I've never told anyone this but do you know why I'm obsessive about lists and organization? It's because the last time I ever saw my mom she gave me a notebook and told me to plan for my dreams. It's stupid, but somehow, I feel closer to her when I plan. Ridiculous, right? Sometimes I imagine running into her and showing her my planner. The crazy part is I don't know whether I want to rub it in her face that I made it this far without her, or ask if she's proud of me. Do you think she would be proud of me? Wait, don't answer that. I don't care. I don't care. I DON'T CARE. -Georgie aka Alexx
PS. Do you think if you say something enough, it'll come true?
As Hugo hovered over her, Alex fought back the tears threatening to erupt. Part of her wanted to run to her room and hide under the covers. It was her default mode. But another part, a secret part she didn't even know existed, wanted to melt into his arms and let it all out.
His hand went under her chin, and he gently lifted her head. She could feel her chin wobble as she tried to suppress the emotion bubbling to the surface.
His eyes lost their hard glint, and he whispered in a soft, but cajoling tone, "Alex. What's wrong? Who upset you?"
A lump of tangled words caught in her throat. Would he pat her on the head and think her silly for being upset over a mere assistant job?
Hugo looked over his shoulder, his stance protective. "Did one of the guys say something to you? Or one of the girls?"
She shook her head and sniffed. "No, no. Nothing like that."
He reached for her hand, the one with the blood, and brought it between them. "It's clearly something."
As the adrenaline seeped out of her, the sting of her open wound began to grow. Hugo saw her grimace and blew on her knuckles. The rush of air felt so good, her lids fluttered shut, and she let out a small sound of relief.
Hugo chuckled. "Better?"
She nodded, still keeping her eyes closed. "The best."
"Hold still," he said. Alex tried not to squirm as he moved and prodded her knuckles. "Doesn't look deep. Only a surface wound."
"Doesn't feel like a surface wound," she grumbled. The cut felt like it went to the bone. Or more accurately, to the heart.
"Maybe put some force behind your punch next time if you want it deeper."
Her lids flew open to find him bent over her hand. This close she could see freckles dusting the top of his cheeks and nose. "How did you know I punched something?" she asked.
"I'm a guy with two brothers. I've seen my fair share of bloody knuckles." He glanced behind her. "The tree?" he guessed.
She nodded. "I was pissed." And hurt. And sad. And frustrated.
Alex didn't want to feel this way, but she didn't know how to turn it off. The faucet of life kept dumping these emotions on her like she was a towel meant to soak it all up, but she was just a girl—a girl trying to figure out what the hell she was doing.
Maybe if she hadn't cut ties with the girls, she wouldn't be this emotional. Seeing them at lunch or by the lockers all happy and giggling made her chest ache and realize she was alone. Adrift in a sea without a lifeline to tug her back. To be honest, she felt that way even when she hung out with them. They would laugh at a joke she didn't get, but Alex laughed anyway because she wanted to fit in.
That wasn't the case with Alexx though. They were always on the same frequency, which is why she had such a hard time understanding why Alexx got along with Sloane and Bri. Shouldn't she be feeling the same things?
Hugo stepped closer, shielding her hand, so nothing disturbed the wound. "The real question is who are you pissed at?" His head cocked to the side and gave her sad puppy eyes. "Not me, I hope."
A reluctant smile spread across her face. "I can't imagine anyone being mad when you look at them like that."
"You'd be surprised. I use it on my sister all the time, but she just slams the door in my face."
"Not surprised at all since it's me she calls as soon as she shuts the door. Apparently, you're horrible at asking for forgiveness."
Hugo gave a rueful look. "It's not so much the asking, that I got down pat, it's the begging. Georgie insists on getting the whole 'I'm sorry' treatment. It can last a good week before she decides to forgive you."
She laughed. "Oh, I've been there. I once made the mistake of pointing out a certain shirt did not do Shawn Mendes justice, and she didn't speak to me for days."
"I love her, but she's a handful." His smile died as he lifted her injured hand. "Does this have anything to do with my sister?"
"I..." Alex started but quickly closed her mouth. The punch was as much about Alexx as it wasn't, but she didn't know how to explain it without sounding like an emotional mess. Maybe she was going nuts because half the time her thoughts were so jumbled, she didn't know which way was up and which was down.
Hugo let out a low whistle. "Must be one complicated answer." He pulled a green bandana from his back pocket. "It's clean. I was gonna wear it while working on the set today, but I think you need it more." Hugo carefully placed it on her knuckles and would it around her hand, tying the ends in a knot. "Keep that on till we can track down an emergency kit. I'm sure the theater has one somewhere around here."
Alex nodded and looked down. The toes of their shoes were touching in a slight kiss that made her cheeks warm. She looked tiny compared to him, but it didn't feel intimidating. It felt intimate. Safe.
"I won't tell her if that's what you're worried about," Hugo added. "You're a vault for my secrets, only fair I'm a vault for yours."
Butterflies took flight in Alex's chest. "I don't know all your secrets."
"Do you want to?" he asked in a low tone.
Every nerve tingled with awareness as she stared into his clear, blue eyes which reminded her of the ocean on a bright summer day.
Powerful.
Electric.
Captivating.
This was a Hugo she'd never seen before. He could drown a person with the force of his presence, or buoy them with depending on his mood. Perhaps she didn't need a lifeline while drifting at sea. Not if she was with the sea in the first place.
"Freddy! Freddy!" Alexx ran into the courtyard, her eyes wide with panic. She skidded to a halt. "Hugo! What are you doing here?"
Hugo didn't scramble away from her as she expected. In fact, his movements were slow and deliberate, like he was challenging anyone who might question him. "Having a secret rendezvous."
She braced herself for a full-blown Alexx freak out, but her best friend didn't even blink. She was too focused on Alex.
"Where have you been?" Alexx asked. She grabbed Alex's shoulders and shook her. "You missed your audition!"
Damn. She totally forgot about the audition. "I, um, I can ask Randy to let me audition again."
Alexx's face twisted. "Weren't you listening at the meeting? There are no second chances. If you miss it, you miss it." She threw her hands up in the air and let out a frustrated yelp. "What are we going to do? Maybe we can bribe him. Or I know, I'll threaten to drop out of the play if he doesn't give you a chance to audition."
"Alexx, it's not that big of a deal. The part only had three lines." Besides, she didn't know if she wanted the part now that she had to be around Wendy and her assistant.
Alexx twirled around, desperation etched in every line. "Of course, it's a big freaking deal! Now that Wendy hired that college girl, you won't be—" Alexx froze. Guilt flashed in her eyes.
"You knew?" A strange buzzing sound rang in Alex's ears. "How long?" She'd better have found out five minutes ago.
Alexx held up her hands, trying to calm her down. "Randy told me at the last meeting, but if I had known beforehand, I would have told him to hire you!"
"Why didn't you tell me this the second you knew? Wendy blindsided me, and I stood there, taking it like an idiot." Hurt poured off of Alex. Why in the world would her best friend keep this a secret? Alexx had to know how painful this would be.
Alexx tugged on her earlobe. The words came out in a rushed panic. "Because I knew if you heard, you'd drop out. I wanted you to get the part in the play so you would have to stay."
"Alexx," Hugo murmured, disappointment dripping from his voice.
"I know! It was selfish, but I couldn't help it." Her voice turned pleading. "Who knows how that girl sews. What if she sucks? I need you with me here." Alexx got on her knees and clasped her hands in front. "I'm sorry. It was wrong of me. Please, don't go. You can be in the ensemble."
A ball of emotions swirled in Alex's stomach, and none of them was good. "I need to go home."
"No, no, no, no," Alexx pleaded, grabbing her hand. "Don't go. Don't be mad."
Alex just shook her head, and pulled away, afraid she might say something she'd regret.
"I'll take you," Hugo said. He put a hand on her back and guided her to the parking lot. Her best friend followed, a worried expression on her face, but Alex pretended she wasn't there, concentrating on the ground.
Over Alex's head, Hugo whispered, "Give her space." Alexx must have listened because she dropped out of view.
When she slid into Hugo's car, she let her head fall back against the seat and took a deep breath. If Alexx had come to her and told her about Libby and explained that she wanted her to stay in the play, she would have in an instant because that's what one does for a friend. But to trick her into staying? That felt like a line crossed.
Hugo got in and shut the door, cutting off the outside world. "Well," he said, resting his forearm on the steering wheel.
"Well," she parroted back. She felt empty inside like someone had ripped her innards out.
"An interesting day, eh?"
She gave a single bark of laughter, her voice harsh. "That's one word for it."
He looked at the time on the dashboard. "Do you really want to go home or...?"
"Or what?" she asked.
"Or we could do something. Get food. Go for a ride. Shred up my sister's collection of playbills."
"That's just cruel." Alexx's playbills were her prize possessions. She kept them in a locked box under her bed.
"So it's a no?" he teased.
"Big fat no." Alexx had Hamilton's playbill signed by Lin-Manuel Miranda. It was a damn national treasure.
Hugo gave her a nod of approval. "You're a good friend. Georgie knows it too. That's why she's acting like this." He opened his mouth several times but quickly shut it. Shifting in his seat, Hugo bit his lower lip. "Look, when our mom left the second time it hit Georgie hard. She tries not to show it, but she's terrified another person she cares about will walk out on her. She went about it the wrong way, but she did what she did out of fear. She doesn't want to lose you."
Alex swallowed. "It doesn't make it right or hurt less."
Hugo gave her a sad smile. "No, it doesn't."
The past two days had been an emotional roller coaster, and Alex was wrung out. She wanted to hole up in her room and lose herself in sewing. Maybe design a new dress or jacket—anything to forget Alexx and Playhouse.
Pain zipped through her hand as she flexed. "Ow."
"I forgot about that." Hugo started the engine. "Let's get your hand cleaned up and then we can get something to eat. What do you feel like? Burgers? Pasta? Chinese? Thai?"
She sat up in her seat, her nerves picking up again. Was this a casual food thing or something more? "I'm good with anything. Whatever you want."
Hugo eased out of the parking lot. "I don't know how you two are friends. You're so different."
She shrugged. "And yet we work." Most of the time. Something raw and hot bubbled up inside of Alex, but she pushed it down. She didn't want to think about Alexx's betrayal right now.
Alex's cell pinged with a text from her mom.
Mom: When will you be home? I have to go to the office and Dad forgot his keys. He gets off his shift in ten minutes.
Her heart sank. How could he forget his keys today of all days?
Alex: Why do you have to go to the office? It's Sunday.
Mom: Mr. Conway forgot to fill out a permit. I need to get it filled out and emailed before tomorrow morning or else we'll have to wait another month to break ground on the new project.
Alex: He's always forgetting stuff. He better give you a raise this year.
Alex: I'll be home in 5.
Mom: Thanks, sweetheart. Lasagna is the fridge.
"Everything good?" Hugo asked.
Her tone was apologetic as she explained, "It's my mom. I have to go home right now."
"Oh." The air seemed to go out of him. He made a U-turn with the car and headed in the direction of her apartment. "What about your hand?"
She fiddled with the ends of the bandana he'd gently tied around her. He'd been so careful, every movement deliberate so he didn't accidentally hurt her. "I'm sure there's stuff at home. I'll wash your bandana and give it back as soon as I can."
"Keep it." He paused. "I take that back. I want you to return it."
Her forehead creased. Was the bandana special to him? Maybe he got it from somewhere exotic although she would definitely question his taste if all he bought as a souvenir was a square piece of cloth. She rubbed it between her fingers. And not a very good one at that. The fabric was some type of cheap cotton blend. "Okay, I'll give it to you tomorrow at school."
"No." He readjusted his grip on the steering wheel as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. "Give it to me Friday night at dinner."
Her body stilled. Was he asking what she thinks he was asking? "Just you and me?" she clarified.
"Just you and me," he answered. He snuck a quick peek at her. "A rain check for today."
A flush of adrenaline buzzed through her body. She desperately wanted to say yes, but this wouldn't affect just her. "I need to talk to Georgie first." She might be furious at her best friend, but Alex owed it to her to ask. Dating a brother was a big deal. If things imploded, well, there was no coming back from that.
"Of course, but for the record, I think she'd be down with it," Hugo said.
"Really?" she asked.
A smile curved his mouth. "Really." He parked in front of her building. "Have a good night, Alex. And take care of that hand."
"I will," she replied, touching his bandana. Hugo was smart, hot as hell, and so sweet it made her chest ache. It was a no brainer, so then why as she walked away, did a book-loving, dark-haired boy pop into her thoughts?