Blue eyes opened.
They ached, caked with the evidence of his exhaustion and he groaned, reaching up a hand to rub the pain away
Danny recalled the amount of coffee he had consumed the last three days, and he was surprised he hadn't had a heart attack. He rubbed his face, trying to massage away the soreness around his eyes, but the dark circles that decorated his face with sleep-deprivation wouldn't be that easy to get rid of.
Danny's hand brushed up against some paper, and when his eyes focused a little more, he was able to lift his head off his arm and glance down at the mess he had left his desk in. His computer was left on as if he hadn't even had the energy to turn it off last night, let alone make it back to bed either apparently. Papers were scattered around the expanse of his desk, scribbled notes and messy plot circles triggering the memories of the night before right before he went into a deep coma-like sleep for what appeared to be 14 and a half hours.
He didn't know what possessed him to pull 2 all-nighters and spend the last three days writing this darn story, but he was lucky he had only missed 1 day of school. Today. It was already 2 pm and there was no chance that he was going to make it, or even bother to try when it was already 7th period.
Danny groaned painfully, his head was killing him now that he slept all the caffeine out of his system. He was never going to touch another Mtn. Dew or another triple expresso ever again.
Looking up at his computer, he noticed that he hadn't even bothered to close the window he had been working on. He knew he had his work cut out for him in editing if the amount of little red squiggly lines covering the word document was anything to go by. He must have had one hell of an inspiration to torture himself just to get this damn story done as quickly as possible. He had never heard of an author who had written an entire 43 chapter book in three days, but it was a decent one... or at least he thought so.
It had to be if he was feeling this dead inside over it.
He didn't know where he had gotten so much motivation so suddenly, but the amount of passion and angst that he felt while writing it was more than he could personally handle.
Danny was proud to have finished the book, but the depression that seemed to want to tackle him to the ground and pummel him until he a bruised and sobbing mess came out of nowhere, and the raven didn't know how to deal with it.
He felt broken. Defeated.
Why he would feel like that when he just accomplished something that others could never even dream of accomplishing was beyond him. The feeling, however, though uncalled for and confusing, was very real.
The teenager sighed, wishing he hadn't been such an idiot and slept more. He didn't understand why that book needed to be done in three days but he hoped that whatever kind of motivation he had would give him a break for a while. He didn't need to pull another all-nighter for some kind of sequel any time soon.
Getting up, the raven got a whiff of himself and he grimaced. He hadn't even been bothered to take a shower. He almost smelt as bad as when he came home that day...
Danny's eyes widened, remembering the day that he returned home from wherever he had been kidnapped. He had returned emaciated and smellier than a homeless drug/alcoholic, but all that he remembered before that was darkness, and a numbing cold that had haunted his nightmares even months after escaping. He didn't remember who had taken him, or what they had done to him, but the scars that littered his body remained his only clue.
Shaking the thoughts away, Danny grabbed some clothes from his drawer and a towel. He needed a shower bad, and the thought of standing under some hot water sounded like nothing short of chicken soup for the soul.
The spray of water wetting his hair and his face was comforting, and the feel of it dripping down the expanse of his scarred body felt warmer than the hugs his father used to give him before he went to jail.
Vomit rose in his throat.
Holy shit, his Dad murdered Vlad.
The memory of hands on his body and the itchiness in his throat from trying to scream, seconds before blood had covered the locker room like an attempted refurbishing gone wrong made bile rise and threaten to make itself seen. He hadn't known that his father was capable of murder until right then. Until Vlad was trying to take him in the worst way possible, after taking his mother away, after tormenting Jack and destroying the family that he knew...
Danny couldn't describe it as anything less than a mental break down, triggered by the eyes that had shown no mercy, and the voice that had promised a pain that had previously remained unknown to him. Things had gone dark the moment that he had felt Vlad... line himself up.
The raven swallowed down the anxiety threatening to overcome him, swiping the wet hair out of his face with the palm of his hands.
Though he somehow knew deep down in his mind and soul that he hadn't been raped that day, the memories still crippled him even now.
Danny hadn't asked his father what happened that day, not that he had really had the opportunity to, what with his strange and unexplained need to have that book done. He had barely finished last night around 11:53 pm, but he needed to do a lot of spell check and put grammar.ly to good use before he would be willing to let anyone know about it.
The pain was like thick poison that started to blend and cover his body, manifesting from his chest in the form of cold biting ice and expanding outward until he could barely feel his limbs. He felt numb, weak, and in excruciating pain all at once. It felt like he was choking on emotion that he didn't know how to function with, and it was clenching at his throat like a couple of merciless hands.
Misery slipped off his body like water, wetting the path of his tears and dripping off him like little pieces of his soul that would be forgotten forever. It left nothing behind but a film that tainted the comfort that slowly bled away, stealing away all that was dear, as if it was never there in the first place.
Danny slowly sank to the floor of the porcelain tub, unable to hold himself up anymore. He didn't know why he was sad, or why he felt like his heart had been ripped out. His eyes were wide as he felt with full force the brunt of horrifyingly painful emotion that he didn't know what to do with, or how to deal with. He didn't know where it came from or why it was so damn powerful, but he felt sick to his stomach and it was for reasons other than the caffeine that had destroyed his system for the last few days.
He had never felt so beaten before in his life. Not even the overwhelming emotion he felt after coming back from being dead to the world for almost 7 months compared to how broken he felt right then.
He covered his mouth to try and stifle the sobs that started to break through his lips, but it was a losing battle that he didn't even feel like he had the energy to fight.
The raven was in there for an hour, until the water had run cold and shivers that didn't come from his crying wrecked his form. The empty house that used to be filled with so much warmth and love now felt empty. Just a regular house filled with painful memories that hurt to remember. Ranging from the invasion of privacy to his mother cheating on his father in their bed. Though those memories were the ones to anger him beyond human capability, it was the good memories of his entire family living and laughing in the rooms of this house that hurt to think about.
Danny swallowed thickly as he sat back down at his computer, not knowing what to do with himself but knowing he had to release these unhealthy emotions somehow. He clicked open garage band and opened up his nearly completed song, Someone Like You.
He clicked away at the music notes, typing in the lyrics as he did so, but the song was already almost completed he just needed... someone to sing it.
The exhausted and emotionally drained boy stared at the record button, unsure why it frightened him so much.
He clicked it.
The sound of a piano started to fill the room and Danny built up the bravery to do what needed to be done. Inspired by the torment his heart was going through, even though he had no idea the cause.
It felt... liberating. To sing one of the songs that he made was like the freedom that he didn't know that he needed.
"I heard that you settled down, that you found a girl, and you're married now."
More emotions built up like a terrorist attack in his brain, crippling his heart until he was almost positive that the organ was going to dissolve from the inside out. He hadn't meant to sing the song the way that he was doing now, he had hoped that it would be romantic in a sad way, but the way that it was coming out now... Oh well, there was plenty of passion and it sounded more sad than romantic but it was the product he was interested in.
"Don't forget me, I beg. I remember you said 'sometimes it lasts in love, and sometimes it hurts instead.'"
A tear fell from his eyes, but the raven ignored it, wondering how it was possible that he still had tears to shed.
"Nevermind I'll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best, for you two. Don't forget me, I beg! I remember you said, 'sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead,' Ohhhh!"
It didn't release all the pain that he felt, but it felt good to finish that song and edit it to fit the tempo of the actual music. It was the most euphoric feeling, and he didn't know where he got the bravery from, but damn if he wasn't going to make a career out of this.
He smiled for the first time in days.
...
3 weeks later.
...
The bell rang, signaling that the last day of school was finally over. Danny didn't bother dressing out, he would just be going straight home anyway. Sam and Tucker had finally gotten their own cars after getting jobs at Taco Bell and both of them had to work in 30 minutes, so he was on his own today. Which was fine, he had to finish the next song before the deadline. The board of music wouldn't be happy if he was late.
They had liked his first song and agreed to sign a contract with him. He still was the sole owner of it and all the future songs that he makes, and they agreed to put it on Spotify, Youtube, iTunes or anywhere else that a person could buy or listen to music as long as Danny agreed to give them 10% of all revenue.
Seemed like a steal to him, so he signed it and he should be receiving his first paycheck any day now. He would be paid every two weeks, and since he signed the contract 12 days ago he was checking his bank account every morning. They had told him that even after taxes the amount deposited in his wallet would be "sexy" as they so boldly put it.
He had finished editing the book he wrote a couple of days ago, and he was hoping that his credibility with the board of music will somehow help him get it published. He didn't think that it would, but he would never know unless he tried. Or, that's what Tucker told him at least after he had proofread the story for him just to make sure that he hadn't missed any mistakes, Tucker told him that the book was good enough to be published- as long as he remembered to change the names of the characters.
Danny agreed to do that, figuring it was best to keep it private since the story was oddly... personal. It was weird that he had chosen to make the story so much like his own life just... slightly different.
Anyway, he had changed the names of the characters to Max for Danny, and Rick for his father and a bunch of other bullshit Disney knockoff aliases for the minor characters that he couldn't really remember off the top of his head.
He sighed, supposing it wouldn't hurt to take it to some kind of publishing agency and see what they say about it.
"Danny."
The raven froze where he stood about to unlock his car door, turning his head over Gregore who had decided to park his car in the same parking lot. His bleached white hair seemed familiar and his green eyes hit a foreign cord in his chest as if he was seeing some kind of ghost that he had no idea that he knew on a personal level.
Danny felt so lonely, but to an abnormal degree for someone who had never even been in a relationship. He couldn't imagine why it felt like he had just gotten dumped, but that's what he felt like.
Maybe he was just tired of being single and needed to give dating a try, and hopefully, find someone to fill the empty void that had rooted itself in his heart recently completely out of nowhere.
"What is it, Gregore." He asked, three seconds away from getting in the car and leaving. He may have been lonely, but that didn't mean he would be easy.
"Sorry if I scared you, but the truth is I parked here hoping to get a chance to ask you out to dinner outside of the classroom." His face was kind, and Danny was almost proud of Gregore for approaching him without his sunglasses on. Bravo, the dude was learning.
Danny hesitated to open his car door, "This is the third time you ask me out, are you going to just keep asking until I give in?" He did value a man who could be persistent, but he still wasn't positive if Gregore actually liked him as a person, or if he was just trying to get in his pants. He didn't need the latter right now.
Gregore gave him a small half-smile, it looked easy-going and made it harder for the raven to sneer at him for the borderline harassment, but the taller teen put his hands up in surrender.
"Allow me one date, and if you still have zero interest in me, then I will leave you alone for good." He promised, and the raven rolled his eyes, realizing that it was not likely that this guy would leave him alone until he agreed to go on a date with him.
He sighed, but Gregore was attractive, and he had just told himself he would give dating a try. He didn't see anyone else jumping at a chance to buy him food.
It was just one date. He was kinda hungry too, and it wasn't like he had to sleep with him if he didn't want to. If anything, he could at least get a free meal out of this.
"Fine, one date. I say where and when, and if I don't like you by the end of the night, it's over and I don't want you to talk to me again." Danny looked at the older guy in the eyes very seriously, but Gregore only seemed pleased.
"No problem, I promise I will leave you alone if you don't adore me by the end of the night. Cross my heart." He was full-on smiling now, seeming genuinely happy, and Danny hated how it was already warming the ice in his chest.
"Kim Wah BBQ on Casper dr. 7 o'clock tonight. Don't be late, I won't wait for you." He opened his car door and got in without another word, pulling out of the parking lot with a wave of farewell from Gregore.
The raven sighed again as he drove home. It was 4:30 but now that school was finally out, all he had to worry about was the deadlines for his music, he could do those until it was time to leave. Maybe search for publishers that will be willing to take a look at his novel before he needed to get ready.
He texted Sam and Tucker when he got home that he had a date tonight, and they seemed shocked that he agreed to Gregore.
Danny: Yeah, I know, it's weird. I'm just in it for the free food. He said he'd leave me alone if I didn't like him even a little when the dates over though.
Sam: He better hold up to that promise. He's not picking you up in that stupid G-wagon though is he?
Danny: No, letting him pick me up seems sketchy, I wanna be able to leave if I want to.
Tucker: Smart. Just be careful, okay? We don't like or trust him.
Danny: I'll be careful. I'll tell you how it went when I get back home.
Sam: How are you doing there? You know, by yourself?
The raven's mood dropped as he opened his mailbox and pulled out the mail. He missed his Dad, but the man wasn't going to get out of jail for another 23 years. He would be an old man by then, almost 70. He wouldn't be able to watch him grow old, and it was a depressing fact that he wished that he could change somehow, but his father didn't even want to see him when he visited.
He opened up a letter addressed to him and hoped that his Dad wasn't mad at him for what happened with Vlad. He really should have told his father sooner about how uncomfortable the man-made him, maybe things wouldn't have escalated to murder.
Hello, Daniel Fenton, due to the nature of the contract you signed with the board of music, out of the $54,765 you made, $4,381.2 has stayed with the board, and after .09% tax rate the rest has been mailed to your address. We look forward to sending your next monthly check and working with you and your future songs.
Sincerely, the Board of music.
Attached was a check for over $45,000, and Danny all but fainted. He swallowed down the shock in his throat and stared at the number written behind the dollar sign on the signed check in his hands. He couldn't believe he was holding that much money in his hands, and this was already after taxes so this was all his to do with what he wanted. This one check could send him to school for 4 to 5 years.
Holy shit, his songs were gonna make him pretty well off if he kept it up...
Excitement and thousands of thoughts for the future started to throw themselves to the front of his mind, and he was suddenly so happy that he had no idea what to do for a good couple minutes. Then he decided something that should have been decided long ago.
This house was not a home anymore. Too much had happened, too much privacy had been exposed and too much drama painted the walls like the ugliest mural in the world, reminding Danny every minute the things that happened in that house.
He clicked respond to the group chat and typed the short response that would be the beginning of quite a few very long conversations, and the rest of his life.
Danny: I think I'll sell the house and get my own apartment.
...
8 months later
...
Danny sighed, stressed out as he drove home from the storage garage. He had finally finished transferring all his father's equipment, a little earlier today than expected, and the house was finally on the market. He was told his novel was going to be published and he would be receiving his first check via direct deposit by the 8th of October.
By then, Danny had over 100 grand in his wallet and he had no plans in quitting making music. He already had two albums and a third one was on its way after he finished these next two songs. He had moved into an apartment 5 months ago after he turned 18 and had found the perfect place that was far enough away from his old house and school but close to where he was going for college.
Gregore had moved in a month ago, saying that his parents had kicked him out of the house and he had nowhere to go, and they had been dating for a while so Danny figured it would be okay. Things have been... nice? He didn't know if that was the word he wanted to use. It was nice to not be alone, and Gregore was really sweet, funny, and they went out a lot but... Danny couldn't say that his boyfriend made the crippling loneliness go away.
He sighed and parked the car in his private garage, Gregore was home so at least he didn't have to be alone until 11 pm; which was usually when the older boy came home from work. He walked into the house and called out that he was home before turning on the light.
He froze as he looked at the ground where hundreds of crimson rose petals littered the ground in the form of a trail going across the living room all the way to the bedroom. Nerves started escalating as Danny gathered the situation. The lights had been dimmed, the air smelt like flowers, the house was cleaner than normal, and he could hear soft music playing delicately in the background. The whole thing really would have been quite romantic if it weren't for the growing anxiety currently morphing its way through his consciousness in the face of this kind of exposure.
Danny put his keys in the little dish in the hallway and started following the trail of roses. He should get out now, it was time to go, it was time to leave this apartment and go straight to Sam and Tucker.
So why was he still walking forward?
He took a deep breath and pushed open the bedroom door, not daring to close it behind him.
They hadn't slept together yet. At all. Not even orally. Danny hadn't let Gregore touch him farther than just making out in the whole 8 months that they had been together, but the raven knew that Gregore was starting to get a little impatient.
Maybe he could do it... this time.
Gregore was fully clothed, much to Danny's utter relief, but there was a small table decorated in white and red roses with a tall bottle of champagne resting on top next to two glasses. The 19-year-old smirked at the younger teen from his place sitting upward on the bed with his feet planted on the floor and his legs spread apart to make room for the table between them.
Danny slipped off his shoes nervously, hardly moving away from the door as he wordlessly tried to gather his wits. He didn't know if he could do this.
"Hi, Danny. How was your day?" Gregore asked as he picked up one of the glasses and started pouring the champagne. How he got a hold of it in the first place was unknown to him as they were both underages. Danny didn't want to think of the implications.
"Stressful, as always." He wished his father would actually come out to see him when he is there during visiting hours, he wanted to tell him how he was doing, how successful he was. He wanted his dad to be proud of him. He had even started putting away a good amount of money into savings, along with putting all his old lab equipment together in storage so that when he got out of jail, he would have enough money and all his stuff so that it would be there for him to do with what he wanted.
Along with a full-time job of making and releasing both merchandise and albums, he had previously had to deal with starting college and being a full-time student while also taking care of his father's house and everything in it that was of value. It had been a hard 8 months, but Danny was relieved that at least a part of it had been concluded and all he had to do now was wait for a buyer for the house and keep up with the rent for his father's storage. The realtor told him that he would receive a call and an email from her when she got him a potential buyer, and he didn't have to worry about anything until then unless there was damage to the house -which his insurance would cover so there was no worry there.
They had already finished repairing the damage to the kitchen after the explosion, and the house was empty and as beautiful as it was when his parents bought it together, so hopefully, it would be off Danny's shoulders soon.
Gregore sighed for him, "I'm sorry about that, Baby. Why don't you come over here, and I'll give you a nice massage so you can relax."
Danny didn't say anything, just slowly walked forward after a few hesitations. Gregore did give great massages... one wouldn't hurt.
The older teen was very gentle as he helped Danny out of his shirt and had him lay down on his stomach. Gregore had seen him shirtless before, and the first time that he did it was an accident and he had been very concerned to hear the unknown origin of all the scars that littered his torso. They may have been small, but they bothered Danny on a personal level so he had been using scar cream on them for a good amount of time now. They had started to fade and they looked much better than they did a year ago, making Danny a little less self-conscious about them.
Gregore's hands were warm and covered in marsh mellow scented lotion as he slid his hands across Danny's exposed back, pressing the tips of his fingers downward and rubbing small circles in the knots that he had.
"Poor baby, you're so tense." His voice was low and seductive, but the only thing that was making Danny relax right then, despite Gregore's many obvious efforts, was the fact that his boyfriend did not have a boner... yet. He knew from past experience of dodging the older guy's advances that he could get a boner just from holding him for a while. Danny did feel bad about holding out on him for so long. Gregore was nice and he seemed to be understanding about his past with Vlad and everything. He had been feeling... needy for a while now... Maybe he could... do it... this time.
Danny groaned in pleasure when Gregore started rubbing at the especially painful knot right in between his shoulder blades that had been driving him crazy for a couple of weeks now.
By the time Gregore had finished rubbing out all the tense knots in his back, Danny was so relaxed that he could almost fall asleep. Until his boyfriend flipped him over onto his back, that is.
He wasn't rough, by any means, it was just eye-opening and world stopping when he realized what position he had been put in. He was shirtless, on a bed, in a very intimate environment with his very horny boyfriend staring down at him like he was a sexy piece of raspberry chocolate cake that he just wanted to eat up.
The kiss was gentle when it was laid on him, but the taste of cherry and lemon didn't calm the nerves raging through him. Soft hands pet through his silky black hair, and Danny really, really tried to relax. Honestly, he did. He put in a good honest effort to try and be into this like Gregore seemed to be- if the boner pressing into his thigh was anything to go by.
He just wasn't. It felt... wrong.
I love you, Precious.
Danny broke the kiss almost as soon as it started, he knew where this was going and he just couldn't let it escalate. "Greg, I-," he sighed dejectedly.
Gregore stopped, staring down at Danny for a moment before he rolled his eyes and groaned, getting off to sit up facing away from him with his hands on either side of his head.
The raven felt bad, he wished his sex drive was more present and active, but it hadn't been. He used to have one, in fact, he was positive that he used to have an extremely active sex drive.
Well, with his right hand at least.
It stopped a while ago though around the same time he started suffering from depression. His best guess was that he blamed himself for his father's incarceration and it affected his life more than he had anticipated it would.
Sam and Tucker often joked that he had rubbed out one too many and now he was dry and the most anti-horny teen in the world. They tried to make it funnier than it was, and he was mature enough to take it as a joke and laugh when they tried to make light of the situation, but there was nothing funny about an almost rape victim whose father murdered the assaulter and is now serving over 20 years in prison, meanwhile the victim has to deal with the backlash of the event.
Danny nervously glanced over at Gregore as he reached for his discarded shirt to put it back on. He cleared his throat after a moment of silence, "I'm sorry-."
"I've been patient, Danny," the older said before Danny could even finish, making the raven feel like a piece of shit. "We've been dating for over 8 months now, how long are you going to make me wait?"
Anger replaced sympathy, and Danny's eye's narrowed. He would make him wait as long as he fucking needed Gregore to wait. If Sam and Tuck were there they would beat the white-haired teen right then.
"As long as it takes for me to be ready for such a huge step," Danny defended himself, and a little voice in his head was shouting at him that he shouldn't need to defend himself right now. "I'm not ready, why would you try to pressure me?"
"I know you're a virgin, and you don't understand how amazing sex is, but I am not a virgin. I have had sex before and I am experienced enough to tell you that it feels fantastic. I can make you feel fantastic." Danny got off the bed and glared down at Gregore, "I can't wait any longer, Danny, I am going to explode if you don't let me touch you."
No. He would not allow himself to be guilt-tripped or persuaded into his first time. He is not comfortable, he is not ready, and Gregore is not worth it.
"Then get out," Danny said, he had too much self-respect to allow someone into his home just for them to try and push him into something he doesn't want.
The 19-year-old's eyebrows rose, "What?"
Danny was very angry at this point, "You heard me, if all I am is a piece of ass to you, then pack your things and go get booty from someone else, because you are never going to get it from me."
He was more angry at himself for wasting so much time on this pathetic jerk. For the past 8 months, Sam and Tucker consistently told him that Gregore was bad, Gregore was no good for him, Gregore was going to hurt him. He had ignored them in favor of trying to get rid of the depressing loneliness that his heart was forcibly being subjected to, but now he knew just how foolish he had been to think that the older teen was compassionate enough to make things better.
All Gregore wanted from Danny was his pants off, and the raven should have listened to Sam and Tucker sooner.
His now ex-boyfriend did not leave quietly; he yelled and antagonized Danny about being a worthless prude who would be lonely forever, but Danny was proud that he didn't cry until after Gregore stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
Tears fell from Danny's blue eyes for hours after that, but he knew they weren't over Gregore. He wouldn't waste a tear on him, ever.
No.
He was just sad.
He was sad and feeling broken as if he had fallen into the pieces of a scrambled puzzle, and even after trying to put himself back together, he found that he was missing the very center-pieces. His core. He felt empty, and his experience with Gregore made him scared that nobody would ever be able to take that away.
...
Awwww Nooooooooooooooo! Porque???????