We made our way back to the pack house silently. After I told Ciaran what he wanted to hear I pulled on my shirt and walked away. I felt him follow with the others. And as I move closer to the pack house, I felt more wolves surrounding us. They tried to mask their presence but I could still sense them.
I stopped a few meters away from the house and waited for Ciaran to lead the way. He walked beside me and everyone bowed their heads as we entered. No one looked me in the eyes or even dared to look up as we strode past. I guess entering the pack house with the alpha draws this kind of reaction.
He led me to the familiar stairs that leads to the upper floors. We walked to the end of the corridor and turned towards the stairs that would lead to the attic area.
Every room we passed through is as I remembered it. I was the only pack member living in the attic so I know this part of the house fairly well. The other omegas were granted smaller rooms on the lower floor near the kitchens but I was only allowed a room here away from everyone's view. My old room was small, almost cell-like, that was too hot to sleep in during the summer months and freezing cold during winter. But it was mine and I liked the privacy it provided not the isolation it represented. Those days I was just glad to have a roof over my head.
I was surprised when Ciaran opened the double doors that weren't there before. It led to a renovated hallway. The used to be attic now looked like a set of rooms connected together to make an apartment. There were three rooms aside from a living area connected to a modern kitchenette.
Ciaran opened the door to one of the rooms and ushered me inside. It was a spacious room. I can tell from the view out the huge floor to ceiling windows that this was where my old room used to be. It was decorated in a mix of dark wood and cream-colored paint. There was a king sized bed on the center of the room, a desk on one side, one of the walls was lined with shelves filled with books, a walk in closet and a private bathroom. This room doesn't resemble my old one, far from it. This is a room fit for an alpha!
"I didn't know what kind of decoration or furniture you like so I had it made like mine," Ciaran said from the doorway. "If there's anything you don't like or you want to replace just tell me and I'd get it done right away."
I looked at him confused. "What am I doing here?"
"This is your room. Mine is through that door." He pointed to what I guess is the adjoining door connecting our rooms. "The room at the end of the hall is my office. The kitchenette has almost everything on it so you wouldn't have to worry about going downstairs if you don't want to. The living room has a full set of entertainment system. But if you want to use any of the facilities downstairs you're free to do so."
I'm glad he took into account that I might not want to mingle with the same people who shunned me most of my life but I'm still confused as to why he's giving me a room from what looks like the alpha's private apartment.
"You can go wherever you want around the pack lands. The forest is safe for now but please don't go there alone, always have one or two wolves with you. Everyone would always be free to accompany you. But if you want to go somewhere within the city tell me so I can personally accompany you."
"Stop!" I cried cutting him off. I pinched the bridge of my nose and close my eyes because this situation is starting to give me a headache. "What am I doing here Ciaran? You're talking as if I'm going to live here."
He shrugged nonchalantly, "Because you are."
I looked at him horrified at the thought before clenching my fists to keep myself from throttling him.
"The hell I will!"
He seemed unfazed by my outburst. He walked further into the room and closed the door with a definite click behind him.
"I know you're uncomfortable coming back here,"
I laughed at that. I had to. It wasn't funny, nothing about this situation is. But it was either laugh or cry in rage.
"I meant to tell you after you had some time to rest and relax. The truth is, I can't allow you to live alone anymore Ruari. It's too dangerous."
Rothe growled at the word 'dangerous'. It's not our favorite word.
"What do you mean?"
"Someone's been attacking werewolves. There'd been night raids, casualties. They haven't attacked the compound but there'd been attacks on the neighboring packs. News about certain pack members going missing is spreading. I'm confident they won't be able to infiltrate our territory but..." His breath hitched as he turned his face away. I can tell he's debating whether he should tell me the rest of the story or not.
"But..." I urged him to go on. I want to know what I'm walking into. So far I still don't see the need for me to stay here with the pack. If anything I should leave before I get caught in the crossfire.
He looked anxiously at me before continuing, "They've been sending threats." I raised one inquiring brow and he sighed, "They're threatening you." That gave me pause.
It felt like a blow in the gut. What could those people possibly want with someone like me? I was the lowest ranked wolf of the pack before I went rogue. I have no special abilities and before I came back no one knew I could shift. Why would they bother threatening a nobody like me? Unless they see me as someone important, like a bait or a means to make someone cave.
"I don't know how they found out you're my mate or how they know you're not with me but they've been looking for you." Ciaran finished confirming my suspicion. "I can't let you live alone anymore. I'm sorry."
"I am capable of defending myself!" I scoffed. I don't need anyone to protect me, especially not him. I've been protecting myself my whole life. If there's a threat Rothe and I would deal with it on our own. We don't need Ciaran to meddle. Who gives him the right to decide what's best for me?
"I know you are. And you've been doing a fine job of it." He said, moving to stand in front of me.
I know he's just trying to pacify me and I don't like it. I took a cautious step back but Ciaran reached out to cup my cheek, softly running his thumb over my parted lips.
"I should let you leave. Allow you to go and hide on that place you've been to these past five years. But I can't risk it. I don't want to. I want you here, with me, where I can keep my eyes on you."
"You mean to keep me a prisoner!" I snarled slapping his hand away. If he thinks he could keep me here against my will then he'd be disappointed.
"No!" He protested grabbing me by the shoulder and pulling me closer to him. I turned my face away but he held it gently in between his hands giving me no choice but to look at him. I was too shocked and weak against him to do otherwise.
"I want you safe. I admit, I want you here for selfish reasons but not the ones you think." He let one of his hands fall from my face to hold my hand and twine our fingers. He touched our foreheads together and placed his free hand to cradle the back of my neck.
Since when have Ciaran been gentle with me? Since when did he have that look in his eyes like I'm the most important person to him? Like he's afraid to let me go?
"I can't think straight when I'm reminded that you're out there alone, fending for yourself. I'm always afraid because I don't know where you are, if you're safe or not." He whispered hoarsely. "We're at war Ruari and one mistake could spell death to a lot of people. They're threatening to take you. What am I supposed to do? I'm keeping you here because I'm selfish and arrogant enough to think I could protect you."
This has to be a joke! There is no way this is the same Ciaran who hated me for being his mate, the one who wished for my death. There's has to be some trick to this situation that I'm not seeing.
"Please Ruari," Ciaran's lips were now a breath away from mine. "Stay..."
I don't know when he moved this close but it doesn't matter. What happened next was beyond my control anyway. His lips closed on mine and the walls I built around my heart came tumbling down just like that.
The kiss was gentle, coaxing and patient. Ciaran didn't demand entry to my mouth until I opened to him on my own. He tangled our tongues slowly, softly. His touch was so delicate, so careful I wanted to cry from the sincerity laced on it. He didn't invade but he explored, every crevice and curve. He tasted like home. His arms snaked around my waist and pulled me closer, molding our bodies together. And my hands went to his hair, my fingers tangling on his thick black hair.
It felt right. Being held and kissed by Ciaran is a dream come true. He made it seem like the separation of five years were nothing, nonexistent. He didn't steal my breath like I was afraid he would instead he sustained it. He enveloped me with his warmth, made me feel desired and cherished, loved even.
Loved?
My mind snapped out of its entranced state at the sudden thought of love. Ciaran doesn't love me. He never will. How could I forget what he did to me? How could I forget the look of disgust in his eyes and the anger in his voice when he rejected me?
"What are you plotting?" I growled pushing him away taking a few steps back for good measure.
For now he wants me here, safe. I don't know his reasons but I'm going to find out. I'll play along if that's what he wants. I'll stay but I will not let my guard down. I shouldn't forget he's just like them. He wants me dead. He said so himself. And no matter how seductive and irresistible he seems I should not be fooled. He burned me once and I cannot go through that again. Never!
"You don't trust me, I understand. But you have to believe me Ruari. I want you unharmed and secured." He looked hurt, desperate. But even I know those emotions could be faked if you're good enough to try. "I won't ask for another chance when I know I don't deserve it. But I promise I'm not going to hurt you. I made that mistake once and I will not do so again."
I looked at him and tried to see the lie, any hint of deception but there was none. He's telling the truth? No, he can't be!
My body started to shake. I'm afraid. Of what, I don't know. But my heart is beating hard in my chest and I've never been this terrified in my whole life.
"What are you trying to say?" I choked out.
What he did next was unexpected. He smiled. He flashed me a genuine caring smile that sent sweet tingles down my spine making my head spin and my knees weak. It's not the mocking, calculating smile he used to have. This one is a smile reserved only for me.
"I'm giving you a fair warning Ruari. I know it won't be easy but I'm not going to change my mind." He said, his heated gaze meeting my questioning one.
Why does he have to look so damn seductive all the fucking time? Why can't he look like the devil? But then, Lucifer is a beautiful angel before he became the devil. Maybe it's not a good idea to think of Ciaran as the devil. A beautiful demon intent on doing evil and naughty things... NO! Oh god what the hell am I thinking? This is not the time for daydreams. This whole situation is not good for my heart!
"You can try to delay the inevitable but from your reaction to the kiss we just shared I doubt you'd succeed." He traced the line of my neck with his fingers, lingering on the part where he's supposed to mark me, before stepping back. "I'm determined to win you back. You're mine Ruari. I will not give up no matter how long or how hard you try to push me away."
Holy crap! He's not serious, is he?