After pulling up to a luxury hotel, we get escorted through the back entrance and use the staff elevator to reach the 4th floor.
Everyone piles into one room, although they each have their own room key
As soon as the doors closed I hear a soft voice say "Ok who's getting dream girl?"
Jimin sits on the couch, his legs crossed, as he surveys everyone's reactions
"Paper scissors rock?" I hear Hoseok suggest
I stifle a giggle, they're grown men but they settle everything like children. I'm glad to know that hasn't changed
Suddenly 7 fists are in a circle and they're chanting, holding out different fingers to form one of three objects
RM loses instantly and groans
"Hey... I'm not that bad... I don't snore." I offer up, trying not to show how offended I am that they all seem glad they don't have to share a room with me.
I feel a deep pang if hurt when I see that RM looks disappointed that he's the one who has to stay with me
He hums in the most disheartened way, I almost wince
"I'm just gonna go." I announce and turn to leave
"Just because I don't want you in my room doesn't mean I don't want you here..." RM says, looking reluctant to express his thoughts
"I just prefer being alone." Namjoon confesses, obviously being nice for Tae's sake
I know him, and I know that he doesn't prefer to be alone. He gets really depressed if no one's around him for a while, but I keep myself from commenting and simply nod
I wish he didn't mean as much to me as he does
I find it sad that RM doesn't want me in his room but I totally understand, I'd hate to have a stranger in my room while I sleep who claims to have spent 4 years with you that you have no recollection of
Not that that's likely to happen to me
"Well, I'm exhausted, leave my room." Suga announces, looking about ready to pass out
I respectfully shuffle out into the hallwayand trail behind RM to his room where I see a couch and a king size bed.
"Namjoon, I know you don't know me and it's creepy that I know a lot about you so if at any point you feel uncomfortable just let me know and I'll get a cab. I don't want you to feel unsafe." I say sincerely, talking to his back as he sits on the side of his bed
He turns partially around and lets out a disheartened "Okay"
I know that there's something RM wants to say but he's holding himself back
"Just say it" I encourage, hating the uncomfortable tension between us
He shifts and turns to me, crossing his legs
"You don't really seem to want to be here, why are you staying?"he asks, tilting his head curiously as his eyes make contact with mine
I mull over my answer before I reply " I do want to be here, I really do. I just don't want to be somewhere I'm not wanted which is why I want to leave. I can see how this situation is making everyone feel uncomfortable, other than Taehyung. The reason I'm staying is because I care about him, I care about all of you."
I lived with you for almost 4 years, we were so close and all of you seemed to accept me into your lives. I know that will never happen again, but I can't just throw away the love that I had for all of you. I will always care about you Joon. I'm staying because I don't know what to do, because I came home to a life I barely remember and being with you guys makes everything a little less jarring." I say, trying and failing to explain how I feel
I can't hold back my emotions now, I feel on the verge of tears again
"Namjoon I'm really glad I got to be in a room with you, I missed you. About a year ago we made up a secret handshake because we were so close. You even lused to ask me for hugs." I say wistfully, remembering with a small smile
"How did the handshake go?" RM asks me softly, shrinking into himself a little bit and blushing lightly
I smile wider to reassure him and get up from the couch, slinking over to the bed and getting comfortable in front of him
"It went like this." I say as I grab his right hand, slapping it forwards and backwards on mine and then poking his dimple and saying "JamJoon!"
He seems shocked for a second before his face cracks into a smile and he lets out a sharp laugh
"That was our secret handshake?" He says in between giggles
"You seemed to like it when you made it up." I sass, studying his face for his reaction to my playfulness
He stops laughing and studies me to see if I'm lying. Seeing I'm not, he blushes
"Can we practise it once?" He asks cutely, scratching the back of his neck, seeming embarrassed
"Of course" I answer and hold out my hand, slapping the inside and outside of his with mine lightly before poking his dimple while he pokes mine
He retracts his hand from near my face and sits it in his lap, looking at his hands
"Once I called ourselves the Dimple Squad and you wouldn't talk to me for a week" I confess with a childlike smile gracing my features, gently trying to get him to be less shy around me
"And once I couldn't sleep so you let me sleep in your bed and we hugged the whole night." He blushes and closes his eyes tightly, letting a slight groan out of his throat
"I'm not telling you to embarrass you or anything, I just wanted you to know that even in the life you don't remember you were a lovely person. You always looked out for me." I clarify, looking at the pale pink haired and cheeked man in front of me fondly
"I used to be the one you'd come to for affection. I'd just look at you and know. You're so bad at asking I just learned to know when to hug you." I ramble, feeling my cheeks heat up at the love in my tone
"Like right now, you don't want me to hug you. You want me to move back to the couch or go home because I'm saying too much." I say sadly
"I'm gonna go to sleep now RM." I say, respecting his boundaries and scooting off of the bed ungracefully, plopping onto the couch
I can't believe I'm sleeping with my bra and jeans on, but you gotta do what you gotta do
"Remember what I said. If you're uncomfortable I'm out." I say quietly through a yawn before curling up and getting comfy on the expensive looking couch
"Goodnight Namjoon." I whisper right as I'm drifting off
"Night Jamie." I hear his deep voice reply and then I'm out
——————
The brightness shines through my eyelids as I start to wake up
I don't wanna open my eyes but I feel the need to when I hear hushed voices close to me
"Are you sure it's her and she's not some creep?" I hear a small voice say
"I'm sure, how could she know stuff we don't even know about eachother? Secrets we haven't told anyone?" V argues, seeming mad at the distrust
I hear someone sigh "Well just because she knows stuff about us doesn't mean she should stay with us, I mean, what were you thinking Tae? Inviting a stranger to the hotel were staying at!?"
"She's not a stranger." V growls, seeming done with the conversation
"Alright, we need to take a vote. Majority will win. Who wants her to go?" I hear a voice say, I think it's Hoseok
I hear some shuffling and I hear them ask who wants me to stay I can't control myself
I raise my arm and open my eyes to see slightly shocked faces
Well what do you expect when you're huddled around me? For me to magically lose my sense of hearing?
I see four other hands up, RM, V, Jimin and Jungkook. The other three are counting the hands glumly
Even if my vote doesn't count, majority voted for me to stay
I smile sadly at the three who don't want me to stay, who seem slightly ashamed at being caught. I try to keep the hurt out of my tone as I say "I'll just stay out of your way. If you don't want to talk to me just pretend I don't exist."
This makes Suga blush deeper, and Jin and J-hope reluctantly nod
"Okay! So who wants breakfast?" I ask, shaking off the awkwardness, and hopping off of the couch.
I weave through the 7 boys who are sitting on the floor in a circle near the couch, and go up to the table where the menu for room service sits
"Me!" I hear Jungkook say as he rushes over to me
He seems to be a bit excited that I'm here
I flinch through the pages with Jungkook looking over my shoulder, and soon a few people migrate from the floor to look at the menu too
"How about banana pancakes?" I suggest to Jungkook, pointing to the menu
When he makes an unsure noise
"You always order something and then change your mind and get banana pancakes, I don't wanna end up with a bunch of leftover food." I scold
As soon as I finish talking I realise that I slipped back into how it used to be, I can't treat them like I know them when I don't anymore
I place the menu down and clear my throat "You can get what you want, sorry for that...." I apologise and move away from the table, refusing to look at them
It's so hard to be around them, maybe I should've voted for me to leave
I sit back on the couch and rifle through my shoulder bag for my phone
I see an unread message from Tegan "Why did the guard want you? Are you sure you're okay?"
I smile slightly and reply "Just making sure I was okay, he saw the panic attack."
I lie. I have to, or else she might tell someone that I'm with BTS. It could turn into a scandal and that's the last thing I want to cause.
I sigh at the uneasy feeling and sink into the couch, pulling my legs into my chest
I just then notice V in front of me
I smile at him sweetly, although my mouth is hidden behind my knees
He crouched in front of me and puts his hands on my knees
"Manager, I got a guard to go out and buy you some clothes earlier this morning. I figured you wouldn't want to wake up and have to wear the same clothes all day." Tae says cutely, oblivious to how kind and gentle he's being because that's just who he is
I put my hands on his, my paler hands seeming tiny in comparison to his
"I could've just got some from my apartment." I say
"Yeah but then you'd have to leave and I'm scared that if you go you won't come back." V explains, pouting slightly
I remove a hand from its place on his and put a comforting hand to his cheek
"And what makes you think I'd want to leave?" I ask, studying his face in confusion
"You probably miss your parents or something? You were talking about how you were so sad because you didn't know where they were when you travelled back." V explains
I was scared when I first travelled, but the more time I spent around them I learned what love and caring for someone actually is and it is not what my parents do. When I got back and saw them again I realised a lot of things
"Trust me you don't have to worry about that." I reply cryptically, trying to block the memory of that night a few days ago
I look into Tae's slightly confused eyes and drop my hand from his face
I let out a deep breath and try to clear any sadness from my face, taking V's hands off of my knees and stand up, pulling him with me
"So where are these clothes you speak of?" I ask, trying to act excited
He looks at my face for a second before letting my earlier reaction go and signalling to the corner
Only now do I notice that there are three big bags of clothes
Wow
I cautiously approach the bags with labels on the front I don't recognise
When I peek inside I see a few black, blue and grey items
I turn my head and smile fondly at Tae over my shoulder
I never wear a lot of colours other than blue, be must have remembered only seeing me in these colours in his dreams
He's such a sweetheart
I clutch the brimming bags to my chest and retreat to the bathroom, deciding to chose an outfit once I've had a shower
I notice a packaged toothbrush and a few essentials packed in one of the bags and feel a wave of relief
The shower is so big I think it could fit all of the boys in here
I blush at the thought and quickly push the image of that out of my head, showering quickly and brushing my teeth
I put on a light coat of mascara and some tinted lip balm before combing out my wet hair and choosing my outfit
I notice a casual dark blue dress that is tight around the bust and waist and then the rest flows nicely to my mid thigh
I'm glad I shaved my legs and armpits for the concert
I hear some muffled talking through the door as I gather my bags and open the door, walking over to my designated couch and plopping them down
When I turn to look in the direction of the boys I see a beautiful sight