"violet! congrats!"
the girl smiles to the stranger that had showed up, violet had seen him around work but they had never spoken before.
the sun had set in purples, leaving the sky to seem an endless dark patch of stars. the blackness goes on forever except for the warm lit lamps set around.
there was music playing through a couple of speakers. a hot tub near the trailer lit up in l.e.d colors for those who couldnt take the cold of the night desert. others chatting amongst another in a low hum.
but most importantly, people upon people had shown up, and it was more overwhelming to violet than expected.
nick approaches violet who stood alone outside amongst many others. he wraps his arm around her shoulders, pulling her chill coated body close to him.
"vi! come get a drink with me!"
"oh, i don't want one." she allows him to pull her along until he stops to stare at her in disbelief.
"this is your celebration, of course you do!"
she stays silent as shes pulled to the cooler of drinks, already halfway empty as everyone seemed to have something in their hand.
he pulls one for himself, her too. but violets head shakes, putting it back.
"seriously i'm good. i don't want to feel bad tomorrow."
"you've really turned into a old grump, you know." nick teases, watching as his brothers band mate approaches them.
ayla gives violet a gentle hug, followed with a heart filled smile that seemed to comfort violet in a certain way of tranquility. she stood beaded in water from the hot tub, a bathing suit attached to her pale skin.
"youre pieces today were incredible violet. no way those wont make it on magazines."
"thanks again, ayla. i know that wasn't really your thing-"
"finn promised me food." she nudges the tall girl with her elbow, earning a laugh and a head shake.
"do you know where he is? i haven't seen him around all night."
"yeah he was with me in the hot tub." she points to the direction in which she came, grabbing a beer from the cooler.
"hes stuck talking to one of the models here, sounds pretty interested in the job if you ask me."
ayla had expected a smile from violet, instead shes met with a shrug and a stare towards the blurry people in the hot water.
"you should come in! theres lots of room."
"oh, no thanks." she smiles,
"but i'll follow you over there."
ayla agrees, walking alongside her to the direction of her band member. as they approach, the blurry bodies start to take shape, and sure enough there finn sat; beside a built blonde model, laughing alongside her boyfriend as the two boys talk of what she was assuming, work.
finn reaches out for the beer from ayla as she gets in, catching a glance of violet as his friend sits down.
"vi, hey!" he moves to her, leaning on the edge to be directly the height of her own.
"are you coming in?"
"nah" she shakes her head,
"im staying occupied talking out here."
it was a lie.
"okay." he smiles, kissing her lips quickly.
"i just came to check in, see how youre doing."
"dude that guy max," he points behind him to the man he was previously talking to,
"his life is insane! modeling in paris, acting jobs."
"that could be you." she whispers close to him in a forced smile.
"ha ha, i know i know. " he sarcastically roles his eyes, pressing his opened beer towards her.
"hey do you want this."
"no, im good. im going to go find nick, okay?"
"yeah." he kisses her once more,
"i'll come find you in a bit."
violet walks away with a lie, for she wasnt planning on finding nick. she didn't necessarily feel like talking at all in fact. perhaps it was the feeling of strangers around her, but more importantly it was the nerves to her gut.
call it selfish but she just wanted to go home.
~*~
when she finally got home, however, she no longer wanted to be stuck there.
violet decided that she would hold off on telling him what ate away at her nerves. and yet, only being around him made her feel faint.
ayla almost immediately crashes on nicks couch once the four gets home. maxine making sure to supply her with blankets and pillows the second they stepped through the door.
quietly, violet proceeds to her room as finn stays in the kitchen to say goodnight to his brother.
he'd supposed that he found that weird, finn could feel something off with violet in the way that she distanced herself. he knew her well, in that she was typically social and outgoing.
finn waits for everyone to head to bed before he continued to violets room. he opens the door quietly as violet already laid in bed. although she was awake, staring to the emptiness of the ceiling.
"hey baby."
she gives off a light smile, trying her best to keep it down.
he comes to sit on her side of the bed, his hand resting to her leg.
"is everything alright?"
"everything's fine?" she sits up, resting against the headboard.
"you've been off all night."
"no?" she defends herself.
he sighs, staring down to his shoes.
"you would tell me if somethings wrong?"
she forces a lying laugh,
"everything's fine finn."
he reluctantly gives a smile back, standing to change out of his clothes. he pulls a different shirt on, setting his wallet and keys to the dresser.
"nick told me, vi."
her eyes widen,
"told you what?"
"that you've seemed off the past few weeks." he takes his spot next to her once again.
"so whats really going on? 'cause i know you, you're not fine."
she stares down to her hands, refusing to make eye contact for her heart was about to jump out of her throat. she was going to do her best to tell him another day, but he knew that somethings up; and he was eventually going to be devastated by it.
"violet come on."
her eyes only stare to him, silently.
"please." he begs, trying so hard to search her empty eyes.
her breath comes out staggered as she swallows ever so harshly,
"i cant."
immediately, finn senses the unsteadiness in her voice. her eyes reflect in the light in contained tears. softly he holds onto her shaking hand, his voice so gentle, so caring.
"why?"
"you'll leave me." she stares at him, clearly taking him off guard as he sighs down to his lap.
a horrible feeling fills his gut, still holding onto her despite expecting the worse of what was about to be reviled.
she had been gone for a while, and he guessed that it was only a matter of time before she realized that he was no good for her; and fell in love with someone else.
"violet if you're going to hurt me, just get it over with."
she pulls her hand from his, resting the both of hers over her face; desperately trying to wipe away the fear that fell from her eyes.
"i don't want to hurt you."
"i think you already have, vi." he whispers.
she tries to collect herself, sitting up fully to finally wipe away her cheeks for good.
"before i moved in, you told me that the band was over the minute one of you has a kid and; i don't want to do that to you."
his eyes widen, shooting up to violet quickly.
"what?"
"i dont want to ruin your life." her head shakes.
"are you- you're serious? you're pregnant?"
she nods, staring to him within her red eyes. violet practically jumps at finn touch; pulling her in with such a tight hold, keeping her close by the arms around her waist.
she sits dumbfounded, unsure how to react to the reaction she had expected last. he pulls away, staring at her with such confusion and excitement in his eyes. stuttering over his words;
"when did you find out?"
"a week ago, but ive looked for doctors in vancouver; i found one that said he'd do an abortion for $370 and it think after i get this promotion i can afford it-"
"what the hell are you talking about?" his eyebrows furrow, nostrils flare lightly as he inspects violets sticky wet cheeks.
"i'll take care of the situation just please don't leave me-"
"violet, jesus stop." he pulls her into his hold again, refusing to let go.
"im not going anywhere."
"you said you didn't ever want kids; that your band would be done and i know how much that means to you."
"it doesn't have to end. hey,"
he pulls from a hug, pushing her hair behind her ear to rest his hand to her cheek.
"its not ideal. but this is a happy time for us, so don't cry okay? don't cry."
violet nods, settling herself down within his stare.
he smiles, taking her hands to shake around in whispering excitement.
"we're going to have a baby!"
violet presses out a gentle laugh at his tone, sinking into the kiss that he leaves to her nose.
"we're going to figure it out violet. im not leaving you, not ever."
1560 wc
-WHAT AM I THINKING