We finally learn something we've been eager to know in this chapter...
Jaxyl
It's been one week and Darius is still gone.
Lately, I've been more and more stressed. I'm worrying about him, Naya, and the trackers I sent after them. I'm worried about their safety and how this whole ordeal may affect the pack.
The only thing keeping me sane is the comfort of my boyfriend and my son. I've yet to figure out a way to get him here without anyone detecting he's mine. I feel terrible about how I've lied to everyone about him and even worse when I think about what kind of mother I'm being.
How do I make up for it? How would I go about it? Just bring him to everyone's doorstep saying, "Hey, I lied to everyone and actually went to obedient school so I could keep my pregnancy a secret, but here's my son."
That wouldn't go over well. Although I'm alpha, I still care about how my family and friends would feel, and how my pack members would perceive me.
I feel as if I'm screwing up as Alpha already.
"Whatever you're thinking about, stop." Adarian sat next to me, taking me out of my daze.
"I can't."
"Still worrying yourself to death?" he questions. I nod, releasing a heavy breath.
"Am I doing bad?" I ask. "As an alpha."
"No," he answers immediately. "Every alpha faces challenges whether they've just got on the scene or have been alpha for years. It's not about the situation, it's how you choose to handle it. The decisions you've made were all in the best interest of your pack members."
"Honest?"
"That's my honest answer."
His encouraging words provided me little reassurance but it was enough to make me feel better and focus my attention elsewhere. He lazily threw his arm around me, hugging me to his side--kissing my forehead in the process.
It's small actions like this that make me fall deeper for him everyday. It didn't take me long to recognize the familiarity of those feelings either. They're the same feelings I felt when I fell hard and bumped my head on Bryce.
I don't know why I was so blind when it came to Bryce. Maybe it was excitement or infatuation with the fact that I'd met my mate and he was, at that time, everything I'd wanted and all mine.
In reality, he was never mine. He waited until the perfect time to turn on me. I now realize how naïve I was, but I can't blame myself. I was only fifteen when we'd met.
With Adarian, I'm experiencing an entire new meaning of happiness, respect, loyalty, and perhaps...love.
I glance at him with a shy smile. I have never given the L word any thought until now.
"What?" he questions,
"Nothing."
I felt the urge to blurt out "love you" but I shook my head, snatching the remote from him and changing the TV channel.
Neither of us has said it before. I know he loves me, but is he in love with me? I don't want to make the same mistakes
"So you don't care about what I wanted to watch?"
"Please, the only time you're actually giving this thing some genuine attention is when an interesting movie is playing. You only sat here for my company."
"You just have me all figured out, huh?" he smirks and rises.
"Where are you going?"
"To my room," he replies while walking away.
Lately, he's been spending quite a bit of time in there. He'll stay closed in for a few hours, come out and eat, entertain me, then go right back in. I don't pry in his business because frankly I don't have time to.
Despite us sharing the same sheets now, he'll occasionally fall asleep in his room. I've never made a fuss about it because he can sleep wherever he pleases but I prefer him next to me.
I want to ask what he does in there but I don't want to seem as if I'm prying. Then again, this is my house.
Maybe I should just leave it alone. This isn't the time to be adding anymore stress to my life. I'll pry later. In the meantime, I should get started on dinner.
Adarian's mind link was blocked so I walked upstairs to ask what he'd like to eat.
"Hey," I knock on the door. I heard scrambling on the other side before he opened it. "Yeah?"
From my peripheral view, I noticed papers sticking out of his desk drawer and a red, uncapped marker laying on the surface of the desk.
"What do you want to eat tonight?" I ask.
"Um," he pretends to think. "It doesn't matter," he shrugs. "I'm fine with whatever you make."
I should make something he doesn't like on purpose.
"Okay," I eye him warily. "If you're still up here, I'll yell instead of interrupting whatever you're doing."
He gives me an uneasy smile, "Yeah, okay."
With one last look I turned away and went downstairs to start cooking. He was definitely acting weird, which is odd behavior for him.
For his sake, I'd hate for him to disappoint me.
"Is there a reason you wanted me to be your plus one today?" I ask my mom.
"Can't a mother want to spend quality time with her daughter?" I shrug and get into the car.
Usually, Saryn tags along with her to run errands. I've been so busy that I haven't spent much time with either member of my family.
I glance over at the faint smile she's wearing on her face. I notice how she sighs every few seconds while drumming her fingers along the steering wheel. I know my mother well enough to know what that means.
"What is it?" I ask.
"What?" she frowns.
"You want to say something," I state.
She stole a quick, defeated glance in my direction. "I'm just curious about a few things, that's all."
"Okay..." I know this conversation is about to head somewhere I don't want it to.
"Your relationship," she begins. "I see that you're happy and in love?"
"I guess you can say that."
"You're not worried about how it would interfere with you meeting your mate?" she asks, making my breath hitch.
I never told my parents or anyone in my family about Bryce. I don't know why I didn't. I guess I was too infatuated with him when we first met to even think about anyone else. Eventually, I was glad that I didn't because meeting him soon felt like the worse thing to ever happen to me.
"No."
"Why not?"
In a second, I thought of all the possible lies I could come up with but I didn't want to lie to her anymore than I already have.
I suck in a huge breath of air, preparing myself to tell the truth. "Because my mate doesn't want me."
A frown appears on her face and she immediately slows the car down and pulls over.
"Your mate doesn't want you?" she questions. "Why the hell not?"
"Well," I pause. "I guess I'll start from the beginning." I start to recall the night my mate caused me to experience my first heartbreak...
I slam my phone down onto the table after my tenth time calling Bryce's phone.
We were supposed to meet here in the courtyard almost an hour ago and he has yet to show up.
Before I left my room, I texted him to make sure we were still on for our run--which we aren't supposed to be doing at this hour--and I received a response confirming that.
Needless to say, I'm fucking pissed.
I call him once more, still receiving no answer. If he wants to stand me up then I'm going to go find out why. I rise from the bench, stomping my way to his dormitory building.
I gave the door three hard angry knocks.
After what felt like an eternity, it finally opened to reveal not Bryce but his future Beta, Nathan or Nate--as everyone calls him. He looked surprised to see me but I also noticed the uneasiness rolling off of him.
"Where the fuck is Bryce?"
"Um, he's in his room," he answers hesitantly.
"Great," I try to step through the door but Nate was quick to stop me.
"Wait," he gulps.
I frown, already frustrated with him, "Move." Instead of doing as I demand, he stands in my way, unmoving.
"What?" I ask him.
He's staring at me with a conflicted, sympathetic expression. It was then I finally heard. Before, I was deafened by anger to hear it.
I take a deep breath and make my way to Bryce's room, wasting no time throwing the door open.
All I can do is stare--at him, at her, both in their naked glory while my heart is being shattered.
Instead of seeing a surprised or even guilty expression on his face, I saw nothing but a cocky smirk.
"How could you?" I ask. "Don't you have anything to say?" I walk closer to the bed.
"I'm sorry?" he shrugs, making the little bitch next to him giggle.
My eyes shift to her, feeling nothing but anger and disgust as she laid next to my mate. Before I could stop myself, my hand connects with her cheek. She shrieks, scrambling as far away from me as the bed would let her.
And she's supposed to be some type of leader someday...
"Whoa!" Bryce grabs my arm. "Babe, if you're not going to join us then you need to leave," he tells me.
"Are you fucking serious?" I yell. "I'm your mate, Bryce!"
"Why are you doing this?" I ask since he seems to have nothing to say.
"Can you relax?" he asks with an incredulous look. "Geez, I haven't touched another girl since we've been together. Not until tonight."
Does he think that's supposed to make me feel better?
Anger rose once again, along with another crushing feeling that I refused to let show.
"So you don't feel an ounce of guilt about what you've done?" I ask. He looks at me with a blank expression.
"No," he simply answers and climbs back into his bed.
One second, I was standing completely still. The next--I was punching him square in the face.
"What the hell, Jaxyl?" he looks flabbergasted.
One blow wasn't good enough for me. The pain I'm feeling right now, I want to inflict upon him. So, I didn't stop. I kept hitting him over and over again while he tried to deflect my attacks.
I'm his mate and he just treated me like absolute trash--as if I mean nothing to him.
I felt someone trying to pry me off of my mate but I didn't care to find out who. My only focus is hurting this piece of shit.
"Jaxyl, come on." I recognize the voice as Darius'. Why is he here?
"No!" I struggled against his grip. "Let me hurt him!"
"Jax, he's not worth it!" Darius tries reasoning with me, but I wasn't hearing any of it.
Using all of his strength, Darius swiftly lifts me up and carries me out of the room.
I held eye contact with Bryce, hoping, wishing, and praying for any type of remorse but there was none. Instead he wore a mean, aggravated scowl as he wiped the blood from his lip.
He truly did not care.
Darius didn't put me down until I was calm. Once my breathing went back to normal, and I was able to think clearly, the tears started to fall.
I couldn't help but sob into my best friend's chest as I felt my heart breaking. Never have I felt pain like this in my life.
My heart is broken.
My soulmate broke my heart.
7 Steps to Heal a Broken Heart:
1. Take your time
2. Good Grief
3. Become anti-social
4. Try Mindfulness
5. Date Yourself
6. Remember Why You Broke Up
7. Find Therapy
For anyone of you dealing with heartbreak 😢💔 Here is the article to read more. 👇
Link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-dynamics-love/201902/7-steps-heal-broken-heart
| AUTHOR NOTE |
Yay! Now we know why Jaxyl and Bryce broke up all those years ago. BUT we still don't know why Bryce has treated her so wrong. Stay tuned...
| DISCLAIMER |
I do not claim nor own rights to the images/media/articles presented in this chapter.
All credit is given to original authors.