2 years later
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about that day. The day I broke my own heart all over again and the day I lost the love of my life. Even going to another state for school couldn't stop the hurt I was feeling. I tried contacting Evan afterwards but he would never answer the phone. I wanted him to know how much he meant to me but I couldn't tell him why I had to leave. If the situation were different, I would still be wrapped up in his arms with a wedding ring on my finger.
But it was for the best. But now it was time to stop running.
"You have everything?" Uncle Lawerence asked me as I closed the U-haul truck, "Because we ain't coming back."
"If I left it," I said walking towards him, "It was meant to be left."
We were moving out of my studio apartment and I was glad to be going home. My uncle nodded and I could feel a little bit of his sweat come off his head. I squinted as he wiped his forehead with the bottom of his black shirt. He walked towards his side of the truck as I walked towards the passenger side. I could hear my brother's voice as I approached and could easily tell who he was talking to.
"Yes baby," he smiled, "We'll be back in two days."
I could already tell by the way Darrius wiped his hand across his annoyed face that Caleb was whining about how long that will be. It didn't matter that it took a whole two days drive, Caleb expected my brother to be back by tonight like he was Flash. I laughed getting into the truck and listened as he continued the conversation.
"Chill out! You see me everyday!" He laughed awkwardly, "What is two days?"
I could hear what he said clearly and I couldn't help but joke about it when I said, "Oh so he misses daddy dick."
Darrius hit me on my shoulder out of embarrassment and told Caleb he would call him back once we find a hotel to stay in. I continued to laugh as he hung up and Uncle Lawrence got back in the car. He looked at us curious as to why Darrius was glaring at me as I laughed.
"Do I want to ask?" He said out loud to himself before waiting to say, "No, I just want to sleep."
We all laughed in agreement. I had a lot of things to move and I had to move into my new place on arriving to Dallas. So, I'm sorry Caleb but he was going to have to wait for Darrius a little longer.
Everyone was buckled in now and we took off towards our next destination. As we drove by the scenery, I was just happy that I was on my journey home. California was a nice escape but I missed everyone at home. From my best friend Kevin to Darrius's crazy friend Tre, I missed all of them. I also had to make things right between Evan and I.
I know that he wouldn't be happy to see me but at least I would be trying to salvage whatever relationship we had left. I sat back against the seat while Darrius texted on his phone. I could feel myself drifting off as we were almost out and I closed my eyes as I saw the sign that we were leaving.
**
We stopped in New Mexico for the night and my Uncle paid for the stay. We had separate rooms since we would only be staying for one night but Darrius took it up on himself to come into mine. I turned to my older brother confused as he closed the door behind him and he sighed sliding down the door before saying, "Why does a wedding have to be so stressful?"
I snickered as I threw my bag down and answered, "You're the one that wanted to get married bro."
"Yeah," he said getting up, "But dealing with two Johnsons is getting on my last nerve!"
"Wait?" I stopped him excitedly plopping onto my bed, "Chris and Harry are back?"
"Yes," he rolled his brown eyes, "And my brother-in-law is working my last nerve."
He paused and I could only laugh at the frustration my brother had in his body language. His shoulders were tense and the famous vein in his temple was throbbing. However, I didn't miss the way his body had changed. His shoulders were wider underneath his black shirt and his bigger leg muscles were on display underneath his basketball shorts. His chocolate skin looked clearer and his waves never looked better. And...do I see a beard growing in?
"What?" He said heading towards a chair, "Do I look ugly or something because you know Uncle Lawrence don't tell nobody shit."
"No stupid," I laughed, "You look good bro."
He gave me that cocky smile as he fell back into the chair to say, "You know I'm making it as good as I can."
"I should have never said anything," I joked and he laughed before he said, "That's what being in love will do to you."
"You were just complaining about him," I stated. He shrugged his shoulders putting his leg across the chair to say, "And?"
"You're a mess big brother," I laughed. Then as I got comfortable on the bed, he decides to ask me, "So what's going on between you and Evan?"
Just the mention of his name out loud brought me back to that day. I couldn't even look at him as he waited for my answer. I could only hear Evan telling me to stay and my heart shattering as I left the car. I couldn't tell him the real reason why, so I just settled for, "We just grew apart I guess."
"That is bs!" He said and I looked at him as he continued, "I know when you lying Marc. Plus, Evan ain't so good either. So y'all might as well start saying something or I'm going to go digging."
I begin to laugh and he frowned, "What are you laughing for?"
"Dude, you can't even find matching socks in your drawer," I laughed, "That's why you buy the same color socks. Being an investigator is not your calling."
I couldn't help but fall over as he glared at me. Then he said, "We will see but anyway, where are you going to be working at when we get home?"
I stopped my laughing and answered, "Uhm..ha...I'm going to be working at the same company. They have a studio in Dallas."
"You talking about the magazine people?" He says and I nod. I had been working for this fashion magazine called Confidential Fashion. I do most of the entry photography work but they also use my paintings as backgrounds. So, I get paid double. It was alright in LA but in Texas it's more than enough for a new place.
"Yes D," I answered, "Uncle and I already picked out an apartment for me too so I won't disturb his groove with Ms.Patterson."
Darrius smiled evilly probably thinking about Chris's reaction to them having a relationship. It wasn't weird for us because if they got married we would finally be related somehow but even if they didn't Chris was still like our brother. He was the only other person that vouched for Evan when everyone hated him, including myself.
My mood took a turn as I let that sink in. In Chris's eyes I couldn't do wrong and I couldn't possibly tell him all his meddling went to mush because of me. Suddenly, I felt exhausted and Darrius could tell by the way he jumped up and said, "Well, we had a long day so...I'm going to let you get some sleep."
I just nodded as he went towards the door. Then he stopped, turning to look over at me to say, "I'm glad you decided to come home."
I smiled at my older brother before waving goodbye. He smiled back, leaving me alone with the worrying thoughts in my head. That's when I begin to sink further into the bed. It was all too familiar feeling for me. Questions about how everyone would take me being back and who would find out? Tears begin to flow as the second question begins to cloud my head. I felt selfish because I knew the possibility of coming back would put Evan and Gabe in danger. However, I missed them so much it became painful.
So, I had to make a decision for myself for once. No one was going to take my happiness from me. Not by threat or intimidation. Not anymore.
**
"I missed you so much," Caleb yelled running up to hug me at the rental truck. He had also had some changes to his body with his arms being a bit bigger than before and the little scruff on his face. Of course, he was wearing his usual t-shirt and khaki shorts ensemble with sneakers. Something I knew his brother would frown up on.
"I missed you too," I hugged him back, "I guess my brother told you where I was staying?"
"Yes," he answered pulling back, "Because he needed a ride home and wanted someone else to suffer moving in your stuff."
"I love you," Darrius said coming up behind his fiancée with a canvas and giving him a kiss on the cheek, "Now help us with this so we can get home quicker."
With a small eye roll, Caleb got to work. I had already opened my apartment door so everyone could get in. After opening the door, everyone just stared at how big the space was. It was nothing to my brothers but it was still huge for a one bedroom. What I really liked about this place was the kitchen and the bathroom. Both were painted a nice white color but the marble counter tops to match were the icing on the cake. The shower was also a stand in which I loved because baths and I don't get along.
The rest of the day was filled in with setting everything up, Darrius almost breaking two of my lamps, and Uncle Lawerence being confused about half of the pictures in my apartment. Once everything was organized, I sent my family on their way.
"So, you just going to kick us out like that," Darrius groaned as I held open the door, "No refreshments provided or nothing?"
"You have refreshments at home," I told him and he grabbed Caleb's hand and smiled, "Yeah I got one of them right here."
Caleb's cheeks glowed red as they walked past me. The way they ran down the stairs told me they wouldn't even make it home before they start enjoying their "refreshments". Uncle Lawrence came out after, taking one last look at me before asking, "You sure you got everything covered?"
I nodded reassuring him as he continued to look at me with a straight lip and worried eyes. Then he asked, "Are you going be okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine," I told him, "I was on my own for a year in Cali. Dallas shouldn't be any different."
He cracked a small smile before pulling me in to hug me. Then he whispered, "Call me if you need anything."
He let me out of his embrace before leaving me to my new apartment. I hurriedly ran towards my lovely king size bed and heavenly baby blue sheets. I would think about getting in the shower later but I more than likely would sleep until the morning. I turned on my back, drowning in my sheets before the thoughts came back.
"You are putting them in danger!"
"How could you be so selfish!"
"You should have stayed gone!"
Funny how each one of those voices sounded just like the person that threatened me.
The same person who wouldn't give me any peace until I left Texas.
The same person who I thought could never hurt a fly but turned out to be the devil in reincarnation.
I was done with Corey Jones trying to ruin my happiness if it didn't involve him. I let the voices subside and fell deeper into sleep. However, I woke sweating about two hours later. I've been having this dream but it became much more vivid than the times before. In my dream I could hear gun shots then images of Evan and Gabe laying on the floor soaked in blood as Corey evilly smiled over them. This time I could smell the gun powder around the room and when I touched Gabe's limp body, I couldn't take it.
Maybe I did make the wrong decision coming back but there was no returning to California. I had to fight this. I struggled to get back to sleep that night because I couldn't stop myself from crying. Eventually, I couldn't hold my eyes open and thank God that all I dreamed about was darkness.