Color of My Pain

By dramahazard22

10K 818 236

Sore=Mauve Burn=Orange Ache=Murky Brown Sting=Red Stab=Maroon Hit=Black Cut=Silver Sick=Green Fear=White Worr... More

1| Pink
2| Brown
3| Black
4| White
5| Lavender
7| Silver
8| Blue
9| Lavender
10| Yellow
11| Malachite
12| Teal
13| Overflow
14| Gamboge
15| New Spectrums
16| New Plans
17| Fresh Air
18|
19|
20|
21| Golden
22| White
23|
24|
25| Endurance
26| The Past
27| The Truth?
28| Secret Mission
29| tmi
30| Lavender
31| Fever
32| In the Open
33| Weathering Together
34| A New Color
35|
36|
37|

6| Black

420 35 8
By dramahazard22

Hoseok tried to drown the lavender in music. He tried to make awkward conversation with Jimin. He really wanted to talk to Joon. But Namjoon had opted out of his shotgun throne to sit in the back with Jin.

So, Hobi had upset Seokjin. And Jin was going to sleepover too now. And Hobi honestly didn't want to deal with that. He dropped Jimin off and then waited in the car for Jin to get some overnight things.

"Joon is he actually upset?" Hoseok breathed as the eldest disappeared inside.

"He just doesn't like the fact that we held hands. He doesn't understand, he... He's not happy that I won't explain it to him."

"You won't?"

"Hobi." Joon's tone was almost reprimanding. "Just because Seokjin is my soulmate, he doesn't have the right to know all of my best friend's business." He sighed. "There are boundaries."

Jin hopped back into the car. "So we're talking about boundaries now? Good."

"Jin."

"What?"

"I'm talking about best friend boundaries that I won't cross. Even for you."

A soft smile chased the lavender from Hobi's mind, but an unfortunately timed huff brought it back.

Hoseok pulled into his driveway and the trio marched in awkward silence into Namjoon's home one door down. Namjoon's parents weren't home, so Hobi went straight upstairs to Joon's room and dropped his bag on the floor.

"Don't you dare!" Namjoon ordered.

With a groan, Hobi pulled his leg back into the room, pouting at the open window through which he'd planned to escape.

"It's not a best friend sleepover if your boyfriend is here." He muttered bitterly. Hobi wasn't sure if he was being unfair or not, but he was salty af that Jin was crashing.

_______________________________

"Keys." Joon demanded. "I forgot to stop for snacks."

He tossed the elder the keys and taped up the streamer he was holding. Namseok had decorated the house to their liking while Jin baked in the kitchen. Namjoon fumbled for the keys and practically bolted to escape the tension.

Hobi was feeling mopey. He had nothing productive to do and Namjoon had his house keys. Plus, his bedroom window was closed. He dragged himself to the kitchen, dreading the conversation he felt obligated to initiate. He sank into a wooden chair, willing himself to shrink up into nothing.

"So..." he sighed.

"Hello." Jin said.

"Yeah, I don't know how to start conversations."

"Well, I-"

"What are you upset over?" Hobi asked pointedly, realizing this was the fastest way to get past this.

"For one: He worries about you. A lot. And you hold hands." Jin stopped to pull some cookies from the oven. "I don't like it when you hold hands."

"You said that, yea."

"Well, it bothers me. It's like it makes you both feel better. He worries less and you handle, whatever, better."

"That's how a supportive friendship works." Hobi argued. "You draw strength from each other."

"No. That's how dating works." Jin disagreed with a hand on his hip.

"But we aren't even soulmates!"

"My uncle's soulmate left him. Well, he refused to be with him.

"Why?"

"It's not something he ever talks about."

"Well I want my soulmate and Namjoon wants you!" Hobi shouted.

"But where is your soulmate? You don't know." Jin jabbed an accusing finger in Hobi's direction.

Hoseok was out of his chair like a shot. "My soulmate is that way." He pointed. "I have to wait 8 months, 6 days, and 16 hours until I'm allowed to go after him."

Jin didn't say anything.

"You're lucky enough to have him come right to you and you're upset that we're close?"

Mauve coated Hoseok's throat. Shouting wouldn't help anymore anyway. He'd said all he had in him.

"I'm sorry. I guess it's just, well, I don't want him to leave me." Jin admitted softly.

"Kim Namjoon will never leave. Even if you wanted him too. That's why he's still my friend. He's that loyal." Hobi's voice came out soft and raw.

"I like that about him."

"A-are we okay?"

"Yes. I'm sorry I was being such an ass."

"I'm sorry for yelling at you. I was rude."

"Nah, I deserved it." Jin laughed slightly.

There was a hug. And Jin pulled away puzzled. "Hasn't Joon been out awhile?"

"He's hoping for us to sort us out, or he can't decide what to buy. Maybe both. I'm going to shower."

The moon rose high in the sky, battling its way ever upwards and conquering the disk that had looked over Jinseok's exchange.

Hearing Hobi on the stairs, Jin called out to him, voice unsteady with laughter, "It was both. He's bringing home pizza."

With a laugh of his own Hobi nodded. "Sounds about ri-"

A jolt of white. A torrent of black on his arms, legs, and chest.

Hoseok stumbled, catching himself on the railing. "H-how soon?" He managed , trying to keep his voice light and steady.

But Jin had heard him stumble and had come to check on him. "Hoseok?"

Hobi could barely see. There were so many colors. Way too many. Hobi couldn't stop the lavender that seeped into the barrage like water absorbed by a sponge. He couldn't hold back the tears that surfaced in his eyes and spilled down his cheeks.

Twice.

In one day.

So much worse than this morning.

Hobi couldn't protest when Jin carefully guided him down the stairs and to the living room. "Can you tell me what's happening Hoseok? Should I call Joon? Your parents?"

"Don't call them." Hobi choked out. "H-he's hurting. He's hurting so bad."

He curled up as small as he could, as if it would shield his baby from the onslaught of pain. The black still swirled beneath his skin, but now it was mixing with brown aches of areas no longer being hurt.

Hoseok barely registered Seokjin hugging him close, rubbing circles in his back and covertly sending Namjoon a text to hurry, they were hungry.

Namjoon trundled in, loaded with bags of snacks and sodas and carrying three pizza boxes. "I BRING YOU FOOD!"

Jin shot him a desperate glare and helped Joon put everything down. Hoseok practically flew into Namjoon's open arms. It was there that he sobbed freely, incoherently wailing his worries against Namjoon's shoulder. And Namjoon was his rock. He whispered exactly what Hoseok needed to hear in this moment. This moment that scratched at his heart and tortured his guilty soul. It wasn't his fault. He would find him soon. They would find Hoseok's soulmate a better home. A loving one. Finally, an eternity later, the black receded, pushed away by the ride of brown aches that attacked Hoseok's lover.

"I-it's over now." Hobi hiccuped.

"Ya'know?" Namjoon smiled. "I was going to wait til it was just us, but I think this is an emergency."

Namjoon raced upstairs and back, a sleek black container in tow. He sat on the floor in front of the vcr and presented the contents to Hobi with an unprecedented flourish. All three How To Train Your Dragon movies gleamed up at him.

"We're watching all of them." Namjoon stated in a tone that warranted no arguments.

Jin brought out plates and they all stuffed their faces with pizza and the snacks Namjoon had purchased. Hobi was trying not to worry. The lavender he endured faded as the brown subsided, but he knew very well that his baby would be bruised.

At some point, a pack of twizzlers was hurled at Hobi's head and blacked blossomed at the point of impact.

"Bro." Hobi scolded them, laughing to ease his partner's worry.

The night recovered itself of all awkward interactions and Hoseok was actually enjoying himself with Jin.

They fell asleep halfway through the second movie. Hobi was sprawled uncomfortably across the arms of the chair and NamJin were cozily spooning on the couch.

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