SKY
The shower I had to take was cold because the heater was not working due to the power outage.
I needed to shower though, I swam in the lake and felt dirty because of the rain.
It was also to wash all of the sins I committed tonight.
Watching Alexander's eyes brighten when he spoke about our future together was a sin.
I was lying to him. Hiding the truth was lying, and it was hurtful to do.
My body was shivering hard due to the ice cold water, so I took that as a signal to get out.
I could picture Alexander waiting for me in the bed to make me warm, and it made me smile.
I quickly rubbed some lotion on, put on a big sweater and opened up the door.
Just thinking about seeing Alex made me smile, but that smile faded when I realized he wasn't there.
"Alex?" I called out, looking around my room. Nothing.
Taking off the towel on my head, I opened up my door and went out to look for him.
He wasn't in the bathroom, living room or kitchen.
I went back to my room, thinking that he was probably pulling a prank on me.
"Alex, I swear to god if you don't come out right now I'm gonna-" I began my threat but stopped when I saw what was on my bed.
My notebook that I wrote down all of my thoughts and secrets in, was open on my bed.
All I could hear was my heart beating at an unbelievable pace, my quick breaths and the gulps I was taking.
I walked over to it, realizing that it was that one page where I was talking about my secret I was hiding from Alexander.
His car wasn't anywhere in sight, so he really was gone.
I sat back down on the bed, looking at the storm outside.
I called Alexander at least a thousand times, hoping each time that he would actually pick up.
When I realized that there was no use, I gave up.
For hours, I just stared at the window. I didn't cry, yell or move. I just silently drowned in my own guilt, regret and silence.
My phone suddenly rang, and I didn't even look at the caller ID before answering. "Alex?!"
"Sky, this is Caroline." Caroline said, sounding so distressed and tired. "Is Alex going over there?"
"N-No. What's going on?" I could feel my head starting to get dizzy from the nervousness.
"We've had a rough night and he took a bottle of vodka before driving away. I'm really scared, Sky." She sounded like she's been stressed out for a long time.
"I-I think I know where he could be, I'll find him Caroline, don't worry." I reassured her.
She let out a sigh. "Thank you so much Sky. It means a lot."
"No problem." I hung up before getting up from my bed.
It had stopped raining so I put on some biker shorts under my big hoodie, putting the hoodie over my head, and quickly pulled on some sneakers.
Without the rain, I could skateboard all the way to one of the places where Alexander went when he was angry.
There were so many spots he had, so I didn't know why or how I ended up at the forest. It was dark as I walked in it, it smelled like that nice smell of earth after rain and I could hear some animals in this forest.
"Alex? Alex?" I called out, stepping over branches and walking faster.
I heard his faint voice. The more I followed it, the more I heard some words that he was saying. He said my name, his fathers name and 'Betrayal".
"Alex." I was close enough for him to hear me.
When he turned around, the first thing I saw was his eyes. The irises were dark, but the skin surrounding his eyes was red and puffy. The next thing I noticed was his messy hair. It looked like he had ran his hands through it multiple time. I then saw the blood stains down his white dress shirt.
He was still wearing his pants dress pants and dress shoes. But the vest he had on was gone, the dress shirt's first few buttons were unbuttoned and his yellow tie was loosely hanging around the back of his neck.
"Skyler." His eyes darkened even more as he realized that it was me. "What are you doing here?"
"W-What happened?"
"Nothing. Go home." He shrugged me off. His coldness hurt a deep part in me, but I knew he had the right to act this way.
"Alexander, can you please talk to me?"
"Sky, for once in your fucking life listen to me. Go the fuck home, I don't want to see your fucking face." He spat at me, attacking my heart with his harsh words.
I sighed. "Fine, I'll go. I hope I don't run into the same guys that were yelling at me on the way here." I lied, using his protectiveness against him.
He snapped his head bac, looking at me from over his shoulder. He silently watched me before looking away and taking a sip of his half done bottle.
"Alex. . ." I took a step towards him and he groaned. "I'm really fucking sorry."
"Sorry for what?" He scoffed. "Lying to my face or not wanting to come to Virginia with me."
Hearing him say it out loud sounded much worse than it did inside. Inside, I had justifications for my wants.
"Both. I'm sorry, Alexander." I apologized, wiping my tears.
He looked back at me. His eyes softened slightly before they darkened again and he took a big sip of his drink.
"Stop drinking. Please." I begged. I knew that the amount he drank was absolutely unhealthy, and I want afraid of something happening to him if he drank a little too much.
"Why? Do you want some?" He slurred, walking closer to me.
I didn't know why I was suddenly afraid of his closeness.
"No." I crossed my arms.
Alexander groaned. "Can you take that fucking stick out of your ass for once and have a drink?"
I was appalled by the way he was talking to me, but I knew it was only because he was drunk. At least I hoped it was only because he was drunk.
"Just one drink, baby." He grabbed my face harshly with his hand and started to pour the vodka in my mouth.
I pushed him away and spat it out. He just laughed at me.
"So fucking sexy." He mumbled while looking at me up and down. "Have I ever told you that?"
Alexander let out one chuckle before taking a big sip of his vodka. I took matters into my own hands and took the bottle from his hands.
He watched me pour every last drop on the wet green eyes because I let the bottle fall and crack on a rock. His eyes stared at the glass pieces before he looked at me.
He grabbed my arm forcefully. "Why the fuck would you do that?"
I was sincerely afraid, but I refused to show him that he was intimidating me. "Because I don't want you to fucking die from alcohol poisoning."
Something flashed into his eyes as I said that. He let go of my arm but stayed there, a few centimetres away from me and staring me down.
"Like father like son." He laughed.
"What?" My heart started to beat even faster.
"My father's fucking dead." He continued to laugh like it was funny.
My heart fell because of him. Not only did I hurt him by hiding a secret from him, but his father was dead.
Every time I would come over and I saw Steven, it always made me smile. He was different than the first night I met him.
I could see it in Alex's eyes too. He tried to say that he still hated him, but I could see the blue part of his eyes light up when he came by.
Yesterday before prom, he was at the house. There was no way to describe the smile Alex had on when Steven patted his back and told him, I'm proud of you
"I-I'm sorry Alex." I tried not to cry, because it wasn't my place to cry over his father's death.
"What are you sorry for? I told you I'm glad he's out of our lives for good." He stumbled back.
Even though he was saying that, I could see his eyes becoming glossy from afar.
"We need to talk about this." I told him. I knew what I needed to do for him not to go crazy when something like this happened.
"Shut up, Sky. You talk too fucking much, just shut up." He groaned, sitting down on a large rock. "You let me fucking talk to you about living my life with you all night, when you knew you wouldn't come to Virginia with me. You're a fucking liar, Sky."
"I-I can't tell you how sorry I am." I sobbed.
"The only thing I'll miss is fucking you whenever I want." He spat.
I stayed silent, completely shocked by his words. He's drunk, Sky. That's why he's saying this.
He looked back and me and watched my saddened expression. "What? You think you were the one to change me? You think you're the only girl I said I love you to? You're not, Sky. The only thing different about you is how fucking good your pussy is."
"Y-You don't mean that." I said, feeling hurt.
He scoffed and picked up a rock to throw it into the grass. I stood there, trying to recollect myself before I could speak again.
If I knew this was going to be the outcome, I would've never hid it from him. I wouldn't have wrote it in my diary, hell, I wouldn't have even applied to another university. I applied for school when he had betrayed me, and I realized that I was on my own in this world.
"I'll go to Virginia with you." I told him, not giving it a second thought.
I thought it would all work out for us, but it wouldn't in the way that I thought, so the only choice I had left was going to Virginia with him.
"Go home, Sky." He completely ignored my words of commitment to him.
I walked up to him, looking down at him. "I mean it. I'll go to Virginia with you. I don't care about Seattle, I just want to be with you."
His eyes stayed angry and red. Alex looked like a evil man as he stood up to his full height.
"We're done, Sky." He said, but the words went over my head because I was determined to make this work.
"Alex, I-"
"Sky!" He stopped my speech. "I. Don't. Want. You. . . Leave." He said coldly.
It was his eyes and the feeling in my heart that told me that this was really over.
Like credits rolling down the screen after a movie, we were over.
I looked up at him, giving him one last glance of despair, but the Antarctica blue stayed in his eyes.
Almost as if I was running from a monster, I ran away from him.
I got on my skateboard and cried all the way to my house.
The sun was coming up when I arrived. I got in my bed and fell asleep to crying over the picture I had of him on my nightstand.