind you look when you only got like 3 hours of sleep; he looked her kind of tired - tired and exhausted of everything, to much weight on his shoulders. Back in diagonally, she hadn't really looked at him properly, but now-
Remus, however, looked, even worse than usual, sickly; droopy eyes, dark circles, the color in his cheeks faded and his body a lot leaner, his muscles mainly on his arms, visible because of the dark blue button-down shirt and his Hogwarts uniform trousers.
Peter looked just a little different from the last time she had seen him, some baby fat vanished from his face, along with some muscles he had gained over the summer. Besides that, he still looked the same; short, ratty-looking sandy blond hair and rather big front tooth, even when they seemed a little smaller.
James, looking like he did previous days when she had seen him last, of course, sat down next to her, as Remus dragged his feet towards the seat next to Sirius, strangely wearing a scarf along with a woolen hat he pulled further down once he tried to fall back to sleep.
For a while, Victoria chatted with Peter, purposely with her back turned to James. She was actually enjoying his stories about the days he had helped his mother in the bakery, but James seemed to see another purpose in the time they had to spend together. Taking one of the chocolate frogs he had in his pocket, he threw it onto Peter's lap, and what seemed like a friendly gesture to Victoria, was the signal he had waited to use since they were in first year and came up with it.
So, Peter heavily breathed out, before joining Sirius' and Marlene's conversation, even when it was only Sirius talking.
With scrunched eyebrows, the girl shrugged it off, before staying silent, starting to pull out a book, when not for the hand which sneaked if from her grasp. Turning towards James, Victoria looked at him with raised eyebrows as he only placed it back into her back and continued smiling like an idiot.
"What Pot-"
"You didn't answer any of my letters."
"Oh, really. Merling, please, PLEASE, forgive me." Her sarcastic tone with the fake despair facial expression made him chuckle.
"I'm not mad, I was just worried. ," the sudden softness in his voice caused her to hold her breath.
"Really? ," she asked in disbelieve, the boy only shrugging as if the words meant nothing. Victoria didn't even know it, but the words meant a lot to her. If he would have been quiet then, for once think before he spoke, it could have stayed like this, maybe. But that is an alternative reality that wouldn't exist.
"I mean, of course, before I saw you in the daily prophet." And as quick as the moment was there, as quick was it gone. Breathing out again, the girl turned her head back to her bag as she muttered a quiet 'of course'.
Pulling out the book, she pulled her legs up to her chest and her nose yet again stuck in a book. Theories of Transubstantial Transfiguration, James read.
Not really interesting. "Why do you read that? ," he asked, aware of her hatred towards transfiguration. Victoria only ignored him, yet as he asked for the fourth time, she placed her fingers in between the pages and turned to back to him, which seemed to satisfie him.
"Not that it is your business, but not everyone is naturally gifted in magic, or for that matter, in Transfiguration. ," she huffed out, before returning back towards her book.
James moved a little closer, making Victoria think that he didn't want the rest of them to hear what he was saying. She had heard the worst - and when she said worst, she meant worst - jokes coming from him in relation to Transfiguration, alone in fourth year when the boy screamed through the whole class that she can always transform 'this sausage into a baguette' .
And really, his voice was barely a whisper when he spoke again, the girl only threating what was coming now. "You know, I could tutor you again if you like."
She was happy that she had left her hair mostly open, as it now prevented him to see the blush on her face, along with her wide eyes. Memories of their first year rushed back into her mind and were forced to go just as fast as a pleasant feeling rose up inside of her as it had always done when they meet late at night, in the library where he offered her a hand, when she took no ones, beside his. As if she was reminded of the mistakes she had already made in the past, ones she was reminded through the summer holidays, her posture turned stiff again, the easiness flowing out of her body.
James noticing the reaction his words had caused felt a sudden panic rising up in him. He only meant it nice, but when he saw the sudden change of attitude the girl had, he believed that she thought he meant any sort of harm. He didn't meant it as any kind of insult. She was one of the smartest people he knew! Even when there were parts in school, when he aknowledged her struggeling, she was still one of the most intelligent people he had ever met. What or what she not accomplised in school didn't matter when it came to her intelligence, but it seamed that he still would need some time to convince her to that.
"I just meant-"
"It's okay Potter. Just...sleep, or talk to one of your friends."
•••
Victoria didn't enjoy spending her time in most of the rooms at home. They were too red, too extravagant, too posh, too vain. And even when the red and gold surrounded her in all its mighty, the girl couldn't think of a place where she would rather be.
Too early in the morning, it didn't come as a surprise that the Gryffindor common room was empty. While they should have probably been sleeping by then, Lily Evans and Victoria Atkinson were fully awake, almost hidden by the thick blanket with which they had cuddled up in front of the fire Lily's wand had enlightened. Spending the night, quietly exchanging words to catch the other one up on whatever they had missed, they didn't seem to see a reason on sleeping.
Lily told her about the missing of any apology still coming from Remus. While he always seemed like he was about to, Remus had still not apologized for his behavior barely months ago. Lily and Severus had gone separate ways, still, there should have been an apology leaving his mouth for doing that to her (ex-) friend. When not apologize, then at least dare to talk to her, seeing as he hadn't done that either. And even when she hadn't received a letter by the brown-haired boy himself, she had received one from Benjamin Warnke, a boy in their year who apparently, had a crush on the girl for the longest times, and only dared to ask her out now, in form of a letter mid-summer holiday. For obvious reasons, she said no.
"Oh, one time-," Victoria started smiling, as they sipped on the freshly brewed tea, the house-elve vanished seconds ago. "- I was with my grandparents and we were talking - well more, they were talking and I had to listen - and suddenly my grandfather pulled out a letter. I had to explain to them, that we really don't need to arrange a meeting with the Potters to discuss me and James relationship. , "she retold, her laughter filling the air around them.
As embarrassing as it was, she had only been lucky that it happened then, and not a year prior when different thoughts filled page over page. He stopped writing the majority of purely inappropriate things, that was the truth, but in Victoria's eyes, it was about time. The boy was 16, and when not now, would he ever? Too deep into the memory, Victoria only then realized that Lily wasn't laughing. The blond wasn't really funny, but she wasn't that unfunny to cause the worried expression she wore now.
Lily stayed quiet for a moment, seeming to search for something in her friend's eyes. Before she could have voiced her thoughts, Victoria already knew what the girl thought.
"They weren't that bad if you look at the circumcises. In the beginning, they were really angry, but over summer they sort of cooled down. I mean, they kind of had to, with the auror training? ," she explained, and while she presented it with a pretty little ribbon, Lily saw that it didn't cool down. Even when she had never met them, Leathan and Kalina Atkinson didn't seem like the most forgiving people.
"How far are you?"
"I'm done with Stealth and Tracking. Concealment and Disguise, magical combat, practical defense - all that would be left is Transfigure and Untransfigure...," she almost whispered the next part, "...Then I'm done."
Lily, sensing the worry, scrunched her eyebrows together, " how long?"
"Untrasfigure won't be the problem. Transfiguration - a lot more, but... shortly after Christmas. That's when I should be finished." Lily looked as lost as Victoria felt. When hearing the tales of the purebloods family for the first time, Lily didn't understand a thing. Why they would start training a kid when it only then got into school? After some time, along with a Victoria who never accepted her suffer, she saw some sense in it, even if she would never understand how you could force a child to do the things some adults were afraid of doing. It would give her an advantage, finish the training from home to directly get into the training for a job the girl didn't even want.
But now, when she was only in her sixth year, and almost finished, Lily hadn't had the slightest clue on what would be next.
"Then... Obviously, they have something planned. Maybe they stop with pressuring you. Or they become even worse, and you have to go there on the weekends, and then-" Victoria took the fumbeling hands of her friend on her own. Lily worried. It pained her in a way she would never understand, seeing her friend suffer because of her.
"They said that till graduation I'll have a break. So we could travel, lay on the beach near your house, watch these long moving pictures. , "Victoria lied, the encouraging smile to perfect for Lily to notice that it wasn't a real one. It gave her a little light, and that in return, gave Victoria the sun.
"Really?"
"Definitely."
When Lily hugged her in euphoria, Victoria allowed her smile to fall for the most real of seconds.
There was a distant relieve coming nearer and nearer with the knowledge of almost being finished with a test that seemed to stretch over her whole life. Even when she knew that this wouldn't be the case, she still hoped for the ending of private tuition, no holiday spend without it till then.
But what caused the frown to stay on her face that she didn't know what was coming afterward. Tests? Internships?... Freedom?
She could have anything, but freedom?
It was more likely that they would just take her out of school, and force her into an auror uniform.
As foolish as she may be sometimes, she could never be that foolish.