Deciding to ditch school for the afternoon, Jonas and I, once again, cause trouble around the Southside, since there isn't much else to do around here. But our fun and games are cut short when we bump into Lip, on his way home.
"Lip! Hey," I call out to him, jogging over.
"Oh, hey." He replies, turning around.
"Fuck, Lip, Jesus." My eyes widen upon seeing he's bloodied face, grabbing his head and assessing his wounds, "who'd you piss off?"
"Not me, Ian." He sighs, "apparently Mandy Milkovich told her brothers he messed with her."
"Well that just didn't happen." I scoff.
"Yeah, well I still took a beating for him." Lip huffs.
"I'm gonna kill him." I grumble.
"Ian?" Lip asks in surprise, knowing I could never stay annoyed at Ian for longer than like five minutes.
"No. Mickey." I snap, storming away from him to find the Milkovich brothers, "I'll see you at home."
I ignore Jonas muttering something about 'dealing with it' to my brother and continue making my way to the Milkovich house, or he brothers themselves.
"Emma? Are you are this is a good idea?" Jonas walks quickly alongside me, "This is Mickey Milkovich after all."
"And?" I furrow my eyebrows, "he beat up my brother."
"Yes, but what exactly do you plan on doing?" He asks.
"Repay the favour." I say like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and it kind of is.
"What? You're going to beat up Mickey Milkovich?"
"Yeah, got a problem with that?" I raise an eyebrow at him.
He puts his hands up and shrugs in response.
"Good, now we're stopping at your house on the way." I tell him.
"Okay, but why?" He asks.
"It's on the way and I need a bat." I respond, walking quickly.
"Right, got it." He nods, finally matching my fast pace.
We get to his house and I immediately go and find the bat, briefly greeting a couple of his siblings who are downstairs, then we both leave and make our way to the Milkovich household.
I bang on the door aggressively until it is pulled open.
"Fuck. What?" Mickey yells, "Emma?"
"What's this I hear about you beating up my brother?" I storm into the house and holding up the bat.
"Woah, woah," he backs up, lifting his hands in defence.
"Don't give me the shitty excuse of Ian trying one on Mandy." I scoff, "you know Ian wouldn't do that."
"Hey, it's what she said, why would she lie?" He quickly argues, before his back hits the wall.
"Why do you always have to beat the shit out of someone?" I fire back, now pushing the bat against his chin threateningly, "maybe get the full story first for once."
"Sure, whatever, I'm sorry, alright?" He huffs, "now can you please put the bat down?".
I look him in the eye for second before kneeing him in the dick, making him groan.
"What the fuck, Emma?" He bends over in pain.
I turn around and leave the house, brushing my shoulder past Jonas' and go down onto the street.
I hand Jonas the bat and brush my hands off on my jeans, "here's your bat back, I need to go home and see if we've sorted out the gas bill." I begin walking away from him.
"Okay... bye then." He responds with a slight chuckle.
"See ya." I shout over my shoulder.
When I get home, I go in through the back and see Frank on one of the stools, Fiona and Lip sat at the table and Veronica cleaning up Lip's bloody face.
"Hey," I say as I close the door behind me, "how's the face?"
"Painful, I'd imagine." V replies, "and broken."
"Nice," I nod, giving Lip a fist bump, chuckling slightly as I notice the tissue stuffed up his nose to stop the bleeding.
"The nose is the most commonly broken bone in boys between the ages of thirteen and twenty-five." Veronica says as she presses on it.
"That's fascinating, but who's the old dude?" Lip asks, gesturing over to the person sat on a chair on the other side of the room.
"It's not a dude it's your Aunt Ginger." Frank responds, while I grab a beer from the fridge.
"What, the one who owns the house?" I ask.
"That's right." Frank nods, "Ginger, say hello to your niece and nephew." He shouts to them.
"Dad, stop." Fiona sighs, rolling her eyes st him.
"Why's he trying to pass off Mr Perry as Aunt Ginger?" I suddenly realise who 'Aunt Ginger' actually is.
"Who?" Frank furrows his eyebrows.
"Oh shit, you're right." Lip nods, "Mr Perry, our old bus driver."
"Yeah, now he sleeps behind the dumpster over at the A&P." I explain how Frank would have found him.
"Social security wants to talk to Ginger and he was too lazy to get the real one." Fiona tells us.
"That's kind of retardedly brilliant." Lip shrugs with a nod.
"Thank you." Frank proudly nods, taking a sip of his beer.
"Or brilliantly retarded." I quip back.
"Thank you." Frank repeats.
"Now we have to drive all night to go get her." Fiona huffs in annoyance, glaring at our father, before turning to Veronica, "think Kev will let us borrow his car?"
"No," V shakes her immediately.
"I'll call and beg." Fiona sighs, getting up and going to grab the phone from the kitchen counter.
Deb and Carl then walk into the house carrying tons of hairdryers.
"We got these from Imelda over at the Holiday Inn." Debs tells us, putting them down on the table at the edge of the counter, Carl following suit. "It'll be a good way to stay warm. Why's Mr Perry here?"
"Good job you guys, and don't ask." I smile tiredly at her.
"Hey Kev, it's me," Fiona says on the phone, "uh, can I borrow your car just for the night? I just need to-"
She's interrupted by Frank mumbling a unenthusiastic protest and pulling the phone away from her, hanging it up and putting it down.
"You won't need the car." He mumbles in defeat.
"How are we gonna get Ginger?" I look at him in confusion.
"She's dead." He deadpans.
"What?" Fiona and I exclaim in unison.
"Who's dead?" Debbie peeks up in interest.
"Aunt Ginger." Lip responds, sounding quite lost.
"No!" She wails.
"Debs, you never met her." Lip reminds our little sister.
"And now I never will!" She explains in despair as if this is truly the worst thing to ever happen to her. As opposed the Carl who is silently fiddling with the hairdryer cables completely oblivious to the whole situation.
"Don't give me a hard time. I've been very upset about this." Frank attempts to defend himself, "I'm in mourning."
"When did she die?" Fiona asks.
Frank hesitates, shrugging as though he's trying to figure out when. "Twelve years ago."
We all look at him in absolute shock and exasperation.
"Well, Debs, seems like you never had the chance to meet her." I try to joke.
"I was trying to protect you all from the trauma." He gives us a fake excuse.
"Shit." Fiona mutters under her breath.
"How do you think I feel?" Frank asks rhetorically, "that woman was my heart and soul. She practically raised me."
"Dad. You've been cashing her checks." I point out, "that's a felony. We're living in her house, was there even a will?"
"You don't need a will if she's not technically dead." Frank says as if it makes any sense.
"Yes," Fiona slowly replies, "She is technically dead, Dad. Dead is dead. Just because you haven't told anybody that she's dead doesn't make her not dead." She says walking around the counter towards him, "fuck!"
"What are we gonna do now?" I vocalise the question that we're all thinking.
"Well..." Veronica smirks, before proposing a plan she's formulated. We steal an old lady from the old people's home where she works and have them masquerade as Ginger for the social security lady.
Once we've all agreed it's the best plan we're gonna come up with, Fiona, Debbie, Frank and Veronica head off to go pick out our stand-in.
I'm sitting on the couch doing some AP Biology work when they walk through the door with a sweet old lady.
She looks around the room, mouth agape, "oh my goodness."
"What's wrong?" Veronica says calmly, placing her handbag down on the coffee table.
"Nothing." She replies, allowing us to all let out a breath of relief, "everything is just the way I remember it."
"We kept the house exactly the same Aunt Ginger." Fiona says, smiling at the woman and rubbing her shoulder.
"Oh, I can see that dear." She smiles, "oh, look, there's the bookcase my brother Norman built." She points to the bookcase that her brother Norman most definitely didn't build.
"Do you want me to show you to your room, Aunt Ginger?" Debbie asks, walking up the first few step and looking back to her.
"That would be wonderful." She smiles, making her way up the stairs after Debs, "and after I wash up, why don't I make us all some nice supper?"
"Okay!" Fiona grins at Veronica and me.
"Good pick." I nod in approval, "a granny cook with dementia."
"Thank Debbie." Fiona smirks.
We're interrupted by Mr Perry, who is still here by the way, groaning as he wakes up, "Uh, where am I?"
"Dad?" Fiona and I turn to him expectantly.
"I'm on it. Let's go, Perry." He gets him up and leads him out the door, "thanks." And the door is slammed shut.
After putting my homework down on the coffee table, I go into the kitchen and grab two beers from the fridge, handing one to Fiona and the other to Frank, before picking up my half empty one.
They open their beers after thanking me, and we sigh in relief.
"To Ginger." I grin, exhaling in amusement.
"To Ginger." They chorus as we clink our bottles together and take a swig.
"Good thinking on Veronica's part." Fiona acknowledges sitting down on the couch.
"Yeah, hopefully it works." I respond sitting down beside her.
"Wouldn't be the first time we've pulled something like this off." Frank points out, sitting down in the armchair.
"Good point." I sigh, picking up my homework and putting it back on my lap while Fiona switches on the TV to some random channel.
The three of us spend the next hour or so of the evening almost as if we're a normal family, and it's surprisingly nice. Meanwhile Debs is having the time of her life with fake Ginger. Making dinner, sewing aprons and baking; all sorts.
She gets us all together to take pretend family photos, so we can display them to reinforce the bullshit story we're feeding the Social Security lady.
Admittedly, it's a bit of an issue having both Lip and me with face injuries but hopefully they'll look over that and preferably not call the DCFS on us.
Afterwards, Lip, Ian and I head up to the bedroom. I sit down cross-legged on Carl's bed, leaning against the wall with Lip next to me, lighting a cigarette.
We all hear a familiar voice outside and rush over to the window. Mickey is asking Steve, who was walking away from the house, having just spoken to Fiona at the door, whether Ian was home, and he lied for him.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I scoff under my breath, but my brothers don't hear.
"You know when he's coming back?" Mickey asks.
"No man, not a clue." Steve answers before climbing into his car.
"All right, fuckhead." Mickey responds, turning to the house and looking up to the window. We quickly move away, praying he didn't see us. "Hey Lip. How's your lip? Yeah, I saw you up there. Tell your shithead brother we're waiting for him." He shouts from the street.
Ian leans against Lip's bunk and sighs.
"Sorry your face got busted up." Ian says, arms crossed.
Lip looks at him raising an eyebrow, "it's okay." He responds, voice muffled by the fact he has the fag in his mouth as he lights it.
"I didn't do anything to Mandy." He tells us in frustration.
"I know that, Ian, but her brothers think you did." Lip reassures him.
Ian sighs, "I mean, she tried to rape me, and I pushed her off, and now she's mad."
"Well you're probably the first guy in her life that hasn't tried to jump her." Lip points out, taking a hit of his cigarette.
"You're not wrong." I nod in agreement.
"She started screaming and crying." Ian sighs, grabbing a can of beer that had been left of the windowsill and taking a sip before handing it to me.
"Maybe, you should throw it in her, you know?" Lip suggests, making a lovely action with his hands.
"Yeah. Yeah, and maybe, uh you should throw it in Kash, right?" Ian scoffs.
"Why would Lip throw it in Kash?" I furrow my eyebrows, handing Lip the beer after I've taken a sip.
Lip and Ian visibly stiffen, and look at each other with wide eyes.
"What's Kash got to do with it?" I press, having not received an answer. "Hello?"
"Um, uh..." Lip gives Ian a look.
"Kash and I are fucking." He blurts out.
I stay silent for a moment.
"Em, please say something." My twin begs, nervously.
I wait a second, trying to think what to say, before settling on; "I'm sorry, what?"
Ian fidgets uncomfortably, not making eye contact with me.
"Kash?" I raise my voice ever so slightly, "What the fuck?" I furrow my eyebrows in genuine confusion.
The room becomes silent once again, before I break it.
"Fucking pedophile. That's it, imma kill that nonce." I get up and begin heading to the door.
Ian grabs my arm as I go past him, stopping me from going any further, "Emma, stop. It's not like that."
"Let go of me." I demand.
"No, I'm not letting you kill Kash." He huffs in annoyance.
"What you huffing and puffing about?" I ask in exasperation, "the guy is fucked up."
"Emma." Lip speaks up.
I avert my attention to my older brother and give him a questioning glance, "you knew, then?"
He doesn't respond, only nods.
"And you're okay with it?" I ask, eyes wide.
"Of course I'm not fucking okay with it." He scoffs, "but it happened, it's happening, and this is what Ian wants."
"You've got to be kidding me." I look at him in disbelief. Of all people, Lip is the last person I'd expect to let this continue.
"Look, you may not like it but this is how it is." Ian deadpans, "either accept that or don't, but don't go beating up Kash. He has nothing to be ashamed of."
I look between Lip and Ian for a second before huffing and pulling my arm out of my twins grip. I exit the room, the frustration and anger still radiating off of me.
I decide to sleep on the couch for the night.