BACK TO THE BEGINNING - see chapter one if confused
"It can't go on like this Alex, it's been months since the funeral and she's still not, well, sober."
Lara, Alex and Jamie sat together in the kitchen on a sunny afternoon, Danny was passed out on the couch.
"She's ok, she's getting better." Alex knew better was probably an overstatement but said it anyway.
"Maria's not going to put up with this."
"Well Maria doesn't bloody have to if she doesn't want to! I'm looking after our friend. Are you gonna do it? No, didn't think so."
"Do you think it's worth trying to get hold of Rachel?" Jamie asked tentatively
"Why would I? This hasn't got anything to do with her. Danny is grieving."
"Danny hasn't been the same since Rachel left, Alice passing is another thing she's dealing with yes, but do you not think Rachel might be the root cause here?"
"No I doubt it. I think she feels like she has no one and everyone she cares about just leaves her."
"Apart from you?" Lara asked, she watched Alex shrug and she had to walk away, Alex was so blindsided by her obsession with Danny she was unable to see what would actually help her.
Yesterday Lara had walked into the kitchen and saw them fucking against the wall. They had both looked completely surprised, Danny just pulled away, grabbed her bag and the open bottle of Jack that's become her favourite accessory, walked into her room and slammed the door. Lara had tried to talk to Alex about it but she just kept brushing her off. Jamie was no help at all, it's like he wanted to be there for the fun stuff but as soon as shit got real he scarpered.
Lara had walked out the house and down the road, only escaping her thoughts as she smelt the familiar smell of stale alcohol and realised where she was and how far she'd walked. She went up to the bar and made eye contact with Steph who was chatting with one of the regulars.
"Hey, you've missed Danny, Alex took her home." She explained, positioning herself opposite the customer.
"I know. I've just escaped. Can you make me something really strong please." Lara played with her bank card between her fingers as she waited for her beverage.
"She's been a bit of a handful I hear."
She mixed Lara's drink without measuring any of the spirits, resulting in an odd purple concoction.
"Well we all expected it, even you said it at the funeral. This week though, she's really excelled herself. How are you doing anyway?"
"Yeah, not too bad. Still find it quite hard going into the flat but I'm getting there, one day at a time. It was pretty horrendous, I'm still having flashbacks of her bleeding." She passed her the drink but refused to take any money for it.
"Jeez, I'm sorry, if there's anything I can do."
"Yeah, you can sort Danny out for me. I don't have the energy but I need her to be ok."
"We've all tried, honestly."
"Some more than others." Steph raised her eyebrows as she placed the clean glasses back on the shelf.
"You know about Alex and Danny?"
"Alex couldn't help but make it pretty obvious in here the other day, it was quite comical to be honest. Have any of you heard from Rachel?"
"No, the only people that have her number is Danny and Alex."
"So Danny hasn't called her?"
"No not that I know of, it's probably the last thing she'd do. Why?
"Come through to the office for a minute. Steve, cover the bar." She bellowed, lifting up the divider and letting Lara through.
The office appeared to the untrained eye as a complete mess but Steph was very proud of her unorganised system.
"Right, sorry, so one night ages ago Danny came in, got hammered and started crying!"
"She what?"
"I know! So Alice did her thing and next minute, Rachel's in the bar. They ended up staying over, anyway, long story short; Alice gave Danny a ring of hers the following morning and told her she was to give it to Rachel when the time was right."
"That's sweet but did she even know Rachel?"
"No! You know what she's like. Was like. If she took a shine to you that was it, you were hers. If she didn't like you, god help you! Apparently the morning after they stayed, Danny told Alice she was in love with Rachel.
"No way. Like she actually said the words 'I love Rachel' did she?"
"I don't know! I only have what Alice told me but if she did say it, that's huge!!"
"Not now. Danny told Rachel to go when she found out she wanted to get preggers."
"Yeah she told me that."
"So now she's fucking Alex again!"
"I know but what about Alex's girlfriend? They weren't exactly sly in here the other night, you've seen Dan when she's drunk."
"I don't know what's going to happen with Alex and Maria. I'm pretty sure Danny has no idea who she's screwing at the moment."
"Whatever it takes to make the pain go away, we've all been there."
"It's going to take Rachel to do that. I just need to work out a way to get them back in the same room and actually listen to each other."
"You know if that doesn't work we may never get Danny back and I don't know about you but I miss her. Drunk Danny's an idiot."
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Lara felt the alcohol warm her during the walk back to the house, the street lights illuminated her way home as cars sped past while she thought about what she would say to Danny.
Smelling the food in the kitchen before entering, she was pleased she'd soon have something to soak up the strong drink from earlier.
"Where is she?"
"She's in the basement." Alex answered, her head firmly in the cookbook.
Lara made sure she walked sensibly down the stairs knowing she didn't have full control over her limbs. Knocking on the door loudly so as to be heard over the music, she waited patiently for the door to be unlocked.
Danny's face was solemn and sad, Lara struggled to remember the last time she saw her smile and figured it must've been Maria's party months ago.
"Hey, can I come in and have a word." She asked tentatively.
There was no reply but the door opened and Lara took the hint, she noticed how different it looked, there were no photographs drying and there seemed to be nothing else in the room apart from crap and a locked box.
"What on earth have you been doing in here?"
"Nothing. Hiding away from the world." She suckled at her bottle of JD.
"Well that's what I'm here to talk to you about actually."
"Oh good, that's just what I need, another heart to heart. She's dead. Gone. Worm food. I don't need to talk about it anymore, I just need to be alone, thank you kindly."
"I wanted to talk to you about Rachel actually."
"Nope, not her today either thank you."
"Listen here you little shit. You keep putting this off and she'll have gone, moved on if she hasn't already and you'll have missed your chance, all while your hiding down here feeling sorry for your fucking self. You need to grow up and take some responsibility." She figured they'd tried everything else apart from tough love so why not?
"Look it's done, it is what it is."
"Will you stop saying that. It is what you fucking make it, you just refuse to try."
"She's getting married and wants a baby. I've had my fun with a lot of attached people and this is no different. I'm telling you, like I told her, I can't give her what she wants."
"You haven't even tried, you heard the word baby and fucking panicked. What about moving in together, taking it slow, would she do that?"
"I don't know."
"Exactly because you didn't fucking ask, shit got real and you said fuck off. You've put yourself about horrendously these last couple of months."
"Are you slut shaming me? That's fucking rich."
"No I am not but I am drunk shaming you. Can you even remember the names of all the girls you slept with recently? You've got Alex in the kitchen playing fucking Stepford wives! You can't use her like that it's not fair."
"I'm sorry you walked in on that the other day, it isn't something I'm proud of but believe me when I say it was a question of fucking her or hitting her. I like to think I chose the option John Lennon would be proud of."
"Are you happy? Why am I the only one that can see how happy Rachel made you."
"Your probably not, your just the only one that insists on dragging it up every five minutes."
"Can't you just go see her? Have a conversation."
"She's not there."
"How do you know?"
Danny paused before answering, she'd been losing track of who she'd been telling what, probably due to her insistence on pickling her liver.
"I walked to hers the night Alice... She wasn't in, her car was gone. I went back a couple of days later and the neighbour told me the flats up for rent, he hadn't seen anyone in ages. She's gone to America with him. I'm not cross, I told her to go."
"Why did you go there?"
"I wanted to ask her a question but it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters." She took another swig of JD.
"Were you going to ask her to marry you?"
"No I was not! I was going to just ask her to sort of be with me."
"Right well we can work on that once we've found her."
"No, no, no, we're not finding anyone, we're not doing anything. It is -"
"What it is?" Lara asked her smiling, knowing she'd caught Danny in a trap. "Listen, what can you lose? No offence Danny but you've got fuck all as it is, just us and possibly Steph. If Rachel says no, we'll deal with it but you have to try Dan. If you really want to be with Rachel, moping around here fucking everything that moves and drinking till you pass out isn't gonna do you any favours. You carry on the way your going, you won't have Rachel and you'll have probably lost Alex too."
"I'll try, maybe not with Rachel but I'll get my shit together."
"Please just ring her."
"Nah, over the phone thing's weird. I haven't spoken to her in months."
"So your just expecting her to turn up at the door?"
"No I just ... she's gone, she's moved on."
"How do you know she's moved on, you don't even know where she is. I'm going to stalk her right now."
"No you will not. You know my feelings on social media."
"We all know your feelings on social media." She said, rolling her eyes as she got her phone out anyway. She flicked through Alex's friends list and found Rachel Harrison's profile.
"There's recent pictures on here her sister's put on."
"That's nice." Danny refused to look at them, she'd been tortured by her own pictures of Rachel this past month, she didn't need any reminders of how beautiful she is.
"I can't tell where they are though. Bollocks. You know who we need? We need Alex."
"No definitely not, let's just leave it eh? At least we can say we tried."
"We've barely scratched the surface, you need to make a decision if you really want to do this, right now."
She tried to hold it in but tears formed at her eyes and no matter how much she tried to wipe them away with her sleeve they just kept rolling down her face. She took another swig of JD and screwed the lid on slowly.
"I want Rachel."