'Cause I've had my heart
Broken before
And I promised
I would never let me hurt anymore
But I tore down my walls
And opened my doors
And made room for one
So baby I'm yours
-I'm Yours
-Alessia Cara
•••••
I sighed as I made my way through my apartment door, grocery bags covering every inch of arms. Yep, you guessed right, Ryder and I had run out of food and I had been nice enough to make a quick stop to the store with Violet as my partner.
But everyone knows what happens to Violet when she gets to the junk food section of any store...
"Oh come on Riley! It's chocolate covered macadamia nuts. How can you resist?" Violet asked, throwing at least five packets of nuts into our trolley.
"Remind me why I asked you to help me stock up on food?" I asked, taking out three of the packets and placing them back on the shelf.
Violet sighed and continued walking down the aisle of the chocolate section in the store, examining the wide varieties of candy stocked up on each shelf.
"You asked me to come because you needed a ride," Violet finally said, walking back to a particular chocolate that caught her attention.
"Exactly, you were supposed to just be my ride and not get out of the car," I said, slyly placing some of the chocolates she had thrown into the trolley back onto their correct shelves.
"Yeah, well now I'm here," Violet said, making her way back to me.
"I can see that," I mumbled.
I glanced at the trolley again, my eyes running over the numerous amounts of shiny packets which contained hundreds of calories and a whole lot of sugar.
If I could remember correctly, since Violet and I had spent most of our time at the store in the junk food section, buried under the pile of junk Violet had chosen was actual food.
I hoped.
"So, how's it feel to date Ryder for a week?" Violet causally asked, picking up a slab of chocolate from the shelf she was standing in front of.
I shrugged, "It kind of feels like nothing changed. Except for the good morning and good night kisses, nothing else has happened."
Violet turned to me with an open mouth, clearly not expecting the answer I had given.
"What do you mean nothing has changed? Isn't he sappy? Or romantic? Don't you two call each other pet names or something? Have you guys even slept together?" Violet asked, staring inquisitively at me.
"No, no, definitely not and gross? I mean everything's exactly as it was before. We used to flirt mildly between each other, that hasn't stopped. Ryder never really liked physical contact but he does hold me and rest his arm on my hip and stuff like that," I answered, ticking the boxes of my mental check list of groceries.
"I didn't mean sleep together as in sex, I meant literally sleep together in the same bed," Violet rolled her eyes at my reluctance to talk about my relationship.
It wasn't that I didn't want to talk about Ryder and I to Violet, or that I didn't want her to know about the two of us. It was just the fact that there was nothing to speak about. We acted the same around each other, maybe even happier. We continued our tiny arguments which usually turned into a make out session, but everything else was the same.
"No, we have a mutual understanding. If he needs me I'm in the next room, if I need him he's right next door."
Violet shook her head in a disbelieving way.
"I can't believe it," she whispered.
"I don't mind it really. We both trust each other and feel comfortable around each other, there's nothing really more. Yes, he makes me feel a whole lot of emotions at the same time and I know for a fact I have the same impact on him. I like things this way," I chewed on my lip thoughtfully as I told Violet what I honestly thought about Ryder's and my relationship.
Violet was quiet for a few seconds, both of us pacing the aisles for different items.
"I'm happy for the two of you, I really am. I mean Cameron and I were really awkward around each other when we first started dating, I'm just happy you and Ryder aren't like that," Violet said, smiling softly at me.
"Thanks Violet, it means a lot."
"If you need any relationship advice, I'm always here. I've got you Riles," Violet said, quickly making her way to where I was standing.
Violet wrapped her arms around me, giving me a tight squeeze. I returned it, happy that I had someone like Violet to count on.
"Thanks Vi," I said, pulling away from her embrace to pay for the groceries.
"So...I don't think these bags of chips can fit in the trolley, we might need to ditch the food at the bottom," Violet said, following me to the till.
I rolled my eyes even though I knew Violet couldn't see me.
"You better put those away, or else I'll make you pay for everything you chose in this trolley."
I didn't hear Violet's reply and for a second I thought she never heard me, until I turned around and grinned as Violet dragged her feet away from me and back to where she found the bags of chips.
I laughed as Violet mad her way back to where I was standing, a scowl now on her face.
"Those were on special," she mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.
"And what about the rest of this stuff?" I asked, pointing at the rest of the junk Violet chose.
"When you run out of snacks and can't enjoy a movie marathon, you'll remember this day," Violet said.
"Violet, there's enough snacks to last a whole year of movie marathons!" I exclaimed.
"Yeah, enough if you're feeding ants," Violet mumbled.
I chuckled as I thought about my day with Violet. I was just glad I had taken out some of the junk Violet had stuffed into the trolley on the sly.
"Ryder, I'm home!" I called, dumping the bags onto the counter.
Ryder can pack those away, I've done enough for one day.
I heard some shuffling coming from Ryder's room, before the door opened and out he stepped. I smiled at him but he didn't grin back. I raised my eyebrows as Ryder kept a straight face and walked straight past me to the grocery bags.
"Okay then hello to you too," I mumbled as I watched Ryder start to unpack the groceries without me having to tell him.
See, mutual understanding.
"So, what do you want for dinner? I'm up for some stir fry, you?" I asked.
Ryder mumbled something under his breath which I didn't quite catch. I stared at him in confusion, wondering what I had done to deserve his sudden ignorance.
As far as I was concerned, he was fine this morning. He left after breakfast with Cameron and Noah to go to Kyle's house. Before he left, he left a kiss on my cheek and when he got back he messaged me since I was at the store with Violet. Nothing seemed odd or off about his message either.
I wonder what's gotten into him.
"Uhm, Ryder? Some help would be much appreciated," I said sarcastically, referring to what to make for dinner.
Ryder ignored me, no surprise there.
"Alright, stir fry it is. Mind helping me open this?" I twisted the lid of the bottle of olive oil with all my strength, trying to open it.
Ryder stopped what he was doing and grabbed the bottle from me, giving the lid one twist and handed it back to me.
"Thanks," I mumbled, watching as Ryder went back to packing away the groceries.
We continued our separate tasks in silence, Ryder packing and me cooking. The tension between the two of us hung thick and heavy, no one tried to break it.
"That's it, what the hell is going on?" I asked, angrily smacking my spatula on the counter top.
Ryder shrugged and continued to ignore me.
I huffed and mumbled a string of profanities.
"In case you didn't notice, you're the only other person in the room besides myself so I wouldn't be talking to anyone but you Ryder," I said, continuing to hastily chop up the peppers and onions.
Nothing.
I fished for a frying pan in the cupboards above me and let out a sigh of relief when I finally found one. I placed it on the stove and let it heat for a few minutes before pouring a cap full of olive oil into it.
Still Ryder said nothing, but he had finished packing and was now staring at me. I bit my lip trying to prevent myself from lashing out at him as he leaned against the sink, unfazed by my irritation.
"Ryder serious-"
"Who's Skylar Clarke?" Ryder finally asked, breaking the silence.
I stilled my stirring, my blood instantly turning cold. I tried to stop my legs from shaking as I tried to come up with a response to his question, all the while wondering how he could have possibly found the name.
Or who could have told him.
"I'm not sure, is she someone from school?" I asked curiously, hoping I sounded more believable than I felt.
Ryder didn't answer me.
Sweat started to form on the back of my neck as I waited for a response from him. Instead, Ryder stood upright and disappeared from the kitchen. I let out the breath I was holding once he was out of sight and rested my spatula against the frying pan.
I allowed myself to take a couple of deep breaths of fresh air, willing myself to calm down.
Breathe, just breathe.
I stiffened as I heard footsteps making their way towards the kitchen. I quickly composed myself and neutralised my expression before picking up my spatula and resumed my stirring, adding the chicken pieces which were cut beforehand and seasoned already.
I was aware Ryder had stepped into the kitchen and was now standing close behind me, so close I could feel the heat radiating from his body onto mine.
Or maybe it was the onions messing with all my senses instead of just my eyes.
I jumped as Ryder wrapped his arms around my waist, gently pulling my body closer to his. I went rigid as his cold fingers shifted my hair away from my shoulder and placed open mouth kisses along the side of my neck.
Despite me knowing how wrong this situation was because of Ryder's hot and cold behaviour, my body seemed to crave his touch and moulded itself against him unwillingly.
Stupid traitorous hormones!
"Riley," he breathed, tightening his hold on me.
I hummed in response, quickly turning the stove off before the flame could burn the food.
"Do you trust me?" he asked quietly.
It was like a switch flipped in me once I heard Ryder's voice drop, his tone taking up a slightly dangerous hint.
I twisted in his hold so that I was now facing him, instead of the playful expression I was hoping for despite the dark tone of Ryder's voice, I was met with cold, steely grey eyes.
"What kind of a question is that? Of course I trust you Ryder," I chuckled trying to lighten the mood, it didn't work.
"Then I'll ask you one more time. Who is Skylar Clarke?" Ryder asked, no trace of humour in his tone.
I stuttered out a quiet reply but all it got was an eyebrow raise from Ryder.
"I-I didn't want you to find out like this. I swear I was going to tell you-"
"When?" Ryder demanded, his deadly grip on my hips making it feel like he would cut off my circulation at any time.
"I don't know, but I was going to tell you," I mumbled lamely.
Ryder leaned in closer to me, brushing his lips against mine and trailed them past my cheek and onto the shell of my ear.
"Bull...shit," he whispered, and yanked himself away from me.
Coldness seeped through my clothes from his loss of contact, and I stood there staring at him with wide eyes and a gaping mouth.
Ryder stared back, a storm raging behind his grey eyes. I watched as he stuffed his hand in his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper folded neatly into a square. He held it out for me to take, but I just continued to stare at it.
I looked up to meet Ryder's bemused stare. I took the paper from his hands, slowly opening it as if some animal was waiting to pounce.
It was a clipping from a newspaper, a very familiar newspaper. I knew every word on it off by heart since I had the exact same one buried under one of Brody's sweaters in my room.
My only remembrance of him.
The headline screamed at me, the words swimming in front of my vision.
Tragic Accident Claims Life of Loving Father
Septmeber 22nd marks the day of a tragic accident. Mason Clarke was driving home after a day at the office, when his car supposedly swerved off the side of the road directly into a tree.
Investigators concluded that the incident occurred due to the loss of control of the car. After interrogating a few of Clarke's colleagues, all have said similar things.
Here is a quote taken directly from Clarke's closest friend and colleague, "Mason was my friend. He was responsible, reliable and couldn't possibly have ever lost control of any car in any circumstance. Many envied Mason's hard work ethic and perseverance. Anyone who knew Mason on a personal level would know that this was no accident."
Witnesses who prefer to remain anonymous stated they clearly saw another car, slowly drive past Clarke's car just before it went out of control.
The witnesses identified the car as a sky blue Chevrolet. Could the Chevrolet be the cause of Clarke's death, or could it have just been a careless accident?
Beneath the article, a picture of a happy family rested. Everyone was smiling at the camera, not a single imperfection could be seen. That was my family. To others we were far from perfect, but to me we were the most perfect things in life.
The caption read,
Mason Clarke (left) leaves behind wife Emilia Clarke (second from left), son Brody Clarke (right), baby boy Danté Clarke (middle), daughters Ashleigh Clarke (middle) and Skylar Clarke (second from right). May he rest in peace.
I stared at Skylar's face. Her muddy brown eyes and captivating smile brought tears to my own muddy brown eyes. The camera caught her midway laugh, while she was slightly turned to Brody who mirrored her grin except his was cheekier.
He had wavy brown hair that stopped just below his ears, when he smiled you could see one dimple clearly visible on his right cheek.
Ashleigh had waist length black hair, and electric blue eyes. She was a head or two shorter than Skylar and was staring happily at the baby boy in her arms. She was an exact mirror image of her mother, just younger.
The newspaper forgot to mention she was dead too. Or maybe their 'sources' weren't informed either. It was sad that they went through so much trouble to interview colleagues and put their condolences in the newspaper, they even found a photo of my family. But no one even interviewed us to see what we had to say about the 'tragic accident', or if we even wanted it recorded in a newspaper.
The camera caught Mason smiling softly at his wife, his brown locks brushing against his forehead. His hand was clasped in hers, her fingers blocking the tattoo of her name on the back of his hand which he had gotten on their one year anniversary.
It was his way of saying she was his. His Emilia, forever. Never separated even when her parents never truly believed they were in love until they were engaged.
I was startled out of my thoughts when I suddenly realized someone was shaking my shoulders. I looked up into Ryder's worried grey eyes, seeing his lips move but not quite hearing his words. It was as if I had cotton stuck in my ears, I could only hear faint noises but I couldn't make out the words.
I raised my hand to my cheeks, feeling the wetness trickling down them. I didn't even remember starting to cry.
I shook my head clear of the fog that had settled in it and pulled away from Ryder's grasp, staring at him with accusing eyes.
"Where did you find this?" I asked, glaring at him.
I couldn't believe Ryder would go through my things, despite the fact that we were in a relationship. Granted, I did hide my real name from him but he didn't have to snoop through my things!
Ryder stared at me with an open mouth, clearly surprised that I was mad at him instead of it being the other way around.
"I found it outside. When I got home someone knocked on the door, and when I went to check who it was this was there. Along with this," Ryder reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny square.
I took it from him and stared at the photo. It was a photo of me I recognized from my old school's yearbook. Someone had highlighted the name Skylar Clarke, which was printed directly under me in red marker.
I stared between the photo and the newspaper clipping, trying to make sense of both. Whoever had left this meant it for Ryder. Whoever had left this knew Ryder didn't know about my real name.
They were hoping it would cause a fight between the two of us and would hopefully, I don't know? Break us apart?
"Are you sure you didn't see who left it?" I asked Ryder once again.
"Yes, the person was long gone by the time I answered the door Riley. Or is it Skylar? Which one do you prefer?" Ryder asked icily.
My head snapped up at the sound of my old name coming out of Ryder's mouth. His eyes held the hurt he felt on the inside, and it was enough to soften my hard expression.
"Ryder, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my real name. Yes, my name is Skylar Clarke. I had to change it to Riley Carter when Dylan and I moved here in hopes of staying out of Brandon's sight. It was clearly useless," I mumbled the last part so that Ryder could hardly hear it.
Ryder sighed and scratched the back of his neck.
"I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to make you cry, I shouldn't have been so harsh about it," Ryder said, pulling me into a tight hug.
I instantly wrapped my arms around his waist holding him closer to my body, praying maybe if I held on tighter our two bodies would merge into one.
"No, you had every right to be mad at me. I shouldn't have lied about my name. It just felt like an insignificant detail to me, so I thought it wasn't necessary to tell you," I said into Ryder's chest.
Ryder blew out a short breath, "It's not insignificant. It's your name Riley, it's who you are-"
"Was," I cut Ryder's sentence off, "it's who I was. I'm not Skylar Clarke anymore. She got her family killed by a psychopath, she was naïve and couldn't tell good from bad. I'm Riley Carter. I'm strong and independent. I'm going to protect my friend and hopefully my boyfriend if he could just trust me."
Ryder chuckled at my sarcastic tone, "Alright Carter. Just promise me one thing? No more secrets."
I grinned and tilted my head up so that I was looking directly at Ryder.
"I promise. I trust you Ryder, I won't keep anything from you ever again."
Ryder captured my mouth in a scorching kiss, his lips moving fervently against mine. I balled up the material of his shirt into my fist, moaning as his hands cupped my face and pulled me impossibly closer.
Ryder released a growl when I bit down on his lower lip, trying to fight for dominance. His hands dropped to my waist and he lifted me up. My legs automatically wrapped around his waist, my hands coming to rest behind his neck. Ryder slowly started walking, his lips never leaving mine.
I sucked on his bottom lip and moaned as Ryder laid me down on the bed, resting his weight on top of me. He pulled back and leaned his forehead against mine, breathing heavily.
I opened my eyes to find him already staring at me.
"I hope you know you've got me wrapped around your finger Carter. I'm all yours," he whispered.
I grinned cheekily up at him, "I'm glad to hear that because I have scheduled a date for the two of us tomorrow at Café Capeesh-"
"Did I mention how lucky I am to be dating the best girl in the world?" Ryder smirked down at me.
"-with Dylan," I grinned as Ryder let out a groan.
"I have to go on a date with Dylan tomorrow? As in scary Dylan who doesn't like me and has won the street fighting championships three times in a row?" Ryder whined, a piece of his brown hair flopping into his eyes.
I laughed at his crestfallen expression.
"You won't be alone. You'll have me," I said pecking his lips, a warm fuzzy feeling spreading throughout my chest.
Ryder sighed and rolled off of me. I turned and rested my hand behind my head so that I was facing him.
"I'm guessing I can't argue my way out of this?" Ryder asked, staring up at the ceiling.
"Nope," I said, popping the 'p'.
"I'm going to regret this aren't I?" Ryder's face scrunched up so that it looked like he was in pain.
I rolled my eyes at his dramatics, "Literally all Dylan wants to do is get to know you better."
"I'm going to regret this," Ryder mumbled.
"You're eighteen. Stop acting like a grumpy old man," I scolded.
"Fuck you," Ryder mumbled.
"What was that?"
"I said that I am training at the ring tomorrow for the championships, so what time is the reservation?" Ryder asked sweetly.
"Four PM," I said shifting so that my head was resting on Ryder's chest, his hand came around my waist so that he was rubbing soothing circles on my back.
We remained in that position in a comfortable silence, none of us saying anything. I listened to Ryder's steady heartbeat and felt the slow rise and fall of his chest. I thought he'd fallen asleep.
"Ryder?"
"Hm."
"Can I come with you to the ring?" I asked, tracing patterns on Ryder's chest.
"Sure. I'll need someone to talk me into going to sign my death certificate," Ryder mumbled sleepily.
"Oh would you stop it! Dylan isn't even that scary, and you're just talking to him," I turned so that my back was to Ryder.
"I'm going to regret this," Ryder said for the third time, "it's a disaster in the making."
I felt Ryder shift beside me and wrap an arm around my waist, he pressed his front against my back. We were spooning, Violet would be proud. I let out a little sigh when I intertwined our hands and Ryder pressed a kiss to my neck.
"Good night Ryder," I yawned, only now remembering the stir fry I had left on the counter.
Thank goodness I turned the stove off.
"Good night Riley, this is probably the last time you'll hear me say these words. After my conversation with Dylan, I might not make it out of Capeesh alive."
Drama queen.
•••••
Don't you just love the single life? : /
Thank you for reading my chapter : )
-Grayx