I thanked them once again for their kindness and patience as we wished each other goodnight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Warning!
This story may trigger readers who suffer from anxiety, depression or PTSD. There are many mentions of domestic abuse, self harm, self loathing, suicidal thoughts and tendencies. If you are easily triggered or bothered by such content, proceed with caution.
~W. D. Girl
Your POV:
Darkness surrounded me. Everywhere I looked, everywhere I turned was darkness. I kept blindly following an invisible path I've been, unbeknownst to me, walking on. I looked around once more, seeing a twinkle of light in the distance. I followed it. I was getting closer to the source, it was a doorway. When I was about thirty feet in front of it, I was suddenly getting sucked towards the light. Escape was impossible, the force of its pull was too strong. Eventually I stopped struggling and just let it take me wherever it wanted to.
I opened my eyes only to see two familiar silhuetes. A silhuete of a woman and a silhuete of a cat person. It was the couple who had given me a place to stay at, they had been very helpful and caring...
Then, out of the blue, a bright spotlight shone on another silhuete. A big, humanoid being with boney fingers and features. 'G' I softly sighed, my heart beginning to ache. I instinctively reached for him, but I was held back by an invisible force. I restrained myself from reaching out again in order to keep him where he was.
"(Y/n), my sweet little girl... Come to momma.."
The woman said, the spotlight shifting to her, revealing hers and the monster's face. They were smiling with tears running down their faces. Why did they call me (Y/n)?
Then, when I was about to speak up, the spotlight shifted back to G, revealing a hurt and livid expression on the skeleton's face.
"How could you have done that?! We trusted you! I trusted you! You're no better than the others. You're no better than your father!"
Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes. I never was able to fight back and defend myself without spilling tears.
"It wasn't me! It was Chara! She possessed me! You have to believe me!"
"I can tell when someone's lying. If you haven't figured it out, I'm the last person you want to lie to."
Now he wasn't facing me anymore. The spotlight began to fade and he was slowly walking away.
"I love you.."
I said before he fully disappeared. G just turned his head to look behind him, gave me a stoic, cold expression and looked back in front of him. Then he was gone.
Everything faded back to complete darkness and again I was alone.
~~~~~~
The heavy burden called life knocked on my consciousness, ushering my tired and restless mind to begin it's daily duty and wake me up. First it sprung feeling back into my body, then slowly woke me up, urging me to open my eyes at once. My shallow breathing became deeper, my muscles awoke from their paralysis-like state sleep had put them in. I slowly opened my eyes and stretched, taking a deep breath in and sighing. My tail sprung back to life and I swayed it back and forth without realising it. My ears twitched and began turning towards the sources of different sounds.
"Good morning Dear. You've been out for quite a while."
Said the nice lady, giving me a loving smile.
"How long exactly?"
I asked with a hint of concern in my groggy, morning voice.
"Twelve hours."
She answered while trying to hold back giggles.
"You needn't worry though, you're always welcome to stay the night, Dear."
I was embarrassed yet grateful for everything she and her husband had done for me, despite me being a total stranger to them.
"Anyway, how are you feeling? Did you sleep well?"
The lady asked as she began putting away the dishes in the kitchen.
"Well.. I did sleep well, yes, but... I had the most peculiar dream. You and your husband called me (Y/n), and kept urging me to come to you. It was interesting, to say the least."
I kept talking more to myself than to her. I hadn't realised that she was staring at me with disbelief in her eyes.
"Our daughter, (Y/n), was lost many years ago. We believe she's still alive, out there somewhere. She had this.. Beautiful golden butterfly on her shoulder..."
She explained, seemingly recalling the memories of the past.
"I have a butterfly.."
I mumbled shyly.
"You do?"
She asked almost desperately.
I gently pulled down the fabric of my shirt to reveal my butterfly while the lady took a closer look.
"I-it's exactly like hers..It's yours..Oh (Y/n)!"
She hugged me tightly and sobbed, holding onto me as if I'd dissappear any second.
"Tom! Tom, come here! The girl! It's (Y/n)!"
The lady yelled, calling out for her husband.
Tom came running into the living room and to his wife's side. He took a closer look at me, then glancing at the butterfly, he hugged me tightly.
"It's you.. My little girl.."
He whispered, tears welling up at the corners of his eyes. I hugged them back, finally understanding my dreams.. My lost memories. 'I'm home...'
~Time skip~
The couple, my real parents let me go back out into the world, after I had explained everything that had happened. They were really supportive and wanted me to find what I was looking for. And so I roamed around the village, looking for anything that would hint towards the monster base. On the front door of a baker's was a poster. I walked closer to see if it was what I was looking for. Once I was close enough, I realised it was but an advertisement for a costume ball. Without a second thought, I decided to go, because I had to get my mind off of some things. A ball would be a great way to forget all the things that have been bugging the back of my mind for a while now.
But what could I dress up as? A witch? A Knight?
Then it dawned on me. Nobody except for my parents knew I was a neko, so I'll let my neko features shine while wearing a costume to hide my identity. It will be fun to have a blank slate and start all over again with unknown people.
I was drawn towards a gothic look with a face mask. With a little bit of magic and modifications to the dress I had bought, I was able to completely change my style and mask myself as someone entirely new.
I showed my parents and they were thrilled to see me excited about something. I couldn't believe that parents could be so lenient and loving! All my life, I had been conditioned into thinking sons and daughters were meant to serve their parents, as if to make up for all the sacrifices they made to bring us to life. I had been lost this entire time, and that day, that moment.. I finally felt found.
The ball was getting closer with every day that went by, and a week after I had learnt about it, I was heading towards the room where it happened. I guessed that a lot of magic was used to spring it to life, for it was a small castle of gothic architecture. It was breathtaking. Despite it being only a party, the atmosphere was as if we had been living in such an era all our lives. The garden in front of the castle had a fountain in the center, a gravel path leading from the sidewalk to the entrance of the castle. It wrapped around the fountain, giving a nice touch to the whole scenery. The fountain itself was made of marble and sculpted into the monster King Asgore, who everyone in the monster world knew and loved.
When I was done admiring the appearance of the place I began making my way towards the building itself. The closer I got, the more details and small decorations I could see. The entrance to the castle had a pair of grand doors made of darker wood, with engravings of intriguing patterns. I could already hear the commotion of chatting, laughter and partying booming from the inside. As the door opened and as I stepped inside, I immediately saw a few familiar faces. The one that stood out the most was, of course, Mettaton.
"Welcome, welcome my lovelies! Thank you all for attending this special event, celebrating our monster kind and our Royal Family!"
He said as he put on a somewhat annoying British accent.
"Now, let the ball begin!"
Mettaton beamed as he officially announced the beginning of the party.
Music started playing, people began dancing and the chit-chat resumed. Most of the guests grabbed their partners or friends and just began dancing, meanwhile I... I was lost. As I was slowly making my way through the crowd, I bumped into someone I never thought I'd see in such a place.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I didn't see you there. Are you alright?"
Said the tall skeleton dressed as a soldier from the 18th century. Papyrus looked concerned, as if he was looking for someone.
"It's quite alright, you needn't worry."
I replied.
"Do I know you? You seem awfully familiar..."
He said as he took a closer look at me. At that time the first song had stopped playing and had merged into the next one. I quickly got an idea and put it into practice.
"Would you like to dance?"
Was what I asked and Papyrus accepted my offer.
He took my hand in his and brought me closer, placing my hand on his shoulder as he placed his boney one on my hip. The proximity made us both blush and light up in hue, yet it didn't stop us from enjoying the dance. We began swaying to the rhythm and spinning with the crowd. Everything else seemed to disappear, it was just us.
"You strike me as a woman who's never been satisfied."
He said a bit cheekily while looking me in the eyes. I knew it was really out of character for him, but I suppose he was only sticking to the role he was playing and portraying with his costume. Deciding to play along, I replied a bit taken aback, yet amused;
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean, you forget yourself."
And he continued:
"You're like me, I'm never satisfied."
"Is that right?"
"I've never been satisfied."
I sighed and smiled.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I'm the person you know as (R/n)."
"Impossible..."
He stopped us and gave me a closer look.
"But she's been missing for so long... Is it really you?"
"Just you wait Papyrus, just you wait!"
I said as I was whisked away and back into the crowd. I didn't want to be alone in the crowd, so I made my way to the edge, where I observed the whole thing.
Papyrus's POV:
~1 week earlier~
Waking up wasn't as bad as it used to be, I managed to even fall asleep without crying. Ever since Mettaton and I began talking, I've been getting better by the day. Sure, he is a bit narcissistic, but beneath that obnoxious mask and act he puts on, he is the loveliest person to exist.
As the dread of life slowly lurked out of my mind, I managed to force myself out of bed. Next to it was a bedside cabinet on which layed my diary, still open from the previous night. It's contents were letters to (R/n), wishes and pleas for her to come back. Below those were ticks, counting the days of her absence, of her disappearance. Nightmares weren't that common, but when they did appear, they were unbearable. I couldn't talk to anyone about her... G told them what happened. I didn't believe him.
What he told us didn't sound like (R/n) at all... I know it wasn't her. Whenever I mentioned (R/n) to G, he'd get mad, yell at us to not speak of her at all. But I know that deep down he was hurting... When he'd walk away, I could see him crying, or hear him choke back silent sobs. A few days ago, Mettaton decided to lighten up the mood by throwing a party for our special holiday. Many monsters were excited for it, so they lent a helping hand. The magnificent castle was built in three days with the help of magic. It wasn't visible to the human eye, protecting us from potential ambushes. For a whole week we kept preparing, planning and inviting. We wanted every monster alive to attend our festivities.
Then the day has finally arrived. Monsters from all over the place came around, thrilled to see their traditions in action. Many gazed in awe at the structure before them, many rushed inside to be a part of the whole festivity. They came dressed as many different things, inanimate object, other monsters, even humans. It's safe to say that we were all more than excited to practice our beliefs, strengthening our independence and representing our race.
Then, just as the first dance was over, Sans and I entered the castle. I don't know how I managed to convince him to join me, but I did. Perhaps he came just to get hammered... All in all, I was happy he came. Mettaton was backstage practicing his opening speech, our other friends were already enjoying the dance and food, so I decided to blend in. Pairing up with the nearest person, we swayed to the rhythm of the band. When the song was over, Mettaton made his way to the stage, announcing his presence.
"Welcome, welcome my lovelies! Thank you all for attending this special event, celebrating our monster kind and our Royal Family!"
The crowd roared in applause, cheering loudly. Of course, Mettaton enjoyed every moment of it, and soon, he was back in his element.
"Now, let the ball begin!"
Mettaton beamed as he officially announced the beginning of the party.
Monsters paired up and resumed with the dancing and chatting. While in the middle of the dance floor monsters were dancing, the edges and corners were a bit calmer. Chatting, dinning and observing.
Right as I was about to head to Mettaton, I bumped into someone. It completely threw me off guard.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I didn't see you there. Are you alright?"
I immediately apologised and turned around to see who I distributed. The girl in front of me looked stunning, she completely enchanted me.
"It's quite alright, you needn't worry."
She replied.
"Do I know you? You seem awfully familiar..."
I said as I took a closer look at her. At that time the first song had stopped playing and had merged into the next one.
"Would you like to dance?"
Was what she asked and I accepted her offer.
I took her hand in mine and brought her closer to me, placing her hand on my shoulder as I placed my boney one on her hip. The proximity made us both blush and light up in hue, yet it didn't stop us from enjoying the dance. We began swaying to the rhythm and spinning with the crowd. Everything else seemed to disappear, it was just us. She seemed so... Familiar. I couldn't place my finger on it, but I could have sworn I'd seen her somewhere before. Even known her before. I had to do something about it, I couldn't just let her dissappear. I never was much of a flirt, but if it meant that she'd be with me for a few more moments, I was willing to try.
"You strike me as a woman who's never been satisfied."
Is the first thing that came to mind. I put on a smirk and looked her in the eyes. Those eyes... I've seen them before, she must be someone I used to know!
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean, you forget yourself."
She played along, surprising me yet again. If I'm already playing my role, I'm not going to let it down.
"You're like me, I'm never satisfied."
I said back, continuing my playful banter.
"Is that right?"
"I've never been satisfied."
She sighed and smiled.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I'm the person you know as (R/n)."
"Impossible..."
I stopped us and gave her a closer look.
"But she's been missing for so long... Is it really you?"
"Just you wait Papyrus, just you wait!"
She said as she was whisked away and back into the crowd. If only I knew who she was and why she seemed so familiar...
I thought about it, searched my memory for any clues that might give me intell on her identity. Then it hit me.
"Thank you, human... That is very nice of you.."
"No problem.. uh.."
"Papyrus"
"I'll see you at sunset where your group is, alright?"
"Until then, (R/n). Goodnight."
It was her... She was alive and well! My soul was overflown with joy and relief. Like a little child, I became all giddy and giggly. I heard my brother laughing at my unusual state. For a few minutes, (R/n) was the only person on my mind. How we danced, how we spoke, how perfect she is. I wanted to take her far away from this place, then I turned and saw my brother's face and he was.. Helpless. His eyes were helpless. He fell for her despite him not knowing who she really was. I walked over to him to ask him about (R/n), but before I could say anything he grabbed my forearm and whispered so only we could hear it.
"Yo, this one's mine."
I realised what had happened. My soul began to ache. He's in love with her. He's in love with someone he doesn't even know. I didn't have it in me to tell him though, it would absolutely break him. And so I decided to do what I regret to this day. I walked up to her.
Once I was at her side I asked her to follow me. Without earning a response from her, I somewhat dragged her back to my brother.
"Where are you taking me?"
She asked confused, making me stop in my tracks and turn to her. I gave her a suggestive smirk and inched closer, gently grabbing her chin and making her look up at me.
"I'm about to change your life.~"
She smirked back, probably already tipsy from the drinks offered at this place.
"Then, by all means, lead the way.~"
She replied in the same tone I used to get her to follow me. Once we were at my brother's side, he took the lead and began his charming act as a flirtatious soldier from the late 18th century. He bowed, took her hand and placed a gentle kiss on its back side.
"Gaster!Sans. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"GasterSans....?"
(R/n) gave me a concerned look, confused why he isn't blowing up at her. I just played along and gave her a quick nod.
"My brother."
She got the hint despite her being somewhat tipsy. Fear overruled her instincts and she froze. She didn't know what to do, yet she desperately wanted to snap out of it. I have her a small, sympathetic nudge and she finally spoke.
"T-thank you for all your service...."
G instantaneously had a smirk on his face, taking advantage of the situation. His confidence really helped him get to her. He was charming her with such ease...
"If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it."
He said as he bowed down, bringing her hand closer to his lips and kissing it softly. He smiled at her while doing so, making him all the more charming.
Her face visibly changed hue, yet anyone could tell that she was terrified. I couldn't take the pain anymore. Seeing her getting taken away from me once again completely broke me. Cracks were showing through my facade, so I decided to take my leave.
"I'll leave you to it."
I dismissed them with the biggest smile I could give, my soul breaking on the inside.
I tried reassuring myself with the thought that I'm not alone... I have someone to hold me tight, to tell me everything is alright, to comfort me deep in the night. I have Mettaton by my side. At least my brother has her by his side... At least I keep her eyes in my life.
Your POV:
Papyrus left our side. It was officially time to panic. G had no idea that u was actually the girl they knew as (R/n)... As he stood upright once more, the band suddenly sounded again.
"Would you like to dance?"
He asked me, while I, still full of fear, only nodded in response. G pulled me closer to him, his aura much different to the one Papyrus had when we danced. G was confident, immediately leading with his body while Papyrus was cautious and gentle. I didn't know why, but G's confidence really got me going, it really got to me. The way he held me, the way he spun me with no hesitation... His hand was on my lower back, bringing me closer to him by the minute. I could feel my heart beating fast... I knew the feeling, I had felt it before, I had felt it with him.
The song was coming to an end and we slowed down our movement. The whole time we were dancing I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes. I was still full of shame and fear. Despite how much I loved him and wanted him, I knew that he wouldn't forgive me that easily. I kept my head low, hoping he wouldn't realise who I was. What really startled me was when he gently held my chin and tilted my head upwards, shifting my gaze directly into his eyes. My face heated up once again.
"What's the matter, Buttercup? Why are you so shy? I don't bite."
He said in his sweet, deep voice, an undertone of seduction hidden in his words.
I couldn't help myself not to smile. I missed that side of him.
"Let's go outside, this place is too crowded."
I quietly replied and he agreed.
G gently held my hand as he lead me through the crowd and onto a balcony that was somewhat less crowded. From there we entered the castle again, yet this time we were alone. From what I knew the doors to the inside of the castle, aside from the ones to the spacious ballroom, were locked. It was dimly lit and the halls emitted echoes of our quiet footsteps.
"Almost there..."
G whispered as we took a sudden sharp turn.
Fear had not left my side all this time, for I didn't know if he had figured out who I really was. We finally stopped in front of a gorgeous glas door. He opened it and we were met with the cold air from the outside.
"Here we are... This one has the best view."
"How do you know about this place?"
I asked curiously. He smirked cheekily and stepped outside, motioning for me to follow him.
"This castle is an exact replica of the one we have back in The Underground. When I was younger, I used to sneak around and explore its insides, pretending to be a Knight in The Royal Guard."
That brought a smile to my face. He sounded so adorable!
"I never caught your name, darling."
He suddenly said as he looked at me. It made me panic. What do I say? Do I lie? No, he can read people like an open book... What do I do?!
"M.. My name?"
I managed to stutter out. What did my mum call me?
"It's... (Y/n)."
G just stood there, looking at me like I had told him the biggest lie of his life.
"You're joking... No way your name is (Y/n)..."
"It is... Is it not to your liking?"
I tried talking my way out of my panic.
"Do... You not remember me? I'm GasterSans, we used to play all the time when we were little... I would chase you around the meadow next to our home village. We would often climb the tree on the outskirts of the forest, we tied a yellow mantilla on the highest branch we could reach... "
He said with hope lacing his every word.
And suddenly I realised... Those dreams I've had in the past weren't just dreams, they were memories. Why is it that I don't remember any of it though? Why was I raised by a human, of all things? By a sick, abusive, alcoholic human of all people...
"Yeah, I remember you."
I said but not as confidently as I had hoped.
"There is also one more thing you should know about me..."
I took a deep breath. There was no point in deceiving him, he would have found out sooner or later.
"What do you mean?"
He asked cautiously. He was suspecting something and that something certainly wasn't positive. I could see the the on his face slowly fading away.
"I also go by another name..."
I reached for my mask, my hand shaking in fear and uncertainty. My mind was racing, opposing my decision, screaming at me to stop, but I refused.
G looked at me and waited.
"I'm the one you know as (R/n)."
With that I pulled my mask off.
He just stared at me, dumbfounded.
"No...No, no, no! You're not (R/n), she's a human! You're a monster! I finally have you back, don't tell me it was all just a lie!"
He screamed out with rage coating his words.
"You betrayed us, you betrayed ME! And now you're mocking me, torturing me. Was this your plan all along? Did you just want to get back at me?!"
"Sans, please, just let me explain!"
I cried out, pleading for him to let me talk to him.
"HELL I'LL LET YOU DO THAT!"
"G, please!"
"YOU'RE A LIAR!"
He walked closer to me, his height intimidating me more than his posture and proximity. I was rapidly shrinking which could only mean that I was shape-shifting. Now I was merely the size of a small kitty. Just great...
"What.. The fuck.. How did you do that?!"
G asked, but the only thing I could do was meow and cower in his shadow.
He quickly snached me up before I could book it and run away from him. He held me with one hand, observing my feline features. He took a long time observing the skin on my left shoulder. Once he was done he softened his grip.
"I...I can't believe it... The one I've been looking for, the girl I've loved for so long, all these years... Was actually right next to me all this time..."
G sat down still holding me and preventing me from escaping.
"I can't... Don't want to believe it... Of course I fell for you, you were the love of my life once before..."
He ranted on as he got lost in his thoughts.
I felt him let go as he slouched against the wall, looking defeated. As if everything he cared about was suddenly gone, as if all purpose in life has just disappeared, as if a dementor had come and kissed him. My heart was aching at the sight. I got odd his lap and walked up to his side, gently pawing at his arm. He looked at me with the coldest stare. I'll have to warm up to him again. I'll have to earn his trust again. But I know he'll never be satisfied. I will never be enough. He'll never stop fighting for monsters. He'll fight like he's running out of time. History has its eyes on you, G...
I cuddled up to him in his lap in hopes of him calming down. We just sat there for a while, doing absolutely nothing, when after a few minutes he placed his boney hand on my back. I purred to let him know I liked it. At least he was somewhat calm...
Papyrus' POV:
Once G had calmed down I snuck back inside, hoping he wouldn't notice me. He figured it out. I know him like I know my own mind, there's nobody as trusting and as kind. Sadly, he will never be satisfied, he could never be satisfied.