Sunday, 1:04 P.M.
"Are you gonna tell her when you get there that you're not interested in following up? Or before the meeting?" Rob asks as he turns onto the highway heading for downtown Philadelphia. I can tell it's just for the sake of conversation- all morning he seemed some type of.. nervous?
"Probably before the meeting.." I say half mindedly as I finish setting up the phone we'd just picked up from Franklin Mills Mall. "I don't want her to base her interactions for the day off that decision, so.."
Rob nods his head, white knuckling the steering wheel as he stares hard onto the road. I can't help but laugh to myself as I peep him- it's like he took all of the nervousness for the both of us!
When I entered this contest, I'd fantisize about winning. Fantasized, because I'd never thought it'd actually happen! I'd imagine if it did though, and I always thought I'd be a big ball of nerves meeting Harlee Gold.
I mean- it's Harlee Gold.
Here I am though! Less than an hour away from getting to spend a whole freaking day with her because I sang a cover of her song well enough to apparently intrigue her! ...and I'm cool as a cucumber.
"You know, you'd think you're the one going to meet a fucking celebrity you looked up to since you were a kid, the way you're acting!" I laugh, turning to face Rob just to motion to his stiff posture and clenched hands.
He glances over to me for a moment, forcing a laugh before loosening up and laughing for real. "Honestly?" he says after a moment, his tone familiar only from the past couple of days with him. "You make me nervous as hell."
This catches me off guard for a moment, and I can feel my chest tighten as soon as the words make their way to my ears. I.. make him nervous?
My mind instantly questions how I do that. Did I just get the confirmation I've been looking for since the day I told Evelyn that Rob liked me on the swings?
"W-what do you mean?" I stammer, my mind running a mile a minute as it tries to twist and untwist his words.
Rob glances over at me again as if to question my sudden demeanor change, and then quickly responds. "You're so unpredictable, kiddo... I have to prepare for the worst with this whole thing- Dane shouldn't have allowed this one..." he says sounding strained and just overall on edge. "I'm not trying to be a dick again, I'm really not- but I don't think you realize what's resting on your shoulders right now. I don't like it. Dane will... lose his mind if you leave him now- and we'll all take the fall for it."
I try not to let my jaw physically fall open in surprise, and I try not to let the disappointed feeling overcoming my body affect my mind. Instead, I roll my eyes and turn to face the window instead.
"Nothing is resting on my shoulders, Rob... " I say after a moment, watching the woods of Bensalem turn into the tall buildings of Philadelphia right outside of my window. I don't know how else to respond. If I said half of the things I wanted- I'd only give him more of a reason to worry. "And you know I already said I'd decline, so. Loosen up, okay?"
Rob's eyebrows flatten, though his eyes never leave the road. I can tell my response didn't ease any of the anxiety I apparently cause him- but there's really nothing else I can do except show everybody.