"Do you walk in the valley of kings?
Do you walk in the shadow of men,
Who sold their lives to a dream?
Do you ponder the manner of things,
In the dark,
The dark, the dark, the dark"
•
Sometimes Rosemary wondered what it would be like to feel things normally. To have to read body language instead of sense when someone was angry. To hit a steering wheel when frustrated instead of rip into your skin because your nails get sharp when your emotions do. She supposed she once did, when she was younger. Felt things normally, that is. She couldn't remember that well. She remembered snippets - a mother that didn't have love in her heart, a father powerless, a name that felt foreign to the touch.
But now, sat in the car, shrinking into herself as the seconds passed, she could sense the fear that rolled off of the other four. But none of them seemed to even notice Rosemary paralysed in fear at the sight of the familiar faces, familiar cars and movements and protocols. The tattoo on her arm seared under her jacket, the scars over her body seemed more prominent than ever despite not changing a single shade or even seeing the light of day.
She felt useless. She couldn't even get out of the car to look at what was going on, even the windshield felt like she was in plain view of them. A target, a sitting duck.
"I have to go home."
"No, you can't." Hopper said certainly. He was the most calm out of them all, maybe because he was the one with the smallest amount of threat against him personally. Johnathan and Joyce had the chance of getting Will back, Nancy had Mikes life on the line, Rosemary had herself and... no, she couldn't really count Eleven as hers to protect, right? She barely knew her, the only real thing linking them being the lab and brief encounters when Eleven was so very small. A part of her felt like they were sisters, maybe not by blood, but sisters in arms. Sisters by the tattoos that reduced them to an experiment.
" Are you okay?" She zoned back in to see Nancy and Hopper arguing, him holding her back by the arm to stop her going home, and Johnathan leaning down to look at her. This prompted Joyce to duck her head into the car to look at her as well, concern flooding her face. Her motherly instincts could turn on so easily, Rosemary thought.
"We'll work this out, Rosemary." Joyce assured her. "We'll find the boys. Do you need some fresh air?" She asked, gesturing to the car door.
"No." Rosemary said quickly, thankful with Hopper and Nancy returned, prompting Johnathan and Joyce to get back into the car with them. She really hated being squeezed in between Johnathan and Nancy, but she didn't have much of a choice. Being near the windows made her feel like she was about to be shot, and she hated being in the passenger seat of any car since she was able to drive on her own. It was probably a control thing.
"Look, we need to find them, before they do. Do you have any idea where he might have gone?" Hopper asked, turning to face Nancy.
"No, I don't."
"I need you to think."
"I don't know! We haven't talked a lot. I mean lately, I... he talks to Rosemary more than he talks to me." Nancy struggled, gesturing to the girl beside her, and due to close proximity nearly hitting her in the face. Nancy was getting steadily more frustrated, obviously annoyed at herself for not trying to connect with Mike more as they grew apart. Not that it was her fault, really, Rosemary thought that Mike created just as much friction as Nancy did.
"Is there any place that, that your parents don't know about that he might go?" Joyce pressed desperately.
"I don't know!"
"I might." Johnathan interrupted. "I don't know where he is. But I think I know how to ask him." Rosemarys mind wandered back to the Heath kit - how the boys always had their walkies on them all the time, how they never seemed to be hard to find if you knew well enough. Well, now they needed to know. It just wasn't a matter of searching anymore. It was a matter of asking.
"We need to get to Wills room." She said, nodding in agreement. "As soon as possible, preferably." She prompted as Hopper continued to stare at them instead of drive. "Like, Now!"