'You haven't spoken to me for three days.' Sitting across from Harlow in the bunker it was as though we were having a face off. Legs hunched up to her chest, she leant her head on her knee and looked at me lazily. Living with her had almost become a chore. One day all she would crave was to be close to me but the next she'd lash out and berate me. Some days she'd repeatedly beg me for sex. Others she would sit in silence consumed by her thoughts. Today was the latter. She blinked at me slowly, raising her head upright with what seemed like great effort.
'How do you do it?' Voice barely a whisper, she awaited my response.
'Do what?' My legs were outstretched, ankles crossed and fingers steepled in my lap.
'You're arguably the most sadistic son of a bitch I've ever known. How do you live with everything you've done? All the people you've killed? All the hurt you've caused? Tell me how you do it.' Dark bags hung under her normally bright green eyes. A pressing sense of exhaustion appeared to be squeezing the life out of her. Mulling over the accusations she had thrown out for a second, I pressed my fingertips together harder.
'I purged people of their sins. I gave them what they deserved.' The words came out as a recital, exactly the way Joseph had taught me. Harlow raised her eyebrow imperceptibly. 'I did what I had to do to survive.' The slight shrug of my shoulders made her jaw clench.
'You act like you have no regrets about what you did to those people. What you did to me.' Pulling her knees down, she unveiled the scarring that was emblazoned across her chest.
WRATH
Her black bra almost framed it like a pretty painting but one strap hung loosely off of her shoulder, ruining the illusion.
'I live without regrets. It's easier.'
'So you don't feel any guilt for beating me? For carving this bullshit into my skin? For harming my closest friends?' Fire was brewing in her stomach, threatening to explode out of her mouth like a heated dragon.
'That depends. Do you feel guilty for allowing Faith to drown herself? For ladening my eldest brother's body with bullets until he died all alone? For murdering mothers and fathers, husbands and wives who had a different opinion to you all in the name of your resistance?' Unlike her I was calm and collected. I knew what I was. I knew what I'd done. She, on the other hand, couldn't hack it. Couldn't live with the fact that she too had killed people all in the name of a biased cause.
'I hate you.' She spat the word, intending for it to wound me.
'No you don't.' My response was cool and rolled off my tongue with such ease that she recoiled in annoyance. 'There's at least five weapons in here. If you hated me that much you would've killed me by now.' At my words, Harlow reached up to the shelves beside her and wrenched a sharp knife into her hand. Getting to her feet, she strode towards me and stood over my sitting body. Bathed in her shadow, I titled my chin up and goaded her. 'Go on then.' Wielding the blade, conflict flashed across her face. Cocking my head at her, I watched her turn away. 'That's what I thought.'
'You did this to me. You made me weak.' She growled over her shoulder.
'You sound like Jacob.' I chuckled lightly and she whirled on me.
'You! You were never a part of my plan!' She seethed, pointing the blade at my throat. 'You ruined everything for me!'
'Sweetheart, you didn't have a plan to begin with.' The roll of my eyes and condescending tone in my voice sent her into a frenzy. Cans of soup flew past my face. Shelving was toppled onto the ground. The knife was used to split open the pillows on the bed. I could only assume she was imagining that the fabric was my stomach and the feathers my blood. Throughout it all I remained sat in the same spot, patiently waiting for her to finish. Eventually Harlow collapsed to her knees, breathing harsh and erratic. 'Are you quite finished Wrath?'
Maybe she left because of those days in the bunker? Perhaps she left because she finally had a chance to escape me? Lying on top of my bed I stared at the pitch black ceiling. I wasn't in the mood for sleeping. My mind was too alive with thoughts of Harlow framed with Lara's aggressive monologue that had occurred just minutes earlier.
'Life can be so fucking unfair huh old man?' My radio came alive on my desk. Blood running cold at the voice, I stiffened. 'You're wasting potential with these people. Come meet us at The Inquisitor's Grave, you know the way. We got a deal for you.' The green light from the screen buzzed out and I lay there motionless. Those fucking twins. They wanted me to bite.
***
Hands deep in my bomber jacket pockets, I trudged up the hill. Stars sparkled against the navy sky, auroras spanning across the vast expanse.
'Well I'll be, you actually fucking showed!' Mickey sat ahead of me. One of her legs dangled into the deep hole of what was once the silo of my bunker. The other rested at a right angle on the floor, her arm dangling off her knee. Lou stood atop what had once been an extractor fan to flow clean air underground, her arms neatly folded across the pink vest that encased her chest.
'What sort of man would I be to refuse the company of you two lovely ladies on such a fine evening.' A thin smile spread beneath my beard. I had to tread carefully here.
'So you musta heard we killed your precious Thomas Rush.' Mickey's fingers danced a little in the air. 'It was so magical.'
'Blowin' brains out always is.' A blissful grin etched menacingly across Lou's face. That was definitely a threat.
'You win some you lose some.' I retorted playfully.
'You seem quite chipper considering we got ya rabbit too. Pushed her straight out of a ten story window.' Mickey's eyes narrowed at me, trying to read my expression. They thought that Lara was dead. Feigning a flicker of sadness, I rubbed the back of my neck in an agitated manner.
'What do you want?' I finalised, looking back up at them intensely.
'You are a talented man John Seed.' Mickey got to her feet, standing up tall in front of me. 'We know all about you and the little operation you ran around here. Impressive stuff. Shame to see you go to waste down there in that den of losers.'
'That was a long time ago.' Clenching my teeth, I felt Mickey prod me in the chest.
'Don't you remember how it felt to have the power? To be the winner? You could do anything you wanted, be anything you wanted. You were a loose cannon just like Lou.' Gesturing to her sister over her shoulder, Mickey gave me a cool and calculated gaze. 'Unpredictability. It's a gift.' Mulling over her words, I felt something that was normally repressed stir inside me. How long had it been since I'd held a head underwater? Peeled skin from someone's chest? Heard the incessant chanting of the word 'Yes'? My mouth grew dry and Mickey's eyes glinted with anticipation and realisation. 'You miss it.'
'I-'
'We can give it all back to you. All we need is a little favour. Y'know, you scratch our back then we scratch yours?' Mickey shoved me gently before beginning to pace in front of me. Lou had moved to the rim of the silo, tip-toeing around the edge like she was on a tightrope.
'I'm listening.' Flicking my tongue over my lips, I kept my gaze fixed on Mickey.
'Your rabbit, she got some kinda powers from that old brother of yours. We need that and you are our perfect in.' I caught Lou in the corner of my eye suddenly advancing out of nowhere. 'Get Joseph to tell you how to harness it and we'll give you whatever you desire.' Mickey stared at me expectantly as Lou cracked her knuckles. The younger of the two girls reminded me so much of myself. Her behaviour was erratic, fuelled by anger and sadism. Mickey on the other hand, by God was she like Jacob. Calculating and calm in any situation. Her way with words could make even the strongest warrior buckle at the knees and surrender.
'So what's it gonna be old man? You in or you out?' Lou pounded a fist gently into her palm as she eyed me. It would be nice to have it all again. The fame. The fear. The power. Thousands of people bowing in pure terror at my presence.
'When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.'
My words to Harlow when I'd first taken her to the ranch echoed in my head. Her blood-drained face from a ride in Affirmation. Her light-hearted chuckles and the sarcasm that radiated from her mouth with every other word. The way she'd let the edge of her tongue peep out of her mouth when she was concentrating. Her whines of pleasure when I fucked her. The deep green hue of her irises. How she'd stalk off to hide when she was upset like a wounded animal. When she'd shoot an arrow with such precision it whistled through the air without a sound. The way she could go from slapping me viciously to softly massaging my skin with her fingertips in seconds. Her. Everything was about her. This wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth it to lose her. Raising my palms, I backed away from the twins.
'No can do.' Saluting a few fingers from my forehead, I turned on my heel and strode away from them.
'You're making a big fucking mistake!' Mickey called after me and I simply let out a hearty laugh into the night air.
'Unpredictability. It's a gift.' A sly grin spreading across my face, I slunk into the shadows of the forest away from the twins. I still had it.