“Remember, don’t let them intimidate you, especially that bastard lawyer,” Rochelle said through the phone.
I sighed and scratched my head. “Sure. I’ll be strong. I just want this to be over.”
“I know, hun. It will be soon. But you’re the victim here, so let it be known, alright?”
I nodded as if she could see me. “Yeah...” I checked the time on my watch. “Shouldn’t you be in Sociology?”
“I am. Mr Smith has no idea I’m on the phone. What a twat.”
I chuckled lightly. “You should do some work. I’ll call you later when I’m done.”
“Alright. Good luck, Stace.”
“I’m gonna need it.”
“You’ll be fine, babe. Trust me!”
I smiled at her optimism. “Bye, Chelle.” I hung up and noticed we had arrived at Old Bailey Crown Court. I turned to see Aunt Pauline and Jessica watching me.
“You ready?”
I nodded and removed my seatbelt with a sigh.
“I can’t wait to see this lawyer. Hate the sound of him already,” Jessica muttered as she stepped out the car. She had missed the previous hearing and was pretty pissed off when I told her about the attorney being rude to me.
I scowled as I remembered the questioning he gave me last week.
“Miss Coleman, could you not have reported this to the authorities when Mr Johnson wasn’t around?”
“I tried...”
“You obviously did not try hard enough.”
I steadied my breathing as I looked through the car window at the daunting building that towered above others. Aunt Pauline knocked on the window, snapping me out of my trance.
“C’mon, we don’t wanna be late.”
I nodded and stepped out. She locked the car and we walked inside the official building. I released a deep breath as I signed in. Here we go...
An hour into the hearing I was feeling incredibly closed in. The court was silent, with occasional coughs and muttering from people in the public gallery. I always felt uncomfortable in my seat, just knowing I was being scrutinised by everyone around me. I could feel the judgmental stares from the barristers and claimants as I answered each question accordingly.
Judge Sherry K. Stephens adjusted her glasses and folded her hands on the desk. I glanced at the evil lawyer—whose name I learned to be Mr Henry Shaw—a QC who ranked highly in the courts. Once again he was doing his best to make me look stupid by being condescending.
I watched as he walked to the front desk and picked up an item in a plastic slip.
“Exhibit A,” he said in his monotone voice.
My heart shuddered at the sight of the knife in the plastic transparent slip, still bloody from the traumatic incident. Vivid flashbacks of that ordeal played in my mind. It seemed like such a long time ago now...
He gripped onto my neck and squeezed. My vision went blurry instantly as I struggled to breathe. I kicked my legs about, attempting to break free, but it only made his grip tighter. I slowly looked towards the knife again, tears filling in my eyes and splashing over in seconds.
“I’ll fuckin’ kill ya, Stace! I’ll fuckin’ kill ya!”
I gasped for air. Using all the energy I had left, I quickly reached over to the table and grabbed the knife.
Pause...
He stopped. The atmosphere became still and I quivered in fear. He looked down at his chest where the knife was wedged inside.
I had stabbed him.
“Miss Coleman.”
I looked up with wide eyes to see Mr Shaw still holding the slip. He noticed I was distracted and gave a slight scowl.
“Do you know what this is?”
I looked into his eyes. It was clear he couldn’t wait to prove me wrong, although I was innocent. He would show every piece of evidence possible to make me look like the ruthless killer.
“A knife,” I whispered.
“Not just any knife, though. Could you please tell the court what particular knife this is?”
I quickly looked behind to the public gallery where cousin Jessica and Aunt Pauline sat. They both gave reassuring looks, which made me feel more confident to speak of the situation. I faced Mr Shaw again with a stern face.
“I used that knife to defend myself.”
“And what was happening at the time?”
“He was strangling me.”
“Can you recall what occurred to lead up to this moment?”
I thought back to that day. There were only fragments of memory left, as I’ve tried so hard to forget about it. All I could remember David charging for me in the kitchen. I had acted quickly, only thinking about my safety and not of the consequences. Still, I didn’t regret my actions.
“No,” I finally answered.
“Not very helpful,” Mr Shaw muttered.
I heard my solicitor Mr Lawrence murmur something under his breath. He was desperately itching for his turn so speak. He knew if he were to say anything now, the judge would overrule his statement.
Mr Shaw placed the slip down to pick up a stack of documents instead. He licked his thumb and turned through a few pages.
“Miss Coleman, what were Mr Johnson’s last words to you?”
I swallowed through a tense dry throat as I recalled what he had screamed in my face.
“He said he would kill me,” I mumbled.
“Looks like you beat him to it.”
Mr Lawrence tutted beside me. It was obvious that Mr Shaw’s words were really getting to him now.
Mr Shaw continued to look through the papers. “According to the affidavit provided by Mr Lawrence, you had quickly fled the scene and disappeared for a few days.” He placed the papers down and shot me a harsh glare. “Was this due to a guilty conscience?”
I glanced at my solicitor and breathed heavily before bowing my head in shame. “I panicked, so I ran to my friends house...”
“And who is your friend?”
I looked up again. “Rochelle Michaels.”
Mr Shaw’s eyes quickly scanned the room. “Is Miss Michaels here today?”
“No.”
He nodded curtly before continuing. “So you panicked and practically ran off, leaving your mother to enter the crime scene.”
I scowled at his choice of words. It was hardly a crime scene. The more he said it, the worse it seemed.
Mr Shaw continued to pace up and down the court hall, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Now, under normal circumstances your mother would be obligated to appear in court, but due to her condition, she could not attend. If she were here, she would be well aware of the crime you committed. You understand that, don’t you?”
There it was again, using that disgusting word. Crime. I was anything but a criminal. Using self-defence was the only way for me to break free at the time. This man was adamant to make me look like a killer.
I took a deep breath. “Yes.”
Mr Shaw flicked through more documents on the desk. “In relation to the transcript, you described the ordeal in perfect detail. Now, Miss Coleman, you showed no remorse in your actions, and even went on to justify your reasons, although they seemed a little forced and vague.” He put the papers down and faced me once again. “Would you label yourself as a killer?”
My eyes widened at such a ridiculous question.
“Objection!” Mr Lawrence stood up abruptly. “I refuse to allow the defendant to answer that question, your honour. It is completely unnecessary and insensitive.”
Judge Sherry folded her arms and looked between the two solicitors. “Overruled.”
Mr Lawrence sat back down with a huff.
Mr Shaw turned to me again with a stern face. “Miss Coleman. Answer the question.”
I felt tears surface in my eyes. Being forced to answer a question that everyone knew the answer to was putting a strain on my emotions.
“No,” I mumbled. “I’m not a killer. I’m...not...” I wiped a stray tear that had splashed over and sniffed.
“Crocodile tears will not work in your favour, Miss Coleman.”
I scowled at Mr Shaw. He was literally harassing me in this courtroom and there was nothing I could do about it.
“Now,” he began, folding his arms behind his back and strolling casually to the other side of the court, his eyes focused on me entirely. “Murders such as these are never dealt with lightly. We make sure to extract every detail of the crime as much as we possibly can, to ensure the criminal is not let off easily. You understand that, don’t you, Miss Coleman?”
I watched him in disbelief. The fact that he kept using words such a criminal and crime really did prove how he saw me. It was as if he genuinely believed I killed David for fun. Did the word defence mean nothing to him?
“I understand,” I whispered.
“So I’ll ask again. Do you label yourself as a killer?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling overwhelmed by this question. He was pressuring me into saying yes. There was no way I would claim to be guilty. I had done nothing wrong! All of this was a mere incident, a way to escape...a way to break free of his shackles. I shouldn’t be punished for something David had brought upon himself. It was only a matter of time before I took action anyway. He had to go.
Then I paused. Wasn’t that a killer’s thoughts? Didn’t they thrive off conflict and slaughter? But I was not that kind of person...I don’t deserve any of this. Or maybe this was mere fate? Maybe I belong in jail in order to escape the real world. Perhaps this was God’s way of telling me to take a break, to atone for my sins...there were other possible ways I could’ve dealt with David, but I chose the most brutal method...
Had I wanted to kill him all along?
“Miss Coleman?”
“I...” Another tear trickled down. “N-No...I’m not. I don’t think...I...”
Mr Lawrence held his hand up to stop me. “Your honour, I do not condone pressuring the defendant like this. She already answered the question.”
Judge Sherry scrutinised me for a moment before nodding. I released a huge sigh and Mr Shaw continued to pace around the court.
“I speculate that you and David Johnson were once extremely close. Is that correct?”
I thought back to the very first time mum brought him home to introduce me. Then I recalled when he had touched me shortly after. It didn’t take long before he began to take advantage.
“Not really,” I muttered. “Maybe for the first year he began living with us.”
“Did you have any romantic feelings towards Mr Johnson?”
My eyes bulged. What kind of question was that?
“No. Definitely not.”
“Miss Coleman, sometimes our admiration can manifest into something...dark. In this case, you may have felt a certain way towards the victim. Maybe lured him somehow, making him believe that you had consented.”
What was he saying? I was only young at the time! I had no clue what was happening. He merely took advantage of me because I was vulnerable. This had nothing to do with me admiring him. Plus, was he justifying David’s actions by saying I enticed him? That was sick!
“No. It was nothing like that. I was only nine. He knew what he was doing.”
“So you weren’t jealous of the relationship he had with your mother?”
I was stunned by the question. “What?”
“Your honour...” Mr Lawrence began. I could see his leg twitching beneath the table.
She nodded once more and turned to the bastard. “Stand down, Mr Shaw.”
He gave a curt nod and collected his papers. I huffed and felt relieved. Finally my solicitor could speak. I didn’t realise my heart was thumping until it had registered in my ears...
Eventually the hearing was over. I stood up and collected my things, feeling emotionally and mentally exhausted. This would continue for another week, and then it would all be over. For now, I was dreading the outcome.
Mr Lawrence told me he would wait outside. I simply nodded and continued to gather my things. It didn’t take long for everyone to exit the courtroom. I slung my bag around my shoulder and released a heavy sigh.
“You liar.”
I froze. That was an unfamiliar voice, and it was filled with so much hatred and disdain. I spun around to the public gallery where people had been sat. A girl was stood there watching me. I briefly analysed her, trying to recall her face, but I didn’t know her. She was quite tall; standing at maybe 5”9 with a big chest and slim thighs, roughly my age. Her dark-citrine hair was cut into a fashionable bob, and a deep scowled marred her pretty face.
“You said you’re not a killer. Bullshit.”
I blinked in confusion. “Who are you?”
She sneered at me. “Don’t worry about me. I’m gonna make sure you go to jail.”
My chest tightened. “What?”
“You fuckin’ heard me. You killed David, so you’re gonna pay.” With that, she stomped out of the courtroom, leaving me stood there confused.
I decided to quickly leave as well, trying to follow after and demand who she was, but by the time I reached outside, she had disappeared. Instead, I ignored all of the journalists and flashing cameras to hop into Aunt Pauline’s car. She and Jessica had been waiting for me the whole time.
“That took longer than usual,” Aunt Pauline mentioned. Then she sighed and strapped herself in. “You ready?”
I nodded and she began to drive. It was quiet for a moment before Jessica decided to speak.
“I can’t believe that lawyer, he chats the most shit.”
The anger in her voice didn’t surprise me in the slightest. “Well, it’s his job to argue against me,” I reasoned with a shrug.
Auntie nodded in agreement. “Everyone wants to win the case for their own personal gain.”
“But it’s unfair. We all know the truth.”
“Sometimes the truth isn’t the most important thing.”
Jessica frowned. “I can’t believe he was accusing you of leading David on.”
I gagged at the assumption. I was only nine when I met David, so why on earth would I seduce him? It made no sense, and frankly, the very idea of made me feel sick.
“He’s a horrible lawyer, using everything he can against you,” Aunt Pauline grimaced as she drove.
“I hate him,” Jessica agreed. “Everything he said pissed me off.”
I thought to mention the girl I had just seen, but seeing how angered they already were, I decided to let it be. The last thing I wanted was for them to worry any more than they already were. I should be going through the stress alone.
Aunt Pauline sighed heavily. “It’s been a tiring day. Let’s go home and relax.”
“Wait...” They both looked at me. “Can you drop me to my old school?”
“Why?” Jess asked.
“I wanna see my friends. They’ve probably finished now.”
Aunty looked hesitant, but then Jessica tapped her arm.
“C’mon mum, she ain’t seen ‘em for ages.”
She gave a brief nod and turned the corner. “Alright. Just be careful. If you need me to pick you up, give me a call.”
“I will do, thanks.”
It didn’t take long before Rochelle and Sarah came strolling out the school building. They spotted me by the gates and ran over screaming, gripping me in a tight embrace.
“Oh my God, I missed ya Stace!” Sarah squealed, crushing my ribs. I gasped for air while Rochelle hugged me tight round the shoulders.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” she yelled loudly.
I chuckled at their over-the-top greeting and noticed Spencer, Jamie, Ajarni, and a few other boys from our year leaving the school, including Damien. Their eyes widened when they saw me.
“Rah, is that Stacey?”
“It is y’know.” They approached and greeted me with hugs. It had been a while since I’ve seen them all. I really did miss them.
Damien gave me a brief hug. “You been alright?”
I nodded and Ajarni nudged me.
“Long time, stranger. You ghosted on us.”
I laughed nervously and gave a shrug. “It was time to move, I guess.”
Spencer raised a brow. “Couldn’t say bye, nah?”
“I did!”
“I didn’t get a goodbye,” Damien mentioned.
I rolled my eyes and Jamie felt my hair.
“You went purple? I like it.”
“Yeah, it suits her.”
“Are you guys just gonna stand here and analyse me?” I huffed in frustration.
“It’s what we do.”
I glared at Spencer and they all laughed.
“Nah I’m joking. How was Manchester?”
“It was alright,” I said with a shrug.
“How long you down for?”
“What is this, an interview?” Rochelle muttered.
I laughed at her comment. “A couple weeks.”
Suddenly Damien whispered, “Make sure you come check man before you leave.”
I shuddered at that low voice. Why was he so close?
“I’m good,” I mumbled.
He gave me a smirk and I looked away. The last time I saw Damien we had a little moment. Truthfully, I don’t find him attractive anymore. Besides, I have Javon.
Sarah cleared her throat loudly. “Right, you’ve all had your fun.” Then her and Rochelle grabbed my hands and began to pull me towards the bus stop. “See you guys tomorrow.”
“But we wanna chat to Stacey.”
“Maybe next time.”
I laughed at how they were all fighting over me. I didn’t realise how appreciated I was by everyone until now. It made me feel welcome once again.
Soon I was curled up on Rochelle’s sofa. It was early evening and Sarah had left to go to her dad’s. I was fine up until now, but decided to tell Chelle about the girl threatening me in court. Rochelle was the only one of my friends who knew about this mess. She listened carefully and her eyes narrowed as she held her mug to her lips.
“What do you mean?” she asked quietly.
“She said I was gonna pay for what I did to David.”
Rochelle took a sip of her tea, paused for a moment, and then placed the mug down calmly before scowling. “Who the fuck is this bitch?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I dunno...never seen her before.” I recalled her harsh words and frowned. If it wasn’t the lawyer giving me a hard time, it was someone else. I can never catch a break.
“Really and truly she’s wasting her time. She has nothing against you. Hell, she wasn’t even there!”
I nodded slowly. “Maybe you’re right.”
“No Stace, I am right. She comes outta fuck knows where tryna intimidate you with her bullshit. I won’t have it. If you ever see her again, tell her that she can try whatever she wants, but you’ll get the justice you deserve. A rapist deserves to go down.”
I considered her words and felt uplifted. Everything she said was absolutely true. This was just her way of threatening me with no real evidence or backup. I didn’t deserve to go to jail. I’m the victim here: not David, not anyone else. Me.
Then I paused. I knew something about her appearance had thrown me off. Her face...
“She looks just like him,” I muttered distantly. I gazed at Rochelle who had a confused expression. “I think she’s his daughter.”
She raised a brow. “David had a daughter?”
“Apparently. Wouldn’t surprise me if that bastard had more than one woman.”
She shuddered and took another sip. “She must think it was intentional and you’re using some kinda alibi.” I sighed and she rubbed my shoulder. “Don’t let her get to you, Stace. You’re gonna win this case, I promise.”
“It’s hard being positive when more than one person is tryna send me to jail.”
She pouted. “Did that bastard lawyer give you problems again?”
“He thinks I tried to seduce David cos I was jealous of him and mum.”
She lurched forward. “What?”
I shook my head, already feeling defeated. “It’s frustrating. There’s only so much I can say, they have all the power in court.”
“You have a lawyer too, so it works both ways. All the evidence is in your favour. It’s not like you’re a mass murderer.”
I rested my head on the cushion and released a heavy breath. “Then why do they treat me like one?”
“Because they’re dicks. And it’s their job.”
“Mm.” Then something dawned on me. “I’m surprised no-one from school knows about this.”
She raised a brow. “Why would they?”
“I thought this case would be in the newspaper. Maybe the Daily Mail or the Sun.”
Rochelle shrugged. “I haven’t seen anything. Besides, no one in school reads newspapers.”
I smiled weakly at how true that was. At least I had nothing to worry about in that aspect.
“Anyway cheer up, hun. Don’t focus on it now, just relax.”
I forced a smile and sat up. “Alright. What’s the latest gossip in school?”
A devious smile spread across Rochelle’s face. “Welll...there was a rumour that Carissa cheated on Michael with Steven. It came out in Maths class today and the two of them got into a fight.”
I gasped dramatically. “But how did Michael find out?”
Her smile grew. “Last week I happened to be walking past the boys gym and heard noises. Guess who I saw having sex in the supply cupboard?”
My eyes widened. “Wait...you saw them?”
She started cackling. “They were goin’ at it, Stace. Doggy style and everything.”
I cringed. Why have sex in school? “So you were the one who spread the rumour?”
She swirled her tea round in the mug and took another thoughtful sip. “It’s hardly a rumour if I actually saw it. I just told Sarah. She’s the one who spread it, with her big mouth.”
I shook my head in disbelief. The events at school never fail to surprise me.
It was just after 8PM when I got in. Jessica was busy on the phone to her lover-boy Harvey while Aunt Pauline relaxed on the sofa reading a newspaper. She saw me enter the lounge and frowned.
“I could’ve picked you up.”
“It’s fine auntie, really.”
Jessica paused her conversation and gave a small smile. “How were the guys at school?”
“Clingy,” I muttered, collapsing beside her. “The boys wouldn’t let me leave.”
She laughed. “They obviously missed you.” Then she spoke through the phone. “Hey Harv, did you see my cousin outside school today?” I heard his deep voice reply and she giggled before turning to me. “He said he saw a pretty girl with purple hair.”
I laughed. “He should’ve said hello.”
“Right?” Then she went back to the phone. “Why are you so damn shy? You should’ve approached her.”
I left her to banter with Harvey and retrieved my phone. I hadn’t heard Mum’s voice in a while, so I decided to give her a quick call. She answered almost instantly.
“Thought you’d forgotten about me!”
I smiled and realised how much I missed her. “No way. Hey, mum.”
“How’re you doing, Stace?”
“Not too bad,” I lied. “How’s the baby?”
“Dying to come out. She’s kicking every two bloody seconds!”
I laughed lightly. “I hope she can wait until I get back.” Only two more weeks...
“I don’t know about that. I almost had a scare yesterday.”
My body jolted in shock. “What happened?”
“Braxton Hicks. Nothing to worry about.”
I sighed heavily and flopped back down. “Don’t do that, mum.”
She laughed. “Sorry. How’s that cow doing?”
“I’m gonna tell auntie you said that. She’s fine, though. Did you wanna say a quick hello?”
“Yeah sure.”
After passing the phone to Aunt Pauline, I released a great breath and shut my eyes. I was becoming more exhausted each day. I couldn’t wait for this ordeal to be over...
Later on that night I received a call from Javon. Fortunately, Jessica was sound asleep. I wasn’t sure what our conversation would turn into, so I’d rather her be unconscious whenever I spoke to him. He was busy telling me about the latest news at work, and how Rebecca and the other workers were behaving. It was interesting to hear how they got on in such an environment.
"It’s nice you’re having fun,” I muttered.
He laughed. “Work isn’t fun, Stace. All we do is fuck around.”
“Fair enough.” I sighed and he paused.
“What’s wrong babe?”
“Just have a lot on my mind lately.” It wasn’t a lie. My thoughts were always occupied with the outcome of this court hearing. I found it hard to concentrate on anything else lately.
“Want me to come round?”
I smiled at the offer. “It’s alright. Just talking to you is fine.”
“Okay... Spoke to Whitney a minute ago, by the way.”
I stiffened as I remembered the girl who he trained with. The same bitch that left her thongs on his bed one time. Thinking about it made my blood boil. “Is that so?”
“Mm. Told her we couldn’t train together anymore and she went on a mad one.”
“Why?”
“Dunno. It doesn’t matter anyway. I wouldn’t keep spending time with her if I knew it upset you.”
“N’aww Jav.”
“Staaace.”
I laughed at the way he cooed my name in return. “I miss this.”
“What?”
“This. Just speaking and having a laugh.”
“Yeah same. I really wanna see you though.”
“You will, I promise. Then we can...y’know...”
He fell silent for a few seconds. “You’re gonna get me excited.”
I giggled. “I never break a promise. Remember we swore we would before I go back to Manchester.”
“I never forgot. I just didn’t wanna bother you with it.”
“How considerate,” I teased. “I’ll make sure to reward you...in any way you want.”
He grunted. “You tryna get me hard?”
“Is it working?”
“Don’t play games, Stace.”
I laughed at his strained voice and decided to change the subject. “How’s your mum? Haven’t spoken to her for ages.”
“She’s been ill for a couple weeks.”
I frowned at that. “Is it really bad?”
“We’re not too sure yet. She’s got a hospital appointment tomorrow, so we’ll see.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
“She’s been vomiting blood an’ that. Chloe’s been looking after her while I’m at work.”
I gasped. Throwing up blood...definitely wasn’t a good sign. And Chloe was taking care of her? It was nice to know my ex-best friend was useful for something.
“I hope it’s nothing dangerous. Tell her I said get well soon.”
“Thanks Stace. I will.”
*
The following morning I was dragged out of bed by Jessica. She wanted to go on a little shopping trip and asked (forced) me to accompany her. She knew I wasn’t in the best of moods, but still insisted, so I had no choice. We strolled through Westfield, sipping on our beverages from Starbucks, and Jess stopped at every...single...store.
“Ooo, Ann Summers! C’mon,” she squealed, practically yanking me into the shop. I sighed at her enthusiasm. Jessica was one of those girls when it came to shopping.
“Really, Jess? You don’t need anything from here.”
“Says who?” She approached the lingerie sets and began to look through them. All of them were skimpy and revealing; I had no idea she was into wearing these kinda things.
“When do you plan to see lover-boy again?” I asked, referring to Harvey.
“Tonight.”
I hummed. “So that’s why.”
She faced me with reddened cheeks and scoffed. “Whatever, I’m only looking.”
“Are you going back to his?”
“...Maybe.”
“So that’s why.”
“Stop saying that,” she nudged me roughly.
I couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped out. Jessica was a very bold person, but extremely shy when it came to intimate things involving herself. It was the only time I could tease her.
Picking out a hot-pink set, I held it up against her body. “This suits you. Harvey would like this.”
She rolled her eyes and looked at the price. “Why the hell is this fifty pound? What’s the point if he’s only gonna take it off me?”
My eyes widened. “Are you two planning on...?”
She looked away and shrugged. “We’ll see what happens.”
I leaned closer to her ear. “Did you shave?”
“Stace!”
“I’m just asking. You never know.”
She shoved me lightly and walked further into the store. I laughed at the blush on her cheeks and followed. We analysed the provocative clothing and flavoured lubes then something caught my eye.
“What...the hell?” Jessica approached it first and pressed the Try me! button. Then it came to life: the lights flashing and the head twirling quickly.
I laughed at her expression. “Have you never seen a Rampant Rabbit before?”
“Why would I have?”
“Everyone has.” The pink and purple lights were dazzling, and the thick dildo made a buzzing noise as it continued to spin. “I’d never use one though.”
“Looks bloody painful...” she bent closer to view it. “Actually, I remember seeing this in France when I was about eight.” I raised a brow in question and she shrugged. “I walked into a sex shop thinking it was a café.”
I laughed loudly and shook my head. “Let’s go, we’re wasting our time here if you’re not gonna buy anything.”
“Wait, I still might.”
I huffed and left her to stare at the toys by herself. I scanned the items in the shop, my facial expression shifting from intrigued, to disgust, back to intrigued again. Then something caught my eye. I quickly approached the erotic clothing and swallowed hard. The design was nice, the colour was inviting, and the price was fairly reasonable. The first thought that came to mind was...
Javon would love this.
Without hesitation, I snatched my size and sped to the counter. I made sure to quickly buy it before Jessica noticed, and stuffed it into my bag with the receipt. Maybe I would never wear it, but the possibility of leaving Javon speechless was a good enough reason to splurge a little.
Finally the shopping trip had come to an end. Jessica managed to buy a few things—lingerie included—and I was glad to be on our way home.
“You didn’t buy anything, Stace,” Jess frowned when she saw my empty hands.
“Today was about you, right? Plus, I can’t think about shopping when I have court again soon.”
“Ugh. When will they have their verdict?”
I shrugged. “Some time next week, I guess?”
“Then after that, you can have some retail therapy.”
I nodded and gave a small smile. “I’ll drag you out next time.”
She laughed and we crossed the road. Once we approached the bus stop, I sat on the bench and brushed shoulders with someone already sat down. I glanced at the guy sat next to me and ended up doing a double take.
“Oh my God... Nathan?”
The person looked down at me and blinked in shock. “Stacey?”
A smile quickly grew on my face. I leaned in to hug him and he squeezed me tight. “You look so different!”
“So do you.” He pulled back and analysed me. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
I shrugged half-heartedly and took in his muscular physique and growing beard. His wonderful eyes were still the same though, and they watched me closely with endearment.
“How’ve you been?” I asked.
"Not bad, been working and that. What about you? How was Manchester?”
“It was great. I’ll be going back soon.”
His face fell. “Already?”
“Yep. I’m only down to see everyone and then I’m heading back.”
“You couldn’t call?”
That disapproving voice made me feel guilty and I looked away briefly. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want to talk to me after all this time.”
He gave a gentle smile and nudged me playfully. “Don’t be dumb, Stace.” Then he leaned closer. “I’ve missed you, y’know.”
I sighed at the deep voice. He had whispered sweet words to me once before...in my room...while touching me. It wasn’t something I could easily forget, and hearing him again brought those memories back.
“Me too,” I muttered.
Someone cleared their throat loudly. I glared up at Jessica, who gave me a knowing look. I rolled my eyes and pulled her closer.
“Nathan, this is my cousin Jessica. Jess, Nathan.”
He held his hand out and shook hers. “You alright?”
She nodded and gave a shy smile. I paused. Since when did she lose her bloody voice?
Nathan looked at her many shopping bags and chuckled. “Shopping spree, yeah?”
Jessica nodded once more, so I decided to talk for her. “She dragged me all over the place today.”
He laughed. “You girls. Always take years to shop for a couple things.”
I nudged him in the rib and he continued to tease. We caught up a little more and he gave me his new number. It wasn’t long before his bus came and he stood up, towering over the both of us. He gave me a departing hug, and I breathed in his scent.
“Will I see you again before you go?”
I nodded, feeling warm in his embrace. “Definitely.”
He pulled back and hugged Jess briefly. “Nice meeting you.”
“You too,” she muttered. He smiled and boarded the bus, then gave me a longing look before the bus drove off.
It was silent for a few moments before Jessica started.
“How do you even know him?”
“He’s just an old work friend.”
“He’s fucking hot!”
I laughed and thought of his charming smirk. “Yeah, he is.”
Our bus came shortly after and we sat towards the back on the bottom deck. Jessica was still gobsmacked by his appearance.
“Have you and him...?” she made hand gestures.
“What? No!” I grabbed her hands and glanced around. Thankfully the bus was empty.
“Why not? He obviously likes you.”
I scoffed and turned to face the window. “I haven’t seen Nathe for a good six months. He’s probably moved on.”
“Have you moved on?”
I hesitated and decided not to answer. I already knew what the reaction would be if I told her, so I remained quiet. We arrived back at Jessica’s and hobbled upstairs to her room, being careful not to wake Aunt Pauline from her routine nap. Jessica dumped her new clothes on the bed and flopped down on her stomach. I lay on the other bed and stared up at the ceiling, feeling completely drained of energy.
“Long day,” I muttered.
“Mm. I gotta meet Harvey soon.” The atmosphere was quiet for a while until Jessica spoke, “You still haven’t answered my question.”
I cursed in my head. Of course she wouldn’t let this go! “What do you want from me, Jess?”
“That Nathan dude is sexy. Do you still like him?”
“No...”
“So you like someone else?” I nodded slowly and she shrugged. “No harm in having two blokes.”
“Jess!”
“What?”
“Stop, you sound like a slag.”
She laughed. “I’m just saying. Two is better than one.”
“I just told you I don’t like Nathan.”
“I saw the way you looked at each other. There’s still something there.”
I shook my head and rested on the pillow. Maybe if I closed my eyes and pretended to fall asleep, she would let it go. “Whatever.”
Suddenly I heard the bed springs shift. “You know what you should do?”
I cracked an eye open and saw Jess looming over me. “Hm?”
She threw my phone down in front of me. I noticed it was already unlocked with Nathan’s number showing.
“Call him,” she deadpanned
“For God’s sake, Jess. When did you get my phone?”
“Don’t worry about it.” She rolled about on the bed with a mischievous smile. “Call him.”
“Why?”
“So you can catch up, get close again, meet up, and fuck.”
“I don’t want that to happen. I have someone already.”
She scoffed in disbelief. “Then why haven’t you spoken about him?”
“You never asked.”
“Don’t gimme that crap! Who is he, Stace?”
My heart thumped loudly. Jessica knew exactly who Javon was. From a young age, we would all play at Chloe’s, and even Jess would admire him. The last thing I wanted was for her to judge me.
I took a deep breath. “Javon.”
She looked puzzled for a moment, but then her eyes widened and she sat up in shock. “Wait...Chloe’s brother?”
“Yeah.”
She looked troubled. “Does Chloe know?”
“Yep.”
“Wow...”
“We’re not friends anymore though.”
“So you shag her brother?”
I sighed. “We haven’t had sex yet.”
Jessica fell silent, still getting her head around this information. “How did that even happen?”
I shrugged and turned onto my stomach, playing with the duvet covers. “Okay... Remember we used to like him when we were younger?”
“Yeah, he was buff.”
“Well, apparently he liked me back then as well. We used to...do things...when we were alone.”
She raised a brow. “What things?”
I looked away from her gaze, now feeling small. “Things,” I repeated quietly. “I was too young to understand at the time. He would touch me and stuff.”
She sprung up instantly. “You never told me this!”
“Why would I tell you?”
“I dunno... But still, this is big.”
I shrugged. “Not really. We spoke about it and decided to give it a go.”
“What a romantic story.” I turned to scowl at her sarcasm and she smiled sweetly. “I wonder what he looks like now.”
“He’s hot,” I muttered.
She laughed. “Why ain’t you banged yet?”
“We made a deal to not have sex until I came back.”
She watched me curiously. “Well you’ve been back for a while now.”
“I know...but...” I frowned. “I haven’t told him this, but I’m waiting until my sentence. I wanna see how this ends first.”
“Does he even know about this trial?”
“No way. I wouldn’t tell him something like that.”
She nodded slowly. “So basically, after this trial thing, you’ll fuck him?”
I laughed quietly with a blush. “Why would you put it like that?”
“That’s what you’re telling me.”
Her bluntness really did amaze me. “Yeah...basically.”
She began to tease me and hit me with her pillow. It was weird to think about; that we would actually seal the deal with something so intimate. I was suddenly a lot more aware of the Ann Summers item that was still stuffed inside my bag, hidden away until the day I would wear it.
*
The following week was literally hell for me. Once again I was stuck in this eerie courtroom, the centre of attention, being judged by everyone else. My back was burning from the amount of stares I received from behind. No matter how many times I sat in this room, the vibe that it gave off was always unnerving for me. Thankfully, I knew amidst the critical glares, Aunt Pauline and Jessica was somewhere in the crowd routing for me, and Rochelle was here this time too.
Mr Lawrence, my solicitor, saw my apprehension and flashed an encouraging smile. It was his turn to give his final speech. This was the last court hearing that determined my future, and it made me feel extremely tense. Having already spoken to an interpreter and pleaded Not Guilty, I had nothing left to do but hope and pray.
Judge Sherry kept a stoic face and stiff upper lip as she shuffled through some papers. “Please remain seated for the final hearing. The records will show the presence of the jury, defendant, and our council. Mr Lawrence, if you will.”
He stood up and cleared his throat. “Yes, Stacey Coleman killed Mr Johnson; the law would even say she murdered him...but who is the real victim?”
I watched as he paced around the courtroom. He kept a steady eye on the jurors and the judge, articulating each word, which seemed to have some effect.
He continued, “The evidence and the testimony in this trial have shown that Stacey was the victim of repeated harassment in her home. She had no place to hide or run. If a man abuses a child, do we protect him or the child? If a man abuses his wife, do we protect him or the wife? If a man rapes a woman, do we protect him or the woman?
“In this state, a murderers debt to society is life imprisonment. Where was society when David Johnson was abusing his partner’s daughter? And now that she has gone and finally defended herself, society suggests that she be punished for the rest of her life? That may be the law, but is it justice? Thank you.” He bowed his head respectively before sitting back down. I gave a weak smile in thanks and felt the stiffness in my muscles loosen slightly.
Judge Sherry nodded and looked to the other side of the court. “Mr Shaw,” she beckoned.
Then the bastard came into view, clad in a sharp suit and walking with an air of confidence about him. His eyes locked with mine and his expression hardened before he cleared his throat.
“Everyone in this courtroom may feel some sympathy for Stacey, but that does not excuse her for murdering her stepdad.”
I cringed at that word again. Murder.
Mr Shaw walked to the other end of the court. “She didn’t seek help from the law; instead she took the law into her own hands. She arrested him, she charged him, she tried him, and she found him guilty...and then she executed him. But she had no right to do any of those things. Enforcement of the law is reserved solely to the state. This is really a simple matter: Stacey committed murder, and she should be punished under the law.”
I noticed the count clerks writing up some notes by the bench while the barristers watched on, one of them fiddling with their gown and wig.
Mr Shaw went on, “With regards to Exhibit B, I want to ask the defendant a few more questions before the verdict.”
The atmosphere became tense as everyone waited for what was to come next. My chest tightened at the impending fear of what he would interrogate me about next. This guy seriously didn’t like me.
“Now,” he said loudly, holding a picture up for me to see. “I show you Exhibit B and ask if you recognise this scene.”
My body stiffened at what he held in his hands. It was an image of the kitchen...my kitchen...where I had stabbed David. Blood was all over the counter and floor, and various fingerprints were seen on the kitchen table. No doubt the forensics had a hard time deciphering what the hell took place that day. I had to stop myself from retching at the graphic photo.
“I recognise it,” I muttered, swallowing the sickly lump in my throat.
“Miss Coleman, can you tell me exactly where you were stood when this took place?”
The lump wouldn’t go down. I cleared my throat nervously. “By the counter.”
“And you just happened to see the knife, so you saw the opportunity and grabbed it. Correct?”
“Yes.”
"And when he began to provoke you, had you ignored and had he, if he wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on him not to do so, would he have, meaning both you and him, committed the same felony?"
I blinked in confusion and Mr Lawrence tutted.
"Objection. That question was completely unnecessary and illogical."
Judge Sherry gave a slight roll to her eyes and dismissed the question. Mr Shaw was really trying to confuse me, and honestly...it was working.
He placed the picture down and I breathed deeply, trying to calm my nerves. Apart from the trick question, I was expecting a lot worse from him. He was sly in how he did his job, and I didn’t want to tread on any more thin ice.
I was surprised when a middle-aged black woman was called to the stand. She was pretty and well refined, but I couldn’t tell what profession she belonged to. I noticed her glance at someone in the public gallery and turned to see Kimberly sat towards the back. Suddenly I remembered who she was: the pathologist who had discovered the cause of David’s death.
“Doctor Reeves, do you recall the approximate time that you examined the body of Mr Johnson at Northwick Hospital?”
“It was in the evening. The autopsy started at 8:30 PM.”
“Did the wounds match the weapon used, in regards to Exhibit A?”
She nodded. “Yes, but there were other natural causes.” My brow rose and the entire court fell silent. “Although the wound caused by the knife dealt a considerable amount of damage to Mr Johnson’s lung, that was not what killed him.”
Mr Shaw paused and leaned against the wooden table, taken aback by the sudden information. “Are you sure, Doctor Reeves?”
“Absolutely. At first, we deemed that Mr Johnson suffered a heart attack from the general shock of pain, which is a common incidence in cases such as these. But upon further examination, our team saw that he was stabbed in the upper lobe of the lung.”
My ears were ringing with all of these words being thrown about. My heart thudded as I listened closely.
She continued, “Normally, that section of the lung being pierced would not be life-threatening, but considering the excessive amount of alcohol and tobacco that was stored in his system, Mr Johnson had unhealthy lungs that quickly gave out the minute the upper lobe was punctured.”
Mr Shaw had a troubled look on his face. “So what conclusion did you come to, Doctor?”
Doctor Reeves folded her arms and proceeded to explain. “The knife was not fully lodged within Mr Johnson’s chest, meaning he was still alive at the scene. It was the genuine shock—mixed with the carcinogen toxins in his lungs—that killed him. During our inspection on his lungs, it was evident that he was suffering with mild cancer for the past five months. His lungs were bound to shut down on him soon.” She looked at me briefly, and I saw the tiniest of smiles on her lips. “In short, Mr Johnson would have eventually passed away due to Mesothelioma: a less common type of lung cancer that covers the pleura and lining within the chest. Meaning, essentially, that Miss Coleman was not the cause of his death.”
My breath hitched in my throat and I felt my knees wobble. Hearing all of this fully explained made tears come to my eyes. Was this even real? I really didn’t kill David?
I saw the slight scowl on Mr Shaw’s face as he waved her on dismissively. “Thank you, Doctor Reeves.”
She excused herself from the stand and handed him a few papers. “Here are the medical documents, in case you want to check.”
“That is all very well,” he practically growled.
I had to fight the laugh that bubbled up. He was seriously pissed that this new revelation had shitted all over his plans. There was no way I’d go down after this!
As Doctor Reeves walked by, she gave a little wink and I smiled in return. She had all the medical evidence that proves that I was practically innocent. This last piece of detail miraculously boosted my willpower. David would have passed away sooner or later. He had cancer, but didn’t even know it. Me stabbing him did nothing to change his fate. Although I shouldn’t have done it, I was relieved to know I wouldn’t be branded a murderer. It was only self-defence.
Thanks to her, I was assured once again. I faced Mr Shaw with a new expression on my face, one he had not seen before today: confidence.
He glared back and gathered all the papers before sitting back in his spot. Judge Sherry then called the clerk to begin the verdict. Suddenly the air became tense, and everyone was silent.
A white woman dressed in a black blazer and pencil skirt stood up, holding a sheet of paper. “Will the jury foreman please rise?”
Suddenly shuffling was heard, and around nine jurors stood, both men and women, looking stern and professional.
The clerk continued, “Members of the jury, have you unanimously agreed upon your verdict?”
One man in particular nodded. “We have.”
“On the first count of the murder of David Johnson, do you find the accused Guilty, or Not Guilty?”
My heart literally whacked against my ribcage and I stiffened with anxiety. Everyone else in the courtroom had become incredibly still. The suspense and silence was deafening, and I gulped through a tense throat. I was hyperaware of my actions; if I breathed too heavily now, I wouldn’t hear the verdict.
Whatever came out of this juror’s mouth would either make or break my resolve. I knew I was innocent, so did Aunt Pauline, Jessica and Rochelle. What mattered the most, though, is what they thought. Their judgment mattered...especially now.
The juror cleared his throat. “We find the defendant...”