It's horrifying
The stutter of your voice shaking when your tone is lowered.
The sigh of air releasing as you struggle to gasp in.
The streams trickling from your eyes to your face that drips to pools upon the ground.
The cold-quivers of your body when your heartbeat is just a tad to rapid.
Your conscience creeping around in fear of what tomorrow will bring.
Most of all the sense of separation because all of these feelings form as a puzzle that's almost seemingly impossible for yourself or anyone else to piece together
You only see grey
You only listen to doubt
Your caress yourself as chills leave a trail of goose bumps upon your flush skin.
You almost only smell foul odors within the air.
Your mouth dries as you taste uncertainty
Although difficult all these senses together you know you're alive.
And it's beautiful
The gradual crescendo of your voice after the beginning of a faint whisper.
The deep breath of relief when you find you're almost there.
The glare in your eyes as the tears leave them glossed over.
The strength of your body reinforcing as your pulse calms
And the images of wonder are traversing your mind as daylight is peering through the black clouds over you.
You may see the colors blended through the lux through your window.
You hear the wind whistling just breaking the steady silence.
Your hands gripping your body with confidence as you gaze upon your reflection embracing the insanity around you.
The whiff of alluring scents of roses in the air.
The taste of certainty when you have no idea what tomorrow will bring.
All these new sense form a puzzle that you are just finally seeing the picture come together.
And it comforts you.
Dreaming of a life where after a reckless night you awake to the suns rise as sighs of relief no longer rise over your tired eyes of grief.
A life where open visions are drawn to your depiction.
A life where even time expires but it means nothing because you made it worth all the whiles.
You now know, it all comes to you. And even when the ache arises once again the thought lingers in the back of your mind "One day I will live, even when it's hard to breath I'm thankful to be alive".