WORD COUNT: 2085
You wake up in the morning to the sound of water dripping steadily onto your head. You looked up and realized that the water was coming from the crack between round metal trapdoor and the pavement surrounding it. It was also a colour water shouldn't be. "Ew!" You cringed and quickly scooted out from under the water. You squinted at your dim surroundings and remembered you were in a large underground tunnel, maybe seven feet wide and the same height. You picked your three belongings off the ground and looked around for a ladder or something to help you climb up to street level. You saw a sign on your left that read "Baudelaire." And that was the only sign around, so you followed it, hoping you'd find something helpful. The tunnel lead up to a dead end, and you were about to turn around and walk back, but you noticed a small ladder tucked into the corner, leading up to a trapdoor in the ceiling. It was round, metal, and had a golden eye insignia etched into it. You climbed the ladder and pushed open the trapdoor. You climbed out and coughed at the stench of burning wood. You opened your eyes, which started to sting from the smoke and looked around. It was the remains of a mansion, one that had burned up fairly recently. You checked to make sure you still had your belongings, then left the mansion's remains and walked down the strip of cement you guessed was the driveway. there was a newspaper there, you guessed it was new, because it didn't seem to be burned up like the rest of the house. You picked it up. It was from this morning. You unfolded the pages and started to read.
THE DAILY PUNCTILIO
THREE DEAD AND ONE MISSING IN AUSTEN HOME FIRE
Yesterday afternoon, the Austen home burned to the ground in a raging fire. Neither the official or Volunteer Fire Department was there in time to stop the blaze. Ariadne and Cedric Austen, and their twelve-year-old son John perished in the fire. The forth Austen family member's whereabouts are unknown, so if anyone has seen Y/N Austen, please report to Mr Arthur Poe at Mulctuary Money management. Please contact Mr Poe. Mulcutary Money Management is a bank located in the banking part of the city near the Fountain of Victorious Finance. The Austen's fortune will be held in the bank until the only possibly surviving Austen, Y/N, comes of age, or, according to the Austen's will, if she did not survive, the money will go to the local public library and to schools for children to enhance their literacy. If Y/N is found, she will be put in the immediate care of Vice Principal Nero, the Vice Principal at the best boarding school around, Prufrock Prep.
Your eyes welled up with tears and your surroundings were blurred out. You scrubbed the tears away furiously and re-folded the newspaper. You placed it in your notebook and made up your mind to walk to Mulctuary Money Management, and maybe you could talk to Mr Poe about your situation.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
You trudged down the street towards the banking part of town. Since your mom hated not knowing where she was, she had taught you and your brother to memorize streets and landmarks, so you had memorized the entire city. Unless you left the city, which wasn't likely now, you'd never get lost.
Around an hour and a half later, you arrived at Mulctuary Money Management. It was a grey building made out of smooth concrete and extremely dull. You pulled on the door, but it didn't open. You pushed the door, hoping it was an inward-opening door. It didn't open. So you sighed and pulled a bobby pin out of your hair. You picked the lock and pulled on the door. It didn't open. You let out a frustrated growl and pushed the door inward. When it finally opened, You stomped down the hallway as quickly as you could so your frustration wouldn't take over and make you kick the door down.
You reached the end of the hallway and saw a semi-transparent door with gold lettering. "Orphan Affairs." Underneath, clearly written in pencil was "Mr Poe" in handwriting much worse than yours, and that was saying something.
You knocked on the door, no answer. You knocked again, and a hacking cough was heard from the other side of the door. Cough Cough Cough "Yes? Come in?" Cough Cough. You opened the door and were met with a long rectangular room, lined with small metal safes labelled clearly with names. At the far end of the room, was a desk piled with paperwork. The room ended with a glass door, behind which a large clock labelled with numerals stood. It was 12:46, past noon. You realized you hadn't eaten since yesterday, but that wasn't the problem now. "Hello?" A voice called out from behind the paperwork. "As you can see, I'm quite busy today." Cough Cough "This better be important," Cough cough "I'm literally drowning in paperwork." Cough cough cough cough.
"I think you mean figuratively. You are not actually drowning, so you are figuratively drowning." The man coughed again. "I am an adult, and you are a child. I said literally, so I mean literally. What is your inquiry? Inquiry means question." You sighed. This was going to be harder than you thought. "I Know what inquiry means. I am Y/N Austen. I survived the fire my parents perished in." Mr Poe shook his head. "No, no, no. The Daily Punctilio says you're missing, so you're missing. And I thought your name was (Something close to your name), not Y/N."
You wanted to turn around and stomp out of there, but you needed help. "I think, Mr Poe, that I would know my own name!" He stood up and coughed again, coming around the desk. "If you are Y/N Austen, you are now an orphan, so you have come to the right place. As you can see, my door-" cough cough cough "-says Orphan Affairs. I have already dealt with two sets of orphans, and they are currently enrolled in the wonderful school Prufrock Prep." cough cough cough
"I am sure you will feel very welcomed there, and maybe you can meet the other orphans, the Baudelaires, Sunny, Klaus and Violet. And the Quagmire twins, Isadora and Duncan."
Quagmire... You thought. That is the name your mom told you to find. I must meet these Quagmire twins.
(It mentally pains me to have to call them twins for this part of the story.)
Before you could say anything, Mr Poe continued. "I will call Vice Principal Nero right away and see if he has room for another orphan." You glared at him. "Seriously, don't call me 'Orphan', I have a name. Also, you can ask him if he has room for another Student because, again, I would prefer not to be known as 'Orphan'."
Mr Poe looked extremely flustered and coughed into his handkerchief. Then he picked up the phone. "Hello. Yes. Yes. Yes, 011. Yes. Yes. Yes. Jelly Beans. Thank you."
He smiled and coughed again. "You are enrolled in Prufrock Preparatory School. I will drive you there as soon as possible, and that is on my lunch break, in..." He looked at his watch, coughing. "Five minutes." He handed you a bundled up set of clothes. "This is your uniform. The bathroom's down the hall. When you're done, please wait outside. My car is the turquoise Volkswagen Beetle." You thanked him through clenched teeth. You wanted to be doing something useful, not going to preparatory school! Even if you could meet the Quagmires.
You turned around and walked down the hall to the bathroom. You went into one of the stalls and locked it behind you. The uniform was a white button-down shirt, a pleated grey skirt, a cardigan of the same colour, and a maroon blazer. It wasn't the best outfit, but it wasn't the worst either. At least it wasn't puke green or something. When you were finished changing you marched out of the bank. You found the car he had told you about and tried to open the door. It was locked, so you took out another bobby pin and picked the lock. You sat in the back seat and set the book, notebook, and spyglass on the seat next to you. The car was cramped, but since there was only one of you, you and your things fit easily. When Mr Poe came out of Mulctuary Money Management, he unlocked the car and sat in the front. He stuck the key in the ignition, then turned around to say something. cough cough "I thought the car was locked." Cough cough.
"Yes." You replied. "How did you get in, then?" He asked, coughing some more. "I picked the lock," You said simply. "Cars really need a better security system."
"Little girls shouldn't know how to pick locks." He stated. "Well, I'm not a little girl." You replied, smiling icily.
When he kept looking at you, not saying anything, you said: "Well, I'm assuming it's a long drive to Prufrock Prep, so we'd better get going if you want to get back before your lunch break ends." "Yes, I suppose you're right." With that, he turned around, started the car, and drove off.
It was a long drive, perhaps an hour or so. You looked out the window the whole time, looking at the increasingly desolate landscape and tuning out the constant chatter (And coughing) of Mr Poe as he explains about his spectacular (Only in his point of view, trust me), wife and children. Eventually, we arrived at Prufrock Prep. It was a desolate place, nothing was growing for miles around. The only way in was an unpaved dirt road. The road ended in the mouth of a large building that looked like a castle made out of very sharp edges. The whole thing was made of grey concrete. Surrounding the path on either side were tall, flat buildings with rounded tops. They were made out of grey concrete as well, and looked suspiciously like gravestones. There were four windows in each, dim yellow light shining from some. I guessed they were dorm rooms.
Mr Poe drove past them, and I started to sketch the desolate campus in my notebook. When we pulled up at the large iron gate, Mr Poe parked the car and got out. He opened the door for me, and I collected my three belongings and stepped out. We walked to the gate; it was closed and by the look of the huge iron padlock, it was locked too. "Umm..." Mr Poe said uncomfortably. You smirked, having a feeling you knew what he was going to ask. " You want to know if I can pick the lock?" You asked. "Um. Well... Actually, yes." You laughed and did as he asked.
You walked inside and made it halfway down the first hallway when you realized Mr Poe wasn't following you. You turned around, and he said "Well, I really must head back to the bank. head down that hallway to the left, then right, then left, and you'll arrive outside the door that says 'Vice-Principal.' A girl named Carmelita, lovely girl I might add, will give you a quick tour and bring you back in time for your meeting with Vice Principal Nero. Bye!" He turned and walked briskly out, coughing into his handkerchief. You stood still for a second until you heard his engine growl and grow fainter and fainter as it drove past those horrible gravestone dorm rooms. You then turned swiftly on your heel and walked down the hallway.
You came to a large bench in the middle of the hallway outside a door marked "Vice Principal Nero." In the middle of the hallway, outside the door, was a bench. It was made of dark wood and was actually two benches, back to back with a large wooden wall-thing in between. You sat down on the bench. It was cold and hard and seemed like it was made out of concrete, even though it was wood. You sat there quietly for around ten minutes, then started to get restless. You walked around the bench and sat on the other side. And you kept waiting.