"Rahein judaa kyun ho gayi?
Na tu galat, na main sahi."
~Tere Mere
By
Armaan Malik
✿
(The present: 26 August 2018)
Smriti's POV
I take the Popcorn, Colas, all of the snacks and go to the hall to sit on the couch for watching the movie. We that is me and roomates, were having our 'movie day' ritual.
I lived with James and roomates now, because I was 18. It was a thing in London that everyone above was 18 was kinda kicked out of the home to be independent with financial support from the parents.
So here was I, Smriti R.P, 18 years old. Staying with my 'new' brother and his roomates and studying in Oxford University. Depressed, suffering from anxiety as well, almost-adjusted to the life in London. And well, swearing a lot. Shirali hated that, so she's gonna scold me. Lol. But I have do have Harshitha for some company. And I have a British accent now, which is damn cool.
I go the couch and see Sam and Isabella making out. "Guys stop making out or get a fucking room, for god's sake.", I groan at them and they finally stop it. They're too much in love that it's disgusting.
Sam was 19 and was an international cricketer who happened to be my brother's best friend. Looks like cricketers never leave me, huh?
About Sam: he was this crazy guy who had this 'idgaf', life of the party and party-boy type of a character.
And his girlfriend Isabella (or Bella, as we called her) also lived with us, she was also the 'idgaf' girl but she was kind of a quiet person, unlike Sam. They were still in they're what we call the 'honeymoon' stage of their relationship.
"Which movie are we watching?", Bella asks us.
"I don't know which one but it's definitely not a romantic one. We all are fed up of seeing you and Sam make out like a pair of slugs everytime the male and female lead in the movie do it.", I complain and laugh.
"Wassup bitches??", James or can I say, my 'new' brother comes in and literally jumps on the couch.
"Language.", I mutter a Captain America dialogue from Avengers:Age Of Ultron.
"Wait... Are we watching Avengers: Age Of Ultron.", Sam asks.
"Yes we are. So finally god put some brains into your dumb-ass brain huh?", I sass him.
"You aren't funny.", he retorts.
"I wasn't trying to be.", I tell and poke my tongue out at him.
"Oh stop it both of you.", James cuts me and stops our banter.
James was the eldest of all of us, he was 20. He has kind of the 'dad' sometimes but then he was the craziest (to the highest extent) yet a very caring person. But don't even ask me how he is when he's drunk.
"Guys no movies with dirty scenes.", Thanusha (our Indian roomate whom James mentioned) sits on couch and tells us. "We won't Thanu, chill.", I reassure her.
So here's Thanusha: the most sanskari South Indian girl. She was a Tamilian, just like me. But very sanskari: she never swore, never listened to English music with swear words like us and did any other 'dirty thing', no crushes, no boyfriends. And it the coincidence was that she was my classmate and close friend when I was 8th and 9th grade in Bangalore, before I shifted to Chandigarh. Which means that she was also 18, like me.
"So we ready?", Clay comes.
"Yes we were waiting for you to come, your majesty.", James tells.
"Oh shut the fuck up mate", Clay swears. Well to be honest, I wasn't used to this much of swearing. But people over here did it like all the time, so I had to get used to it. He sits next to me.
Clay was the same age as me, 18 and the most relatable person in the room (only to me). He is also suffering from depression and anxiety and had this thing for a girl called Hannah, who messed up everything. Just like Shubman. Ok not exactly like what he did, but she messed up.
We were really close, but I couldn't call him my best friend. We even got matching semicolon tattoos to mark our mental health journey. (A/N: Please search it on Google, the concept of that tattoo is really beautiful!) Thanks to my great cricketer, ex-bestie in India, I've been having developing trust issues. And that made me not call Clay my best friend and only a close friend.
We start watching the movie and while we wait for the post-credits scene, a message comes from my mom.
From Mom💛:
You sure you and James can come for the dinner toady right?
To Mom💛:
We are Mom!! Will drop a message before we come.
Me and James always go to our parents' home for dinner everything. We need to be with them as well right?
I go into the Gallery of my phone and scroll to old pictures. I found pictures of me with Shirali, Harshitha, Ishan and Abhay. I missed them a lot, I have to go to India once atleast. To visit them.
And then I see this picture which makes me stop scrolling: it was of Shubman and I.
It was one of my favorite picture of us, a cadid which Shahneel Di took. It was after the match against the CSK who also happened to be the team of my most favorite cricketer, M.S.Dhoni. Shubman had scored his 1st IPL Fifty against them and KKR won. After the match, I got too over enthusiastic that I literally jumped over him.
It was a picture of that, me hugging him with the most happiest and proud expression and him laughing at the sudden hug and my sudden enthusiasm.
The next ones were other pictures were of him looking at me with happiness after we pulled out from the hug and laughing at the lame jokes the both of us made. Shahneel Di literally had a candid photo shoot of us that day.
Looking at it just made my heart break and hurt more than it was. It felt like someone was ripping it out of chest.
I wanted to go back those days, Shubman was more than enough to make me happy and Shahneel Di could console me whenever happy.
But I couldn't. I couldn't just go back to him like everything was happy. He was the was who broke me. And he was the last person I expected to do so.
It's his fault. He messed it up. And I'm suffering for it.
Shubman's POV
(meanwhile in India)
"Haha!! Main jeeth gaya.", Ishan teases me.
"Yeh toh bas pehli baar hai, overreacting mat kar. I'll beat you the next time", I groan at him.
"Tere sapno main beeta, continue dreaming.", he retorts.
His phone rings and he picks it up, walk fast out of the room. It must be Harshitha or his someone from his family, pakka.
The bell rings, indicating someone was at the door. I open it and a delivery guy is standing there, looks like Ishan has received something.
I go and open it without his knowledge. Well it was kind of sneaking, but I didn't care. He also sneaked in the last time at a courier for me and looks like it was from Suhana, he hasn't stopped teasing me since then about it.
I open it and what I found left me in shock, for a few mintues. It was a picture of Smriti with a tattoo, a semi colon and few other things were there.
I look at the picture for a while, she looked so pretty. Nothing had changed, except for her eyes.
They didn't look the same, the glint and the happiness was missing. It looked all sad and depressed. She wasn't the same.
I wanted to tell her that every thing would be alright. I missed her. She always helped me during nervous times. I was such an idiot to think that and now, I lost her.
Below the picture was a Rakhi, considering today was Raksha Bandan. And there was a small letter also:
Happy Raksha Bandan, pagle. Love you so much!! Thanks fir being the best Bhai ever❤.
(P.S: Main tujhe 'bhaiya' nai bulane waali hoon, kabhi nai. Sirf 'Ishan' bulaongi that's it.)
I weakly smile at how adorable that was. She wasn't wrong at all, they had a brother-sister relationship. And I, like an idiot got all insecure and believed Suhana.
I remember an incident a few years ago:
(Flashback)
"Nahi.", Smriti tells.
"Karo na.", Di tells her.
"Bilkul nahi".
"Do it".
"No-".
"Oye-".
"Never. We're going out of here Shub, please.", Smu tells and drags me out by my wrists.
We go out of my home and I look at her.
"Mujhe apna bhai ki tarah accept karna mushkil hai kya?", I ask her with a smile. She came out because Shahneel Di was forcing her to tie me a Rakhi.
"You know both of us having a 'Bhai-Behen' relationship is impossible Shub. We can only be best friends, that's it.", she tells.
"You just read my mind.", I tell her. The day we both become like that is going to be the last day of my life, I have no idea why.
Maybe I did have a chance with her.
"Hey, continue kare...", Ishan comes and stops after notices what I did. He looks at the gift and just smiles.
"Sorry.", I tell him.
"Arre shut up dude, we sorted that whole thing that day only na.", he comforts me.
"I know, but boora lag raha he yaar. I didn't trust the both of you".
"Woh toh kabhi-kabhi hota hai. Don't worry, sabh kuch theek ho jayega".
Smriti used to tell me the same things. No wonder why Ishan and her are so close, they are so similar.
"I hope so. I don't know whether she has forgiven me Ishan, mujhe pata nahi ki main usse mil paunga. I hurt her very horribly".
"She might come back to India for the IPL. We'll sort it out.", he tells me.
"We'll?", I look at him.
"Well, Harshitha, Shirali, Abhay and me. Everything will be alright Shubman, just give Smriti time. Time to heal.", he reassures me.
I weakly smile at him and mutter a 'thank you'.
I tried to think what would've happened if I hadn't done that. It would been different by now. Not only did I screw it up with her but also her parents, I didn't go to their funeral at all.
I know she needs time to heal, but I wish I could fix her.
Only if I didn't mess up.
✿
Hey guys!!
Hope this chapter was good. Not much of a plot because it was a filler one.
But get ready for the next chapter, cause I'll have y'all screaming😉
Also, happy birthday to the legend and my biggest inspiration, M.S.Dhoni💕. Can't describe how much I'll miss him after he retires😞
Vote, comment and show all your love.
~S♡