Summary: Peter has nightmares
It was not a surprise that Peter took Tony's death super hard. Probably harder than all the other avengers. Tony gave him a father figure when he didn't have one. Tony gave him faith in himself and was the only one who believed in him when everyone thought he was crazy for having a teenager join the Avengers. Now that he's gone, Peter doesn't know what to do anymore. He's having a hard time continuing to be a friendly neighbor Spider-Man, let alone an Avenger.
Bucky's tried to cheer him up, but he never found the right words. He was worried about his boyfriend, he didn't want to lose him. All he wanted was to be there for him, but it seemed like he couldn't even do that. So he went to Steve for help.
"I don't know what to do Steve. It seems like every thing I say it pushes him away."
"Look, just try talking to him. Talking things out helps more than you think, that's what I did when I lost you, Buck. If he tries to push you away. Don't. Stay with him no matter what."
"I don't want to lose him."
"You won't Buck. Just always be his shoulder to lean on. Be his rock, sometimes you just need to listen. Just let him get his feelings out, let him cry a little. He's probably holding all his feelings in."
"Thank you Steve."
"Anytime Buck."
Peter was in their room like he's always been. Bucky has been giving him his space, but he's barely left the room. He's never gotten out of bed, only if Bucky made him or carried him places within the house. Not even to get food, only if he had to use the restroom or to shower.
The day was almost over and it's been a week since he's been like this. Bucky walked towards their room and knocked gently.
"Go away." He heard, Bucky sighed and came in anyways.
Peter had bloodshot eyes, tissues surrounding him. He looked so tired.
"I said go away." The older man sat next to him. "Peter, I'm not going away. Please talk to me. Please baby, I'm worried for you. I love you."
He heard Peter sigh and saw him sitting up. "Each day I wake up I'm always reminded that he's not here and it sucks knowing that I probably could've done more or there was something I could've done. He's probably looking down at me right now seeing how much of a failure I am or how much of a disappointment I've been." He leaned his head against Bucky's shoulder while he wrapped him in a tight hug.
Peter just cried and cried, letting each tear flow out like a waterfall. While he heard his boyfriends soothing words to calm him down and a comforting hand rubbing his back.
"It's okay to be like this, you just lost someone you cared about. Anyone who were in your shoes would be the exact same way. The only thing that matters is how you get back up. How you recover. That shows what kind a person you are. But right now, this is completely normal, you're not a failure or a disappointment. Okay? I know for sure Tony would never think that of you."
"Come on, lets go to bed. I'm sure you'll feel better in the morning."
They got situated in bed together with Bucky being the big spoon and Peter facing him with his face against Bucky's bare chest. Almost instantaneously they both fell asleep.
-
A couple hours into the night Bucky was being awoken up by movement on the bed. Peter was in a cold sweat while muttering words.
"I-I'm sorry. Mr.Stark please don't go."
Bucky shook his awake and the younger boy sat up quickly gasping for air.
"Peter, are you okay?" He nodded. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
"It's the same nightmare I've had for the past week. I-Its like my mind wants me to relive his death over and over again. It's like it wants me to suffer each night."
"Have you thought about therapy maybe?" Bucky suggested. "No, no! I tried therapy when my Uncle Ben died and it didn't work then so why would it work now?!" He shouted and then stood quiet for a while before speaking again. "I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to yell."
"It's okay darling. It'll be okay. Do you wanna try going back to bed?" Peter nodded,"Yeah, I know I need it and I know you'll be with me." Bucky put a finger underneath his chin, lifting his head up to meet the his lips in a soft kiss. "I love you."
Peter smiled at his boyfriend,"I love you too."