I stood on Roman's front porch with little hope. Staring at the door I awaited for him to run out her and beg me to stay. But I knew that wasn't going to happen. Picking through my bag I found a pair of black cloth shorts, sliding them on I took off down the road.
I thought maybe I could call AJ but I knew she wouldn't come to my rescue. Every other diva hated me. I couldnt call Faith either. How was I supposed to explain to her that Dean is in love with me? She'll be heart broken. I can't do that to her.
Pulling my phone out of the bag I scrolled through my contacts. Shaking my head I knew I was stranded out here. Until, I got to his contact. As the phone dialed the numer I prayed he would answer. He was my last hope.
"Hello?" He asked sleepily.
"Paul? Please don't telll me you've left Tampa yet.." I cried in the phone.
I heard Paul shuffle around, probably getting out of bed.
"I haven't, my plane leaves first thing this morning. Why kiddo?" He asked confused.
"Because I'm stranded out here and I had nobody else to call. please Paul? I'm begging I don't-"
"Where are you? I had Brock drop me off at my hotel but I'll call him right ow and we'll come get you." he cut me off.
"I'm about a mile from the Dollar General on Oak street."
"Okay, give us a few mintues. We'll be right there, I promise."
I hung up my phone and set on the curb. At least I actually had someone I knew would help me no matter what. Scrolling through twitter I saw all the cute tweets about Roman and I. It made me sick. Locking my phone I put my head in my hands and began sobbing.
When I felt my phone buzzing I looked up. I strike of hope flew over me when I saw Roman's name on the caller ID.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Ashley.." JoJo's little voice trailed off.
The tears were now shooting down my face. Talking to Roman would have been heart breking but talking to JoJo was even more heart breaking.
"JoJo? What are you doing awake? It's late, where's daddy?" I asked wiping my eyes.
"Ashley, when are you coming home?"
I was quiet for a moment. How was I supposed to tell her that I wasn't coming back? How was she to understand anything that's going on?
"JoJo, Wheres daddy?" I asked again.
"He's in your guys' room laying down. I'm scared Ashley, he keeps screaming into his pillow. Please come home and make daddy feel better." She begged.
"I-I'm sorry hon but I can't come back.."
"But you promised me!!!" She yelled.
"I know baby, and I love you so much, daddy too. But sometimes that's just not enough JoJo. Sometimes people do things that they feel horrible for and they can't take those things back."
"But just like Hannah Montana said, everybody makes mistakes." She whispered.
"She's right. But this mistake is too big. Too big to just say sorry for. I need you to do I gaint favor for me Joelle."
"What is it?"
"I need you," my voice broke, "to take care of daddy. Because Ashley can't anymore."
I could hear her little sobs making me cry harder. This was the last thing I ever wanted to do to JoJo. I wanted to be a little happy family like Roman said but of course I found a way to ruin that for everybody.
"I will." she stated quietly.
"Okay, good. He needs you JoJo. Just remember, I love you darling."
"He may need me Ashley, but we need you."
With that I heard the dial tone. Placing the phone on the ground below my feet I began screaming. I was such a horrible person. I made that little girl a promise and I couldn't even keepp it. Maybe Roman was doing the right thing, kicking me out. I'd hate for JoJo to grow up and be like me. Lets just say I' not a very good role model.
Hearing a car approach me I looked up. It was Brock. He opened the car door and walked over to me. Without any questions he picked me up and place me in the front seat. When I was in the seat I looked around the car not seeing Paul.
"I was closer to you then we thought. It would have been a waste of gas to go pick Paul up then get you." Brock explained as he started down the road.
I nodded my head not really wanting to speak. Good thing Brock wasn't the talking type anyway. While I looked ahead at the road I felt my phone buzing again. Now who could it be.
Fishing the cell phone out of my pocket I saw Seth's name in bold.
"What?" I asked lifelessly.
"So what's our cover babe?" He cooed.
"Cover? We don't have one. Roman's not stupid, he kows it's true."
"And he's letting you stay? Damn, I knew you were good but I had no idea you were that good."
"I'm not staying, he told me to leave and packed my bag."
"So what time should you be here?" He asked.
"What the hell do you mean what time should I be there?"
"I mean isn't this what we wanted? To be together for good?"
"Seth, I fell in love with him.."
"Which one?" He laughed.
"What?"
"I mean you were whoring around with all of us so I thought I'd make sure we were talking about the same person."
I hung the phone up and began crying again. Seth was right. I whored around with all of them. So I guess it's true, I'm a whore. Noticing Brock jumped when I screamed made me want to scream even more. Why were guys such assholes? I felt the phone started buzzing again. Without even looking at the screen I rolled the window down and chunked the phone, I was done.
Before too long we were pulling into a parking spot outside a hotel. Looking around I noticed Paul standing outside a door waiting for us. Brock looked over at me and asked, "Can you walk?"
I nodded my head, "I think so.."
Opening the door I allowed my feet to fall to the ground holding me up. Shutting the door I walked over to Paul. Wrapping me in his arms I began to cry again. He patted my back and helped me in his hotel room.
Once I got insode and sat down on the bed. Brock handed me a cup of hot chocolate. I thanked him and began drinking it allowing the hot luquid to burn down my throat.
"I knew it was your favorite." Paul smiled and sat down beside me.
"Thank you, I don't know what I'd do without you."
Paul nodded and Brock set down in the desk chair. Both of them were looking me over, probably expecting me to talk about why I was there. But I don't know if I was ready to actually talk about it.
"So, whats-"
Paul interupted Brock, "She'll tell us when she is ready."
Brock nodded and turned to the tv. I noticed they were watching old episodes of Friends I smiled thinkning about being a little girl back in Union City. This was my mothers favortie show she would watch it everyday at six o'clock while AJ and I made some kinda dinner. It was the epiosde where they go to Las Vegas and Rachel drunknly marries Ross. A chuckle escaped my lips causing both men to look at me.
I smiled, "I like this show."
"Me too!" Brock said laughing.
"I'd love to go get something to eat. What do you kids say about Denny's?" Paul asked.
"Let's go!" I smiled.
We all climbed in Brock's car. Me in the back and them in the front. I didn't mind, of course I was the smallest so it'd be easier for me to climb in and out. Once we got down the road Paul reached up and turned the radio on. Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen was on. God I hated this song.
Paul began singing it word for word making Brock and I laugh. I couldn't figure out what was funnier, the way he was singing it, or the fact that he knew every word. As it came to an end he turned it down while Brock and I clapped. Paul did a little bow and began laughing with us.
~~
We all piled into one booth once we got to Denny's. An older woman seated us and took our orders since we already knew what we wanted. As I looked over at Paul and Brock I cleared my throat. Both of them looked up at me.
"I'm ready to talk about it." I stated simply.
"We are always ready to listen kid." Paul smiled.
Expalining everything to them took about an hour and a half. Of course they both asked questions and I answered them. I cried some more, I laughed, and I got pissed. But this was the only way I could get over it, talk abuout it.
When I finally finished we had all already finished our food. Both Paul and Brock were now staring at me blankly.
"So does that make me a bad person?" I asked.
"Bad person? No. I think you just made some bad mistakes." Brock said.
"You feel for the temptations, but just because you do that doesn't mean it labels you for life. Dean and Seth are ever so much the blame as you are." Paul explained.
"You think?" I asked.
"I know. Ashley, it taks two to tango. You didn't do it by youself."
"You guys are the only ones who seem to believe that.." I trailed off.
"Don't worry about it. What you and Roman had was special. One way or another you two will find the way to each other again."
"I hope so, I really do love him..." I trailed off.
Our waitress walked over with the check in her hand. Giving it to Paul he fished out a fifty dollar bill and handed it to her telling her to keep it.
"Thank you so much sir," she looked over to me, "By the way you have a beautiful daughter."
"Oh no I'm not-"
"Thank you," Paul said putting his hand on mine, "I am very proud of her."
That's when I realized, Paul was the father I never had.
~~
After we left Denny's I had the guys drop me off at my house. It was 6:30 a.m. and I was beat. Sleep was definitely calling my name.
I waved goodbye as I unlocked my door. Opening it I was hit with the aroma of apples and cinnamon. Laughing I went and sat on the couch. Roman always loved that air freshener. Every time he was over when I cleaned he mad me use it. I went to grab my phone but I remembered I threw it out the window.
"Shit." I mumbled.
I got up and walked to my home phone. Still having no idea why I had still had it turned on I dialed Roman's number. When it went to voicemail I remembered, we weren't together.
A tear slipped out of my eye and I set the phone down. I had had such a good time with Paul ad Brock I completely forgot about what happened earlier.
Setting down on the floor tears washed down my cheeks. As I looked over to the door someone started knocking. I really wasn't in the mood to see anybody right now. I was just praying Roman would call me back.
When the phone began to ring I almost had a heart attack. I didn't even look at the number before I answered it.
"Ello?" I asked.
"Hello, is the April Mendez?" A man asked.
"Uhm, no. Actually this is her sister.." I trailed off.
"Ah, Ember?"
I was very confused. Nobody called us by our real names. Looking at the phone I saw a Jersey area code. Who in the hell would be calling me from New Jersey?
"Yes, who is this?" I asked.
"I'm sorry, where are my manners. My name is Doctor Elrod. I am calling regarding your mother." He explained.
"My mother? I haven't spoken to her in years.."
As I spoke I heard beeping signaling someone else calling. Right now I couldn't care less. I just wanted to know why this doctor was calling me.
"The sheriff got a call from one of her neighbors. She hadn't seen her in a couple days. The police thought this was kind of suspicious so they went and checked it out. They found her unconscious. When she got to our hospital she wasn't breathing on her own. I managed to save her but the number of drugs in her system were astonishingly high. She's in ICU now, but I'm afraid we don't know how long she'll make it.. You and April might want to come and say your last goodbyes just in case."
I was shocked. Yes, I knew mother had been on drugs but I didn't know it was this bad. I blamed myself. Maybe if I wouldn't have left she would have gotten clean. I can't let her die alone, she needs me. And after everything I've been through, I think I could use some of that mothers guidance.
"Ms. Mendez?" Dr. Elrod asked.
"Yeah, sorry. I'm going to call April then I'll take the first flight out." I said holding back tears.
"Okay, see you then ma'am."
I didn't say anything else, just hung up the phone. Not bothering to see who called me I dialed AJ's number.
"This better be fucking good Ashley!!" AJ yelled.
"Okay for just a minute don't be bitch AJ and be the April I know," I said rudely, "Mothers in the hospital, they don't know how long she'll make it. We need to go say our last goodbyes."
She was quiet a minute before she spoke, "I told that bitch her last goodbye when I left."
Without another word AJ hung the phone up. I understood they had bad beef but she couldn't look past that. Rolling my eyes I grabbed the bag Roman had packed my little bit of stuff in. I figured that would be enough stuff for now.
I called a cab and requested a ride. While I waited for it I dialed Paul. Of course he don't answer, he was probably sleeping or something.
"Hey," I spoke to his voicemail, "My moms in the hospital. She might not make it.. I have to go to Jersey.. I know the plan was a month, but we might have to call everything off. When I get to Union City I'll buy a new phone a call you from it, I'll see ya Paul. Don't replace me while I'm gone."
Putting the phone on the coffee table I heard the horn. Here I go, back to the place it all started. Locking the door behind me I whispered, "Jersey's my new start."