I was goinig home soon, they boys are just finishing in Ireland and now they're doing the UK so I get to go home for a few days.
Niall had adverted back to his quiet, ignorant self whenever the boys are around for some reason. I don't know why but it kind of hurts because I thought we were finally getting on good terms.
I sighed and followed the boys onto their jet. Niall sat in the corner, putting his bag on the seat beside him so I couldn't sit next to him and he curled into a ball, putting his headphones on and closing his eyes.
I sighed once more and sat next to Louis who defintely unnderstood Niall's body language and signals. He gave me a sympathetic look and took out his phone. He tapped something and showed me a note that said 'Are you okay?'
I smiled and took the phone from him, which happened to be an iPhone six too. I quickly typed back 'I am fine yes haha, thank you'
He took it back and gave it back to me after a few seconds. 'Are you sure? I know Niall's being a little blunt with you..'
'I know he is, but I am alright, seriously :)' I replied.
'I know you like him, don't you?" He typed.
"Maybe a little..' I typed back and we left it at that, I didn't want to talk about it anymore and i knew he realised that too.
"So you get to go home now?" Louis asked me and I seen Niall watching us silently.
"Yes, I can't wait to see my little sister." I smiled. "I'm surprising her, she doesn't know I'm coming home."
"Oh I love doing that with my sisters, I miss them a lot too, how old is yours?"
"She's fourteen, coming on thirty." I joked.
"I guess she acts older than her age?" He asked.
"Ocassionally ha, she very mature though." I said. "How many siblings have you?" I asked Louis.
"We may be here a while." He chuckled. "So there's Georgia, my dad's kid, then there's Lottie, Felicity, the twins Daisy and Phoebie and the other twins Doris and Ernest." Louis told me.
"That's a lot whoa." I laughed.
"Yeah, you only have the one sibling?" He asked.
"No, I have an older brother Marcus too." I replied.
"What do you want to do at college?" He questioned, probably trying to make conversation, I looked over at Niall and he was still glaring at the two of us, but he wasn't saying anything, he had his headphones on, though I don't know whether or not he had music playing.
"I would love to study law, I've always wanted to since I was younger." I said.
"Ahh, that's a nice choice, when do you think you'll go to college?" He asked me.
"I honestly don't know, well, I'm here for a year anyways and I guess I'll see if I have enough saved after that to start that September but I don't know."
"I'd say you'll get in and become a great lawyer or whatever you want to be." He smiled.
"I'd like to work my way up to a judge I think." I said and he nodded and smiled. I looked back at Niall and he quickly looked away and acted as though he wasn't looking at me when I had seen him. I stared in his direction until he looked again and his eyes locked with mine, then he looked from left to right and back at me.
He only looked at me for a few seconds before breaking the gaze and looking down at his phone. I put my headphones back on too and concentrated on getting some well needed sleep.
I did fall asleep at some point to the sound of Ed's voice singing lightly in my ears. I fucking love these beats.
____________
I was awoken by someone shaking me. I opened my eyes and was met with Niall. "We're here." He simply said and sauntered off. I gathered my things and headed off the plane too.
I was excited to see Joanna again, she doesn't know I'm coming, I can't wait to surprise her. I called a taxi and got home. When I opened the front door it was absolutely freezing and the place was in darkness. It looked to be a mess. I dropped my bag in the hallway and went to the sitting room. I turned on the light to find my mother sprawled across he two seater sofa. I didn't know whether she was sleeping or not.
It was then I looked on the coffee table and seen she had wine. Oh God, she's going through one of her phases again.
My whole world spun for a moment but then I remembered Joanna, she's the only thing that matters right now. I know how upset she used to get over this as a kid.
When I was a teenager she would go on a drinking phase for a while, and if you think she's a bitch sober, you should see her drunk. It's been a while and she usually only goes on these benders when something happens.
I don't like this, I hope Joanna is okay.
I went up to Joanna's room but it was empty. I grabbed my phone and phoned her because I need to make sure she's okay. I started to panic when she didn't answer. My hands were shaking violently but I was trying to be strong incase I seen Joanna.
I went back down to the sitting room and shook mom awake. She opened her eyes and looked up at me. "Oh Jenny I-" I cut her off by slapping her cheek. My mind wasn't working with my hand and I had it done before I had even realised it, but I didn't regret it. She seemed shocked, but not as shocked as I expected her to be. "I come home for a few days and this is what I come home to? You fucking know how wrong this is now where the fuck is Joanna?" I asked her.
"In her dads, Jenny, I'm not drunk, I swear." She said, ending her sentance with a hiccup. I didn't even give a shit, I just took her car keys and went to get Joanna, the fact I was going to see my dad didn't even phase me.
I hurriedly drove there and when I got there I opened the door and was met with Joanna and dad.
"Oh my God, Jenny." Joanna said and pounced on me.
"Jenny." My dad smiled and came over and gave me a hug. I hugged him back and gave him the best smile I could muster.
"Mom's on one of her benders again, I'm so glad you're home." She said and hugged me tight again. I know how much this must of upset her when she's in dad's on a week day.
"I know, I found her." I sighed.
"I am seriously thinking on going for full custody." My dad said.
"No." Joanna and I both said simutanieously.
"Why not? I am your dad." He defended.
"You know what you done, I am not having Joanna living with you." I snapped at him.
"Jenny, you know how sorry I am." He said, looking at me with beady eyes.
"I know, but sorry doesn't always fix things." I said and Joanna looked awkwardly between the two of us.
"Why are you home anyways?" She asked me.
"I wanted to surprise you, why didn't you tell me what was going on?" I asked her.
"I didn't want to bother you while you were away, I didn't want you to panic." She shyly replied.
"Do you wanna come home with me now, or are you staying with dad?" I questioned.
"I wanna come with you, I miss you." She said and dad nodded. She went and got her bag and I helped her take it out. I said bye to dad.
"Bye Jenny, I love you." He said but I didn't reply. I got in the car and drove us home.
"She's not fucking getting away with this, she has you to think of, she can't be doing this now, especially when neither me nor Marcus is around." I sighed, pulling into the driveway. "What set it off this time anyways?" I asked.
"You." She simply replied. "She knows she's done wrong and she misses you hella lot and yeah." Joanna shrugged. I could see in her face her disappointed and upset she really was, but it's Joanna here and she never admits when she's sad because as she said 'nothing upsets her'.
"She doesn't get to do this to my little sister and her fucking daughter, not everything is about her." I sighed and got out of the car.
When we entered the house we could hear her crying. Though, frankly, I didn't give a shit, she can cry all she wants. "Why the fuck are you crying?" I snapped at her. I was just irritated now. I wanted to cry myself but I couldn't, not now anyways.
"I'm sorry." She sobbed.
"Just clean this place up and make yourself presentable for Joanna, not everything is about you and you need to think of her." I spat at her. She nodded feebly and scrambled up. At least she was listening to me.
I looked around and Joanna had disappeared. I knew she was probably upstairs. I'm kind of used to this situation to be honest, but it doesn't make it any less upsetting for me either. I ran up the stairs and lightly knocked on her door before opening it. Surely enough she was lying in her bed crying.
"Jenny, what are you doing in here?" She asked me, wipng her eyes.
"I'm here to make sure you're okay." I said, sitting down on the bed next to her.
"I'm not." She shook her head and it's not often she admits this. I gave her a big hug and kissed her cheek.
"Tell me what's wrong."
"She just done this now and I miss you so much and it made me to happy when you came home but like you'll be going again and I don't want to be left with her again now, you don't know what it's like to live with her on your own." She cried.
"Joanna, I am so sorry, I have to go back to work, I have no choice but I am here for a few days and I will get mom on the right track for you and give her a good talking to okay?" I reassured her.
"Okay, thank you Jenny." She said and hugged me again. "You're the best sibling ever." She whispered.
"Don't worry, I know how to deal with these situations now." I said. I actually had no idea what to do but I could hardly tell that to Joanna. I felt like crying right now too but I have to stay stong for her sake. I swear, I could strangle my mother right now.
Like this is what I come home to and it was happening behind my back.
"Joanna, how long has this been going on for?" I asked her.
"All week." She softly said.
"No fucking way." I sighed, running my hands through my hair and tugging at it in frustration.
"Yeah, she started last weekend and yeah." She sighed. "I've been at dad's since last Monday, I didn't want to be around it any longer."
"I don't blame you, I am so sorry I wasn't here but you should have told me." I said and kissed her forehead, stroking her blonde hair, trying to relax her. "Everything will be okay, I promise." I said, I thought maybe if I lie to her I may just be able to fool myself.
I talked to her for a bit more and then I left her to go to bed, though I know she's not going to go to sleep right now but I went downstairs to check on mom nonetheless. On the way down my phone rang and I got a surprise when it said Niall. I went back to my room just so nobody could hear me.
"Hello?" I said, wondering maybe he was ringing by accident.
"Hi Jenny." He said. "I know you were a little weary about going home before so I just wanted to make sure everything was okay." He said and if I wasn't surprised before, I definitely was now. I just sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to will myself not to cry.
"Jenny?" He questioned when I didn't respond.
I don't get why he cares now when he hasn't even been bothering with me since we've gone back on tour.
"I'll take that as a no." He sighed.
"No, I'm okay." I managed to choke out.
"What's happened Jenny?" He questioned.
"I don't want to talk about it." I said, biting my lip to stop the tears.
"Jenny, don't do this, what has happened?"
"Why do you care now?" I asked him.
"What do you mean?"
"You didn't bother with me these past few days why do you care now?" I said, feeling a tear fall down my cheek, much to my dismay.
"I do care about you Jenny, just tell me." He sighed.
"No, I don't know what to do Niall, I don't know what to do." I said, finally giving up and letting the tears take over.
"Jenny, I can't understand what's going on unless you tell me." Niall said.
"I can't Niall, I don't-"
"Fine then, I'm coming to see you." He stated.
"Niall you can't, I live like half an hour away." I pointed out.
"I don't care, you need me and I am coming to see you." He sternly said, much to my relief to be honest because I wanted company to be honest, I didn't want to do this on my own.
"Niall I don-"
"I am coming and you can't say no." He said and hung up. Why is he being so nice to me now? This is all so frustrating. I sighed and looked in the mirror on my wall. I didn't look too good. I was pretty pale and my hands were still trembling.
Tonight was Niall's only night in his own house and now he's on the way here, I don't understand why he would want to come see me and make sure I was okay.
I just decided not to go down to mom until Niall came, at least then I wouldn't have to face her on my own.
I waiting it out in my room and some time later I got a text from Niall saying he was outside, he got here a lot quicker than I had anticipated. I text him back and told him to come straight upstairs to me.
I heard his footsteps on the stairs so I opened the door of my room, while he peered around and then his eyes caught mine. "Jenny." He said and I just ran to him and threw myself into his arms. "Jenny, are you okay?" He asked me as I buried my face in his neck and he stroked my hair soothingly. I got his scent and I felt instantly relaxed in his strong muscular arms.
I just shook my head against him and cried into his shoulder. I could hear mom shuffling around with a vacuum downstairs. I let go and lead Niall into my room. He looked around curiously then plopped himself down on my bed.
"Jenny what's happened?" He asked, concern evident in his blue, curious eyes.
"It's just my mom." I mumbled, sitting down next to him.
"Babe, you can tell me what happened." He said and the name made me jump a little.
"She's just going through one of her phases and it's just Joanna I am worried about and I don't know what to do because how can I go back with you if I don't know whether or not Joanna is alright?"
"What kind of phases?" He asked.
"She goes through like phases of depression and she just drinks it away and does a lot more things she probably shouldn't." I sighed. "I thought they were over because she hasn't had one since Joanna was younger and usually something triggers it like." I explained.
"Everything will be okay Jenny, I promise." Niall assured me. "I'll stay with you yeah, you don't have to do this on your own, right?"
"But don't you have things to do tomorrow?" I asked him.
"Free until concert time. " He smiled.
"Should I go down and give out to mom?" I asked him. I seriously didn't know what to do right now, this is all just so shocking that this is what I have to return home to.
"No, I think leave her to the morning so she knows she's done wrong and you're mad at her, then go talk to her." He said to me.
"Don't worry, I've already made it clear I am mad at her." I sighed, running my hand through my hair. "I may or may not have slapped her.."
"Jenny." Niall gasped in disbelief.
"My hand was on her face before I had time to think, I was just so angry." I said, tearing up again, kind of feeling bad for hitting her. Maybe she didn't deserve it after all. I just wanted another hug right now and I think Niall sensed this because he brought me into his arms again.
"It's gonna be okay Jenny." He whispered. He ran his hand up and down my back in a soothing manner and I relaxed in his arms. "Do you want me to go check on Joanna?" He asked me.
"She's gone to bed, but I don't know whether she's sleeping or not." I said.
"Let's go check on her and make sure she's okay." Niall said and grabbed my hand and lead me out of the room. "Which room?" He asked me, once we were on the landing.
"That one." I pointed out. Niall went over to the door and opened it slowly, peeping it. It was dark but I could see a small light, probably her phone. Niall closed the room door again.
"I think she's pretending to sleep so maybe we should just leave her." Niall said.
"Okay, but it is eleven so maybe she actually is asleep." I suggested.
"I don't know, do you want me to stay tonight?" He asked me, to which I nodded feebly. "Okay, I will." He smiled.
"Thank you Niall." I said and hugged him tight again.
"Don't thank me Jenny, don't." Niall said.
"Why shouldn't I?" I asked him, sitting down on my bed. He didn't reply he just walked around my room, stopping at a shelf and fiddling with some ornament. I just left it at that because I didn't have a chance to say anything else because there was a light knocking on my door.
"Who is it?" I asked and the door opened to reveal mom. "No, get out." I yelled at her right away and went to go slam the door but Niall caught me by the shoulders, restraining me from going near her.
"Jenny, please, let me talk." Mom begged, not even bothering to ask who Niall was and what he was doing here.
"So what? So you can tell me why you went drinking while Joanna was in the house?"
"No, look, Joanna and I had a fight and she called her dad to come get her and that done it for me and when she was gone I started drinking, I didn't think she'd be back the next day and then she just left again and just everything seemed to be going wrong." She explained.
"Well, drinking isn't the fucking answer." I yelled, trying to free from Niall's grip but he dug his fingers into me, keeping a tight grip.
"You know what I am like Jenny, I can't control myself."
"For fucks sake mom, this isn't about you, this is about Joanna, you're going to scar her for life and I will not sit back and let you do that to her, she doesn't deserve it." I shouted, getting angry.
"Jenny, calm down, don't wake Joanna up." Niall whispered in my ear but I wasn't listening.
"And you having a guy in your room while you're meant to be home with Joanna is being the best sister ever too." My mom mocked. She can not do this to me, this is not about me, this is about her.
Niall grabbed me and pushed me behind him, silencing me, before I had a chance to speak.
"Lisa, I am only here because Jenny was upset and you have no right to speak to her like that, this is your own doing and I will not stand back and watch you treat your daughters like shit." Niall snapped at her.
"I don't even know who you are so to me, you're irrelevsnt." Mom snapped at Niall.
"You know what mom, just leave now, we'll talk in the morning." I sighed.
"I hope he's not staying." My mom said.
"You don't have the right to say whether or not he's staying now anyways, so leave." I said.
"I am your mother I-"
"Then fucking act like a mother." I yelled at her. I know screaming back at her does no good, but I can't stop myself this time. I am just so angry and frustrated at her.
"Just because I had a few glasses of wine, doesn't make me a bad mother." She defended.
"Yeah. but doing it and not thinking about your fourteen year old daughter does." I said.
"Jenny I-"
"She told you to leave, at least do what she says." Niall snapped at her. She glared at him but turned on her heel and left the room. Niall turned around and gave me a big hug.
"Thank you Niall." I said against his shoulder.
"Stop saying that you stupid bitch." Niall said, making me laugh. "Will we go to bed?" He asked me. I nodded and got my pyjamas to change into, Niall was a gentleman tonight and he turned around to let me get changed. Once I was done we got into my bed.
"Why are you here now?" I asked Niall.
"I don't want you to be on your own now." He said.
"Yeah, but I thought you hated me again." I sighed, twiddling with the bracelet on his wrist. He looked at me for a few minutes before replying.
"I could never hate you." He finally said, then kissing me delicately on the cheek.