Chapter 3
I was in third grade when I understood what love was. At least I thought I did. I wasn't sure that there was a lot more to understand than just being someone's girlfriend and having your first kiss.
I sat on the swings next to Cory, one of the only guys who actually liked me as a friend. We sat in silence while hearing the faint creaks of the rusted iron on the school swings. We were usually here after school. Since both of our parents worked and there was no one at home to take care of us, we had to stay at school together with the counselors.
"Hey, Cory?" I asked to bring up a conversation. He hummed in response and turned his head to me. "Do you want to play a game to know how much we know about each other? You are my best friend. You should know."
"That sounds fun! How do you play?" His face glowed at the mention of a game.
"I will ask you ten questions about me, and you have to answer them."
"What do I get if I get them all right?" My eyebrows knitted together and I tapped on my chin to think.
"Well, you could have whatever you want," I said.
"Anything I want?"
"Anything you want."
"Okay. Let's start."
"Okay. What is my favorite color?"
"Ooh! Dark blue!"
"Correct. What is my favorite TV show?"
"My Little Pony."
He continued to answer all the questions correctly. I was starting to get a little ticked off. I angrily blew the lock of hair out of my face. I took a deep breath, hoping to take the risk for this last question.
"I'm sure you won't get this one," I smirked. "Who is my crush?" He looked at me for a second with a blank expression until I saw he had a smirk on his face as well. He leaned in to whisper in my ear.
"It's me, isn't it?" At that moment, I didn't know why, but my heart started beating as if there was a drum-set being played in my body. I blushed and turned my head away from him.
"Ask," I mumbled.
"What?" He tilted his head to the side to explain.
"What do you want? You got all the answers right." I could hear him whisper a "Yes!" to the side.
"Look at me." I did, and he did something I never knew he would do to me. He leaned towards me again. This time, not to whisper in my ear. He pressed his lips to mine. It only lasted for a couple of seconds, but it felt like my heart was about to explode.
"I like you too, Mika." He replied. Instead of holding my hand like I expected him to, He just walked away.
I gasped as I felt something warm on my lips. When I found out what it was, I figured that it was Liam's lips. Of course.
As much as I wanted to push him off, I continued to kiss him so that I know that he wouldn't get a doubt about me. After a minute of making it seem pretty realistic, I pushed away, acting like I was gasping for air when I really didn't. As a person who could hold their breath underwater for about three minutes, a minute means nothing to me. I looked at my wrist to see my watch. I gasped.
"Oh God. Lunch is over. I have to go now." I scrambled off his lap. He groaned and held my hand so that I wouldn't go.
"Do you have to leave?" He pulled me closer. "We could just skip class and do something better." He winked and raised his eyebrow suggestively.
"How about another time? I have to go now. You know how strict Mr. Larry can get." I bit my lip while tracing my acrylic nails over his jawline. He had a very impressive jawline; not gonna lie. But I know that he is not my type. If Liam was a person who was meaningful in my life, I would definitely love him as a friend, in the most platonic way possible.
"When will that be then?"
"You know when." I winked and left him alone. In the library. With a boner.
As I walked to the fifth period of the day, I took a look at the door. It was so tempting to just open it and run out of this school, where I would be free. But what can I say? Mr. Larry, my Spanish teacher, just happens to be one of the many guards that Chris (my kidnapper) has appointed. Honestly asking, am I really worth this much of his money and time? If he wanted to make me suffer, he could have just killed me already. I mean, that's kinda what I want as well. But it can't happen. Because life sucks. And so does destiny and fate.
I opened the door to the classroom, to see that everyone was staring at me. I looked to the front of the class to see that Mr. Larry was writing on the Promethean Board with a worksheet in his hand. Shit! I forgot to do that.
"Miss Dawson. Any reason for being late?" Mr. Larry asked me. I ignored the lust-filled gazes from the guys and the annoyed glares from the girls.
"Yes. I do." I replied.
"May I ask what that reason is?" I shook my head in denial.
"No. You may not." I sat down in my seat, hooking the straps of the bag to the back of the chair.
"And why is that?"
Because according to the fifth amendment of the United States Constitution, I have the right to remain silent when I want to.
I wished I could say that. Come back to my sassy self. The one that I was over two years ago.
I opened my mouth to say something, but I was interrupted when the door creaked open. I wasn't able to see the person as the door was behind me. I didn't want to be rude. Do you know how awkward it is when the whole class looks at you as if you murdered someone just because you came late?
"Who are you?" Mr. Larry asked.
"Um." He cleared his throat as soon as he heard it sound a little hoarse. "I'm a new student. Sorry, I'm late. I couldn't find my way around. I just came to school, too." He sounded English. Hmm. New accent.
Mr. Larry thought for a second before his face it up in realization.
"Clyde Beaumont, is that right?"
"Yes, it is."
"Come in. Stand in front of the class and introduce yourself." I heard the footsteps coming closer and closer until they stopped. I looked up from my paper as he started talking.
He was... I didn't even have any words. He was tall. A little less than six feet. He wasn't like any other guy that I've known other than really bulky and tall, or somewhat tall and fat. He was different.
He was lean. His first appearance didn't show too many muscles, but I knew that he would have them, though. His brown hair was a little shriveled, but spiky, which gave the look. His black nerdy glasses matched perfectly with his hair and pale skin tone. His heart-shaped face went well with his body physique.
His smile made me feel comfortable about the fact that I'd be in school.
"Well, that's all about me. I hope to know about you a little more in the year." He smiled at the class.
"Well, I assume you feel a little better in this class now. Please take your seat right behind Shayla." Mr. Larry pointed to the seat behind me. For some weird reason, I felt my heart speed up as he took his seat behind me.
Great, Mika. You officially developed a crush. Crush at first sight, if that's how you shall put it.
The whole time, I was daydreaming about what my life would be if I was normal like everyone else. That's all I wish for. I wanted to cry about how I hated my life, but I know that there would be no one to listen to me. Every one would either back away or just stare at me in the most perverted way. I hate how it happens.
When the bell rang, I knew that I had to get out of the classroom as soon as possible, or else, I would meet Liam on the way, or someone else.
"Shayla, stay for a bit. I have to speak to you." I pressed my lips in a thin line and squinted my eyes at my failed attempt to get out of the class.
Damn it!
I waited until everyone got out of the classroom, and I went to the front of the classroom to talk to Mr. Larry.
"Yes?" I asked, annoyed.
"Chris couldn't come by this morning-"
"I'm grateful."
"And he said that he wanted at least fifty by morning." He ignored my comment.
"Fifty? I can't."
"Your guardian is just-" I let out a dry laugh.
"Guardian my ass. If anything, he wants to destroy my life. Oh, wait," I smiled sarcastically. "He already did."
"Why can't you get fifty?"
"I go to church every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to get rid of all my sins. Since I have no one to vent to, I have to go to church and do it. At least Jesus would listen. You never allowed me to have any friends." I laughed. "Why am I telling all this to you anyways? It's not like you would help me kill Chris." I slung my bag over my shoulder. "I'm leaving. If there's anything else you need to say, it wouldn't matter. I doubt it's anything useful."
I was about to leave the room when I was called back in.
"Take this. Twenty dollars." My heart stopped.
"You have a wife and-"
"Take it. I'm not asking for anything. I've known you for two years, and I've known Chris for over ten. I know how he can get. Lie that you got it from someone else." I hesitantly took the money. I was unsure and confused. Out of all the bodyguards, Mr. Larry was the one who seemed to care the least about me.
I just left the class, not wanting to say, "Thank You". I didn't get the courage to. Out of the two years I have been in California, this is the one thing that made me believe that there was still some humanity left in people.
I walked into the library (since I had a free period), sitting in my usual spot, the one right beside the window. There was a goldfish there, swimming around in its small tank. I loved sitting next to the goldfish. It seemed so far away from trouble. It was the only one in its world, happy and satisfied with life.
I stood up from my seat to look for a good book to read. Romance. That's what I read. I just need a little hope in my life that all of this will be over in no time, and that I would find someone who would love me for me. The first romance book that I read was The Fault in our Stars. I cried. It was a beautiful story, and it was definitely worth my tears.
I skimmed my index finger over the books, trying to find if there was a good book that I could pick out and read. As soon as I was about to take one off the shelf, I felt a hand on my shoulder, making me jump. I placed my hand on my chest when I turned around. I thought my heart would stop beating so fast, but it increased.
Clyde.
"Hey, could you recommend some books for me?" He asked me, his dark blue eyes piercing into mine. I simply nodded my head, knowing that if I open my mouth, it would be a word-vomit. I quickly looked through the shelves and chose my favorite out of all of them.
"To All the Boys I've Loved Before?" I nodded again.
"I read the book and watched the movie." I opened my mouth to say something more, but I got cut off by some people who hate me.
"Ugh, Clyde. You should know better than talking to her." One of the girls said.
"Why? She seems nice."
"But she goes sleeping around so often that if you touch her, you get STD's." He looked at me in disbelief. Well, there goes my chance on getting a friend.
"And she does it for money." The other girl said. "So basically, she's a prostitute." He looked at me in disgust. It hurt. A lot.
At that moment, I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to die, hoping I would never be seen again. I wanted to cry at that moment. The one person I liked in the school looked at me in disgust. I couldn't help but just stand there, digging my acrylic nails into my palms.
"Well, if you turned transgender, there shouldn't be a problem with me doing this. It's America, a free country. I can do whatever the fuck I want, and you have no say in this." I walked out of the area with my bag over my shoulder. Since the last period was Physical Education and my teacher sleeps during class, it didn't really matter.
Instead of moving to another part of the library, I stormed out of the school itself, into the car, and off to the guest house.
Running up to my room, I opened all the drawers, trying to look for something. Something that I tried to keep so that no one could see it and take it away from me. A box cutter.
I couldn't control the anger raging through my body. I had to do something to stop it. I brought my shaking hand with the razor to my wrist. It was going closer and closer, but I just couldn't do it.
I threw the razor to a random place in the room. I fell to the ground, just like the glass pieces from my mirror fell down from its actual position. I sobbed and screamed my heart out. I wanted to break everything in this damn house.
I looked at my mirror, to see various cracks in them. I was like my mirror; broken. Even if I put tape back on, it wouldn't look the same.
I picked up a photograph of my family, right before they died. We looked so happy and so carefree like there was nothing that would happen. My dad was an orphan, and my grandfather disowned my mom when she ran away to marry my dad, so technically, both were orphans (in a way).
They didn't want Kat, my sister, and me to be orphans. That didn't happen for Kat, luckily. But it had to happen to me.
I wish there was nothing like this anymore. I wish it could all be over soon.
I continued to stare at the picture in my hands.
"I miss you guys so much. I wish I could be with you." I croaked, tears falling on the picture. "I love you." I continued to sob until everything was out. I never cried like this for a year. It needs to stop, and I know for sure, it will. Soon.
Very soon.
~~~~~
Yay!
So you guys met Clyde and Mika has a crush on him! How is this gonna go?
And yesterday was the 50th Anniversary of Celebrating Pride! I have 2 friends who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Comment on your sexuality (unless you're straight...)
I'm an Ally!
Comment on any grammatical errors:
Any shower thoughts again?
I love you all and keep reading my fluffy muffins (you choose the flavor ;))
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