Tarrlok couldn't stop thinking about Korra. A moment ago they convinced her not to enter enemy territory, now that Noatak invited her to come and see the truth of her absence, he feared for her. There was a whole reason why she ran away, maybe looking back at the memories will make her go against the destiny of being an avatar.
Although when he thinks about it, Korra was never the person to go down without a fight. Being in this situation will make it a dry chance of success if she does not know how to regain her past without assistance. She needs to find the will to find it on her own.
As soon as they planned their long journey to Republic City the itinerary confused Korra. Although she knew that she had to find teachers and needed to focus on healing, felt that she only knew half the plan Noatak did. They prepared and for the rest of the night, packed all essentials. They did not bother delaying any longer.
It was gossipped that Kuvira's army is going south of the nation, with the train and everything to speed it up. Sooner or later, she's going to come and they did not like the idea that they would be seen unprepared. Korra knew at least that with her state now, she was no better than being a sack of hay for Kuvira if she met her. So they planned to venture to Chin Village to regain more information on Kuvira's whereabouts.
The next two days were, if not gruelling, rather slow. But when they finally had enough time resting they changed their clothes in order to blend in.
Korra with a let down hairstyle that had three ponytails; one from her back, two at the front that resembled her past hairstyle but with lower bands. A hat dangling on the nape of her neck, a dark green overall dress which had a slit on the sides, loose emerald green pants that hugged her legs to the ankles and simple green lady shoes.
Tarrlok wore his hair the same as always minus two low ponytails in the back. And for the past three years, there haven't been actually people recognizing him as the councilman who was a traitor, he only wore a dried green coat over his side slitted green shirt. Same with Korra, his loose pants hugged his legs to the ankles. His shoes were simple--an unlikely clothing for a councilman--humbling, he thinks.
Noatak's hair was long enough for a high ponytail. Where he always wore a mask as an equalist in the past, so there was no fear when people see him. He then wore a brown shirt that had slits on the side, a belt to fasten some of his valuables, then a loose pantaloons that hugged his things and high boots up to his knees. He was always conservative.
With that they set off with three bags in each back. Money was not a problem as for three years, the brothers earned a sum enough to travel the world. However, Tarrlok was worried; manipulating her negatively will ruin her trust in them further than it has. What makes it more complicated is that he was growing attached to Korra.
Her soft face against his harsh lines, her soft skin against his calloused ones. He had to admit that even though they were enemies once, only a fool would not gawk at her. She was a beauty. Silently remembering her soft skin as he controlled the water to every nook in her body when they had that session at the bathroom.
Korra felt Tarrlok's stare, "Stop it, you're creeping me out." She whispered. They were acting dodgy enough; she was told not to talk too loudly nor was she able to stray from them and even explicitly explained to her that she was not to address Tarrlok with his name but as Jin.
"You have a stray hair on your face" he says as he tugged it behind her ear. Sweet. And when his heart skipped, he felt anxious. How was this making him anxious?
Korra felt the rush in her cheeks. This wasn't the first time Tarrlok was gentle with her yet this touch was unintentionally romantic. She couldn't pit him against what he was before. She was definitely not flustered at this! Tarrlok was a manipulating politician, she repeated over her head.
Back then he was a narcissistic politician who cared only for the goal of popularity. Maybe she was wrong. In a span of three years, a lot could happen, she thought. While this was a thought to ponder upon, there was a moot point in doing so.
They were walking in the village, and from the docks, they were to take a ferry to the nearby village of Chin. Korra could not stop the itch in her senses that everyone who walked towards or near her stared at her. And it wasn't until someone almost touched her that Tarrlok stepped in and told her to wear the hat to make them stop.
Their water tribe features probably gave them away. Although Tarrlok looked almost the same, without the blue theme, his ponytails lessened twice so he has only one ponytail now. Ikki will be disappointed.
Who was Ikki?
She shook her head, continued walking with the brothers. Tarrlok was caring unlike his brother. Noatak was just this person who appeared and then disappeared. Kind of like a spy. Like now. She just blinked and he was already up to something—another blink—then he's gone.
They boarded the boat to the next village, Tarrlok giving his hand to guide Korra. Tarrlok believed that in order for people to buy their disguise, fake relationships and identities must be attained. Even if she did not need it, she took it anyway. When they sat at the nearest seat, an old couple in earth nation garments passed by.
Then the lady stared at Korra, "My, I see you youngsters have no trouble expressing your love especially in these times." she said warmly.
What was she to say?
"Pardon my wife, she's mute." Tarrlok butted in as he pulled her closer to his side.
Shocked and flustered, Korra covered her mouth as response 'mute wife?!'
When the couple greeted their goodbyes to take a seat somewhere else, she nudged Tarrlok as annoyance. Looking at her pissed face.
"Relax, you probably would've broken our cover soon as you tried to explain."
Noatak came into view. "I got our Identifications." He handed out to the two.
Korra read her name to be Rin and Tarrlok was Jin. She giggled. Rin and Jin the happily wedded couple.
A possible running joke once this is all over.
There were gossips around for a while that Korra took interest in. Her hat covered her face safe enough for people to mistake her for who she is. The boat ride is not going to be long, though the information she could get could be more enticing.
"I wonder what's going on near the village. I heard there was a riot."
"Again? I thought Kuvira left them alone..."
"Well she's an extremist. It's not like Amon himself stopped at those who harmed the non benders years ago."
"Yeah, but the Avatar intervened back then. She's not here now to back us up in case something goes awry."
On the other side, Korra heard another topic from Kuvira's defenses.
"DId you hear? Kuvira's building some kind of tech made from spirits' energy."
"That's almost never a good idea. Didn't the water tribe messed with it and Republic city had trees as houses now?"
"Yeah and didn't some huge spirit giants battled there?"
"We're in some deep kind of shit."
Korra's brow furrowed. This is exactly what she feared would hear. Tarrlok nudged back seemingly sympathizing with what she is hearing--possibly also in discomfort--then a sudden arm loomed over her shoulders guiding her somewhere else. It was Noatak. This was unlike him to be hands on but as she felt that he wasn't exactly touching her. Was he that scared of touching a human? His cold demeanor still made her shiver. She was looking for Tarrlok. He was familiar. Noatak was not.
"Jin is working on the papers for our travels."
Korra realising she was introduced as a mute shut her mouth before she tried to reply. Her eyes gleamed with excitement as she saw the Village materializing and the Kyoshi island disappearing into the mists.
***
Tarrlok came into view with the documents and some of their bags, Korra got the rest of it. Noatak reading documents from behind and then they went down the boat. The view was ecstatic. Chin Village was not that big, but the tundra in the South Pole pales in comparison to this earth city.
Korra smiled, so this was the city! The glorious lights and people. The full--but then she thought--This was all vaguely familiar. She looked back to Tarrlok and Noatak and they were busy plotting which was the best route to go undetected. Attacking Kuvira head on will only ruin their plans.
Her eyes were pulled at the nearest stall that sells jewelry. She caught at the sight of the blue handcrafted water tribe insignia pendant. It dearly reminded her of home, of her parents, Katara. She hoped that Katara would understand what she was going through; it wasn't as if she was at fault for forgetting, but her guilt was so big that she felt teary eyed.
A tap on her shoulder led her to believe that it was Tarrlok or Noatak. When she turned around, she was greeted by a scammer. He shouted, "What's your problem!" blaming her as if she was at fault for something. Shocked, she couldn't say anything. It's either she'll fall prey to these scammers, or she'll fight back. Looking around, more people seem to be looking their way.
Tarrlok noticed the lack of femininity around, he looked under his arms, over Noatak who was also looking for the similar woman he was. When he landed his eyes on a large group of people, the cluster of them formed more in a circular form, as if watching a brawl.
A bead of sweat trickled down Tarrlok's temple and Noatak loses color on his face. 'That impatient woman!' Thinking that it was definitely Korra again just like when she first arrived at Republic City.
Running towards the brawling, they were surprised. It was not Korra at all. Rather, Korra was the one cheering behind one of the brawlers. Noatak pushed towards Korra, grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away from the masses.
"Wait!" She shouted as she got away from Noatak's grip, "He's gonna win!"
Tarrlok sighed as he rubbed his temple, quickly he grabbed her by the waist and over his shoulder. Finally she shut up. Embarrassed. Pink colouring her whole face covered by her hat. Noatak only followed suit as they walked away from the cluster and to the nearest Inn.
"You can let me down now..."
"Highly unlikely, you couldn't exactly control yourself with that brawl. And now we can't use the excuse of you being mute wife." Tarrlok replied.
"Hey it's your idea you could've chosen a more simple alibi like... I don't know, a blabbermouth sister since we do look like we're from the same mother to them." She whispered.
"Oh don't flatter yourself, I'm completely your opposite."
"It makes perfect sense then."
Noatak scoffed he could not hear what they were talking about but the mere sight of them made his blood boil, "Stop it both of you, at this point everyone thinks you're two bickering married couple."
Both flushed. Awkward. Tarrlok coughed as to bluff and put her down, Korra scratched her pointed nose as she fixed the hem of her slitted dress. Noatak just walked faster to the Inn. What is this feeling? The moment he stepped inside, there were earth kingdom soldiers. It was problematic. Tarrlok was not recognizable outside Republic City, but Korra is. They need to walk carefully.
"I see you've been travelling far and wide, fellow water tribesmen!" Cried the Innkeeper.
They were wearing enough earth kingdom clothes, how did they know? "Oh not from the water tribe? Such a shame, I heard they had the best recipe for these urchins."
Korra bowing her head so as to cover her face with the hat, felt like the ground will respond, as if alive. She did not mind it at first, but the call was too loud. When Tarrlok managed to coerce the innkeeper and give them two separate adjacent rooms. "It'll be easier for us to rent two as we are married..."
"Yeah but we won't be sleeping in the same room, right?"
Tarrlok only chuckled.
The door opened to her room, "Ladies first." Says Noatak. She walked in and lay her bag at the nearest chair. "We'll be by the next room, avatar." He continued formally.
Korra lay down on her bed. She was left alone. "At last!" She said to herself. This was the first time in hours that she's been left alone. The moon shone on her window, breezy wind blowing her hair.
This was the perfect time to meditate on her own memories. Sitting on the bed, she concentrated as she let the quiet stir her spirit. A vision escaped in her mind... what really happened in the south pole, what happened in her first arrival in Republic City, her avatar team, her first nemesis namely, Amon, and the equalists. It all came rushing down and she couldn't get past the block of the next memory--where did Amon go? Why was Tarrlok gone as well?
Figuring out how to erase that block again she focused but thought better that a good night's rest was going to be a better solution.
'I am the solution' She heard a whisper. It came from nowhere... she was going crazy. The voice was cold. Chilling. Void of all warmth that she was used to. Perhaps the block was there for a good reason. She stopped remembering and left it at that. The past may be better off not reminiscing if it's that bad anyway. She opened her eyes, noticing the beads of sweat that was on her skin head to toe.
Korra slid off the bed and took a cold shower that night.
***
"Brother, are you seriously considering courting the avatar at this state?" Whispered Noatak. He was going to sleep on the sofa since the bed was too small for both of them and he does not like physical touch.
"No." Coldly, Tarrlok shifted under the bed turning away from Noatak's glare. "If she knew what we did, you think she'll stay? I doubt it."
"I can see the way you look at her. It would save you the heartbreak if you remain at a distance..."
"What Korra needs right now is exactly the opposite of what you just said, brother."
"Indulge me, then."
Tarrlok couldn't take it, he sat up the bed to look at Noatak, who was also waiting for an answer. "She is confused as of now. Remembering her memories will only make her fragile. If this is our way of making amends, do you really think staying away from her helps? I'd think she needs us most in this time as she needs people to trust in a vast land of the unknown."
"I have a different approach in helping..." Says Noatak eluding his glances to his brother. He looks up to the moon, "She needs someone to have faith in her. Giving her space will help."
While they exchange more theories on how to help Korra without getting attached, the soldiers down the inn were planning in investigating the new visitors. Surely, the way the innkeeper cried 'watertribe' meant that these people were alien. It only means that they were smuggled into going inside the kingdom.
The next few days were not so spiritually enlightening to Korra. Noatak said that a few days in this city will reground her in the current state of the Earth Kingdom, both politically and in reality.
"In the ancient history, both of your predecessors were indeed here. Kyoshi and Aang." Noatak said as if reminiscing while retelling the story of how Kyoshi Island got its name.
"Still haven't met them." Korra replied. "I'll probably meet them soon though."
While Tarrlok prepared the tub for the healing session, Noatak went out after their conversation. Their disguises worked at least. Korra went inside the bathroom. Stretching and preparing for the best way not to slip again like the first time. She blushed.
"Get in the tub, Rin."
"Shut up... Jin."
Tarrlok rolled his eyes, as Korra got in the tub. Relaxing, Tarrlok breathed in as he lowered himself to a bow. Exhaling, he raised his arms and the water glowed hugging Korra's figure. He closed his eyes as he concentrated flawlessly. Korra meditated as she tried regaining her memories.
"Your time as the avatar is over. Let go."
The voice was that same cold unwavering fear that swallowed her whole. She grunted--her brows almost meeting at the center--she tried waking up. Her mind was filled with visions. Visions she would rather have forgotten. Shaking horribly, her eyes glowed.
Tarrlok thought of stopping, but he also thought that his healing water was the only thing keeping her out of control and inside her body. He bit inside his cheek, apologised mentally to Korra as he raised the water higher. She was still shaking.
***
Korra was not in the spirit world. Nor was she in the same room Tarrlok was. She was in a pool where she remembered that she lost her connection to the past avatars. She was left confused.
How did Avatar Kuruk contact her if she lost them to... her uncle Unalaq?
"Hello again, Korra." Avatar Kuruk was behind her.
"This is wrong! Why are you still here? I thought I lost my past lives?"
Kuruk patiently waited until she was done asking questions. When she quiet down, he let the environment flow as they arrived at the same place he gave her bending.
"Korra, I am you. I am sure you are familiar that killing the avatar in her avatar state will stop the cycle."
"Can you... clear it up?"
"It's simple. Killing you in that state will stop the cycle. Yet you are here, are you not?"
"But why couldn't I contact you all sooner!?"
"The thing is Korra, I do not know either. But I do know that I am here because you have resolved a block that makes you reachable for me."
"I don't understand Avatar Kuruk, why can't I just get all my bending right now?"
"Because as I said, Korra, you need to resolve what was."
Quickly, the scenery exposed her memories. Alone. From the antagonistic arch enemies; Amon, Unalaq, and Zaheer. Nothing but how they had nearly killed her. How nearly they had trampled her being from who she was.
Poison in her blood.
She could feel it running. How heavy it was.
How it pulled her down and how it stopped her from trying.
***
Tarrlok had to wake her, her pulse was so quick that he was worried she'll die. Her shaking stopped. Panic pricked his skin and he ran towards her body. Her pulse was weak.
"Don't you dare leave." He says. If she dies, the spirits will destroy his soul.
Tarrlok carried Korra in his left arm as he bent the water on his right hand to Korra's heart. He needed to maintain the balance of pumping her heart.
Korra's eyes were still glowing white, but her soul was trapped in the place where her past clung to her like magnets.
"Let go" said the cold voice in her mind.
But there was this other voice that holds a warmth. It pounds in her chest that tells her not to give in.
Tarrlok still holding her made him think of the repercussions. What exactly was at stake? He couldn't bear to think of losing her. Was this all a lie? A feeling implanted by Yue in order to forcefully take care of the avatar?
However it didn't matter now as he could not afford to worry. She deeply reminds him of how he lost his mother in his arms. The reasonable explanation to his guilt as he continuously heals her.
"You know... I swear, after this, I will not care what you think of me. I know my feelings for you are clouded by confusion. Still my emotions tell me to care not because of this stupid arrangement. So count yourself lucky, Korra. Don't you dare die on me"
Korra doesn't hear his sentiments. Her glowing eyes seeming to give signs to Tarrlok that she is still dealing with her demons. It's taking too long, he thinks.
In the other realm, Korra was in a dark place battling her enemies. She was stuck in here with no one to guide her other than the piece of light that she sees in front. She did not know how long it was taking her however since this is the only thing that provides her guidance, this is the only path to go.
Reaching for the light, she zoomed in till there was no darkness left.
Her memories came rushing in. The good ones, Tenzin and his family, everyone's whereabouts. How Mako was her first kiss. And the bad ones, how Tarrlok bloodbend her and how Amon was Noatak.
***
Tarrlok felt the will of her heart. The water from
His hand was moved back to the tub as he tried to listen to her pulse. She was back.
Slowly her eyes drooped down slowly then opened up back to their blue orbs. At first she was so peaceful. So serene and beautiful. He closed in on her and caressed her face. The feeling was overwhelmingly tempting. Droplets fell on her cheeks as he cautiously let his forehead touch hers. There were no exact words that he could use to express his relief.
She was disoriented the first few moments. Realising that she was in the arms of Tarrlok; the one who kidnapped, blood bended and treated her like a piece of bargaining chip for his own good.
Her eyes widened, throat dried, and her face ran beads of sweat. Tarrlok could still be possibly be using her for his own gain. And Noatak. Why reconvene with his traitorous brother?
She tensed up from Tarrlok's touch. Swiftly, she slapped Tarrlok's hand away from her face. It was almost like he was going to kiss her... kiss? Her? Why?!
"Why are you helping me?" Korra couldn't believe she stayed with them and let them help her! There was no strength in her legs and she couldn't get away from Tarrlok's arms.
Tarrlok felt a pang of shame. There was no escaping the Avatar's words. "I..." he sighed not putting in words what he was supposed to tell her. How can he? She remembered a Tarrlok from a time who would've done everything for a narcissistic goal.
"I... I can tell you that I am helping you for a far greater cause—the kind that you don't have to understand." —yes because of all the causes he could've dreamed of fighting for—it's actually for his own sanity for her safety. The fact that he almost lost her puts him on edge, then keeping her alive would mean paradise.
Korra got out of Tarrlok's arms with a huge effort and he let her go willingly. Perhaps a time alone will set her thoughts straight. And with that he left her to the bathroom.
Reflecting, she needed someone who could help her get back to her old self. The self where there is pure happiness, strength, and will. Understanding her past may not have been the best plan. Not to mention the two criminals with her.
How could she forget them? Amon of all people? The exact masked man whom everything had started as it gnawed their way to her inches of safety.
***
Tarrlok prepared food in the next room. He thinks that communication will bring a common interest. Hearing the showers, he couldn't stop himself from visualising Korra. He needed to stop it. Although the temptation was there, like earlier, to meld with her. Softly, gently, like there was eternal darkness before his meeting with the fire.
She got out of the walk in closet which was the room before the baths.
"So... Avatar Korra, I believe an elaboration is in order." He managed to get her attention, alright. They both sat down at the dining and the atmosphere was too thick.
"I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier." Korra started. "Although I don't exactly know your motives. Thank you for helping me regain my memories." She had to think of a way to get her own answers. If he was manipulating her, then she needed to do the same.
Shocked, Tarrlok wondered what had happened. The Korra he knew wouldn't be this apologetic, nor was she this calm.
"It's alright. Assuming you had your memories back, I understand the need for mistrust. I deserved it."
"But I still am kind of confused, councilor—Tarrlok" she couldn't stop herself. Sincerely, she looked at him, "Why did you help me, knowing that I can regain my past?"
"Nothing here was done out of our own wills. We had a spiritual encounter that made us do so, Korra."
Upset, Korra looked down. "So... all of this wasn't some effort as a gesture of altruism? This was all against your will?"
Why would she care about what he thinks? It's not like she would appreciate being courted a man who threatened her life before.
"I doubt you'd care to know the truth." he said coldly. "But who knows?"
Korra fidgeted in her seat avoiding direct eye contact without anything to say.
"I know you're confused—goodness we thought we never had to see you again of all people—it seems that Yue had more plans." His words ring true and Korra told herself
"But Noatak? The Amon? Is... he still?.."
"My brother and I have come into terms with it, Avatar. We never lied to you—"
"Well you did considering you omitted a few things..."
Tarrlok sighed. This reminds him so much of their relationship back at Republic City. He smirked. "Ah, Korra. Such a good thing you're back. It brings me excitement in the coming days." He says cooly. Thinking that this was a continuation of their arguments back then.
Rapidly fumbling over what she hears, she accidentally dropped her fork. "Ehrm. Sure Tarrlok... whatever." She looks up at Tarrlok, he was looking at her. Embarrassed again she dropped her eyes on her plate and quickly finished eating.
Tarrlok fell deep in thought. Even then when they first met; when he was this dashing northerner who fancied everything nice and she was this rugged teenager who fancied rough sports. He knew there was a possibility of chemistry.
Now if it weren't for Amon, he would've proceeded to court her and eventually propose a political arrangement. There was no one better than him befitting with her stature. Alas, it was not to be. He snapped away from his thoughts, remembered what he said earlier "Don't you dare die on me." He now ponders if she had heard.
"Avatar,—"
"Just call me Korra. It's not like you'd kill me now anyway."
"Yes, pardon me for asking, but how fares your memory?" There was a genuine hint of remorse for this.
"Well I remember more than what I had before. I have plans to unblock my chi if I were to truly face my inner shitty demons."
"Language, Korra."
"Hey! You're not my dad, councilor."
"Sure, I'm only a decade older than you. But I'm old enough to tell you to respect your elders... and mind your manners in front of food."
She smirked. Nothing like the old days when they were out for each others' necks for the goal. This was a friendly banter. Nothing more.
There was a sudden knock at the door. Tarrlok let the man in.
Chilled in fear, Korra observed the man named Noatak carefully. Intently, like a hunter, she moved slowly not to get his undivided attention.
He was currently talking to Tarrlok not minding the glares Korra was shooting him. "Does she know?" He asked. Tarrlok nodded. Well, shit. He looked at Korra, who was still glaring.
"I feel your mistrust, young avatar. But we are no harm to you, as we have shown for the past weeks." He said. While his voice show now emotion, it was a hard thing for him to do. He let it sink back to him the nightmares he may have caused this young woman.
Yet Korra was still glaring. There was little point in assuming that she'll give her trust to them easily after all that's happened.
"Noatak, Korra has said something about chi blocked. I think you can help her." Tarrlok said. Noatak couldn't help to roll his eyes to his request. He was practically head over heels for the girl. Why he couldn't just give it up was way beyond him.