a.n. don't forget to comment and vote
• • •
Harry Styles
It made it into the headline of articles, the front pages of magazines and it never occurred to me that it could have happened. It did not cross my mind once that Louis could have done anyone else wrong because my focus was mainly on myself and the woman who I loved more than anything else. My priority was us but nevertheless, it made me feel relieved knowing he was going to spend a good chunk of his life behind bars.
Life was now somewhat back to normal. Work became my main focus because with everything that constantly seemed to happen, my projects been placed on hold or simply they were pushed back to a later date.
GUCCI x STYLES was launching online in a matter of minutes. I cracked my knuckles although I was against it. The pressure and excitement were unbearable and my stomach churred. Within those few minutes, I felt like throwing up more times than I have in the last year and the cold sweat that covered my whole entire body was insane. I felt sticky and I desperately needed a shower but I wasn't at home and I didn't think of ever installing a damn shower in my office.
Then it was live.
And I kept refreshing the page because I didn't want to believe it. The clothing line was out and there for everyone to see. I grinned as I clicked on every single item and then refreshed the whole page again. This was so unreal. Everything that I have worked on, all my sweat, blood and tears that have gone into this project was worth it because it all worked out and everything looked fucking amazing. I was really proud of myself for pushing through the unbearable travelling between Italy and London, for all the meetings that had to be held because I changed my mind the last minute about the design or the material.
I chuckled lightly when my phone kept ringing with all the texts that came through and with how relieved I was to finally have it all out there, I didn't even bother putting the device on silent. I leaned back in my chair and allowed all my acquaintances and friends and family and business partners and clients to flood my phone with texts.
In all honesty, when I started this work, I believed that I wouldn't be on my own when the launch happens. I believed that I would be in a different situation, in a different scenario but that didn't matter anymore. That would never happen and I had to accept that. I had to accept the consequences of my actions even though what I did was for the best.
The launch party was tonight. I didn't think it was necessary to wait for the weekend and it's not like anyone ever said no to a party with an open bar. The invite went out to the usual people and some new investors and partners, I even felt the courage to send one to Zayn. I thought we got along well and although I knew he most likely sided with Renleigh through all of this, I believed that there was no harm caused in giving him an invitation.
Not that I expected him to turn up. He was in New York, busy and probably didn't even get the letter in the mail.
You know he did. You made sure to send his earlier so that it for sure arrived on time and he had the chance to consider it.
Guilty as charged.
But for some weird reason, I thought that maybe he would bring Renleigh along and we could talk. Or at least, I could see her. I didn't deserve it but I missed her so much more than I could have ever put it into words. It got to the point where I believed I missed her more now than I have in the past year and that could have been due to the fact that this time around, I knew I wasn't going to see her.
Stop being a pussy. You broke it off, you have no reason to be crying over your actions.
Which was legit. I was the one to end it but I did it for a good reason and in the moment, it made sense. Now, I just hated myself for not thinking it through and coming up with a solution that wouldn't have hurt anyone in the process.
• • •
I greeted everyone as normal and went about my business as usual. I didn't do anything different this time around, other than had the whole Gucci team here to celebrate with me. Something that was out of the ordinary was my parents being present. I didn't invite them and the fact that they got through the front doors without any trouble, truly did do my head in. I needed at least two glasses of whiskey down my throat before I had the courage to deal with them.
"Son," my father greeted me as soon as he noticed me and I raised my eyebrows then chuckled under my breath.
"That's funny," I mentioned. "Last time we saw each other, you didn't want to do shit with me. I'm not sure why you're pretending to be on my good side."
"Harry, let's not make a scene at your own party," my good ol'mother decided to add to our conversation. I swear her voice never irritated me more than in that moment.
"Alright, let's not—I'll show you both to the door," I grinned fakely at them as I showed the way with my hand.
"You know it's going to look bad if you make us leave right now," mum threatened. "I assume you don't want a bad reputation now that you have finally gotten rid of your side package."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Oh, did you not think anyone would notice?" she laughed back at me like the evil woman she was. I watched her take a sip of her cocktail as my father just stood on the side and watched everything happen, as per usual. He never once interfered. Although, even if he would have, I knew he never would've sided with me. "It's quite obvious."
"Ah, is it, now?" I decided to play along. "Why is that?"
"For starters, she would hang from your neck and wouldn't let you breathe all night. She also wouldn't have let you approach us and speak to us unless she had some rather disrespectful things to say to me or your father."
"Are you done?" I asked. But never waited for a reply as I continued to say. "What goes on with her and I, is actually none of your business. It's also not something I want to discuss at my launch party so unless you have something nice to say, I don't want to hear you talk to me. Not after you basically disowned me—which, by the way, I will not forget."
"Harry, don't speak to your mother like that," dad interfered and I decided to give him a fake clap.
"Wow," I chuckled as I stood there and witnessed my dad side with my mum. "You know what? Why don't you both get the hell out of here, hm? It's not like you'd understand how much this event or the project itself means to me, and neither of you are ever pleased with whatever I do. So, really, is there a point in you two being here? Especially since no one invited you here."
"Hey, is everything OK here?" I whipped my head to the side and found Celia by my side. The woman was here, I invited her. But I didn't ask her to come and rescue me so to see her there, it was a bit weird. We never had a relationship that consisted of more than getting naked in the bedsheets.
"I see why you have decided to end your foolish relationship and move onto better things," my mother smirked and stretched her hand out towards Celia. "I'm Amelia."
"And I asked if everything was OK here," Celia replied. Her answer caused me to chuckle and it brought everyone's attention towards me, instantly. I didn't expect it to be so loud but I had no shame about it—that comeback was smooth as a baby's ass.
"Well, it seems like my son has quite the taste in disrespectful women, isn't that right, honey?" she glanced at my dad and I rolled my eyes. How was this person my fucking mother? Honestly, what did I do to deserve someone like her?
"Excuse me?" Celia asked back, her newly found confidence towards people like my parents was astounding. I was enjoying this a bit too much.
But I didn't want a scene here. I wanted a peaceful night.
"Mother, father, please. Leave my event," I stated with a stern voice. "You were not invited and frankly, I don't want you here. You know where the door is."
A final nod and glance towards them was my goodbye before I walked away from them, Celia on my heel in an instant. She followed me to the bar and we both got ourselves drinks and then she initiated a conversation with me.
"The rumours are true then, huh?" she asked me with a sad smile and I nodded in response, clearly aware of what she meant by the question. In all honesty, we used to talk about stuff sometimes. Yes, I was a complete dick to her for the majority of our hook-up period, but she was a nice girl and we got along when I dropped the twat act.
"I don't think I will ever get her back," I told her and surprised myself and her in the process with that. For some reason, it felt like I could talk to her about anything and she wouldn't judge.
"You can always try," she said. "I know that's easier said than done when you hurt someone then want to get back in their good books. Mainly because they don't want to see you and it's almost impossible to get a bit of time with them but, as cheesy as it is, if it's meant to be, it will happen again."
"I'm not so sure about that."
"Why?"
"She is not like that... if someone crosses her, there is no way they will ever be forgiven. Plus, in a way, this was my second chance with her—I hurt her once and I managed to get her back but now? I feel like this was double the pain and I can't see how she would ever forgive me."
"Maybe that's your problem."
I took a sip of my drink before I asked, "What?"
"You have no faith in her," she replied. "What if she wants you back? What if she is not okay with you breaking up with her?"
"That can't be true," I scoffed. "I know her and I know she is doing just fine without me."
"So, only you get to be hurt over your own mistake?" she asked me with an appalled facial expression and her voice slightly judgey. "I don't think that's how it works, Harry."
"Point is, I don't think she will ever forgive me. I don't see how she could. Or even if she does, I will never get to be with her again."
"And so you won't even try to fight for her?"
"I wouldn't know where to start, Celia," I told her in a frustrated tone. "Ever since I have known her, I did nothing but fight for her. I used every way and every trick I had in me."
"Look, I'm the worst at relationships. I mean, I went out with a bunch of guys and none of them managed to keep my attention. You know why?"
"Why?"
"Because they give up. They tell me I'm too much work to figure out, they tell me I'm constantly playing hard to get and they don't see us going anywhere. They don't have it in them to show me they want me and that, to me at least, is just a big no," I drank my whiskey as she shared that bit of information about herself. "I'm not saying that's the case with your ex because I don't know her at all. I buy her clothes but that's about it. But what I do know is that people's standards have changed, the things they look for in people have changed. Buying flowers, telling them you love them and taking them on a date every once in a while, doesn't have the same power as it once used to—from my point of view, anyway."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that if you won't fight for your girl, someone else will and trust me when I tell you, they won't be the one feeling forgotten."
I pressed my lips together in a firm line as I tapped the side of my empty glass. I was supposed to be having fun tonight and not thinking about my poor decisions in life yet that was exactly what I did.
Ever since I started up my own business, that was the one thing I knew would always be constant. I knew it because I believed in it enough to keep it afloat and avoid it from falling head first into the ground. Then came along a woman who was, at the start, the shakiest part of my life. Not long later, she managed to become something more, something so stable that sometimes, I wondered if she could out-do my company. Losing her was never an option and I didn't think about it as one. Perhaps I had taken her for granted but it was with the intent that I will never lose her.
So when I did, it consumed me.
"You look like you're ready to cry," Celia nudged me and I whipped my head in her direction. I couldn't help but sniffle and I chuckled as I felt like I had been caught. "You know, I'm not sure this party had the best timing."
"No, it did," I sighed and pursed my lips after. I nodded a couple of times before I ran my tongue along my bottom lip. "I broke up with her two weeks ago now. I should be fine."
"Ah," she reacted. "Time heals pain but only if you give it enough."
"I don't want time to heal me. I feel like I deserve the pain," I said. "And I'm not saying that to make you feel sorry for me—hell, I'm not talking to you about this because I need someone to agree with me or because I feel like I deserve to complain. I just need to get it out of me because I know I won't be able to move on until it's in my head."
"Move on?" she questioned.
"Move on as in try to get my shit together and make it up," I made it clear. "I really believe I found my forever person and it sucks that a bribe from some low-life was enough to lose her."
"Someone bribed you to break up with her?"
"It was a bribe at first then a threat. And I don't do well with those, especially not when people I care for and love are in danger."
"Yet you still hurt someone you love and jeopardised your happiness," she concluded. I didn't say anything. I felt like a fool. "Do you feel like you saved more than what you lost?"
Touché.
"At the time, I did."
"But now you realise you lost more, huh?" she hit the nail on the head with that question. You know, I may have overlooked Celia as a person and focused on her more as a booty call and I hated that thought. She really was an amazing woman. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I'm sorry," I apologised.
She laughed at me and asked, "What for?"
"I treated you like shit on the bottom of my shoe for so long and although there were times I thought I was a gentleman, I was just being a complete arsehole, abusing my power over you," I explained honestly. It felt good to let it out yet at the same time, it really made me embarrassed. "You did nothing but jump whenever I needed something—a late night round of sex, a pretty lady on my arm for a red carpet. You always just came to my rescue. Then I just treated you like some piece of meat, like you didn't matter, like you were nothing but an accessory or a means of pleasure for a couple of hours."
"I appreciate the apology but I can't say I ever needed one from you," she said. It caused me to look at her with furrowed eyebrows, confused. "Yes, you may have been a dick to me from time to time but you also gave me opportunities that I couldn't have gotten from anyone else. I'm not excusing the times you made sly comments—like when you told me I couldn't afford something, although you weren't wrong. Or the times you said your things were more important than mine and you needed me at a certain event right in that second. But what I am saying is that I had a choice. Above all the orders and whatnot, I could have easily said no to you but I never did."
"Why?" I questioned. "You knew I was a dick to you. Why did you stick around? The opportunities?"
"Yes, the opportunities were my main thing. You really have opened a lot of doors for me, Harry, and I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't of met you at one of your events. But I also weirdly enjoyed your company."
"Enjoyed?" I asked back to lighten the mood, the soft smirk on my face made her chuckle.
"I still do," she gave in. "Look, all I'm saying is that it's nice to hear you apologise because it shows that you have changed for the better but also, I didn't do anything to stop you from being a twat and I got things out of being with you so we're fine."
"Well, at least you are honest about it," I chuckled.
"I have nothing to hide. I have you to thank for the life I get to live and I'm not ashamed to admit that. I'd feel bad if I would go around telling people I made it on my own," she continued.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"What is that tone for?" she asked me with a wary look on her face. "Should I be scared?"
"Not necessarily..."
"I guess we're about to find out then."
"Have you ever liked me?" I asked her.
"Romantically?"
"Yes."
"Yes."
"You have?"
"I was twenty when we met, a naïve, inexperienced little girl. You were only two years older than me and you already had your whole life planned out—a CEO of your own company. I found that incredibly hot," she admitted with a light chuckle as she focused her attention on her glass between her arms on the bar. "The fact that you paid attention to me and you kept paying attention to me was honestly an indescribable feeling. I never had luck with hot guys and there you are, in all your glory, giving me everything I ever wanted. It was difficult not to give in to my feelings."
"What about now?"
"Harry, you've always been good-looking and I can't deny the fact that you're a treat for anyone's eye. But knowing how happy you were with Renleigh and how much you love her—let's just say, there is a reason why they say you don't compete where you don't compare."
"How come you never tried to get with me?" I asked her, genuinely interested. If she really did like me all this time, why did she keep her head down?
"I can't believe you even have to ask me that," she shook her head. "I always knew I would never be someone you wanted for more than sex or public appearances and although I was naïve for falling for someone like you, I still had a little bit of sense in me that made sure I didn't go around hurting my feelings by exposing them to you."
I was going to ask why she said that then I realised I wasn't the same person I am today. I most likely would have laughed in her face and told her to get out of my sight and never come back.
"Not to mention the fact that you always had something for Renleigh," she mentioned smugly.
I stifled a laugh before I asked, "What makes you say that?"
"I was on your arm for every interaction you had with her. Even when you looked at her as a competitor, I knew she intrigued you because she wasn't like anyone else—like me. She didn't fall before you or looked away with flushed cheeks when she caught you staring. She made you kneel before her and she made you look away with flushed cheeks when she stared right back at you. I had a feeling it was only going to take so long before you made your move and now here we are, every one of my theories about you two ending up together, coming true."
"Oh, yeah?" I scoffed and shook my head, frustrated at the bare thought. The ironic commentary that followed soon after was a question that I knew she couldn't have possibly had an answer for but because I desperately needed to find one, I asked anyway. "How is your theory of her and I ending up together working out so far?"
• • •
a.n.
I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SM. i missed celia a lot tbh. i wanted to mention her and give her a bit of spotlight. she's so much more than harry's fuck buddy and arm accessory and i'm really happy that harry decided to apologise even after she told him there was no need. i feel like their relationship took a turn and from this point on, they're more like people they can count on as opposed to people they turn away from when they see each other in public
what did u think of their conversation? if renleigh wasn't in the picture, i'd definitely see them go somewhere n i'm not mad about it 💆🏻♀️
omg henleigh really out here befriending their fuck buddies their mind amazes me i'm proud
xoxo