"I'll be the one who stays for you."
Jennie remembered what Jisoo had uttered that night. The words coming from Jisoo's mouth became her stars in the evening sky, it kept her up, looking at them until she was longer aware humans needed to fall asleep. Jisoo's arms were around her, holding her, and all Jennie wanted that morning was to wake up to the same touch, wake up to the same face.
If she were to open her eyes to Jisoo after she would drift into the realm of sleep, Jennie would never hesitate to close her eyes, because she knew Jisoo would be there once she would open them.
Jennie reached out for one of Jisoo's hands that was on her back and sled it upfront. She took her hand and placed it on her chest, where her heart was, where it aches for Jisoo the most. Jennie did not know if it would mend her, or break her all over again, but it was adequate to her heart's craving for her.
"Do you feel that, Jisoo? Can't you feel how much it beats because of you?"
And Jisoo woke up just then, and in the sunlight enclosed Jennie in a tighter embrace, smiling drowsily at her, but her eyes still closed.
"Good morning, Jennie." And it melted Jennie's heart.
When Jennie met Jisoo's eyes, she walked in on love with a little bit more certainty to her steps. "Good morning, Jisoo."
Jisoo had only noticed that her other hand was pressed above Jennie's chest. But she didn't retrieve her hand back, because she felt Jennie's skin slowly unwrap itself to reveal her heart. It whispered foreign languages that she still had yet to understand. Every beat manifested a solemn imagery of Jennie's emotional passion for her, but still, she had yet to understand.
And now, looking at Jennie made Jisoo tingly all over, her body, her heart, her very limbs. And they found their faces close once again, their lips now comets that are close enough to collide, but shy enough to pierce the galaxy that was between them. But Jennie proved to be a sorcerer's spell as Jisoo found herself being coaxed towards her.
She had her eyes on Jennie's lips as their noses have now acquainted themselves with each other. Jisoo would not deny she was overwhelmed with a strong affection for Jennie, she had said words that expressed it. She knew that kind of affection too well. It exceeded the dimension of a platonic one.
Their lips grazed against each other to a slight extent. Their intimate contact was buried under the skin of the Earth, they barely had their lips touching, but they felt the magic of it move like magma, slow but it burned their insides.
But it ended before it could even begin.
Grace, their very own personal interrupter, had once again lived up to her title as she opened the door. Jisoo and Jennie's heads repelled almost like the same signs of a magnet would, but they still felt the advance of the magma underneath their skins, somewhere near their hearts.
Jisoo was about to say something when she noticed the little bundle Grace had in her arms.
"It's time for you to meet the baby."
Grace came closer to Jennie and revealed the baby girl that had remained hidden for the past nine months.
Jennie took Lisa and held her close to her chest. Her cheeks were white with a splash of red. She smelled of fresh air, and her favorite vanilla scent. This was heaven wrapped up in her daughter.
"I love you." Jennie looked deeply at her daughter's face.
The doctor came in after Grace. "Good morning, Ms. Kim. Since you are done with your observations after your heart stopped last night, we are going to start breastfeeding, is that fine with you?"
Jennie nodded.
The doctor instructed Jennie to cradle the baby with Lisa's feet to her side. She lifted her shirt to expose her breast. Jisoo, who still sat beside Jennie, looked away, her face starting to feel some heat.
"Now, to stimulate the baby to a breastfeeding session, I want you to stroke her lips with your nipple."
Once her baby's lips opened wide, Jennie moved her to her breast, covering her whole areola.
"I see that your baby is able to latch on." Jennie could only giggle as the tears gathered at her eyes. Her baby was too beautiful to even take her eyes away from her.
She glanced the the back of Jisoo's head. "Chu? Don't you want to see Lisa?"
Jisoo rubbed the back of her neck. "Of course! But, uhh...I think the circumstance is uncanny."
Jennie looked down and blushed, but she knew Jisoo had seen her bare, so this wasn't in any way, malicious and new.
"I don't mind. You're a reason too why Lisa made it to this world."
She scooted closer to Jennie and slowly turned her head to meet the sight of Lisa and Jennie. Jisoo seemed so focused and calm, yet her eyes remained fixed on them both, silently painting the image in the most concealed and safe crevices of her mind and heart. The moon finally met her star, and Jisoo knew her tomorrow just had to start with them.
Jisoo stroked the baby's round and plump cheek, feeling its softness beneath her fingers. She smiled as Lisa took her finger and enclosed it with her small hand. "Hey there."
Jennie employed her sight on them, and she never wanted this to be the last time she'll see Jisoo and her baby. But she knew she'd have to leave soon, so if this was all she could receive, then she would gladly accept.
This was the closest thing she could get to a family, and it was truly a blessing to her.
"She looks heavenly. Just like her mother."
Jisoo looked up to Jennie, catching the pink color on her face. Jisoo was the fire on her body that no water could ever dissipate it. Jennie took one of her free hand towards Jisoo's neck and tugged her head to place a gentle kiss on her forehead.
"You don't know how thankful I am for you." And Jennie didn't just mean Jisoo's compliment.
"I know."
Jisoo brought their foreheads together, with Lisa in between their bodies. Two solitudes meet, creating the most real experience of holding each other's hearts even after the wrath of hatred and tears.
This wasn't close to family.
This was family.
***
After several more tests, Jennie was finally discharged from the hospital. They were inside the car, returning back to the suite. Ever since having Lisa hold her finger, Jennie had noticed Jisoo always sneaking a touch of her baby, and she just couldn't help but offer Jisoo to carry her once they got inside the vehicle. As expected, Jisoo squealed like a giddy girl as she held Lisa for the first time.
"I never knew it feels so rewarding to be holding a baby. Especially if its your own."
And Jennie had to ponder on the scene before her. Jisoo was sitting by the window, with Lisa secure in her arms. Jisoo was whispering and laughing from time to time.
So much was taken from Jennie, her mother, innocence, youth and pride, made weak with time and circumstances, but now she has risen from strong will, and was no longer thinking of the hurtful days of the past.
"She smells like you, too."
Jennie was brought back from her train of thoughts when Jisoo spoke. "You know, I'm really starting to like vanilla."
"I suppose you have me to thank for." She smiled as Jisoo found herself chuckling.
"I suppose I do."
Jennie moved closer to Jisoo, holding Lisa's hand, and watching the scenery outside with them. She had nothing to do, but smile.
Once they have arrived outside the suite, Jisoo playfully covered Lisa's sleeping face as she tiptoed towards the double doors. "Dun dun dun." She motioned Grace to open the doors, and as soon as she had, Jisoo took her hand away from the baby's face and held it out on her side.
"Ta-da! This is going to be your new home, Lisa-ya! It's so gloomy in the hospital, no? You'll find nothing but happiness here."
And Jennie just had to clutch at her own chest upon hearing it, because their agreement was only valid until she gave birth. She was to leave there after. Did she even have enough willpower to walk away from Jisoo? She only realized then that she didn't, she couldn't possibly have enough.
How could she leave Jisoo, whom she had lived with, and could possibly harbor the long-lost feeling of love within her? The thing that was unimaginable for Jennie was having her staying, but the thing that was the most impossible was having her leaving.
Leaving made her desperately want to stay, but she knew she couldn't unless Jisoo would ask her to, which was, again, the most impossible word to come forth from Jisoo's mouth.
Eight months and a week, and somewhere in between Jisoo had managed to touch her heart.
"I have another surprise for you and your mommy." Jisoo glanced back at Jennie, her lips curved as wide as ever.
"Come with me."
Jisoo and and Jennie walked to the end of the hallway until they had reached the door of the guest room. Jennie turned the doorknob as soon as she got the signal from Jisoo. And her heart could not even be more pained from leaving when she saw how the room was turned into a nursery. The room was complete with all the necessary equipment, from the crib to the changing stations, to the toys to the cabinets full of the baby clothes they have bought.
"I was supposed to make the crib by myself, but I couldn't since I had to get you to the hospital, so I had Mark make it instead. I hope you like--"
Jennie cut her off, evident moisture in her eyes. "It's all too much, but thank you."
She watched as Jisoo placed Lisa inside the crib, giving her a small peck before turning back to her.
The joy Jisoo had expected from Jennie had not come into existence as she was sobbing. The tears came before she could stop them, freezing cold on her face, but she could not bother wiping them off. Jennie's cries broke the bubble of elation that had wrapped itself into the two of them.
Jisoo walked towards Jennie, engulfing her small face with her hands.
"Why are you crying? Is the room too ugly?"
Jennie shook her head.
"No." She sniffed.
"Then what is it?"
Jisoo ran her thumb across her cheeks to dry them off of the tears which seemed to keep coming.
"You must have forgotten I'm leaving."
The words even hurt when Jennie said them. And as Jennie spoke, Jisoo knew she did not wish to leave, not that she had any plans on letting Jennie and Lisa do so anyway.
Especially not after this, especially not after what happened between them.
"You must have forgotten I can always alter the deal."
Jisoo's face brightened as she eradicated Jennie's fresh tears with her kisses, moving from her jaw up to her eyelids, and then back again to the other side.
One word, four letters.
And it made all the difference.
"Stay."