25 // do anything, be anything.
Wrens P.O.V
I swirled the clear bubbly drink around the plastic cup I held. Annoyingly loud pop music streamed through the speakers filling my ears. People, most of them strangers to me, talked and mingled around. Everyone looked happy and oblivious to the absence of the mom to be, Shawna and her surrogate, Lesra. Everyone except me.
My jaw tightened and my hand clenched on to the arm rest of the wooden chair.
Lesra usually took her time when she needed to use the bathroom, more so now since she was very pregnant. However, this, was a new record.
Over the annoyingly loud music, a blood curdling scream that was a horrific tune in its self echoed throughout the backyard.
I was up and my hand had lost its grasp from the cup I held not more than a few seconds ago. I pushed my way through the crowds of people, all of their heads were whipped towards the direction of the house. I felt like I was in a never ending maze, their still bodies were like pillars.
Lesra
She was all I could think about as I finally made it to the backdoor of the house. I busted it open and looked everywhere until my eyes landed on the girl with multicolored hair who was running towards me.
I didn't like her one bit but the horrid facial expression she wore and the black streaks running down her face was enough for me to put the hatred to the side and be overcome by another emotion; fear.
"She's..she's..I..," She bawled. She pointed towards the front of the house before falling to the ground.
I passed her quickly until I was in the middle of the spacious foyer. My heart stopped beating rapidly, stopped beating all together, once my eyes landed on her still form sprawled out on the marble floor. I looked up the grand stairs and then back down at her lifeless body. Instantly, everything had clicked. She had fallen down the stairs.
"No no no no no," I muttered as I slid next to her and got down on the floor. "Lesra?" I caressed her cheek. "Lesra," I murmured again. I picked her head up and laid it in my lap. I could feel a wet slipperiness on my arm that was coming from underneath her head.
"Lesra, open your eyes," I pleaded. All color had been drained from her face. Her eyes were closed tightly and her lips were slightly parted. I leaned my ear in closer and an ounce of fear left me when I could hear her staggered breathing.
However, that fear and a shit ton more hit me like a bag of bricks once the raw coppery smell wafted into my nostrils. I looked away from her expressionless face and down her white dress to the large red spot that didn't belong there. The blood was seeping through her dress right underneath her round stomach and had begun to create a puddle of its own right underneath her.
My hands shook.
My child was in there.
What the hell was happening?
I could hear the murmurs of spectators around us but I didn't dare look up at them as I yelled. "Someone call an ambulance!"
From behind me, I could hear a lady shuffle around in her purse and then the three dings on her phone.
"Lesra," I murmured again in hopes that she'd open her eyes at least. To my avail, there was nothing from her. "I love you, Lesra," I said to her. Just moments ago I'd said the exact same words to her and she replied by telling me the same thing. But now, nothing.
"I love you, please wake up," I pleaded. "I need you to wake up Lesra, please," the desperation was clear in the way my voice shook but I didn't care.
I pulled her head closer to my chest and laid my hand on top of her hand that was protectively wrapped around her stomach.
I put my ear to her parted lips again. Her breathing becoming more shallow by the second. I knew I was losing her and I began to panic. My Lesra, the most beautiful work of art. I didn't want to think of what life would be like if she died right there, in my arms.
My eyes went back down to her stomach and all of the blood that had begun to collect on top of the pristine white floors. Her dress was an ombre affect of white to red. There was too much of it, too much blood. I wasn't a doctor, but I knew that that the amount of the red liquid was excessive. Not only that, but I knew where it was coming from. Not only was Lesra dying, but my daughter, the same one I had watched grow from the outside was too.
"Where's the fucking ambulance?" I bellowed. I hated how everyone stood around watching.
"God help us," I choked out. I wasn't a very religious man, but my parents were. I didn't deserve God's assistance after all the things I'd done in my past, but as if God had heard my cry for help, in came two EMT's.
The crowd parted as they came closer and set the stretcher on the other side of Lesra.
One of the EMT's, a blonde haired man who looked no older than me, placed two fingers on her neck, checking for a pulse. He wore a serious facial expression as I waited for him to say something.
"I've got a pulse," he said to the EMT next to him. "But we need to move quick. Sir, we're going to need you to gently lay her back down on the floor."
I was reluctant at first. The floors were so cold and she didn't deserve that but I knew what I had to do; I knew what was on the line. I set her back down on the floor and let the blonde haired man place an oxygen mask over her face and a brace around her neck.
They were careful with her as the two of them lifted her onto the stretcher. They wheeled her out the door and Shay followed closely behind. I knew she'd be riding in the ambulance with them.
Another figure crouched down beside me minutes later.
"She's gonna be alright, trust me, I know," Tone said but the uncertainty in his tone didn't come across as convincing.
"I..I," I stuttered. I was still kneeling down, my hands were out in front of me covered in her blood that had begun to dry.
"I'll bring you to the hospital," Tone offered.
I shook my head. Not to turn him down, but because I couldn't believe what had just happened.
"You have to be strong Wren," Tone began to explain. "For both of those girls."
The car ride to the hospital was quiet and painful. I couldn't help but think that this was all my fault. We could've patiently waited for the person in the downstairs bathroom to come out, I shouldn't have directed her to the upstairs bathroom. Maybe I should've told her not to wear the long white dress, no matter how beautiful she looked in it.
Tone was silent beside me, not speaking or saying a word. His eyes were directed on the road in front of us and through the darkness, we finally pulled up to the brightly lighted hospital.
Tone stopped in front of the emergency room entrance and before the car could come to a complete stop, I was already out and running through the automatic sliding doors.
With long strides, I made my way through the waiting area and was almost pass the reception desk when a very short nurse stood in my way.
"I'm sorry sir, but where do you think you're going? Access through here is restricted."
In all honesty I didn't know where I was going, but i'd search every room until I found her. My first thought was to pick the nurse up and set her aside but thought against it. My mind was cloudy and I wasn't thinking right.
"I'm looking for Lesra," I told her, my voice sounding raspy. "I need to see her."
The nurse looked up at me curiously and then down to my blood stained clothes. She knew exactly who I was speaking of. The emergency room seemed almost empty at the moment and when a pregnant women covered in blood is rushed in just minutes before, you don't forget easily.
"She's in surgery at the moment, Sir, but we ask that you please fill out these papers if you are family," The nurse rounded the desk and handed me a clipboard that already had a stack of papers clipped underneath in.
I looked at her in utter disbelief. How could she or anybody for that matter be calm when the woman I loved was dying and possibly my daughter too?
"There's a young lady over there," the nurse smiled, pointing somewhere behind me. "Who's also here with the patient. She was too distraught to fill these out."
I took the clipboard from her, wanting to break it in two over my knee but instead, I asked her for a pen before walking over to the waiting area and slumping down in one of the blue hospital chairs.
In the corner of the room, a television quietly played the news. A few seats down, Shay rocked back and forth in her chair.
I too set the clipboard down on the chair in between us and covered my hands with my face. I couldn't control the sobs that racked my body. I was supposed to be strong, I was supposed to be positive and hopeful but seeing her so limp in my arms when she was usually so energetic and full of laughter and love had taken any source of hope away from me.
My tears hit the palms of my hands, turning the dried blood wet again. I knew I was making a mess all over my face, but I didn't care.
The automatic sliding doors opened, probably Tone after parking the car.
"What did you do to her, huh? What the fuck did you do to her?" The aggravating voice of the man who couldn't seem to leave Lesra alone echoed throughout the small waiting room. I couldn't be bothered with him at the moment.
"I'm talking to you, asshole," he shouted, his voice louder as he neared me.
I stood up as he got closer. He was tall, but not taller than I. My hands were clenched at my sides, ready to pound his head in to the floor. Then, they slowly uncleaned. I let out another sob. I was weak and defeated before he could lay a finger on me.
"Hit me," I begged him. "Punch me, kick me, straggle me, kill me. If it brings her back out here in one piece, then please do it."
The muscles in his face tensed. Both of our faces exuded anger but I wasn't willing to act on it and he wasn't either as he took a small step back.
I lowered myself back down into the seat as his glaring eyes shot daggers into me. It was nothing compared to the pain I was already feeling. Tone walked in and sat down bedside Shay, pulling her into his chest.
A doctor coming through the restricted area approached us. I stood up first and the other three people in the waiting room followed just milliseconds later. He wore a long white lab coat that had two pens clipped into the breast pocket. Underneath the coat he wore a silver shirt that matched the color of his hair. His face was calm and I could feel the good news coming next. They were both going to be okay.
"You're all are here for Ms.Wright, right?" He asked.
We nodded our heads.
"We'll we've arrived at a problem. Ms. Wright lost a significant amount of blood and hasn't been getting the needed amount of oxygen to continue to support both herself and the baby. Not only that, but our monitors tell us that the baby is in distress. We've already got a emergency C- section planned but we're afraid that if we take out the baby, Ms. Wright will only lose more blood..," the doctor explained.
"Okay, so what are you saying?" I asked the doctor.
"I'm saying there's a possibility that we wont be able to save them both, sir," the doctor replied. He let out a breath and allowed his eyes to land on all four of us. "It could be one or the other."
Silence layered us like a blanket. I looked down at the floor that had been carpeted in only the waiting room area.
"Who gives a hell about that baby?" The bastard behind me shouted. "Save Lesra of course. That baby won't know the difference between life or death!"
I turned my head to glare at Noah. Fire raged in my eyes. Who the hell did he think he was, speaking about my child like that?
Tone took notice and stepped in front of Noah. One arm was still wrapped around Shay whilst the other one was pushing back on his chest. "Ay man, you really need to calm down, alright?" He advised.
"Listen doctor," I began. "If you have enough time to be out here telling us all this, then you have enough time to be in there saving both of them."
The doctor opened his mouth to say something but then closed it. He nodded his head before turning around and leaving the same way he came.
I lowered myself down in to the chair and leaned my head back. The next time he came, he would be delivering the news of which one of them made it and which didn't.
Another hour passed.
I no longer felt comfortable sitting anymore so I began to pace. Back and forth I walked along the length of the waiting room. My eyes would dart in the direction of the restricted access door every other second. I left the room once to clean the blood from my hands and face in the washroom. I had filled out the papers to the best of my ability and decided to put everything under my name.
"You know what," Noah stood up. "I can't- no I wont sit around and wait for someone to walk through that door so they could tell us that Lesra didn't make it." He shook his head. "To those surgeons she's just another person who had a tragic end. They don't really care about her. None of you really care about her."
"Noah," Shay seethed, it was the first time she spoke since we'd arrived.
"Oh don't Noah me, Shay," He scoffed. "You're the one that pressured her into this whole surrogate business. And you. You and your wife couldn't adopt, really? And now look where we're at! The love of my life is in there fighting for her life because of you selfish idiots."
"Shut up Noah! Shut up!" Shay screamed. Her eyes were blood shot red and it seemed that her hair would turn the shade as well. "'You're not helping being here. Just leave!" She demanded.
He looked at the three of us one final time, scoffed and then left through the automatic sliding doors.
More sobs filled Shay soon after and Tone continued to comfort and murmur into her ear.
Removing my phone from inside of my pants pocket, I scrolled through all the missed calls before clicking over to my contacts. I hadn't bothered to call Shawna before because I was still in shock but as time passed, the reality of what was happening had sunk in.
I dialed her number and waited for her to pick up, but nothing. She had to have heard about what happened by now, so where was she? Did she really not care?
"Mr. Cavora," A man said.
I looked up with weary eyes and could feel a jolt run through my body at the sight of the doctor. I jumped out of my seat, clasping my hands together and putting them to my lips.
"Please be good news," I trembled.
"Congratulations, Mr. Cavora," the doctor nodded with a small smile. "We were able to successfully deliver your baby girl via Cesarean section."
I glanced upwards and exhaled. She was here and she was alive. Tone stood by my side and patted my back.
"She does have a few minor health problems," the doctor added. "But it was to be expected due to her early arrival. The fall didn't physically harm her in any way."
"And what about Lesra?" I asked.
There was a delayed response. "Ms. Wright took a hard blow to the head causing internal bleeding on her brain. We were able to stop the bleeding, but unfortunately she fell into a coma. She also suffered from a few broken bones in her ankle and wrist."
I gulped. "So she's alright then? She's gonna live?"
The doctor sighed. "We're still uncertain. We're still running tests on her but at this point she has very little brain function. There's no telling how long it'll take until she wakes up if she wakes up. I'm sorry."
I ran my hand through my hair, pulling as I went.
"I was just reading over the papers we asked you to fill out," the doctor said. Holding up the clipboard, he flipped to the next page and popped on his glasses that he kept inside his breast pocket. "It says that she fell down a flight of stairs?"
"Yeah..yeah she did," I replied.
"Was Ms. Wright prone to tripping over things while she was pregnant?"
"No," I shook my head. "But accidents happen."
"Accidents do happen," he agreed. "If you don't mind me asking, did you find Ms. Wright at the bottom of the stairs?"
"No I did," Shay stepped up. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and looked up at the doctor with guarded eyes.
"And how did you come upon her?" He asked.
"I'm sorry," Tone butted in. "But what's with all the questions?"
"Getting as full of a picture when it comes to what happened will help me better analyze and treat the her," the doctor kindly explained.
"Well um, Tone and I were in the downstairs bathroom," Shay recalled and I recalled knocking on it to hear a man reply that he was using it. To think that it was Tone and Shay in there..
"And then we heard a scream," Shay said.
"But we thought it was coming from outside where the baby shower was happening," Tone added in.
"After we um..finished in the bathroom, I was about to go upstairs to get my sister when I found-," Shay began to choke up and Tone pulled her in close.
"How much time passed from when you heard the scream to when you found Ms.Wright?"
"Umm," She paused to think back. "It couldn't have been more than two minutes after."
"Thank you. Thank you all for your cooperation. I know that this is a very tough time and I can assure you that we're gonna do everything we can for Ms. Wright and your daughter."
"Thank you doctor-" before, I didn't take the chance to look at his badge and actually get his name. "Thank you, Dr. Carey."
He nodded his head and took a step back so he could turn around and leave.
"Wait," I called, reaching for him.
He turned around and looked at me curiously.
"Can I..See her?" It came out quietly. I cleared my throat and spoke louder. "Can I see my daughter?"
"Of course you can. She's up in the NICU waiting for you."
Dr. Carey led me through a series of doors and elevators until we reached two white doors indicating that this was where the entrance of the NICU was. Tone and Shay stayed behind, allowing me the opportunity to meet my daughter one on one.
Dr. Carey scanned a card on a device along the wall and waited as the doors slowly opened for us.
The first thing I noticed was the change in flooring. Instead of there being carpet like the rest of the general hospital, there was a dark wood finish. The NICU was really just a very large room. However, there were walls that separated the place into smaller sections. In the middle of the room was a large reception desk and there were plenty of nurses in the NICU to go round.
An elderly nurse with a warm smile came towards us. Her scrubs were a pattern of little teddy bears.
"Hi, I'm Nurse Su," she greeted. "You must be Mr. Cavora."
I bobbed my head up and down and returned the small smile.
"I'll take him from here Dr. Carey," Nurse Su assured him.
"Thank you. I'm going to go back and check in with my colleagues about Ms. Wright."
There was a pang of sadness just thinking about Lesra and her current condition. Somewhere in the distance I could hear a baby crying, bringing me back into the warm environment of the NICU.
"Your sweet little bundle of joy is this way," she motioned for me to follow her and I did. The long black braid that hung down her back swung back and forth as she went.
I looked closely into each open area and could see that each incubator was being occupied by a little baby.
I was anxious, knowing that with each step I was getting closer and closer to seeing her. We walked into one of the little sections and there she was, in the incubator closest to the window.
Her dark eyes were opened and alert as if she'd been waiting for me to come and see her. On her head was a a mop of dark black hair. Her little nose wrinkled as she tried to fit her fist into her mouth, making my face light up.
Her body was small, about the length between my elbow and wrist. Along her abdomen were little patches that were connected to wires and there was a wire that was taped along her cheek that went up her nose.
I couldn't tear my eyes away from the precious sight in front of me even as Nurse Su began to speak.
"She weighs four pounds two ounces and measures at 17 inches long." Nurse Su went on to explain what each wire was used for and her current condition.
"Her lungs are well developed for a preemie, but we're giving her additional oxygen so she'll be at the correct amount that she needs. She'll have to stay in the NICU for several more weeks until all of her body systems and organs are fully developed. She'll also need to gain some more weight, about another pound or so and until her suckling reflex fully kicks in, she'll get the food and nutrients she need through a feeding tube if not from a bottle."
I listened and digested all the information. Just seeing her and knowing that she was here made me feel like things were going to be okay. Lesra would wake up soon and we'd all be together.
A small whine erupted from the tiny lips of the little creature in front of me. I looked to Nurse Su with a panicked expression.
Nurse Su laughed and directed me towards a sink. I had to wash my hands before I was allowed to touch her.
I stuck my hand through the hole on the side of the incubator and brushed my pointer finger against the wrinkly soft skin on her arm. She began to visibly calm down.
For a second, I couldn't believe that this was real. This was my daughter and she was here. I'd seen her ultra sound pictures when she was just a tiny little pea and now here she was.
"She's so beautiful and perfect," I murmured. I brushed my fingers across her little balled up fist.
She opened her hand and unconsciously wrapped her tiny little fingers around my much larger one.
"Hi little one," I smiled. "It's your daddy...I'm so glad you're here and safe...I love you so much."
She turned her head towards me. It could've been my imagination playing up, but I could've sworn that I saw a little smile appear on her tiny pink lips before she closed her eyes. It was that little scene that would stick with me forever. The little smile and the tight grip she had not only on my finger but on my heart.
I would do anything- be anything for her.
"Did you pick out a name?" Nurse Su asked.
I shook my head. "No, I was hoping Lesra could help me with that. But now the baby's here and Lesra..isn't."
"Hopefully Ms. Wright will wake up soon. Not just for namesake reasons, but because no one should have to go through any of this..I'll let you and your daughter have some time alone."
"Thank you, Nurse Su for everything you've already done and everything you'll do in the weeks to come."
I looked back down at my daughters sleeping state. It was difficult to tell what features of hers came from who with her being so young. Her lips that were thinner on top and fuller on bottom and ears that were a little pointed definitely came from me. She didn't look a lick like Shawna, that was for sure. I thought she'd at least inherit the red hair that I once found sexy on Shawna but surprisingly, she didn't.
In fact, the structure of her face, her thick lashes that rested against her cheek and the calmness in her little features as she slept was so similar to someone else I knew that it scared me a little.
I shook my head I was foolish to even think that.
My other hand went into the second hole in the incubator that was closer to her lower half. I counted ten toes, each with their own tiny nails on them.
I retracted both of my hands and pulled out my phone. Not wanting to forget what she looked like at that moment, I began snapping pictures of her. I walked around the incubator so I was by the bottom of it, where her feet were and squatted so I could take a picture with the focus on her small feet.
I narrowed my eyes to get a closer look at her feet and became confused. I wouldn't have payed the tiny little dot, clearly a beauty mark, on the bottom of her left foot any mind but seeing it on her foot quickly reminded me of someone else's foot who had the same exact dot in the same exact place.
Coincidence? I wasn't too sure.
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A/N:
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