P E R C Y U S
I know I should just take the folder. I was well aware how much of a dick I looked like, watching this woman bleed in front of me, the fight leaving her eyes as she stared at her king that was letting her down. She was dirty, bloody, and thin. Her face was sunken in a bit, like she hadn't had enough water, her feet blistering horribly from the lack of shoes. I could immediately tell by her aura and the honest look in her eyes that she meant no harm, nor by the looks of her, could cause harm. I could've easily reached out and taken the folder, but something stopped me.
My hand twitched at my side to reach out for it, but my memories shoved me back to when I was training to be an alpha with my father. I suddenly found myself back to when I was seventeen, still under the control of my father.
I was bruised, exhausted, and utterly defeated. Father had sent four fully grown fighters after me, to teach me how to deal with multiple attackers. I didn't believe it was ever truly for training purposes, rather as a neat way to beat me up. I was limping my way to his office, after being called down. It was probably paper work that he was going to shove onto me, letting me do the work while he kicks back and nurses his bruised knuckles from punching me unconscious for breakfast.
I knocked before entering, knowing if I didn't I'd get the door slammed on my fingers as punishment. I peeked in, "Father, I'm here."
The office was empty.
I was stumped, having been called down here and expecting Father to be here. I walked into his office, gulping nervously. I was starting to sweat, the anticipation of being jumped making me jittery. I could feel my hand shaking, my teeth rattling a bit as if I were cold. I tried to bite back a whimper, as that would surely be weak and foolish. If he was listening I'd probably get punished worse. I saw a note sitting propped up on the desk, walking briskly to it.
'Look through these files, then report back to me your verdict.'
This is one of the exercises he did, training me like a detective to follow clues and solve riddles and shit. It was one of his training games, one I often lost. I closed my eyes tightly and took in a heavy breath. Last time I opened the file to see a bloodied mess of a dead body, one that had happened years back when one of the pack members was murdered. It was a case I was unfamiliar with, therefore I hadn't figured out who did it in the 24 hours he gave me, and ended up trapped in the training room, a weight lifting bar pinning me down by my neck with weights too heavy for me to lift. I was left there for three days.
I tentatively reached out for it, picking it up with my shaking hand. I felt my breath quiver as I prepared to open it. It's just a folder, you don't need to freak out. So I did it.
I felt it before I heard it. I felt the heat on my hands and face before the ringing in my eared deafened me. A scream tore from my throat as I was thrown backwards into the floor, gasping for breath as smoke filled my lungs and fire burned my chest and clothes. The folder had just blown up in my hands. My body was hyperventilating despite my efforts to calm down before father showed up to scold me. My chest jumped with the rapid breaths and my hands shook. They were bloody and scorched, not the worse but certainly enough to hurt.
Then I heard his voice. "You failed. Again. I made it clear to you that it was a bomb. You just didn't see it."
"I-I'm sorry, Alpha." I choked out, trying to roll to my stomach.
He wrenched me back, pinning my shoulders to the floor, hovering above me. My view of him was upside down, but no less terrifying. "You failed, now you get punished."
I gulped nervously, unable to bring myself to pick up the damn folder. I could feel Calla's frustration with me through the mate bond, but I couldn't reach out to grab it. Instead, I picked the bullshit route and told this woman I couldn't trust her. I trusted her, it was part of my intuition, I could clearly see she meant no harm. I had picked up many folders since that day, but after just hearing that Haes was back and terrorizing the pack and controlling my best friend, I had this sickening, sinking feeling that if I grabbed it, it might explode in my face. It took me a month to heal last time, the burn scars finally disappearing for good. The only one that had stayed with me Calla had removed for me.
I tried to hide the shake in my voice, "Guards, take her to the dungeons, please."
I knew damn well this woman needed to be in the infirmary rather than the dungeons, but my mind went completely blank, and the fear of that god damned folder in her hands was slowly taking over me. It was such a stupid thing to fear, but with all the new shit that was happening I could hardly think straight. Calla protested, talking to me about how wrong I was and that she needed help, but I couldn't hardly listen. I might've answered, but the ringing in my ears started to overtake me. The same ringing that I heard after the explosion mad emt head feel like it was going to implode.
I the folder fell to the ground as the guards took her away, and I jumped in fear, expecting it to explode. I had shoved Calla behind me so hard that she yelped in pain, protesting about my roughness. I barely had time to think about that, the impending sense of doom starting to collapse down onto me. I felt like I had a hundred pound weight on both of my shoulders, dragging me down. My breathing was erratic, uncontrollable and spasmodic. I shook my head to clear out the ringing, but my head burst with pain, sending me reeling to my knees. Calla stepped in front of me, crouching inches in front of the folder.
My eyes went wide and I choked, "Calla, get away from the folder! It's going to explode." I cried, pulling her to the ground and covering her body with mine.
I could feel my tears soaking my cheeks, but I didn't remember starting to cry. Maybe I'd been crying this whole time. Calla struggles underneath me, yelling something about me being crazy, "It's not going to explode!" She pushed me off when my grip slackened.
I shook my head again, only to feel more pain, "Calla, please, it's a bomb. You have to listen to me... Haes did it. He put a bomb in it, it'll explode like last time!"
I scooted back until I was pressed against the other wall of the small gazebo, still in range of getting roughed up if that folder were to explode. I felt a weight on my chest, compressing my breaths into small gasps. I didn't understand why I was so scared, so weak. If anyone saw me right now, I'd be the laughing stock of the pack. The alpha, freaking out over a folder, curled up in a ball crying. But Goddess, I couldn't stop. My body shook violently and I made sad attempts to melt into the wall.
Calla had ran off somewhere, leaving me alone. Although not for long, as Lorenzo, or whoever he was came into view. The second I looked at him, I could only see the figure of my Father, the one who was controlling him. He was here for me. To kill me. Then my focus changed and I once again saw Lorenzo, his face contorted into worry, Calla shortly behind him. Lorenzo has picked up the folder on his way to me, but I closed my eyes. "Please, stay away. Please, I'm sorry." I held my hands out in front of me, as if that would ward away hits.
"Buddy, what's happening to you? Why are you crying?" Lorenzo crouched next to me, throwing the folder down.
I jumped again, "Don't throw that! It's a bomb!" I scrambled back, but he held onto me.
Lorenzo's eyes suddenly flashed with recognition, he turned to Calla, "He's having a panic attack. I know why too."
"Why?" Calla asked, but I was faster than that.
I grasped Lorenzo's wrist and pulled him over me, locking him in a chokehold. My father was a part of him, of course he would know why I was having a fit over a folder. "Who are you? Haes? Why are you here?"
Lorenzo sat still, not struggling, he put his hands up so I could see them. Calla threw her hand over her mouth to hold in a gasp. "Percyus-."
"Calla, it's alright." Lorenzo said. "Percy, it's me. Not Haes. He takes over my body, but not right now. Right now he's sleeping. It's me, buddy. I know why you're scared, because I'm your best friend. I was there, I remember it happening."
"So does Haes!" I growled in his ear, flexing my arm for a second to assert dominance. "Prove that it's you."
He barely had to think, "We met on the roof when we were sixteen. I had gotten into an argument with my parents, and you had just received a beating. It was the first week of your alpha training. You confided in me after we talked about comic books for an hour. Just out of the blue. Once second we were talking about spider-man, the next you were telling me your life story. And I listened."
"What did you tell me, before we went to bed?" I felt my lower lip twitch as I started to feel the relief of starting to believe him.
"'I'm your friend now, and there's no way that fucker can ruin that too.'" Lorenzo recited.
I immediately let him go, slouching down into the gazebo floor. He rolled off of me, grabbing the folder. I felt a spike of fear plummet in my chest, and before I could stop him, he opened up the folder.
I closed my eyes and threw myself backwards, a yell flying from my lips. But the ringing never came, nor the heat and pain. I had curled myself in a ball, lying on my side with my arms thrown over my head. But no pain came, no agonizing, scorching fire melted my flesh away. I only then relaxed my arms. I felt small hands grasp my chin and I peeled my eyes open to see Calla hovering over me. My vision fell out of focus, switching to Haes just like it had with Lorenzo. I yanked my face away, "No, please! Stop! I'm sorry!"
But then it shifted back and I saw Calla's face, hurt flooding her expression. I sat up stiffly, my breathing hitching on the sobs I choked back. "I'm sorry. I keep seeing Haes. I thought you were him for a second." I rubbed my eyes roughly, trying to get them to stop crying.
Lorenzo pries my hands away, "Percy, look at the folder." I glanced at it, afraid if I looked too long it would blow up. "See, it's not a bomb. It's just a regular old folder."
"I-I thought it was-" I stammered, feeling mortified at how I had reacted to a stupid fucking folder.
Lorenzo grasped my hand to make me look at him, "It's alright. It happens. But your better now. You know it's not a bomb. You can relax now."
"I'm sorry." I blurted, feeling more tears resurface. I was utterly embarrassed.
I just had a panic attack in front of my new mate, the guards, and a complete stranger. The only one who knew about my problems was Lorenzo. I thought I was getting better. I hadn't had an attack since Calla arrived. Now I was going to start spiraling again. I have never been more embarrassed. I was supposed to be strong for Calla. She was the broken one who needed saving. I was supposed to be solid and unwavering, to be there for her. I wasn't supposed to break down into tears and hyperventilate I'm front of her over one bad memory. Goddess, I was pathetic.
I blew a breath out from my mouth loudly before either of them could respond. I was second away from losing it again. I stood up and turned away, ready to go inside and cry. "Sorry about that. That was totally stupid."
I then ran from the gazebo like I had fire on my ass. I bolted through the pack house, keeping my head low. I went straight to my room, pushing past anyone in my way. I slammed my room door shut and collapsed on my bed before completely breaking down. I sobbed louder than I had in the longest time, shaking the bed with my tremulous cries. It was almost comical at how much I was crying.
I would've laughed at myself if I wasn't so miserable.
I wasn't alone for long, however, as the door opened quietly and Calla walked through. I wanted to be like a moody teenager and shout 'go away', but this was her room too. I felt the bed dip on her side, and I turned the other direction, trying to subtly wipe my tears. I wished she would just go to the connected room and leave me be, but instead she places her hand on my shoulder. I feel my tension melt away at her touch, something my panic attack didn't let me to earlier. I relaxed my muscles into the mattress, sighing deeply.
"Don't worry," her soft voice soothes. "We will figure everything out. I promise."
I sure as hell hoped so, because right now, I had no fucking idea what to do next.
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Thank you for reading!
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