*FIVE YEARS LATER*
"Honey, please come help in the kitchen!" I yelled, trying to keep myself from exploding. There were toys everywhere, my phone kept ringing, and I let out a curse word as I stepped on something pointy.
"Language in front of our child," Steve warned, a playful smile on his lips.
"Like he understands," I responded, sticking my tongue out at my husband.
"Well he understands your tone," Steve said, bending down to pet our brand new addition. "And we don't like that negativity."
Steve said the last part in a baby voice as his picked up our six month old golden retriever.
"Well watch the stove, my phone hasn't stopped in the last ten minutes," I instructed before handing over the spatula I had been holding.
"Don't forget we have a meeting!" Steve reminded me, I felt my heart stop for a moment. I had forgotten all about it. The last few times I was able to come up with an excuse to get out of going. I could never quite sit still. My guilt always bubbled to the top and I felt sick after each meeting.
"Okay, well I haven't been feeling the best," I tried, before my phone rang again. Saved by the bell. I grabbed my phone before Steve could say anything else and I darted into our bedroom.
"Nat?" I asked, knowing she wouldn't be calling so urgently over nothing.
"It's getting worse," she said into the phone. My heart dropped again, my emotions were a rollercoaster this afternoon.
"Where was he last seen?" I asked, quieting my voice. Steve didn't know I was still keeping tabs going on Clint.
"Somewhere in Madrid," Natasha told me. "He's moving quick. There's no telling where he is now. Our intel on his whereabouts aren't always accurate."
I let out a sigh, we would have to fix this sooner or later.
"What are we going to do?" I asked her, my voice sounding defeated.
"Maybe not play house?" Natasha answered back. I sucked in a deep breathe, trying to hold my tongue.
"Ouch," I responded weakly.
"Look, I'm sorry that was a low blow, but we need you."
"I don't know what more I can do," I told her. "There's nothing left Nat."
"I need you here, helping me. I need someone to help keep things straight," she told me. I knew she must be at a breaking point, to actually ask for help.
I let out another sigh, this was one in defeat.
"Okay, I'll be there. Steve and I have a survivors meeting, but I'll come by the compound once it's over. He's not going to let me miss another one."
"Have you been training?" Natashas asked.
"Yes, don't worry. I'm still in tip-top shape."
I could almost feel the smile on the other end of the phone.
"I'll see you today then."
The phone went silent as she hung up. I threw the phone onto the bed and stood staring at the wall for a moment. What was I getting into? I knew she needed my help, but more can be done?
"What was that about?" Steve asked, walking into our room, Rover right behind me. I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I looked at the two of them; my boys.
"It was Nat, she uh wants me to come by. After the meeting of course," I told him, knowing he would like it if I attended this one.
"Is she in trouble?"
"No more than any of us are," I said.
"How are you doing by the way?" he asked me, grabbing my hands and pulling me into his lap, the two of us falling onto the bed.
"I'm fine."
"Mo.."
"Really, I'm fine! I just feel as if the world is depending on us and there's nothing we can do. We're stuck in the world Thanos created or the world he destroyed."
"I know.."
"How are you doing Steve?" I asked him, and I caught his eyes before he could look away. "How are you really doing? You hold it together so well, but you can fall apart in front of me, if you need to."
"I know," he told me, rubbing my hand. "I think we're all doing the best we can with what we have. I think we got lucky in a sense, we still have each other, while so many were left with no one."
"Do you ever think about where we'd be? You know, if the snap never happened?"
"All the time," he admitted.
"Me too. I always wonder if you would have forgiven me," I said, almost at a whisper.
"For what?"
"For the reason our family, well our person family, will never be bigger than two..."
"Oh sweetheart," he began, but I cut him off.
"No, I really do wonder if we could have moved forward. If the world hadn't been falling apart right in front of our faces, would you have been able to look past it?" I asked him.
"I would have. It would have been hard, but you're the love of my life," he assured me, kissing me deeply as he finished his sentence. "I love you."
"I love you."
Then, our moment was interrupted by an alarm going off.
"It's time for our meeting," Steve said. "We've got to get going."
~~~
We walked into the dimly lit room, small chairs were formed into a circle. I took a seat next to Steve and looked around warily. The meetings never made me feel better, they always made me feel worse.
"Went on a date the other day, first time in five years. We're sitting at dinner and I didn't even know what to talk about," a man with glasses told the circle. We all listened intently.
"Well, what did you talk about?" Steve asked him.
"Same ole crap... about how things have changed. My job, his job, how we missed the Mets. Then things got quiet and then he cried as they were serving the salads," he told us, his words coming out slowly.
"What about you?" another man asked.
"I cried before dessert," he admitted. "But I'm seeing him again tomorrow so.."
"That's great though," Steve told him. "You did the hardest part, you took the jump you didn't know where you were gonna come down."
I sat silently as Steve continued to speak.
"That's it those are the brave baby steps we have to take to try and become whole again, to try to find purpose. I went into the ice after meeting someone I loved, woke up 75 years later not knowing what my purpose was. Until I found what my true purpose was," Steve said, squeezing my leg. "You gotta move on."
"You gotta move on," I said, mimicking his words.
~A/N Here's another chapter for you awesome people!
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