Chapter 11
It had been atleast five days since I saw Xavier. He was more stubborn than anticipated and it annoyed the hell out of me.
The subject was still touchy even after five days. I was overly embarrassed, overly annoyed and overly pissed off at the stupid male. When Katie brought up the topic or even then subject of Xavier I couldn't help but snap.
He left me there throwing stupid, useless and pathetic excuses my way. "Stay away from me, I'm no good!" No you're not any good, you're bad for my health and I wanted to stay mad at you forever.
But my anger was fading day by day, and even on the fifth day I just wanted to talk to him again. He was like a magnet, one I couldn't even try to pull away from. I craved to be beside him, to feel him there, to touch him. I wanted his lips on mine again, and that pissed me off more than anything.
I didn't have many classes with him and I was more than grateful, I didn't think I could cope.
Five days was a long time and I was still banging on about the topic. My brain was beginning to tell me what a pathetic excuse of a woman I was. I knew I was, but the pathetic excuse of a male did this to me.
Why did it matter anyway? It shouldn't. I shook my head as I rid all thoughts. I didn't want to get carried away with my thoughts on Xavier. It happened more than it should.
"I thought you went to another planet then," Mali said as she sipped from her cup as she sat opposite me.
"Sorry, what?" My brain came back down from the clouds, and I was grateful.
"Something the matter?" She asked as she dumped her cup back down and looked to me with an attentive look.
"No," I replied back as I huffed. Katie and Mali looked to each other and I knew the look they gave each other. I chose to ignore it.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I doubt I am," Katie interjected as she leaned forward, "but you've had a face like a slapped arse for the last couple of days and you're extremely anti sociable," Mali looked to her and Katie added, "more than usual," she replied with a smile and a nod and I just looked down to the table.
"I'm fine, honestly, nothing is the matter," I smiled but it must have come out a little weird. I was still pissed off and annoyed, no doubt about it. But I still didn't understand why.
Suddenly, from the corner of my eye I saw his muscled figure breeze into the room. I could almost hear the scuff of his shoes, and I could almost feel his presence before I saw him.
I turned away as he looked over. He could fuck right off.
As he sat down on the table opposite me, on his lonesome, I picked my body up from the chair and went to leave.
"Emily," I heard his rumbled voice call out my name through the noise of others around me. I stopped for a moment and freezed. His voice stupidly made me incapable to move.
I shook out of it and my feet went into action again. I walked away.
"Emily," his voice was louder this time and I could hear it loud and clear even when I was just a few centimetres away from the door. It was like the whole room went quiet.
I didn't bother to wait, I didn't want to embarrass myself, and I was still pissed off at him. I was a woman and I was allowed to be annoyed.
I continued to walk, leaving him there calling after me.
I didn't get far until my elbow was being gripped by a large rough hand.
"Emily, don't walk away from me," his voice contained a certain amount of agitation and anger.
"Like you walked away from me last week?" I said back as I turned around. His hand came away from my elbow and his head was almost cast down to the floor.
"Don't do this here," he demanded. I shook my head and scoffed.
"You started it, now leave me alone," I replied back as I went to walk again. I didn't get any further before I was being pushed into a room. Xavier flickered on the lights and they made his features glow. His eyes were hard and angry, and I wanted to back away in fear, but I wasn't going to show him that.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I seethed. Who did he think he was? He couldn't man handle me here! Or anywhere for that matter!
"Don't fucking swear at me," he gritted through his teeth. I let out a little laugh.
"Piss off," I punctuated my ever word and I hoped he got it.
He got angrier, more agitated and furious, that was for sure.
"You need to watch your mouth,"
"I don't need to watch anything,"
"Why are you so infuriating?"
"Why are you such a coward!" I almost shrieked. Xavier went quiet as I looked over to him. His chest rose and fell as he breathed hard.
"I'm not a coward," he whispered almost menacingly. "I'm not a fucking coward!" He almost roared. I stepped back in fright.
Xavier lodged his hand in his hair which I knew he did when he was trying to rein in his temper.
"Don't ever call me a coward," Xavier almost whispered. It was better than the shouting.
"Why did you kiss me then leave me?" I asked as I moved away.
"Why are you going on about it?"
"Because I'm pissed off, Xavier, you can't go doing things like that and then go on to say I have to stay away," I huffed. "I did stay away but you came after me, how does that work?" Xavier huffed in annoyance.
"Don't ask me,"
"Who am I meant to ask? Jesus? I'm pretty sure even he wouldn't have a clue what the hell goes through your mind, you're a tough case, Xavier, you're a bloody jigsaw puzzle but those ones that don't fit in anywhere," I let out. Xavier didn't say a word again.
"I'm sorry I don't fit in anywhere," Xavier sneered. I rolled my eyes slightly.
"You don't fit in because you don't want to. You're too agressive, too mean, too closed off, Xavier, I'm sorry but people like you don't make friends, you're physically incapable, you scare them off, they don't like you because you're not likable!" I said in anger. I didn't mean to say it, and I regretted it after the words left my mouth.
I hadn't meant to seem so horrible. But it really was the truth, I just didn't think I'd see the face of a vulnerable man before me.
"Why are you always hanging around?" He asked quietly. His face was looking to the floor and I've had enough of seeing the top of his head.
"Pardon?"
"I said why are you always hanging around? If I'm so dislikable, why are you always there?" He asked again.
He had well and truly stumped me. I didn't know what to say. He was right. Why was I always there? Why was I always talking to him? Wanting to be friends? The question even stumped me.
"I-I...don't know," I said truthfully. Xavier shook his head.
"Well, do you like me?"
"Pardon?" I spluttered again.
"Do you like me?" He asked again, his voice quite, low and deep. "I can't be dislikable if you like me,"
"Of course I like you, why would I be speaking to you otherwise," I said truthfully. I couldn't lie. But the question was why? Why did I like him? Shouldn't I have ran for the hills like every other person did when they crossed paths with this messed up man.
Xavier didn't reply. He hummed his response. He seemed almost upset as he stood there. Didn't he not like being called dislikable? Did he want to be liked deep down? My heart seized for him.
"I like you, Xavier, I didn't mean what I said," I said quietly and gently. I felt bad for what I said.
"But you did mean it, you're right," he lifted his head up and I looked to him as I bit my lip in thought. "I can't change who I am, I'm not that weird jigsaw puzzle that doesn't fit in, I'm that delinquent son of a bitch who bends and breaks all the puzzle pieces so others can't complete it," my heart stopped at his confession. My heart really did beat faster as I looked to him.
"Don't say that-"
"I will say it because it's true, if we're being honest here then I will too. I also think you're a stubborn, infuriating, annoying and incredibly stupid, Niave little girl. You completely do my head in and sometimes I wish I could just blank you out and forget about ever meeting you,"
"A little harsh," I mumbled like a little girl. I think he went a little over board. My heart sank and my eyes dropped to the floor.
"But I can't. You're irresistible, Emily, and that's why I kissed you the other day. I can't seem to want to stay away, and it pisses me off more than anything in this world," he almost seems angry again. "I want to stay away, but I can't. I don't get why, okay? I'm lost. I don't know what to do or how to do it, how to deal with it or even how to say it, I'm so fucking messed up, before you even came along, and now I'm even worse," he lodged his hand through his hair. He stalked forward and I didn't dare move.
"That doesn't explain why you left," I whispered.
"I left because I didn't feel as if I deserved to kiss you. Five days down the line and I wish I stayed,"
"You should have stayed," I stated. I didn't know why but I also couldn't stay away. I wanted Xavier beside me, always, and it was weird.
This total need to be near him, it wasn't healthy, surely.
I looked up to meet his wild brown eyes and his messy, equally as wild hair. It didn't help that he kept throwing his hands into it.
His eyes flickered down and he didn't meet my eyes.
"I should have stayed, but I didn't, I never stay, Emily, I never want to," he said. "But with you I wanted to stay, it was weird, leaving usually made me feel better, like I was free, but with you, when I walked away I actually felt the need to stay, and I honestly didn't want to leave,"
"Weird, huh?" He smiled down at me and I was blown away like I always was. He was too beautiful and he was right infront of me.
"Weird doesn't quite cut it for me, it's like discovering something big for the first time," my eyebrow crooked slightly as I looked to him. Xavier chuckled slightly and I smiled his way. I loved how boyish he looked. "Don't look at me like that,"
"Sorry," we continued to smile at each other.
"We friends?" Xavier asked and his vulnerability came shining through again. I nodded my head.
"Friends," I replied. Xavier smiled before turning his head to look behind him.
"We should get out of here,"
"I was thinking that the moment you threw me in here," I replied back. He grabbed my arm as he pulled me with him to the door.
"Seeing you angry is quite sexy, and I didn't want others seeing that," I looked to him in astonishment. He truly was opening up. He winked my way and he smiled mischievously.
Where was Xavier and what had he done with him?
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Hope you liked it! I wanted to update for an amazing person I've gotten to know who snap chatted me to ask when I'm updating. The answer is now ;)
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