When I got back to Alex’s room I was calmed down a little bit. Alex was sprawled out on his floor half-awake with a huge biology book in his hands
“Alex?” He stirred and woke up, looking up at me through blurry eyes
“Yeah?”
“Can you sleep in your bed tonight with me?” I asked trying to keep the tears from coming back. God I must be a real baby. It just sucks that Vic basically said he only talked to me because of my scars. It makes me feel horrible knowing that I'm a project
“Your boyfriend won’t mind?” he said getting up from the floor. He was going to say more but he saw my broken expression.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I stated blankly. I didn't want to get into it. Not now at least. With that I crawled in bed not even bothering to climb out of my clothes. Alex got into bed with me, not willing to say anything more on the issue. I cuddled against him not caring that I shouldn't get attached. I just needed the comfort right now.
“Want to hear something funny?” Alex whispered in my ear as I started to tear up. I nodded, needing a distraction before I started to cry like a child all over again. “I’m afraid of water. I hate it. Do you know I have no idea how to swim?” Alex whispered. There was a smile in his voice. “Don’t tell anyone.” I laughed and with that we both fell asleep. We held onto each other and tried to hold everything in our lives together, in one perfect little form that wouldn’t come crashing down on us.
***
The week went by slowly but after a few quizzes, a paper, and a few aches of my heart the week ended and it was Friday. It snowed all week so Alex, Jack and I were holed up inside their room, staring out at the fresh snow. We decided that we both had the right to get out tonight. That’s when Alex, Jack, and I decided that a party at the infamous soccer player’s house The Net would be fun.
***
I got a chance to go back to my own room when Tay was at volleyball practice. I grabbed a red flannel that I owned and my black skinny jeans. Alex and I decided that we wanted to look our best. If there were going to be rumors about us seeing each other then we might as well make them believable. I got ready and I could honestly say I looked pretty hot. The girls would swoon over me if everyone here didn't know I was gay. Hey, confidence is sexy.
I left with a smile and ran, I mean really ran, into a startled Tay. “What the hell,” she huffed before looking up. When she did actually look her face changed from annoyance to hate.
“What are you doing here Kellin?” She stepped back from me with her hands on her hips, classic Tay the sass queen.
“I was getting ready to go out.”
“You’re going out? Really now, you never go out.” She looked dumbfounded which gave me some kind of sick pleasure. I'm turning evil.
“You see Taylor I’m going to The Net and I hope to see you there tonight.”
And with that I walked away. I felt self-pride swell inside my chest. Yo go bro! Show the bitch what's up. I decided on the walk back to Alex's room that tonight was going to be the night I forget about Vic and Tay.
I made my way back to Alex’s room around 9. The parties here usually started around 10, so I’ve heard. Jack was pretty big on the party scene and he knew everyone. I felt my phone vibrate right when I was walking into the boy’s dorm.
Vic: Please forgive me. Seriously Kellin just come over
Me: Sorry. Busy.
I put my phone on silent after that and walked into Alex’s room.
"Hold the presses I look hot," I smiled at the boys, giving them a bow that just led both of them to roll their eyes. There indeffrence to my attractivness didn't stop me from winking at them. "Let's go and get this party started!"
The Net was packed by the time we got there. Walls and walls of people flanked the small house. The basement was were the kegs and the music were set up so Alex led us to the basement stairs and as soon as I got to the first step a wall of heat hit me like a train. I held onto Alex as the three of us headed into the cramped basement full of sweating bodies because let's be honest I'm a klutz.
Down there it looked like a bunch of cattle was herded into one small and sweat filled pen. You also could tell where the kegs were because it was like a drinking hole; tons of people crowded around them waiting for just a little bit of cheap beer and regret. Alex pushed through all the people near the stairs and dragged me along with him. There was a little spot in the far corner of the basement where there was fewer people so we figured we could chill there for now. I mean there were guys peeing on the ground a few feet away, but still.
“Wait here while we get drinks.” Alex had to shout over the loud techno music. He and Jack pushed through the crowd and they were instantly swallowed up.
I listened to the music for a while even though it was pretty shitty. What does a guy have to do to get some Blink 182 up in here?? Damn they were taking long.
“Hey sexy.” I turned to my left to see a guy staring at me. “You want a drink?” I've seem him around before and he's known to be a perv plus I would never go for him, his hair is super weird.
“My friends are already getting me one. Thank you but sorry.” I turned my head to the right and stared at the wall in hopes that he would take the hint and walk away. No dice.
“Aren’t you that Kellin guy everyone is talking about?”
“Yup,” I nodded, trying to get my voice heard from over the music. “I’m not interested so can you please leave?” I asked nicely, well I thought it was nice at least. Usually I would bring on the sass but I was feeling pretty calm tonight.
“Come on,” He came closer, putting his hand on my hip. I wasn’t about to be the guy that gets date raped.
“Stop!” I yelled over the music. He continued to touch my side,his hand rubbing my hip. What a creep.
“You heard him, man get going,” Jack said, two beers in hand. He came back just in time. Jack wasn't exactly someone you would want to mess with. He may look scrawny but that boy could pack a punch.
With a few shoves and a yell of “slut” the guy was gone. Seriously people keep calling my slut like I'm some manwhore. I mean come on I've slept with one guy sue me.
“My hero!” I grabbed one beer out of his hand and kissed him on the cheek. Ladies and gentlemen I was about to get wasted. White boy wasted. Check yourselves.
Alex came back soon after and it was just the three of us in the cramped corner. I chugged back my beer, getting a little foam on my chin like a little kid and grabbed Alex’s other beer. I just assumed the extra one was for me. After about four beers everything was getting a little blurry. I'm a light wait because I'm basically a walking skeleton. I don’t remember a lot of it besides Alex filling my cup up a few times. He wouldn't let me near the keg because he assumed I'd do a keg stand. I would.
“Another round!” I laughed, handing Alex my fifth empty cup. I held onto the wall, trying to keep myself steady. Everything was just so great.
“Maybe we should cut him off?” I heard Jack say to Alex. He nodded and took the cup from me, crumbled it, and through it in the nearby trash can.
“You’re cut off handsome,” Alex said, grabbing me so I didn’t fall. I grabbed onto the poster behind me, one of a girl in a bikini.
“Am I hot like her Jack?” I asked, striking a pose. I’m not proud of my drunk self but I was having fun. Plus I'm not proud of the fact I was comparing myself to a girl.
“Of course!” Jack laughed, giving me a once over. “You look like dynamite.” I knew he was humoring me because I'm not even sure if he was gay but the gesture was appreciated.
I laughed and looked at Alex who still had his hand on my waist. “What do you think Alex?” I asked, kissing him on the jaw and giving him a wink. He looked down at me.
“I think we should take you home,” he said again. I saw Tay out of the corner of my eye. She was blatantly watching me as her friends poured drinks. How do you like it Tay? I kissed Alex full on the lips hard and grabbed his hand. He put his hand on my hip to stop me but I pushed harder.
“Just go with it.” I whispered, kissing his neck. I saw Tay’s face. I can be a vindictive douche if I want to. Alex kissed me this time, his hand cupping my face up to his mouth. He smelled like straight up beer and I’m sure I did too but that wasn’t stopping me. His hand on my waist was the only thing keeping me from falling so I leaned into him. Jack took the hint and walked away to talk to other people. Alex and I went for it, we didn’t care who was watching. I ran my hands through his hair and kissed his neck. I was totally in control of the situation. At least I think.
“You’re good,” Alex huffed before kissing me again. I was about to tell him how good he was but I fell over, catching myself. He leaned down to help me up and that’s when I saw Tay leave. I waved, a huge smile on my face as she flipped me off.
“You’re good too!” I yelled over the beat.
“Kells I think we should get you home,” Alex continued as he kissed my neck. If I could I would live in that moment, that perfect moment of Alex’s lips on my neck and the buzz of the beer working its way through my system but over Alex’s shoulder I saw Vic walking this way.
That’s right, fucking Victor.
“We gotta go,” I slurred, grabbing Alex’s hand.
“Why?” He got his answer when Vic grabbed him by his shirt
“Take it outside!” I heard someone from across the room call.
“Outside. Now.” Vic said looking me straight in the eye. He pushed Alex back and I grabbed his hand, trying to steady myself.
We walked out into the cold and the first thing I thought of was that I should have brought a jacket. The snow was at a steady pace and the combination of that and the freezing weather everything was turning into black ice. I squeezed Alex’s hand tightly trying not to fall. That wouldn’t exactly scream elegance. Vic was waiting for us in front of the porch, his arms crossed at his chest. He looked pissed. Jaime stood at his side, unable to look me in the eye. Something was up.
“How did you know I was here?” I slurred, actually interested in their answer. I was really directing my question to Jaime but Vic answered for him.
“Tay sent Jaime a text about ten minutes ago and I figured we should come to watch you. I guess I figured right. Anyway, what do you think you’re doing with him?” Vic glared. Alex just glared right back not breaking eye contact. I’m sure the whole confrontation was sobering him up but not me. I could still feel the buzz of alcohol working its way through my system. My head was not in the game at all.
“Why the fuck is that your business?” Alex shot back, his hand still wrapped around mine.
“I’m cold,” I declared, cuddling up next to Alex. He put his arm around my shoulder in an attempt to warm me up. Vic stepped forward but Jaime held him back. I can’t remember ever seeing someone so angry.
“Just back up and we can settle this without fighting,” Alex said patiently, still holding onto me.
“I’m going to kick your ass,” Vic said, glaring at Alex. If looks could kill we'd all be dead from second hand death stare.
“Do it then. If you want to do it then do it.” Alex let go of me and I stumbled a little but regained my balance. The weight of what was about to happen finally hit me.
“Stop!” I screamed, trying to get their attention. It didn’t work. Alex and Vic got closer together. Alex took the first blow, straight to the chest, I heard the sound of the air leaving his body. “Stop!” I screamed again but they were too far gone now. All I could see was Alex dig his knee into Vic’s chest and hitting him right in the jaw. I heard a sickening pop that made my ears ring. Vic regained control of the situation though and got Alex right in the eye.
“Fuck!” I heard Alex yelp, his hand over his eye. Blood was coming from Vic’s mouth and Alex was holding his chest, crumbled up into a ball. He looked like a balloon with no air. Jaime finally got between them, holding his hands out and steadying Vic. He wiped the blood from his face and just looked at me.
“What’s going on?” I heard Jack call from behind us. The sound of the party escaped through the open door. No one answered but he caught on quickly.
“Woah, woah, calm down everyone.” Jack stepped in, taking Jaime’s place. “No one hurts Alex, who the fuck are you anyway?”
The anger seemed to leave Vic, his shoulders slumped as he wiped the blood that was slowly dribbling down his jaw. He looked at me, almost begging me to come with him. I almost did. I felt to urge to just go over to him and help him but then I remembered our last conversation. My veins filled with ice. I won't cave that easily.
“Go home Vic,” I said, moving past the still hunched over Alex. He was trying to catch his breath. I could already see a bruise forming around his eye. I walked toward Vic, trying to avoid the ice. I slipped at one point but Jaime was there to catch me. “Go home and stay there because I may be drunk but I remember our last conversation.” My slurred speech went away as I began to sober up.
“Maybe you should think before you and him put on a show in front of everyone,” Vic said, pointing at the now upright Alex. There was anger in his voice. I grabbed onto Jaime’s arm to steady myself.
“Maybe you should think before being an asshole and taking pity on a guy that’s already sick enough as it is. And you!” I pointed at Alex. “We need to have a mentally ill meeting stat when we get back to the dorm.” Alex nodded, his look made my heart melt. I hope he trusted me.
“Let me explain about what I said and what the fuck is a mentally ill meeting?”
“I have Borderline Personality Disorder Vic. Now leave Alex alone. We’ll talk tomorrow at some point.” Vic’s face looked shocked. He masked it up quickly though, Jaime at his side. I heard Jaime say “What the fuck dude,” before they walked away. I guess now was as good as any time to bring my illness out of the closet. The climatic fight scene was over and with a sigh of relief I walked back to Alex.
“You never told me that.” Alex looked hurt in more ways than one.
“Let’s go home.”
“That sounds like a great idea.” And with that we headed home, my shirt soaked in beer and Alex’s eye black and blue. Jack stayed at the party so that left Alex and I with a little alone time.
“You know black and blue are my favorite colors,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.
“What we did back there was stupid.”
“You both were just mad.”
“No Kellin, I mean back at the party.” I thought back and it took a little time for my brain to register that we made out in front of everyone. I blushed because damn.
“That wasn’t us; those were different people so let’s not talk about it okay?” I was embarrassed to the extreme. Where did the quite and laid back Kellin go? He was replaced by this revenge seeking douchebag. With that I realized that I have a few bridges to mend. I needed to have a talk with Vic, one with Alex, but most importantly, one with Tay.