𝔟𝔲𝔫𝔤𝔬𝔲 𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔡𝔬𝔤𝔰 𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔰

ᴅᴀᴢᴀɪ ᴏsᴀᴍᴜ ᴀ-ᴢ

While I finish making the Soukoku oneshot, here's an (NSFW) A-Z headcanon for Dazai! I'll be doing an ADA! Dazai and a Mafia! Dazai separately. 

Credits to the creator for this A-Z headcanon game: fairy-tale-babes on Tumblr

Reminder: this will be an x Neutral! Reader (for any gender)

Enjoy <3

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ADA! Dazai

A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

Dazai is very caring and needy for cuddles after an intimate round (or maybe a few rounds) of sex. He loves to kiss you all over as you're falling asleep in his arms. He might play with your hair a bit too while you're sleeping (if he's even still awake) and will probably braid random bits of your hair. He'll always make sure you're okay after if he was too rough, kissing any bruises he might've left.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

In all honesty, Dazais favorite body part of his is his neck. He may or may not have a thing for necks, especially ones with a prominent collarbone. Holy hell, collarbones are hot. He melts whenever you kiss the nape of his neck and go down to the crevice of his collarbone. Whenever the two of you are messing around, he finds it hilarious yet sexy at the same time when you pour water into his collarbone and you drink it out of the crevice. 

For you, he loves everything. He adores every body part of yours. You're beautiful <3

Your ass. He loves your ass. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically... I'm a disgusting person)

Dazai.Loves.Cum. It's so bad... he loves seeing you covered in his white seed, from your face to your toes. He could easily go multiple rounds and cum loads still. You find it slightly strange how he's so intimate and all about sex with you being romantic, yet it always ends up being some kinky shit. 

What's his cum like? Well, it's... a lot. He can cum a lot, let's just say that. Not like the hentai boys that will cum a whole pond, but enough that you laugh about it when your face is completely covered in white. It's a pretty thick and pure white kind of pasty substance, though it does taste really good for some reason. Perhaps it's because he's always eating Japanese food. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Once, the door to your room wasn't shut all the way and Dazai had come back from the Armed Detective Agency, he almost shouted an "I'm home!" like he always did when he came home from work, but this time he didn't. He heard you grunt as if you were struggling, so he curiously walked over to your room. In the crack of the door that was slightly open, he saw you trying to shove yourself into a rather... kinky outfit. Dazai gaped at you as you changed into various revealing outfits, getting hard at the sight. So... you guessed it. He totally jerked it while watching you change. He could easily just bust you and end up having sex with you, but there was something about you changing and not knowing he was watching you appealing. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

To say the least, very experienced. In almost a bad way since he had sex a lot in his Mafia days and did some... horrible things to people. He definitely knows what he's doing, but he's not as used to the romantic, funny, and cute sex that normal people have since he's so used to the torturing kind of sex that he thought was normal. 

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Dazai has various favorite positions he loves to do, but his absolute top 3 would have to be the classic: Doggystyle, Missionary, and Reverse Cowgirl. He also very much appreciates the Sledge position. What can I say, Dazai is an ass kinda man. 

He falls in love with you a bit more whenever you ride him. He does enjoy taking control sure, but he also thinks he needs to teach himself to not hurt you if/when he does. This way, whenever you take control he can learn to be gentle and loving instead of torturing you. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Most of the time he's very serious and tends to get very naughty thoughts in the moment due to his Mafia days. Although, since he tries his very best to control himself during sex, he never really jokes around during it. If you laugh if something funny happens while you're both going at it, of course, he'll laugh because of your smile.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He makes sure to shave down there. Dazai isn't entirely fond of a bush growing because he thinks the prickly feeling is uncomfortable, especially during sex. He doesn't mind it if you have a little bush, but he's gonna suggest you trim if it's a whole ass jungle. 

Yes, the carpet matches the drapes. Just a simple dark-ish brown. Though, you'll never get to see it because he makes sure to shave if it starts getting prickly.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...) 

He always says how he's going to be very romantic and intimate, but he never is, as mentioned before. Everything turns out to be kinky and rough. However, the only time the two of you had any sort of romantic session of sex is when it was your first time with him. He took extra precautions to make sure you were okay and that he wasn't hurting you in any way, taking it slow and steady. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Ahh, here's a good one. A very memorable time, indeed. One time you both wanted to try something new and so you experimented... you did mutual masturbation together. It was a competition to see who would cum first– whoever did had to buy the other dinner. It was very, uh... interesting. All in all, you ended up losing since Dazai has the powers of God bestowed upon him to hold in his orgasm for however long he needs to.  

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Is ass kink a thing? If so, he has one of those. Dazai also loves necks. Did I mention that? He loves n e c k s.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Well, this is an x Neutral reader so I mean....

But, if you have a peen, then your ass. If you have a vagina, then there. But he likes anal either way, so... there's that!

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Whenever you bite your lip, show off your neck; even the smallest bit by tracing it whenever you're lost in thought. He also really likes it whenever you bend down to get something, the way your ass looks like it's practically going to pop right out of your pants is what really gets his engine going. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do, turn-offs)

Anything to do with feet. God, that's the one thing he absolutely hates. Feet are disgusting no matter how clean they are. But, if it's been a long day for you and you need a lil foot rub, he'll do it on your command. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Certainly loves to give head. He finds it very dirty and loves watching you suffer from his masterful tongue pleasuring you. He does very much enjoy receiving head though, looking down at you sucking his length turns him on a lot.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

For your first time, it was slow and sensual... however, ever since then it's only been rough and almost hardcore. Whenever you got used to him he would pull your hair, choke you, and pound into you mercilessly. Although, when you started getting bruises he instantly felt horrible and it reminded him of when he was in the Port Mafia, so he asked if you would rather take control instead so he could learn to be more sensual. You, of course, took up the offer and ever since then you mostly took control, which was nice. But sometimes you'll get a little bored and switch so that it's rough again. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Quickies are the sexiest thing ever for him. He loves the rush of adrenaline he gets whenever he feels like you're both about to get caught doing something lewd. If you ever tease him in public, just know he's gonna pull you over somewhere and get to it right on the get-go. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He LOVES experimenting. It's his favorite thing ever to do when it comes to sex with you. He could try practically anything, but there's an 80% chance he's already done it. Most of his experimenting was from the Port Mafia where he did loads of kinky, weird stuff. But at home with you, he does more... normal(?) experiments. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...)

Many... many rounds.... it's astonishing how long he can last. It's almost like he has complete control over when he gets horny or not. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Dazai doesn't particularly have an opinion on toys anymore at least. He now believes that you aren't satisfied with him and him only if you use toys. However, if you're experimenting, he's open to it. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Holy hell does Dazai tease a lot. It's almost too much with how much he teases you. He'll joke around with you and get you all hot and bothered, wanting some more but will just leave you like that. Most of the time when he leaves you hanging you'll do something uhm... *cough* well.... naughty. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Dazai honestly isn't very loud during sex. He mostly just lets out some groans and airy moans, but that's about it. He lets out some more noise whenever he's in control and slamming into you, but when you're in control it's a bit quieter since he's focused on not switching roles. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Once upon a time, long long ago!!! Both of you did it up in the alleyway while you were on a mission. You still feel horrible since it was such an important mission yet you totally had sex in the middle of it. You were on this mission with Tanizaki, Dazai, and Kenji, scouting the streets for a lowlife thug with some kind of gift that was robbing a bunch of jewelry stores. You and Dazai walked behind Tanizaki and Kenji, so you both had the perfect opportunity to do whatever or say whatever behind their backs without them knowing. So, Dazai knowing this, decided to tease you while you were all scouting. In the end, you both ended up making the excuse that you "saw the perpetrator in the alleyway", so you ran there. You ended up making out and doing the do behind a dumpster. Not gonna lie, it was pretty fun minus how bad it smelled. 

Don't worry though, after you both finished, the jewelry stealer actually ended up being in that alleyway watching you two have sex. So, of course, you caught him. 

X = X-Ray (Let's see what's going on in those pants, picture or words)

Holy shit is he big. Not like thick, big. I mean slender and long. Perhaps it's just you that thinks he's humongous, but maybe he really is? He is 5'11" in height, which is pretty tall for a 22-year-old. But, his length... a whopping 6 1/2 inches, almost 7. It's almost average, but not quite. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Way too fucking high, lol. You and the suicidal maniac do the do practically 3 times a day, breakfast, lunch, dinner. It doesn't matter where you are, what you're doing, anything. If either you or Dazai gets turned on by something, you'll be satisfying your needs then and there. 

Z = ZZZ (... how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Dazai doesn't really get all that tired after, but it completely depends how much work was put into it. If you two did multiple rounds, he's gonna be quite tired. However, if you did the work, he'll just play with your hair as you sleep and eventually get tired from your soft snores. 

Mafia! Dazai

(Not all letters will be in this one if they also apply to ADA! Dazai)

A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

Dazai couldn't care less about the well-being of his subordinates after sex. It doesn't matter if they're half-dead on the ground or if they're bleeding, he won't care. He'll tell them to suck it up and leave. He's typically a bit angry after having sex because nobody really enjoys it, per se. Sure, he loves it when they're screaming in pain and telling him to stop, but he also wants them to obey him, not defy him. However, you're a special case. You seem to like the stuff he does to you, even if you are almost bleeding to death– you're an exception. Dazai will have Mori patch you up and make you come back when needed for more of his torture sessions. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Dazai has a thing for getting a new person to have sex with whenever he feels like it. Whenever he gets stressed from work or is sexually frustrated, he'll call up any man or woman to pump and dump. His underlings find it a bit weird but they never ask questions, so they just kidnap a random person off the streets that look decent and healthy and brings them to Dazai for him to play with. Although, this is hardly necessary considering he enjoys screwing your brains out. Yes, it's horrible... but what else can you expect from a powerful Mafia executive?

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Dazai doesn't typically do the same positions over and over again since he loves to experiment and do a variety of different things, but he does favor the 69 position. Normally, he just ties up his subordinate and does whatever he pleases with them. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Dead serious. There's absolutely no chance you're going to be laughing and he'll laugh back. If Dazai ever does laugh, it's because you're squirming around like a fish as he tortures you. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...) 

There's no intimacy at all whenever he has sex with any of his other subordinates. It's just plain torture, nothing romantic about it. Since you are the one person that seems to enjoy the things Dazai does to you, he'll be looking forward to fucking you way more. It's no doubt that you can spring a softer side to him, but you'll be lucky if you two can ever have a normal round of sex. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

This is so bad, but Dazai doesn't need to jerk off! He only needs to call you up to satisfy his needs whenever and wherever

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

There's nothing that particularly turns Dazai on... he only really gets horny whenever he's sexually frustrated from the loads of work he does. Although, I think the only thing that kind of gets him going is the sight of you tied up and hanging where you are completely vulnerable. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Dazai is extremely rough with you, there is never a time where he goes slow and sensual whatsoever. Almost always you'll be leaving his office with bruises, bite marks, hickeys, bright red hand prints, and scratches all over your body. He makes sure that he leaves some kind of mark on you to show that you are his and his only. It's thanks to you that innocent people don't get picked off the streets to be tortured by him anymore. Go you! lol.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Mr. Osamu has LOTS of toys. It's overwhelming how many he has. There's a variety of dildos, from small to big, anal plugs, anal beads, vibrators, strap ons, literally everything you could ever think of. He also has one of those neat contraptions that will allow him to hang you up– think of it as a swing. Not gonna lie, Mafia! Dazai is just Christian Grey.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

I genuinely can't come up with anything, so let your mind wander :)