[THE CLEARING, CAMP GLITTER, MIDDAY]
Quinn: Hey, guys! We're all hanging out today for a Fathers' Day barbecue!
Hamilton: *sitting at a picnic table arguing with Burr*
Eliza and Philip: *sneak up behind him*
Eliza: *slips her hands over his eyes*
Hamilton: *furrows brow* What? Who's behind me?
Eliza: Guess. *kisses his cheek*
Hamilton: Hmm, is it the traitor? Sorry, but I'm not John Laurens.
Eliza: *laughs, takes her hands off of his eyes and rubs his shoulders* So emotional... I wasn't looking for John Laurens. Today is Fathers' Day, and I was looking for my husband and the father of my son. Have you seen him?
Hamilton: Oh, I'm sure he's around here somewhere, listening.
Burr: Probably not listening...
Philip: Happy Fathers' Day, Dad! *gives him a present*
Hamilton: *brightens* Oh, thank you, son! *opens it up*
Philip: It's lots of new pens and paper and folders and stuff. Oh, and I made you a card!
Eliza: But this is for Alexander and Alexander only. Because there's no one I would have rather lived this life with.
Hamilton: *beaming* Thank you, love. I'm sorry your husband's such a petty mess.
Eliza: *kisses him* It's okay.
Hamilton: That was the part where you were supposed to say, "Oh, no you're not, Alexander! You're wonderful!"
Eliza: *laughs* Well, you are wonderful, but you know I was raised to well to lie.
Hamilton: *pretends to look hurt and gasps*
Philip: *climbs onto Alex's lap and hugs him*
Theo: *taps on Burr's arm*
Burr: *looks over at her and smiles* Oh, hello, angel. Are you having a nice day?
Theo: *nods* I'm sorry Mama isn't here today. But she gave me this to give to you. *hands a present*
Burr: Aww, thank you. *kisses her head*
Theo: *snuggles up to him*
Burr: And we'll see Mom when we get home. I bet she can't wait to hear all about our trip. Then we'll all do something special together, okay?
Theo: *smiles* Okay.
Quinn: *runs over to Washington and gives him a present* Happy Fathers' Day, Mr. Washington!
Washington: *looks surprised* Oh, thank you, Quinn. You didn't have to.
Quinn: It's from all of us. You're our Washingdad and we love you. *turns to face everyone* Let's give it up for Washingdad!
Everyone: *claps*
Washington: *keeps himself poised but allows himself to smile*
Quinn: Now, I know there's a bunch of other dads here, and we have a surprise for you.
[ENTER PATTON]
Patton: HI THERE!
(beat)
Hamilton: Uh... Quinn? What... is this the surprise?
Patton: Just kidding. And don't even worry if you didn't get me any Fathers' Day present, Thomas and the others all gave me a lovely little party. They're such good kiddos! Anyway, I'm just being an escort. *motions for some people off-screen to follow him*
[ENTER ADRIENNE AND THE LAFAYETTE FAMILY]
Laff: Adrienne! *runs over to embrace her*
Adrienne: Mon amour, bonne fête des pères.
Georges: *very accented English* Papa! Am learning English now!
Laff: *chuckles* Very good! But it is "I am learning English now."
Georges: *nods* "I am learning English now." Yes, Papa.
Laff: *grins and ruffles his hair*
Marie: *runs into Laff's arms*
Laff: Oh, mon poussin! *picks her up and kisses her cheek*
Philip: *runs over to Georges* Salut, Georges! Comment vas-tu?
Georges: Hello, Philip. We speak English today, yes? I am learning.
Philip: Oh, okay. You wanna go play football or something?
Georges: *nods and goes off with him*
Laff: *sits down with Adrienne, Henriette, Anastasie, and Marie*
Anastasie: Tu nous a manqué, Papa.
Laff: *beams* Tu ma manqué aussie, ma cherie.
Theo: Hi, Marie!
Marie: *smiles* Hello, Theo.
Theo: Do you wanna go play, uh... Mr. Lafayette? Can you ask Marie if she wants to play with me?
Laff: Tu te souviens de Théo, non? Pourquoi ne vas-tu pas jouer avec elle?
Marie: *nods and eagerly runs off to play with Theo*
Patton: But wait! There's more! You order one family, I'll throw in a second one FREE!
[ENTER MARTHA, PATSY, AND POLLY JEFFERSON]
Jefferson: *shoots out of his seat, eyebrows raised* Martha?
Martha: *smiles* Hi, Thomas.
Jefferson: *runs over to kiss her*
Martha: Happy Fathers' Day, dear.
Patsy (18): *walks over holding Secretary Squishypaws on a leash*
Jefferson: *breaks into a grin* The family's all here!
Patsy: Happy Fathers' Day, Papa! *hugs him around the waist*
Jefferson: There's my girl. I missed you, too. *turns to Polly* Hi, Lamby! *kisses her cheek*
Polly (12): *hugs him* Hi, Father.
Jefferson: "Father?" Since when am I "Father?" I thought my name was Papa.
Polly: *shrugs* Father, I'm twelve now.
Jefferson: Oh, you're at that age, I see. Well, I hope you know you're always gonna be my little Lamby, whether you like it or not.
Polly: *hunches shoulders embarrassedly*
Patsy: I'll never be too old to call you Papa. *hugs Jefferson and smirks at Polly*
Polly: *shoots a glare at her*
Martha: Girls, girls, today is about your father. Let's make this easy for him, okay?
Jefferson: Just having you guys here is enough for me. *picks up Secretary Squishypaws and leads his family over to a table* You guys know James-
James: Nice to see you again, Martha, girls.
Jefferson: And this is Mr. Burr, and that... *tries to suppress and annoyed look* is Hamilton.
Hamilton: It's very nice to meet you. *stands up and politely kisses Martha's hand, then looks over at Patsy and Polly* These are your girls, huh? They're beautiful. You must be proud.
Jefferson: *grins* Oh, I am. *blinks* Wait... *looks over at Martha* Er, why don't you and the girls get settled in? I'm just going to talk to Hamilton for a minute. *pulls him aside* You're being strangely on your best behavior and it's frightening me. What's going on?
Hamilton: *shrugs* What? It's Fathers' Day. Today's a day for you to enjoy time with your family. I'm not going to ruin that for you! Besides, I have no quarrel with them. The fact that we don't get along is our business. It's not worth getting your family upset about.
Jefferson: Huh. Thank you... I think.
Hamilton: I must say, though, it is a little strange seeing you act... paternal.
Jefferson: I felt the same way about you when your son was born. But you're not as abysmal a father as I expected.
Hamilton: Same to you. I mean, I guess you wouldn't be the worst parent here. That'd probably be-
Patton: The surprises keep coming!
[ENTER CHARLOTTE FREDERICK AND PRINCESS AMELIA]
King George: Charlotte?!
Charlotte: George!
Hamilton: You have got to be kidding me.
King George: Out of the way, out of the way... *pushing through everyone to get to Charlotte* *once he finally gets to her, he stops and smiles. Not a smirk, not an insane smile, just genuine warmth* Hello, love.
Charlotte: *beaming* Hello, George.
King George: *caresses her hands in his and gently kisses them*
Peggy: King George?! You have feelings?!
King George: Well, of course I do, you miserable urchin!
Charlotte: *cups his cheeks in her hands and strokes them with her thumbs* Have you been taking your medicine everyday?
King George: Yes, Your Majesty. It's harder without you here to remind me, but I haven't forgotten in quite a while.
Charlotte: *smiles* Good.
Amelia (6): Papa! *stands properly, but smiles up at him*
King George: *beams down at her* Hello, my Emily! I've missed you very much. *looks at Charlotte* Your husband has done much while he was here. I've been swimming and singing and lots of other things very unbecoming of a king.
Charlotte: *laughs* Well, you're on vacation right now. You look good, though, you've gotten a lot of color, and you look so toned. And I almost didn't recognize you, you're wearing commoners' clothes!
King George: *laughs and looks down at his Union Jack t-shirt* It's quite comfortable, actually. *offers Charlotte his arm* Shall I show you around?
Charlotte: *takes his arm*
King George: *holds out his hand to Amelia*
Amelia: *takes his hand and walks alongside him*
[KING GEORGE, CHARLOTTE, AND AMELIA EXIT]
(Beat)
Hamilton: OKAY THAT WAS TERRIFYING
Patton: You know what's not terrifying? This!
[ENTER MARTHA AND THEODOSIA]
Theo: Mama!!! *runs over to hug her*
Theodosia: Hi, sweetie. *kisses her cheek* Where's your father?
Burr: Right here. *embraces Theodosia and kisses her* I can't believe you're here.
Theo: Yeah, I thought you hated camping.
Theodosia: Well, I couldn't spend Fathers' Day away from my family, could I? Aaron, you're the best husband and dad in the world, and I just want you to know that now and forever, I will be at your side.
Burr: And I will be at yours. *kisses her again*
Washington: Hello, Martha. What brings you here?
Martha: To see you, of course! *kisses him* I love you more than I could ever say, George Washington. You're my love, my partner, and my other half. No matter what life throws at us, we have handled it together, and we always will.
Washington: Where would I be without you? *kisses her cheek*
Patton: And we got one more surprise, and it's for *sings this part* The Schuyler Sisters!
Everyone: *shudders*
Eliza: *confused* Wait... us?
Patton: *grins and nods*
[ENTER PHILIP AND CATHERINE SCHUYLER]
Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy: *gasp and run over to them squealing*
Eliza: *wipes away tears as she hugs them* Papa! Mama! I... I can't believe you're here!
Peggy: *hugs Philip* DADDYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
Philip S.: *smiles* Hello, girls. It's so good to see you.
Philip: Grandpa! Grandma! *runs over to hug them*
Catherine: *stumbles back a little at the hug, then pats his head* Yes, it's been too long since we've seen this one. Next time we see him, he'll knock me over!
Angelica: It's so good to see you guys.
Peggy: I need to introduce you to John! JOHN! GET OVER HERE!
Laurens: *awkwardly walks over* Hi, I'm John. I'm the boyfriend.
Philip: Boyfriend, you say?
Laurens: *chuckles nervously*
Quinn: Alright, we're all gonna enjoy the rest of the day with our extended family. Have some food, play some games...
Philip: Ooh, maybe we can play some games where the kids are on teams with their dads and we all compete against each other!
Jefferson: Challenge accepted.
Patsy: We're so gonna win, right, Dad?
Jefferson: Absolutely! *looks over at Polly* What do you say, Lamby? You in?
Polly: ...Oh, alright.
Jefferson: *grins*
Quinn: Alright, I guess we've got some games to prepare! Happy Fathers' Day, everyone, and we'll see you next time on Hamilton Reacts to Stuff!
[A/N: Happy Fathers' Day to all the dads out there, including mine! Love you, Pa! Everyone tell your dads how much you love them today. See you soon!
Sincerely,
Quinn 💙]