You stared at your sketch pad with vehemence.
You couldn't get your mind straight and you seemed to be out of sorts. Your thoughts and feelings were all twisted and jumbled. It made you want to scream.
On the inside you were a wreck but on the outside you tried to play cool indifference. As if nothing had ever changed.
How could it be that just a couple of weeks ago you found out the truth. That you and wheeljack were connected in some way. And even shared an amazing private moment together.
Though nothing really happened when ratchet left you two alone. You both just silently enjoyed each others company until ratchet came back and had you both do more tests which caused you to fall asleep on wheeljack. But when you woke up he was nowhere to be found.
You knew that you haven't dreamt everything. You were sure it was real. You were sure that wheeljack loved you in some way. Now you were starting to have doubts.
You could hear the others laughing and enjoying the company of their cybertronian companions and you bristled.
"WHO does HE THINKS HE IS anyways!" You snapped as you stood up abruptly from your spot and stomped into the elevator.
Once to the top you tossed your sketching materials aside and began to pick up rocks to lob over the edge.
Everyone inside the base stopped immediately after you disappeared. Ratchet started to make his way to the elevator when Arcee put a servo on his shoulder and stopped him.
You were on your 9th rock when you heard the elevator behind you to see arcee.
Your look turned sour and slumped near the edge of the cliff.
Arcee sat down next to you and let out a vent.
"Care to chat?" She asked genuinely.
You let out a sigh of your own. Full of pent up frustration.
"I don't understand. One moment he tells me he cares for me and then he up and leaves without a word."
Arcee gave you an apologetic look.
"You have to understand that wheeljack is just like that."
You fought back the tears that were threatening to come. "But he promised he wouldn't." You mumbled softly.
Arcee vented another sigh and looked out in the distance. "I'm sorry that you feel this way. I know I'm not wheeljack but is there anything I could do to help you feel better? "
You looked up at her as she looked down at you. She seemed genuine. It was nice having someone there for you again.
You cracked a small smile. "I think a motorcycle ride would be nice. "
Arcee rolled her optics teasingly and a smile graced her features. "Anything to make you feel better. "
You both got up and walked together to the elevator.
Once inside Arcee looked down at you. "Now you know I like following protocol. Which means no speeding. Also that we immediately report to base if there is any decepticon activity. "
You shrugged your shoulders. "I know."
"But just this time. For you; I might pull some strings and make an exception."
You looked up at her with excitement and surprise. "Really?!"
With that the elevator doors opened. "we'll see."
Jack seemed to materialize next to you with a helmet in his hands.
"How did you?.... " you trailed off taking the helmet.
Jack gave a wink. "I know you better than you think." You threw yourself on him in an excited attempt of a hug. "Thank you guys!"
Ratchet then approached you. "Be careful." You nodded and then looked at Arcee. "Ready when you are."
Arcee transformed down as you put on your helmet. Having you climb on when you were ready.
With a thumbs up and a wave you two were off. Zipping through the long tunnel and out into the bright Nevada landscape.
You felt the hot wind hit your body as you sped along the lonely road. It felt so good to feel free. You took a deep breath of fresh air. Your mood had already lifted significantly.
Arcee's mirrors twitched to see you and a smile washed over her systems. "I see that you are already feeling better."
"Well of course! Thanks Arcee!" Arcee just chuckled to herself. "Anytime."
You started to near the small city and you felt excited. You missed getting out and seeing human civilization for a change. It was nice. As long as you didn't have to interact with anyone.
You rode along the streets. Looking at all the buildings and people walking around. You couldn't help it but look around. It was hard trying to act like you were the one actually steering when you were constantly getting distracted.
"Scrap! " You were jolted out of your daze.
"What's wrong!? " you panicked. You were finally relaxed and now trouble?!
"That kid over there. In the car with the flames."
Your head snapped in the direction that arcee tried to show you. You instantly got a bad feeling.
"That's Vince isn't it." you groaned. From the description that Jack gave it seemed to match perfectly.
"We got to get out of here before he notices us." Arcee said sternly and tried to think of a good way not to draw attention.
Vince was a ways away heading towards you both as you were nearing the intersection. Without much of a warning arcee made a quick right then made another quick right and sped to the closest place to park out of view. You were hoping he didn't notice. But more than likely he did.
You both sat in silence and waited with baited breath. Until you knew that he was not going to follow. You could hear your heart whooshing in your ears from fear.
Once you thought the coast was clear you both heard the rumble of an engine getting closer.
You were in a alleyway and tried your best to hide in the shadows. You could feel arcee tense under you. You didn't fare any better.
Your heart nearly stopped as you saw Vince's car go by. Arcee's processor was much quicker than your mind and was already in motion by the time you could even process a single thought. She quickly backed out the other end of the alleyway.
You both had already almost made it to the other end when you saw Vince's car back up to the entrance of the alley.
Many swears; cybertronian and human; were flying off your lips as you both took off before Vince could get a good look. Or get any closer. You heard the roar of the teens engine and knew he wasn't just going to let you escape. Your heart hammered in your chest as adrenalin was running through your veins. Why won't this person just let go?! You gripped onto Arcee as she sped down the road. Escaping down the highway reaching speeds that you knew were over the limit.
You both knew it would be bad if Vince noticed you weren't Jack.
You looked back to see if the teen was still in pursuit. To your relief you didn't see him and prayed that he just gave up and left you alone.
"I think he's gone!" you tried to yell over Arcee's loud engine.
You watched as Arcee angled her mirror to check that you were in the all clear and slowed down to the actual speed limit.
It didn't take long for you both to reach the base.
Everyone was surprised at how fast you came back. But the look you had on your face when you pulled off your helmet had everyone worried.
They began to approach you but stopped in their tracks when you began to laugh crazily as you slid off of arcee to let her transform. Then everyone was really concerned.
"You have no idea what we just went though!" you laughed.
You proceeded to tell everyone your tale but purposely left out breaking traffic laws for primes and ratchets sake. All the while Arcee looked down at you with a fond smile. Maybe it wasn't the way she planned but she still was able to make you feel better and not think about what was bothering you. She was glad she could help.
After relaxing a bit and playing some video games with the boys. Miko had planned to take you out with bulkhead for some fun. So the three of you bridged out to a deserted location for some dune smashing fun.
You cheered and laughed as bulkhead would plow through the huge mounds of sand.
"Ooohhhh that one next! That one next!" you cheered in unison with Miko at the next dune. It seemed larger than the others and you wondered if you would be able to conquer it.
"Eh no problem!" bulkhead boasted with confidence.
"I don't know bulk. Looks like a challenge! " Miko teased. But there was determination in her voice. Miko would not accept defeat and neither would bulk.
Bulkhead backed up a bit to be able to get more speed.
"Ready!" you called.
"Set!" Miko echoed.
"Go!" you both yelled out together as bulkhead shot off barreling towards the dune.
Bulkhead broke through the side and slowed some. Plowing through the mass of sand. But busted through the other end in victory.
"We made it! we made it!" Miko cheered excitedly.
"I knew I could do it! " bulkhead bragged. You couldn't help but let out a snicker. Their euphoria was infectious.
You both eventually got hungry so you went to get some fast food. You sat outside as you enjoyed your meals. "So have you been working on anything?" Miko asked suddenly as you were eating. You were caught off guard. "what? " Miko only laughed which earned her a weird look from you. "I mean with your art! Have you been working on any particular sketches lately."
"Oh. Nothing in particular right now. Just the usual." Miko then nudged you in the arm. "You should show me some of them." You smiled and nudged her back "maybe". You nearly shot up from your position. "Awe scrap! I left my art supplies on top of the base! " Miko got up with you. Since she just finished her meal. "We can go back if you want to."
You nodded. You figured if you didn't do it now you would only forget again and leave it up there longer and wonder where you left it.
You quickly finished your meal and raced back to the base.
You wanted to get back before it got dark and the sun was already starting to set.
You reached the base just as the sun was dipping below the horizon. You walked up to your haphazardly tossed art supplies and brushed the dirt off. Quietly apologizing to them for their maltreatment.
You turned to look at the dimming sky one last time. You couldn't believe how the day turned out. How much you went through to get where you were. To have FRIENDS again.
As you walked back to the elevator and made your decent you couldn't stop thinking about how loved you were.
You came back down as the kids were saying their goodbyes to the rest of the autobots and getting ready to head home with their guardians.
You quickly walked down the stairs where Miko and the rest of the group.
You threw your arms around your friends in a tight hug. "Thank you guys for everything! It really means a lot to me how far you went to make me feel better. I'm so lucky to have you guys." with that you looked up at everyone. "I'm so lucky to have all of you." everyone looked back at you with soft and warm smiles. They really did care about you. And for some reason that blew you away. But made you feel warm inside.
Just as Miko was about to hop in bulkhead and take off you nudged her. "I promise to show you those pictures. If you can how about tomorrow?"
Miko made a determined look. "Guess I'm gonna have to make sure I can get here as soon as I can tomorrow!" you them both laughed and fist bumped.
You watched them leave the base with a soft smile. You really were lucky to have them as friends. Ratchet noticed your smile and felt his spark lift inside of his chassis. He was so relieved that you felt better.
You were somewhat startled when his voice broke you out of your happy trance. "I know you broke traffic laws."
"wait wha-" You whipped around to look at him. But then noticed a smile on ratchets face. A GENUINE SMILE! "Are you..... Happy about that? " You were so confused. Ratchet scoffed " of COURSE I'm NOT happy about THAT. I'm just glad you are in a good mood." With that ratchet approached you and knelt down with his hand extended in a gesture that said "climb on". You did so and with utmost caution by ratchet; was lifted placed on his shoulder. Something he rarely ever did. Usually he would have you sit near his work station for convenience. It was much easier for him to move about without worrying about moving too much and you falling off. But sometimes he made the exception. He knew you enjoyed contact. You didn't care to be on your own all the time. Besides you were pretty good at holding on and he wasn't going do too much before going to retire for the night.
You held onto his large shoulder armor and watched as he worked on repairing one of his broken tools (because of bulkhead like always).
You both were surrounded by a comfortable silence as you watched him work. In a way it was peaceful. Even when he would mutter curses under his breath.
Ratchet growled and hit the work bench in frustration. "Why does bulkhead have to break EVERYTHING." He vented in frustration. You took a chance and softly rubbed your cheek against the side of his helm in an attempt to calm him. Ratchet let out a soft vent at the tender touch. Leaning in ever so softly and returned the soft display of affection as best as he could. He was not used to such intimate moments but he still appreciated it.
It made his spark feel light.
Ratchet turned his helm to look at you. You were looking at him with a sweet smile. It was infectious because a smile started to tip up his lip plates. "You are a great guardian ratchet."
ratchets spark nearly skipped a beat.
"and you're my favorite human. " ratchet replied in a quiet voice.
Your eyes began to get glassy, "Awe ratchet!" you began to rub your cheek against his lovingly. Ratchet let out a soft chuckle and ruffled your hair with his finger. He definitely was not used to such displays of affection. But since it was the only two of you he decided that he would let you share a sweet moment.
"You began to yawn. Which did not go unnoticed." ratchet checked his chronometer and realized how late it was. "I think it's best if we both recharge."
You nodded lightly and held on as ratchet made his way to the berthrooms.
He stopped at yours and crouched having you slide down on his servo.
Just as he was about to put you down you gripped onto his servo and quickly spoke. "can... I actually stay with you instead?... I got spoiled with having someone with me..." you trailed off. Like a little kid.
Ratchet let out a vent. You reminded him of a sparkling. Especially during times like these.
Ratchet let out a tired and slightly embarrassed vent. "fine but ONLY for tonight." He couldn't believe he was going to do this. But the sad and hopeful look in your eyes made him cave.
He lifted you back up and headed to his berthroom.
He made his way to his berth with embarrassment. Thank primus the other autobots didn't see him because he would never hear the end of it. They would call him an old softy for sure.
He sat down on his berth and let you climb off his servo.
As soon as he lied down you began your climb to his chassis.
You heard ratchet vent slightly. "do you HAVE TO do that?" he questioned tiredly.
You had already made your way up on his chassis and were already relaxing above his spark chamber. "yes, yes I do."
"sparkling." he teased as you stuck your tongue out at him.
You lied there watching ratchets optics dim as he fell into recharge.
"I really do appreciate you ratch. You're a great guardian. I love ya big guy. " you said softly before you relaxed on top of his warm chassis as his soft vents lulled you to sleep.
Of course ratchet heard you. And made sure to store that in his memory banks.
~
You woke up stiff and feeling rather sore and groaned loudly. Not to mention that you slept on your arm wrong.
You felt a large digit nudge you. Your mind was still foggy and you had yet to open your eyes.
You began to rub your eyes as your mind swam in confusion for a bit. You blinked away the blurriness to see ratchet looking back at you.
"Morning (name)."
Oh yeah.
You remembered the events of yesterday that led to last night. Which explained why you felt like crap.
"Did you rest well?"
You let out a mumbled "mm hmm"
Ratchet slowly got up to make sure you wouldn't fall. Once you were securely in his servo he quickly walked out of his berthroom and to your own.
Once you freshened up and changed your clothes ratchet took you back into his servo and carried you out to the main room.
So far it was only you two and the prime.
As ratchet walked past you both exchanged your good mornings as ratchet made his way to his station.
He set you down at the little space for you humans and went to go continue attempting to finish working on the piece of broken machinery that he started to repair the previous night.
You groggily hobbled to the couch and turned on the TV to quietly watch some early morning cartoons.
To your mild disappointment nothing good was on so you took the liberty to curl up with a blanket and fall back asleep. You didn't really have anything planned for awhile anyways.
You lied there for what seemed like forever. You just couldn't get comfortable even though your whole body felt like lead.
With an irritated groan you checked the time. It has been only an hour since you woke up.
And your frustration hasn't gone unnoticed.
You looked at ratchet; then optimus.
Ratchet was still working away but you caught optimus's optic.
You quirked an eyebrow back.
"is there something the matter?" the large prime asked in his deep baritone voice.
You shook your head groggily. "Can't sleep."
With that the prime nodded in understanding then turned back around to the screens he was looking at prior. He knew he personally couldn't help you with that.
You let out a soft sigh. You knew you wouldn't be able to get more sleep.
You eyed your art supplies and got up to fetch them.
You started to thumb through your different sketches. Cringing at some and admiring others. Good idea to see which ones you do and definitely don't want to show Miko.
Then you stumbled upon one that you started not too long ago.
Your finger absentmindedly traced along the lines of the sketch.
Just like that your mood plummeted. You could feel your heart drop.
"Why did you break your promise?" you mumbled softly. Tracing along the sketch of a certain wreckers helm.
What was wrong with you? Why were you getting so bent out of shape this early in the morning? You became frustrated with yourself. You shouldn't have gotten attached. Ratchet even warned you. But you were too stubborn to listen. Your judgement too clouded with emotions to care at that time.
"But I have a great guardian!" you told yourself. You had ratchet. Despite how he acts sometimes you knew he cares deeply for you. What more could you want?
You shook your head trying to clear your head from unpleasant thoughts. You should be happy. You are happy. You will not accept anything than convincing yourself that you're not anything but happy.
You stood up with determination. Your head held high and chest puffed out. You will not be defeated by your emotions!
You marched over to the railing and called out to ratchet.
Ratchet vented irritably. Walking over he came to see what was going on.
"carry me!" you demanded.
"excuse me?!"
"Carry me!"
"I am not going to carry yo-"
"CARRY ME!" You were demanding and you would not back down.
With utmost confusion and annoyance ratchet picked up your forcefully demanding little frame and walked over to his station to set you down on his workbench.
"Is THIS what you wanted." ratchet growled with irritation.
"Yes very much so thank you." you replied back with a calm and docile demeanor.
Ratchet almost flipped his workbench at how fast you changed your attitude. Sometimes you were impossible.
You tried not to laugh. Then noticed optimus approaching the two of you. You could see his optics sparkling in amusement.
The large prime cleared his vocalizer to get the medics attention.
"What seems to be the problem?"
Ratchet gave a sigh at the primes inquiry. "Nothing to be concerned with. Just her causing trouble as usual."
Ratchet then looked over to see you sticking your tongue out at him. Then looked back at the prime. "whats the matter optimus?"
The prime looked over at his screens for a moment then looked back at the two of you. "I want to send the both of you out for a small scouting mission.
Ratchet was slightly taken aback. "But Optimus! What about the others? They are better suited out in the field than I am."
"Not to worry old friend. I feel this would be well suited for you."
Ratchet couldn't argue with the prime. Once he makes up his mind. His word goes.
"As you wish."
Optimus gave a light smile and as soon as it came it was replaced with his usual serious expression.
"I will be sending you to these coordinates. I want you to look out for decepticon activity and report back to base as soon as you find any."
"Will do."
You were shocked. Ratchet almost never went out to do anything. Especially if you were involved.
Ratchet turned to you with an outstretched servo. You giddily jumped on and began to dance. "we get to go out! We get to go out!" you sang as ratchet set you down and transformed into his alt mode. Something you rarely saw.
The ambulance popped his passenger door open. To which you eagerly jumped in.
You went through the ground bridge with excitement. "I can't believe we actually get to do something together!" you laughed happily.
A smile washed over ratchets systems. He was glad you enjoyed doing things with him. And that you were in such a good mood again.
You emerged out of the colorful swirling portal to a pretty landscape.
Your eyes lit up in wonder as you looked at the rolling grassy hills.
"where are we?" you breathed. Entrapped in the bright colors.
"I'm not sure where we are since I didn't have a chance to see what the coordinates were before we were bridged out."
You nodded in silent understanding as you looked at the bright green grass mixing with different hues of reds, blues and yellows of dancing flowers.
Up ahead on the small two lane road you could see a town a few miles ahead.
"what would decepticons want here?" you asked incredulously
Ratchet seemed to let out an uncertain grumble.
"There is no clear answer of what the decepticons are possibly after in this region."
"hmmmm. Well beats me. Let's check out the town!"
Ratchet vented. "we are supposed to be keeping a low profile and ONLY searching for decepticon activity. Not sightseeing."
You huffed as you slumped in the passenger seat. "buzzkill."
It was quiet in ratchets cab. It would seem weird for an unmarked ambulance to just drive aimlessly through a town. Stopping at random locations and have a normal person get out and walk around. It's not like ratchet's alt mode was a regular vehicle like most of the other autobots.
"Fine fine. You're right." you grumbled. Besides you knew you'd find trouble one way or another.
Silence settled itself once again as you neared the town.
"If you want I can turn on the siren."
You were surprised by ratchets sudden randomness. It caught you off guard and made your face go red.
"You don't have to- YES ACTUALLY I DO!" You realized halfway through your sentence that you could do something not many people can and wanted to take that opportunity while you can.
Ratchet immediately activated his siren and lights as he sped to the town.
You started grinning like an idiot. "Ratchet speeding?! It must be the end of the world!" you teased the medic.
"Oh so am I a buzz kill now?" he poked back.
You laughed. "Nope! You are totally making up for it!"
Ratchet slowed as he neared the town.
As you entered he shut off the lights and siren. Not to draw too much attention to yourselves. But that would be hard considering the fact that you are riding in an emergency vehicle WITHOUT A DRIVER.
"So uhhh.. Do I like.... Scoot over to the driver seat or something?
"There's no need." with that a human male materialized in the driver seat.
You over dramatically flung yourself against the passenger side door. As far away as possible.
"Can you PLEASE not bang around inside of me."
"Who WHA- I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD DO THAT!"
The male looked at you with tired and unimpressed eyes. "How else do you think arcee could go around undetected before jack?"
You looked down at your twiddling thumbs feeling incredibly dumb. "oh."
You looked up at the older male. He had silvery white hair with a few orange streaks tied back in a ponytail. He had the most bright cyan eyes you would ever see on a person. His eyebrows were orange as well as a goatee. He wore a white lab coat and from what you could tell by him sitting down; he was pretty tall.
Upon your inspection you inched closer and quickly brought your hand down. Not expecting your hand to come in contact with his shoulder.
You both jumped startled. Ratchet because you basically smacked him out of nowhere and you nearly pissing yourself. Not expecting to touch something solid.
"I thought you were just a hologram! You know; like a projection?!"
Ratchet cleared his throat. "I made some adjustments so that we are more approachable to you humans. I didn't really want to tell you this. But before he left wheeljack and myself were working on a tangible holoform. As you can see that it worked."
You were in awe. You watched the way his muscles moved when he talked and how his body would flex. Just as if he were human.
"I'm quite honestly impressed. This is breathtaking! The detail.... It's immaculate! If only the kids could see this!"
You then paused for a second. "Hey wait! Why did you wait this long to show me?!"
Ratchet sighed then looked at you. You couldn't help but feel taken aback by all the detail. The way his eyes seemed like they glowed. The way his gaze seemed to pierce you with a strong look like he could truly SEE you as if those were his own very eyes.
"I wanted to wait until the time was right. But I figured might as well show you now."
You covered your mouth as you couldn't possibly contain your happiness.
You threw your arms around him in a hug. It felt so nice to be able to properly hug ratchet.
Ratchet then brought an arm up and wrapped it around you as he used his other to hold onto the steering wheel.
You released your hug with a contented sigh. "This is nice."
~
You couldn't contain your curiosity as you watched "ratchet drive". You reached out again and poked his side. Only to receive an unamused glance. "What do you think you are doing?"
You shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I was looking for more of a reaction."
"I haven't quite been able to hook up the neural sensory yet with cybertronian spark energy. I can feel pressure but not in the sense of actually FEELING."
You looked down again. "oh."
"But don't worry I'm working on it."
You looked over at him and saw he was looking at you with a smile. You couldn't help but smile back.
You then stifled a laugh. "hey ratch.... You're a ginger."
you didn't know why that amused you but it did.
"I don't get it."
"you know.... Because it's a joke that gingers have no souls.... and you're just a holoform.....And you have redish orange hair..... Ah never mind."
You both sat in silence for a bit until ratchet snorted in amusement.
"oh sure NOW you get it. " you groaned in exasperation.
"it was.... Clever. I'll give you that. "
After a while you two exchanged idle chit chat until you spoke about something that had been at the back of your mind for awhile.
"say ratchet. Is it possible to copy and store memories?"
Ratchets eyebrows furrowed at the inquiry. "for a cybertronian it's possible with the right technology."
"aaaaannndddd for a human?"
Ratchet scoffed. "what is this all about? "
You let out a sigh. "I want you to download and save my memories ratch."
"What for?"
You looked out the window. Feeling a bit embarrassed. "I don't know. Sentimentality? I don't know. It's just... I want to be able to back up my memories so I won't forget them. And that I can look back on them when I get older. To prove that I existed and so you guys can remember me as how I saw myself. And to prove that you guys really do exist."
"I don't know (name) for a human it seems that it might be impossible. But I believe there is a chance it could be done. Just unfortunately I don't have the right technology to do that right now."
"I know. I understand. I didn't expect this to be an immediate thing."
"Does this also have anything to do about your past?" ratchet inquired gently. He didn't want to stir up unpleasant emotions.
"Yeah. I don't want to forget them either. I don't want them and what happened be forgotten. I feel like society already forgot. I don't want them to die in our memories as well."
Ratchet felt his spark drop. He could feel the unpleasant feeling coiling around within his chassis.
You were looking out the window. Leaning on your arm as your eyes dully scanned your surroundings.
Ratchet rubbed his chest. Trying to ease the painful ache. Even though he was being projected as a holoform. He couldn't just let you sit there like that. So he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close. Having your head slightly rest on his chest as his arm encircled you protectively.
He wouldn't let his sparkling sit there in pain like that.
You snuggled in his coat and shirt. Feeling at ease as ratchet silently consoled you. Tracing small circles on your shoulder with his thumb.
You smiled and buried your face in his chest. Letting out a muffled "thanks ratchet"
"I couldn't possibly ignore you at a time like this."
You let out a contempt hum.